Chapter 13
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
The barn has become our little paradise that we visit every chance we get.
We’re careful never to disappear for too long and to make sure our work is done first. I’ve been extra busy the last few days since Matron Ruth is sick.
With many new members to feed and clean up after, I was ordered to help in the kitchen all day along with my night duties with Troy.
I’m exhausted and relieved to hear that Matron Ruth is feeling better and will be back at work in the morning.
All the food has been cleared, the leftovers put away, and the dishes washed when Matron Helen carries in an icing covered pan with a mini cinnamon roll stuck in one corner.
“Almost forgot this,” she says, handing it to me.
“Thank you.” She nods and exits, leaving me alone in the kitchen. At least, I thought I was.
“Sinful!” My name reverberates through the small space a second after I pop the cinnamon roll into my mouth. One of the new stewards, I can’t remember his name in my sudden panic, glares at me from the doorway.
My throat aches as I swallow the bite. “Yes, Steward?”
“You’re stealing food.” Pure joy is undisguised in his voice, as if he’s only been waiting for this moment.
“I…no, Steward, all the food has been put away. It was just a cinnamon roll that would’ve gone in the trash.”
He crosses his arms. “Does that make it yours?”
“Well, no, but…”
“Governor Nolan told me to watch you. He knew they couldn’t trust you with any responsibility. That you’d take advantage. Come with me.”
Fear and disbelief won’t let my feet obey for a long moment. The words spill out without thought. “It was just one bite that was going to be thrown away.”
He snatches my arm, squeezing tight enough to bruise. “I said come on, bitch.” I’m dragged through the dining room and outside where he waves to Governor Nolan, who walks toward us. He marches me up to him, his chin held high and a smile on his face, clearly proud of himself.
“Steward Joshua,” Governor Nolan greets. That’s the name of the little bastard who isn’t more than seventeen and can’t wait to abuse his power over women. The indignity of being hauled around by a child is almost as bad as facing the governor.
“Governor, I caught her stealing food. Walked into the kitchen and saw her eating.” He can’t hide his excitement, his eagerness to please.
“Governor, I wasn’t—” My argument is abruptly cut off by the governor’s sharp look.
“She was eating cinnamon rolls,” Steward Joshua adds.
When Governor Nolan looks at me, I can’t remain quiet. “Please, Governor, it was one mini cinnamon roll. There wasn’t enough left over to put it away before I cleaned the pan.”
He nods. “So you ate it.”
“Yes, Governor.”
“You are given adequate weekly rations. Anything outside of that is theft. You know this.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think. It was going in the trash so I just…” I know I’m not going to win. “I’m sorry.” One bite of a cinnamon roll and they’re acting like I robbed their safe. Imagine if they ever found out what Troy is up to.
“Have you finished your kitchen duties?” Governor Nolan asks.
“I have one pan left to wash.”
“Do it, then wait right there,” he orders, pointing to a bench near the playground.
My hands fidget and anxiety gnaws at my stomach. What are they going to do to me? I don’t dare make it worse by arguing or asking questions. “Yes, Governor.”
Steward Joshua follows him when he walks away. “Caught her red handed, didn’t I? I brought her straight to you. I knew you’d want to deal with her.”
I have to turn my back quickly to hide my grin at the look Governor Nolan gives him, like he’s an annoying gnat buzzing around his face.
Steward Joshua bouncing around him, desperate for approval, reminds me of a Chester and Spike cartoon I loved when I was a kid.
Anything you say, Spike. You and me is pals, ain’t we, Spike? Spike is my hero.
All I want to do is get back to my trailer to sleep before Troy and I go to work tonight, but I trudge back to the kitchen, wash the pan, then return to wait on the bench. I make sure to get a drink of water and use the bathroom first, in case I’m headed back to the reflection hall.
Maybe I’ve been under their radar for too long to remember how cruel they can be, but part of me doesn’t expect that.
It was one bite of food. After six years of servitude without breaking a rule.
Not one they found out about anyway. I know Governor Nolan likes to paddle Jane.
It’ll probably be a few swats. I’ve had worse.
It’s dark by the time Governor Nolan approaches me, and I get to my feet to follow him without being asked.
Dread begins to grow into terror, slowing my steps when I realize I’m being taken back to the meadow.
Where they took me before to tattoo me, to strip me of everything, my hair and my future as anything but a servant.
I’m relieved to see there isn’t a crowd gathered, but a new addition to the platform makes me freeze. The moonlight shows me a large wooden post about seven feet tall that’s been bolted on one end. An eyebolt has been driven into the backside of it where two metal handcuffs hang.
My body begins to tremble. Am I going to be strapped or whipped? It’s been a threat that’s tossed around but I’ve never seen it carried out. Governor Nolan grips my arm and marches me up onto the platform.
“Face the pole and put your hands up,” he orders.
“Please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to break the rules. I just didn’t think. I’ll never do it again.”
Ignoring my pleas, he jerks my hand up and tightens the cuff around it, then secures the other. As he’s doing this, Steward Joshua comes rushing up the hill, proudly displaying a large painted sign that bears one word. Thief.
My shoulders slump when I see a large group of others making their way to the meadow, their flashlights bobbing.
Steward Joshua affixes the sign to the edge of the platform in front of me.
The cuffs don’t keep my hands above my head.
