Chapter 46 Make Love To Me #2
I relax out of our hug, and I pull away on a deep inhale.
I'm not ready to do that yet. I'm not. Because my fucking spirit needs something deeper than the flesh craves.
And because I know this woman, what I need on the inside has got to match what she needs on the inside. I refuse to believe any different.
Placing a hand on her cheek I hold her stare as I begin to walk through the suite, carrying her through the threshold of the bedroom.
"You want me to make love to you?" I ask, my voice hoarse and deep.
"Uh-huh. I do," she whispers, nodding.
"Then take your dress off for me, sweetness." I brush my thumb over her cheek, setting her down onto the carpet and stepping back, giving her a look. Not even trying to hide my hunger. I crave this woman, and everything that comes with her, and she should see exactly how deep this runs for me.
She blinks at me for a second before wetting her lips.
A wave of nervousness radiates from her, hitting me with a blast that makes me almost ejaculate in my briefs.
Distracting myself, I turn and take my watch off and place it on the nightstand, waiting patiently until she unzips her dress and slides it off.
My eyes drag down her body in a slow, thorough perusal. Fuck. She's nothing but soft, bountiful curves and smooth skin. Her areolas are twin dark shadows beneath the lace of her bra, teasing me. I can tell she's smooth under her panties. That swell in her lower tummy is enough to drive me insane.
She's got a slight smattering of dimples across her hips that I just know I'm going to lose my mind when I sink into her. But not tonight.
I cut the lights off, throwing us into complete darkness.
Heart pounding, I round the bed, taking care to go slow as I approach her, pressing myself against her softness, and sinking both hands into her hair.
Cradling her head gently with both hands, I look down.
We're just close enough to make out each other's eyes in the darkness, but that's it.
"Are you going to—" Sarah's breath hitches with her shyness, and I shush her even further by pressing a chaste kiss to her lips before deepening it firmly, until she's whimpering against me and squirming in my hands. I pull away, giving her bottom lip a little lick as I do so.
"No, baby," I croon. Picking her up, I place her down gently on the edge of the bed before stepping back to pull my pants and shirt off, leaving my briefs on, and then crawl under the silky sheets behind her.
My voice deepens as I address her. "I'm not going to make love to you tonight because you don't need me to make love with you. What you need and want is intimacy."
My heart pounds, excited at the prospect of us bonding this way.
"I do?" she asks breathlessly. Her eyes go almost half-lidded as she settles deeper into the pillows. Rubbing a hand down her hair, I smooth it off her shoulder to lie on the satin.
I raise a brow and lower my voice. "You don't trust me?"
She holds her breath for a few seconds. "I do." It comes out confident. Sarah watches me warily. She's got a slight flush on her face, and her chest rises and falls slowly with her breathing. "But I really want to have sex with you," she whispers so quietly that I almost don't hear her.
"Hm-hm," I hum, now running my hand down the length of her arm. "And I want to have sex with you too, but you don't need sex, though. You just want to feel close, and I can provide that."
She nods, exhaling deeply. "I think you can, too."
A smile tips my lips. "Do you, now?" I tease.
"Well…" a cute grin tips the corner of her mouth, "you've been close this entire time."
She's not incorrect. The silence settles around us as we just lay there for a minute. I'm busy stroking my fingers down her cheek when I feel her head turn towards me in the darkness.
"Alex?" she says hesitantly.
I love the way she says my name. It's so intimate falling from her lips that it affects me almost like I've never heard it before. Like she personally chose it for me, cradled it within the palm of her hand, and offered it to me. Like she offered me back to myself.
"Yes, sweetness?"
"Can you…c-can…"
Hearing her hesitancy, I lift up on an elbow and prop my head on my hand. "What is it?" I ask softly. At her silence, my fingers move to her lips, and my thumb smoothes across her bottom lip. "You can ask me anything."
"Can you take my bra off and….and rub my back please?" Her voice is so small as she trails off.
My heart damn near pounds out of my chest, enthralled at the gift she's just given me. "Come here." Moving closer, I slide my arms around her and unsnap her bra.
Though the covers aren't pulled over us, it doesn't matter. It's dark in here; there's not enough light to see her nipples, but I can see the round outline of her breasts, and I feel my cock jerk before thickening the most it's ever done that I can recall.
Placing my temple against hers, I give us a minute to relax into each other like this before I work to pull her closer to me.
I tense at the feel of her erect nipples pressing into my chest before her softness settles against me, and let me tell you, it's the best thing I've ever felt in my entire life.
