Chapter 15
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
The past two weeks have crawled by, and each hour feels longer than the last without Troy.
I spend my days working in the kitchen and my nights alone with the radio for company.
I’m trying to keep my spirits up. Our escape has been delayed, that’s all.
Soon, he’ll return and we’ll leave this place forever.
I’m walking home right after the sun sets when I see Governor Nolan going into Jane’s place, and a smile leaps to my face. They’re back! I jog the rest of the way to my trailer. I’m sure Troy will come to see me tonight, even if we aren’t assigned to work again yet.
I head straight for the shower to get cleaned up. Twenty minutes later, I’m dressed in the jeans that Troy said he loves on me and staring out the window. Two hours later, I’m still there, my hope deflating. Can he not get away tonight? Do they have him working on something here?
Once two more hours pass, I know he isn’t coming, but there’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep. It’s a stupid risk, considering Governor James caught me last time, but I sneak over to Troy’s trailer. It’s dark inside and the door is still unlocked.
Nothing has changed since the last time I was here. His bed looks the same, unmade but unslept in. The glass of water he left on the coffee table sits in the same spot. He hasn’t been here.
Nolan left with him and Steward Joshua, all in the same vehicle, so surely they returned together, right? I need to talk to Jane.
It’s past midnight when I hide behind a tree to watch for Jane to come out for her usual late night cigarette.
Instead, Governor Nolan steps out. With my heart pounding in my ears, I hold my breath and pray that the shadows and tree trunk conceal me.
It isn’t Jane who appears with him, but his new wife, Tara.
I forgot she’s living there too. Does he just hop from one room to the other for sex? Or choose between them? Poor Jane. I know Governor Nolan is a monster, but I also know she loves him and I can’t imagine watching Troy leave my bed to go to another woman’s.
Governor Nolan says something to her and she goes back inside, turning off the porch light. He doesn’t look my way, only walks back to the governors’ house. After another twenty minutes, I’m finished waiting.
There’s no one near as I creep around to the back window that I know is Jane’s room. Thankfully, it’s open. It’s dark inside, so I can’t see anyone, but I lightly tap the windowsill and whisper her name.
“Sybil?” she replies, barely audible.
“Come outside.”
“Just a second.”
I wait at the side of her trailer, peeking around to watch her front deck. When she steps out, I show myself, and she waves me over. “It’s okay. Everyone’s asleep. What’s wrong?”
“Governor Nolan is back but I can’t find Troy.”
She shakes her head, her lips pressing together as she lights a cigarette. “He came back alone.”
“What? Why? Where are they?”
She takes a long drag and blows the smoke upward. “I don’t know. I saw Nolan return earlier, and he was alone in the truck.”
I sit heavily on her bottom step, trying to think. “You can’t ask him,” I murmur, realizing before I can even make the request.
Jane takes a seat beside me. “He wouldn’t tell me anything anyway, you know that.
He probably left them somewhere to do a job.
I’m sure Troy will be back soon, but Sybil.
” She squeezes my shoulder, and I stare her in the eye.
“You can’t be out looking for him like this or asking questions.
Do you want to be stuck in the reflection hall when he gets back? Or worse?”
She’s right. “No.” I scrub a tear off my cheek. “You’re right. I’m being stupid.”
“It’s what love does to us. I tried to warn you.”
“I know.”
A baby begins to cry, and she puts out her cigarette, leaping to her feet. “You need to go. Be careful. They have lots of women here now.”
She doesn’t need to finish her warning. There are plenty of women here for them to abuse or force into servitude. They don’t need me. Maybe she knows about Georgia too, lying out there in an unmarked grave.
I plod back to my trailer and crawl into bed. I didn’t get caught but I don’t have any answers. All I can do is wait and believe the message that he left me in the songs. They’ll never tear us apart.
If the first two weeks crawled by, the next four drag me along by my hair.
I watch the last of the leaves die and the first snow flurries begin.
The weather turns as gray and bleak as my thoughts.
How long until I have to accept that he may not be coming back?
