CHAPTER 33
Is this love, the impermanent pounding of heartbeats? The transient mingling of breaths? There is a vastness in my mind that tells me otherwise. It pains me to realize how little I know the workings of my own heart.
—Entry from the private diary of Patriol, Dragonbound
SERAE
Retrieving our clothes and dressing was a torturous affair.
Eldreth crossed the room to collect our shirts. As he walked back to me, his eyes drank in my body with far too much heat. He kissed me deeply, reigniting the flame that pulsed just under the surface, then said, “I’m so fucking sorry about this.”
“So, you regret it?” I teased.
“Watch it, or I won’t continue where I left off.”
I bit my lip as the memory of him between my legs flooded my vision.
“Please, for me, refocus on separating our minds.”
My cheeks burned. Of course, Vaya’la chose that moment to wake up. I redoubled my effort to pull away from our connection.
Eldreth reached for me, half-dressed, and tugged our bodies back together. “Fuck, you need to stop looking at me like that, or Dane is going to burst in here to a very uncomfortable situation.”
“Right.” Right. We needed to focus. I stepped away and tied my skirt.
Merria’s letters were still secure in my pocket.
“Let’s go.” Eldreth had tied his hair up into a knot again.
“You should wear your hair loose more often,” I said, trying not to let the image of him above me with his hair falling into his face get through to Vaya’la.
“Likewise.” That little smirk on his mouth was hotter than it should be, and I wanted to kiss it right off. Eldreth shook his head. “Fuck. Maybe I should leave first.”
“Don’t want to be seen arriving with me?”
“I’m not sure I can stay another second in this room without—” He glanced over my shoulder, brow furrowing, all playfulness gone from his face. “What in Jaeda?”
I turned, and my eyes went wide. His bed, where I’d been lying, was now completely covered in red chrysanthemum petals. “I can explain.”
His head turned to me. “You can?”
“I—”
“Yes, do explain how you were so lost in your lust that you didn’t notice growing a bed full of flowers. I’m sure that’ll go well for us both.”
My cheeks burned, but she was right. That admission would lead us right back to that bedroom, which we did not have time for. “Dane first, then I can explain.”
He nodded, took my hand, and together we hurried down the corridors toward the Receiving Hall.
“He’s in here at this time of night?” I whispered.
“He’ll have come here so anyone summoned can easily join.”
“Right, that makes sense.”
Eldreth let go of my hand to open the door for me, ushering me in with a hand at the small of my back.
Dane’s eyes lingered on us as we entered, and I realized I hadn’t taken the time to plait my hair or even fix it. He mercifully ignored it.
“Son, Daughter, you’re both here. Good. Hanover, share your message.”
I recognized this messenger from Dane’s visit to the Cavendaffe manor.
He was tall, blond, and handsome in a classic sort of way.
He held an air that spoke the exact opposite of messenger boy.
Dressed in leathers and road weary, exhaustion exuded from him, but his countenance was sharp.
His eyes darted to me for only a second before he unrolled a parchment and spoke.
“Lord Tychon, Margrave of Cavendaffe, bids you well. He shares his regrets that ill tidings have befallen our two kingdoms. A report has reached his ears that two of his vessels were blown off course by an untimely tempest. Rather than see to the safe return of these ships, you attacked forthwith, capturing one of the vessels for your own. No survivors have been recovered from this ship.”
“No survivors?”
I startled as Eldreth and I spoke the words in tandem.
“We sent half a dozen crafts back to them filled with survivors,” he added.
“You attacked their ships?” I asked.
Eldreth’s head snapped to me. “What? No. I mean, yes. They threatened the port, and we chased them down.”
“When did this happen?”
Eldreth turned fully to face me. The gray in his eyes was deep and searching. “The day we bought Sprakt. Are you all right?” he added in a whisper.
“There’s more,” Dane announced.
Hanover cleared his throat and continued.
“As Margrave of these lands, commissioner of these two woeful ships, and holder of the peace treaty between our peoples, he communicates with regret the dissolution of our alliance. He demands the safe return of his daughter, if she is not already spoiled, to his port on the northern border of Cavendaffe forthwith. In addition, he demands the return of his ship in good condition or the value of said ship paid to him in its place. Further, he demands compensation for the lives of the good men and women that were aboard the ship, who are believed to have perished, to the sum of three hundred crown each.”
“Spoiled?” I cried out. Tendrils of vines began to spider out from my palms and up the back of my arms. I took a deep breath.
“Perished?” Eldreth spat.
“The margrave demands a response and compliance with these terms immediately, else he threatens to take action against the Riht.” Hanover turned to Dane, proffering the parchment. “I await your command.”
“You’re a good man, Hanover.” He gripped the messenger’s forearm. “For now, you have my thanks. Rest and await my summons. We have much to discuss here.”
Hanover nodded to each of us in turn, hand to his heart, and withdrew from the room.