They’re at forehead level, just high enough that I can’t sit down or go down on my knees.
There’s no give, no way to turn around or escape the eyes of the growing crowd.
Once there’s a decent amount of people, Governor Nolan holds up his hands while Steward Joshua points a flashlight at him so everyone can see.
“Sinful was caught stealing. She will remain here for twenty-four hours without food, water, or shelter. No one is permitted to offer her assistance of any kind. Is that understood?”
A murmur of agreement runs through the audience while heads nod. Jane gazes up at me but I’m grateful that Troy isn’t here to see this. He’s probably unaware and sleeping before work tonight. Work I won’t be joining him to do.
Governor Nolan turns to me. “No speaking or the clock starts over.”
Satisfied with my silent nod, he regards the collective again. “We’ve had other things go missing since our groups merged. Jewelry, a few tools, and bottles of alcohol. This is unacceptable at Hearth and Vine Farm. Stealing goes against his natural order.”
“As he intends,” multiple people call out before he continues.
“Let Sinful be an example of what happens if you take what does not belong to you.” He sweeps his eyes over a group of kids between eleven and fourteen years old who are talking. “This applies to everyone. Do not think you’re too young to pay the price.”
They quiet instantly and put their heads down. “First offense is twenty-four hours. A second offense is five days. Take a good look and you may go. Be sure to tell the others so that they can also see how we deal with thieves.”
It’s not so bad, I try to tell myself during the first couple of hours.
People come to gawk at me, and a few try to ask what I stole, but I’m not allowed to talk.
Finally, I’m left alone in the dark. I’m not afraid.
I’m accustomed to being alone and the dark has never been my enemy.
It’s not the ache in my feet or my exhaustion that gets to me first, despite the fact I’ve already been awake for twenty-four hours. It’s the cold.
We’re in the last few days of September, and the nights aren’t warm. I shiver as a breeze hits me, and clouds begin to block out the stars. I’m grateful I have a long-sleeved shirt on, but it’s going to be a long, miserable night as the temperature drops.
One by one, the lights in the homes go out.
I tilt my head up to breathe warm breath onto my chilly hands.
I wonder if anyone told Troy that I wouldn’t be with him tonight or if he showed up at my trailer to get me.
He’s surely on the road now or back behind one of the stores.
The thought puts tears in my eyes. One night.
It’s just one night, I remind myself. At this time tomorrow night, I’ll be back beside him in the truck, right where I belong.
It’s torture not knowing how much time is passing. The night has turned cloudy and so dark that I can’t see past the edge of the platform. My arms and feet ache. I’m more miserable by the second, cold, thirsty, and so damn tired.
When I hear Troy whisper my name in the blackness, I think I’ve imagined it. I whip my head around, but there’s no one. Just wishful thinking.
“I’m down here, under the platform,” he says a little louder. “Do you see anyone around?”
I’m too stunned to be worried that I’ll get caught talking. They didn’t leave a guard up here and I doubt they’ll bother sending anyone to check on me. “No, what are you doing? How…”
“I came up from the back way and crawled under just now.”
“You can’t be here. If you get caught, who knows what they’ll do.”
“The truck’s hidden and they think I’m working. Besides, everyone’s in bed by now. It’s past midnight. I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner. I had to make sure they weren’t watching. What did they accuse you of stealing? Was it the necklace?”
“No, I ate a cinnamon roll when I was working in the kitchen.”
He’s quiet for a few seconds. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”
For some reason, that hits me as funny. My quiet giggles make him chuckle. “It’s true, but Governor Nolan did mention that jewelry, tools, and booze have gone missing since the groups merged.”
“None of that was us, other than the jewelry.”
“No, and he didn’t suspect me or question me about it. He thinks it’s one of the new members. They’re making an example out of me again.”
I can hear his deep sigh. “I’ll go get some bolt cutters and come back. We’ll run tonight.”
What’s he talking about? We’ve been over this and our plan. We don’t even have a car lined up yet. “No, we can’t. You said we’d only get one chance, that it’s risking our lives if we’re caught.”
“I know.” Defeat lives in his voice.
“It’s one night. I’ll be fine. Things will go back to normal tomorrow night.”
“For how long? With the new way of things, they’re getting more unpredictable.
I know we aren’t as prepared as we should be, but if we don’t go soon…
” He lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t stay and watch them torture you to keep the others in line.
I hate that I can’t help you.” His voice cracks.
“We’re going to get away from here. I swear to you. ”
“I know we will, but not tonight.”
“In a few days, then. We have enough money for gas and food. We’ll worry about the rest once we’re far away.
The new members brought quite a few vehicles with them.
None of them are being used. I’m supposed to clean them up, tune them up, and get some of them ready to sell.
I’ll stash the keys to one with our money tomorrow.
When we go back to work, I’ll hide the truck like I did tonight and we’ll go. By this weekend, we’ll be free.”
The thought sends my heart racing. For so long I’ve forgotten what hope feels like. “Okay. I’ll be ready.”
“Tonight I’m staying with you. If someone comes to check, they won’t see me under here.”
“No, Troy.” It’s hard to tell him to go when the sound of his voice makes things better. “It’s cold. There’s no reason for you to suffer too.”
“Being with you is the opposite of suffering. I’d walk through the hottest parts of hell barefooted and the coldest parts soaking wet to be with you.”