Governor Nolan could’ve decided to get rid of him and Steward Joshua for some reason.
One night when my worst fear won’t let me sleep, I spend hours wandering over the farm, looking for any freshly dug ground that could be a grave. It’s stupid, I know, but the more my hope fades, the more risks I take. And one question keeps me up at night.
How long do I wait before I run without him?
He wanted me to wait for him, but if it becomes clear he isn’t returning, I don’t think he’d want me to stay here.
He prepared me to get away. He taught me to drive and showed me where the money is hidden.
I just can’t do it, not yet. Not when he would never leave me if he had a choice.
It’s past dinnertime and I’m doing the never-ending pile of dishes when Matron Ruth enters with Matron Kelly, one of the new members. They walk past me and round the corner to the prep area of the kitchen where they’re out of sight, but within earshot.
“Thank you for setting aside that pudding. It’s Joshua’s favorite,” Matron Kelly says.
At the mention of his name, I stop what I’m doing to listen as Matron Ruth replies. “I was happy to. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. You must be eager to see him.”
“I am! It’s been six weeks, the longest he’s been away from me since he was born. I know he’s eighteen now and a steward, but…”
“We never stop seeing them as our little boys,” Matron Ruth says, fondly.
“Keeper needed him for an important job, so I’m not complaining.” As if any of us would dare to complain. “He’s a real hard-working man, my Joshua, but he’ll be home tonight and I can’t wait.”
I’m too busy tripling my speed to get the last of the dishes finished to listen to the rest of the conversation. I finish in record time and rush back to my trailer.
Troy’s coming home.
It feels like all I’ve done since I was twelve years old is wait.
Wait to grow up, to find a way out of here.
Wait for some kind of hope to show itself.
Now, I wait again, fighting the urge to go and search for Troy as the hours pass.
If he isn’t with Joshua, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I can’t take much more.
I don’t bother going to bed, even as the clock approaches midnight.
Instead, I sit on the couch with a blanket and try to read, but the words keep blurring.
I’ve been too overworked and afraid, my emotions bubble at the surface.
I toss the book aside with a huff and lay my head back, entering a familiar daydream where Troy and I are on a tropical beach without a care in the world.
Sun warms my skin and my toes are buried in the cool sand. Troy rubs sunblock on my back and drops a kiss on my shoulder. Everything is perfect.
“Sybil. Sweetheart.” A soft hand brushes my cheek, and I drag my eyes open.
Troy! I dozed off, but he’s no dream. He’s here, right in front of me.
The knot of grief that’s been sitting in my chest for six weeks shatters, and I leap up, throwing myself into his arms with a sob.
“I thought they might’ve killed you. That they found the missing money and knew…
” The panicked words pour out of me as I clutch at him.
“Shh, it’s okay. I’m okay. They don’t know anything.” He cups my face in his hands. “It was a work detail with one of their drug suppliers. I only had a few hours notice that I was leaving and there was no way to talk to you. I’m sorry I couldn’t leave you a note, but if anyone else saw it…”
“So, you made the tape. I got your message. I waited for you.”
He plants a passionate kiss on my lips. “I thought about you constantly. Are you okay? Did anything happen while I was gone?”
“No, they had me working in the kitchen. I’ve been fine. What about you?” I ask, pulling back to get a better look at him. “You’ve lost weight.” He’s not bony but he’s definitely thinner.
“It was a lot of work but I’m good.” He hugs me tight. “I managed to grab some money too. Tomorrow, I’ll check out the vehicle situation, make sure the car is still there, and we can go tomorrow night.”
My body feels as light as air. We’re going to be alright.
He pulls out a wad of money and starts dividing it in half.
“I shouldn’t keep this on me though. When they count the money we brought back, they’ll know it’s short.
Steward Joshua will likely be their first suspect or another of the new guys who were with us, but there’s no reason to risk it.
I’ll stash it in the woods before I go home. ”
Nodding, I grab my shoes. “I’ll go with you.” I just got him back and I don’t want him out of my sight.
“Put a dark sweatshirt on,” he says, kissing my temple.