When the door thumped closed, Eldreth linked his hand in mine and pulled me to the front, where he sat without ceremony on the first bench across from Dane. He did not drop my hand, instead pulling it into his lap.
Dane himself thumped down onto his throne.
“Where’s Ellán?” Eldreth growled.
“Dealing with a prisoner.”
“He’s still in your dungeon?” I asked.
Dane shook his head. “That’s the problem. Prisoner’s gone. We have a traitor in our midst.” He rubbed his brow. “Ell was expected to report back hours ago.”
The blood in my veins ran cold. An Inraen prisoner had escaped, and my little journal full of every damning piece of evidence was missing. My hands started to shake, and I pulled free of Eldreth’s grip before he could notice.
“The two missing longships returned,” Dane went on. “They tracked the entire Inraen coast and found Cavendaffe amassing ships in his harbors.”
“I’ve also had a letter.” I pulled the page from my pocket. “From my sister.”
Dane got up and took it. His limp was more pronounced than usual. After one glance, he handed it back to me to translate aloud. When I was done, he said nothing and paced with his uneven gait.
“She already expected you home?” Eldreth asked.
I shrugged.
Dane’s pacing continued while he stroked one hand down his braided beard. “You send many letters to your sister.”
I nodded, though his tone was matter-of-fact. I always sent my letters from the lady Gerta had found at the market, yet he knew.
Eldreth’s hand moved to my thigh and tightened. On instinct, my second sight flew open. His usually bright lifelight was dim and tinged with orange. Waves of fear wafted off him. I could feel the apprehension weaving through his body.
Turning to Dane, I saw flickers of dull blue and mauve, wavering between disappointment and disgust. Not what I expected from either man.
I gasped. “You’re sending me back.”
“No,” Eldreth said, fingers denting into my flesh as if he would keep me here by their force alone. He looked up at Dane in challenge. “No.”
“Calm yourself, Son. She stays.”
In a flooding rush, the fear disappeared and was replaced by his usual shining white light.
“There is, however, the matter of this to discuss.” From a pocket, he withdrew a small brown journal that I recognized at once.
My heart bypassed my stomach and fell straight through to the floor.
At the same time, my lungs stopped working.
A sob choked in my throat as the lack of air cut it off, and my whole body began to shake.
Eldreth turned, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me to his chest. A selfish part of me let him, knowing it could be the last time he ever wanted to touch me again.
Our tentative bond could only take so much strain at once, and this might just be enough to snap it in two.
“Care to explain why your reálta found this in your rooms?” Dane asked.
Eldreth shook his head. “I don’t know what it is.”
“Daughter?” Dane prompted.
“I was going to burn it.” I wanted to scream the words, but with no breath left in me, they barely scratched out of my throat. Betrayal burned deep in my gut. Why hadn’t Callagh brought this to me? We could have tossed it into the fire together.
“And the prisoner?” he asked. His tone was level and even, but each word felt like a slap to the face.
Eldreth’s grip on me loosened. He was already pulling away.
All I could do was deny it, but I knew how it looked. “I know nothing of the prisoner. I don’t even know where the prison is.”
“Father”—Eldreth’s voice held a warning—“what is this?”
Dane tossed the book to Eldreth, who caught it in one hand. Then, he clomped back to his throne. “Do you want to tell him, or shall I?”
I swallowed hard and wiped the tears from my face with the backs of my hands.
Eldreth deserved so much more than a sobbing wreck and wayward betrayer, but I wanted him with every part of me.
We’d barely had a chance to start. He may have been done fighting, but now more than ever, I knew I would have to begin.
I would fight until my very last breath to keep him.
“It’s a journal of notes I took detailing everything I’ve learned since coming to the Riht.”
Eldreth shrugged, looking between me and Dane. “I already know you like taking notes.”
If my ribs weren’t so busy shredding me from the inside, I might have laughed. Of course, he would think this journal was as innocent as the green one tucked safely in my room.
“What were you going to do with this?” Dane challenged.
“Burn it. I swear.”
He lowered his brows. “Daughter, come here.” The formality of Dane’s voice caught me off guard.
I rose and approached. He held out both of his hands for me to take.
“Where do you belong?” he asked.
I flinched, trying to pull back, but he held firm. My face crumpled.
“This is no test. Answer from your heart. Where do you belong?”
“Here,” I said. “I am part of the Riht.”
Eldreth stood and walked to my side. “I can ready our forces. I can start within the hour. But I need to understand everything first.”
Both men’s eyes were on me, but it was Dane who squeezed my hands and spoke. “Serae, lass. It’s time you came clean.”
Eldreth’s hand moved to the small of my back, turning me ever so gently toward him.
I wondered if I would feel casual touches like this from him again.
I began to speak. Secrets I’d been holding onto for months poured out.
Neither man interrupted as treachery and betrayal fell from my lips.
The only thing I had to prove my sincerity was my words—so I gave them everything.