As my fingers press into her back, I gentle my touch, knowing I'm touching the fading bruises that still grace her flesh. She wanted me to make love to her… but this? This is miles more intimate than me putting my cock into her, and I am so grateful that she's gifted me with her trust.
So I decide to give her a gift of my own. I keep my voice low, within the confines of our little bubble.
"I oftentimes wonder if the nights he was doing this to you were the same nights that I cried myself to sleep.
" I pause for a minute as my fingers stroke her repeatedly, going slow.
In the darkness her head tilts slightly, letting me know she's trying to find my eyes.
Her fingers tighten on my shoulders, grounding me.
"My life had been hell the last few months, and I couldn't figure out why.
For some reason, I kept spiraling and spiraling.
Becoming more agitated and closed off. Now I know.
My soul was responding to you, baby. It was you all along. "
Pressing my hand into the middle of her shoulder blades, I give her a long stroke down the entirety of her back, keeping my touch light, aware that I'm touching a part of her that'd so far been closed off.
The spot on her body where that fucker took his anger out on her.
The fact that she's allowing me to touch her here says so much more to me than her ever letting me have access to her breasts or her pussy.
This is it…what I've been searching so long for. Finally.
This is love.
I press my lips to hers, kissing her softly, slowly. Our bellies rub together, and our thighs touch as she works to maneuver closer. Her foot meets mine, then presses, dragging its way up my calf, and then my thigh, before settling around my hip.
"Make love to me."
She gasps as I seal my mouth around hers, stealing her words. "I am."
My hand firms on her back on the next downward stroke, but instead of stopping at her lower back, I go lower.
I slip my hand into her panties to settle my hand on the curve of her ass and her hip and squeeze.
I groan in pleasure at the feel of her. She's silky soft there.
Warm. My thumb settles into one of the twin dips at the seam of her ass and presses.
Sarah shudders against me, flexing her foot against my thigh, straining.
But we can't get any closer.
"I'm so in love with you," I say, pulling back and meeting her eyes, showing her how much I mean it before pressing my lips to hers again in a kiss I never want to end.
"I love you, too." Her breath hitches. "Alex."
I work my other arm under her, settling my head down on the same pillow as hers and deepen our kiss. I splay my hand on her upper back, holding her steady. Letting her know I've got her. I want her to feel like I'm wrapped all around her.
I'm here, baby, so you don't have to look over your shoulder and watch your back anymore.
My tongue touches hers, whisper-soft, and I revel in the moan she gives me. It's my turn to shudder now as I taste salt.
She's crying.
"Make love to me." Her voice cracks as she pleads.
And I don't know why, but something about her saying it just the way she said it cracks something deep inside me I wasn't aware existed.
I can't remember the last time anyone has said these words to me.
I squeeze my eyes shut as my breath shudders out of my lungs, and I make a tortured groan that I fail to cut off. But it's too late, she's heard.
"I am." My voice breaks in the silence of the room as our breathing, somehow desperate and soft at the same time, fills the empty space between us. "I am, my love."
Her hips roll into mine, her hand goes to my hair, and the other on my back holds me just as firmly as I'm holding her as she cries and breaks under my hands.
She pulls away and then tilts her head down to my chest, pressing a kiss directly over my heart.
My hand cradles the back of her head as I shudder at the first contact of her lips against where I swear I'm most sensitive.
My heart.
It races as she pauses there, giving me another soft kiss and making my fingers tighten against her head as the tears fall. Laying myself bare for this woman is painful. What we're experiencing is painful, like we're trying to carefully dance on the edge of a sword.
"Why are you crying?" Her head tilts back, and her hands come up to cradle my nape tenderly. "Please tell me."
"Because it's been so long since I've had this with another person," I admit, my voice thick with emotion. "Having another person touch me, want to touch me..." In response I tighten my arms around her, pulling her even closer.
"Make love to me," she whispers again, making my cock jerk painfully hard.
Oh, God. I am weak for her…
I swallow hard. "Sweetheart, I—"
"No, shhh…Listen to me." Sarah puts a finger against my lips, silencing my words. She moves her hand away and grabs my forearm, making me rub my hand up and down her back again. "Make love to me," she stresses.
My heart beats wildly out of control because I know then that she gets it. She's giving me permission to love her in this way that I need right now. Because even though sinking into her body would be heaven on earth, I didn't bring her to Vancouver to fuck her; I meant that.
I brought her to Vancouver to acquaint myself with her. And as we rock against each other, kissing, whispering, and touching deep into the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep, I know without a shadow of a doubt that this woman has melted me completely.
As long as I have her, I don't ever have to worry about being cold again.