It’s freezing outside but I don’t feel it. We’re careful, but it’s after midnight and I’m not too worried about getting caught. I’ve gotten away with sneaking around at night a few times now. Still, we stay quiet and keep a close watch as we enter the woods and hike to one of the hiding places.
The old wooden fence post is the farthest away. Troy pops the top of it off, pulls out a plastic bag, adds the roll of money, and puts it back quickly before we go to the tree.
The gnarled red oak just inside the forest is our next stop.
It has a hole under one of the surface roots, not too noticeable but big enough to get your hand inside.
A smaller plastic bag is hidden there with a lesser amount of money, our backup stash.
He adds to it, tucks it away, then grins at me.
He needs to go home, but I wrap my arms around him again, laying my head on his shoulder. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”
“I’ve missed you so much,” he says, before his lips land on mine.
His hands tangle in my hair as his tongue parts my lips.
The taste of him crashes over me, destroying the paralyzing fear that’s gripped me for weeks.
I wrap my arms around his neck, and he puts my back against the tree.
The weight of his body pinning mine is as comforting as it is arousing.
He’s here, flesh and bone. I haven’t lost him.
He groans into my mouth, a low, desperate sound that shudders through him, then breaks away. His hands are planted on either side of me, caging me in as he breathes hard and tries to get control. Before he can speak, I run my hand down between his legs to feel how hard he is.
A blinding beam of light cuts through the darkness, shining right in my eyes, and I yank my hand back.
“Don’t let us interrupt,” a deep voice says, satisfaction dripping from the words.
Terror pierces me, and Troy spins around to block my body with his. The light lowers to reveal Governor Thomas standing beside Governor Nolan. This is it. We’re caught. After everything we’ve been through, we get caught because we stupidly couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
Governor Nolan points his flashlight at me. “What are you doing out here, Sinful? Living up to your name?”
I’ve got nothing. Fear dries my mouth and glues my lips together. Whatever I say could hurt us both.
Troy speaks up and I barely recognize his voice, it’s so full of disdain. “I wasn’t going to fuck her. Just make her jerk me off.” He shrugs at Governor Thomas. “She’s only a servant and I’m a steward. You said she has to obey me, Dad.”
The governors glance at each other and Governor Thomas starts chuckling. “And you had to bring her out here?”
“Would you want someone to see Sinful jerking you off?” Troy asks, rubbing a hand over his face as if he’s embarrassed.
“He’s done worse,” Governor Nolan taunts, and they both laugh.
Governor Thomas looks past Troy to me. “Is she any good at it, at least?”
“Fuck no, but it’s better than my own hand.”
“You have to turn your hand around, so it feels like someone else is doing it,” Governor Nolan says, and the whole atmosphere shifts as the three of them laugh together.
Governor Thomas looks at me. “Do you like the new duties my son has given you?”
I don’t know what to do or say. My usual answer would be yes because I can’t ever complain, but I suspect that isn’t what he wants to hear this time. “No, Governor,” I whisper.
He steps up to me, his whiskey breath nearly making me gag. “Well, that’s too fucking bad, isn’t it?”
My heart thumps and my legs feel weak as he drags his gaze over me. Finally, he steps back, and I suck in a breath of fresh air.
“Shove it down her throat next time since she thinks she’s too good for a hand job,” he tells Troy, then slaps him on the back. “Come on, you’re finally acting like a man. Let’s go do a shot.”
“Fuck yeah,” Troy replies.
“Go home, whore. Your services aren’t needed,” Governor Nolan calls as they walk away, laughing together.
Troy doesn’t even glance back, but I don’t blame him. He isn’t the reason for the sick feeling in my stomach as I hurry through the dark night to my trailer. He knew what to do, how to play them and save us from punishment.
As long as it isn’t consensual, sex with me doesn’t break their rules. That’s what it comes down to. As long as he’s hurting or forcing a woman, then he’s a real man.
Tears stream down my face as I crawl into bed. Just one more night in this horrible place and we’ll be free. Just one more night.