Chapter 22
JONAH
Even though it was the formal dining room, it had always had a warm and welcoming feel to it.
Especially in winter, when the big fireplace in the corner was lit and stoked high, the flames sending warmth into every nook and cranny, driving the cold from the snow outside away.
The long wooden table was beautifully laid with tasteful linen and a pine and candle centerpiece, and the large portraits on the wall of my grandparents watched over proceedings as they always did.
The room was cozy. The atmosphere, thanks to my mother, was not.
The others were as friendly as usual. Anna hugged Mae and asked about her week. She thanked her for everything she was doing for our father, marveling at his progress in such a short period of time.
‘He’ll be back to his normal self in no time,’ she declared.
Mae smiled. ‘That’s the plan.’
There was a lobster bisque for starters, and for main course, roasted lamb, garlic mashed potatoes, sautéed beans in butter and herbs, honey-glazed carrots.
The food was, as always, delicious. But I couldn’t relax and enjoy it because I knew my mother too well.
Sure enough, after the main course was cleared away and before dessert was brought out, she started.
‘Jessica, dear, remember how you and Jonah used to come for dinner every Sunday when you were together?’
Jessica nodded and smiled at me, with a nostalgic expression that hinted at shared memories. She was seated directly across the table, guided there at the beginning of the meal by my mother. ‘Of course. Highlight of my week. Jonah and I both looked forward to it.’
‘Speak for yourself,’ I muttered.
‘Do you know, he’s only stayed for a full meal a handful of times since the two of you broke up,’ my mother continued. ‘Perhaps it was the memories of being here with you that made it too difficult for him to be here.’
That was a reach, even for her. I gave her a hard stare. ‘It has nothing to do with Jessica.’
‘I always hoped you two would get married,’ she continued, ignoring me. ‘I know Jessica’s mother shared the same wish. Childhood sweethearts. We thought it would be wonderful to merge the two families.’
I heard Mae suck in a sharp little breath, no doubt shocked at my mother’s audacity. Unfortunately, it no longer shocked me at all.
‘Eleanor,’ my father said, chiding her gently. ‘That’s enough.’
‘This conversation is inappropriate and disrespectful to Mae,’ I told her, my voice tight.
Eleanor gave Mae a startled look, as if she’d just remembered she was there. ‘I don’t see how.’
‘She is here as my date,’ I reminded her. ‘And you’re banging on about my ex-girlfriend.’
Eleanor waved a hand dismissively. ‘Nonsense. Mae is a grown woman. I’m sure she isn’t threatened by a little reminiscing. You and Jessica have been friends for a long time. You share a long, beautiful history. That will never change.’
‘We broke up,’ I remind her. ‘So, change the subject, or we’re leaving.’
I felt Mae’s hand on my thigh underneath the table.
‘It’s OK,’ she murmured quietly so that only I could hear.
‘How are preparations going for this year’s winter formal, Gray?’ Myles asked loudly. ‘Everything on track?’
Dad sighed from his seat at the top of the table. ‘I hope so,’ he said slowly. ‘It’s hard, not being there to make sure everything is getting done that needs to be done.’
‘Don’t start asking him about work, please,’ Mom scolded. ‘I have enough trouble trying to stop him from worrying about the hotel as it is. Of course, I wouldn’t have to worry, if Jonah would step up and fill in, at least while Gray recovers.’
I saw Anna nudge Myles gently with her shoulder and say something quietly. He cleared his throat.
‘I’m more than happy to help out with planning the formal, if you need a hand,’ he said. ‘Work is quiet at the moment. I have a lot of leave owing. If you need me to step in at the hotel and assist, I’m more than happy to do that.’
‘That’s kind of you to offer, Myles,’ Mom said, not giving Dad a chance to answer. ‘But you have your own business to run. Anna tells me there’s been talk of bringing you on as a managing partner and owner of the firm, now that Dennis Morris is looking to retire.’
Myles was a senior partner at the accountant’s firm in town, Morris and Associates. He’d started there as a junior, not long after marrying Anna, and worked his way up.
‘There’s been talk of it, yes,’ Myles agreed. ‘I’m not sure it’s what I want, though.’
Eleanor frowned. ‘Of course it’s what you want. It’s the next, logical step in your career.’
Myles opened his mouth to reply but she cut him off, turning to Jessica again.
‘Will you be attending the formal this year, Jessica?’
Jessica flicked a smile at Jonah before answering. ‘Hopefully. If someone asks me.’
‘I’m sure that won’t take long, once word gets out that you’re back in town,’ Eleanor said.
Then she clapped her hands together as if a thought had just occurred to her.
‘You and Jonah should go together. For old times’ sakes.
Remember the formal the year you both turned eighteen?
That powder-blue dress you wore, Jessica.
And Jonah, so handsome in your suit. The envy of the town, you were.
You two really do make the most beautiful couple.
Imagine the children you would have had. ’
David choked on his water. Sophie started putting him on the back.
‘Jesus Christ, Mom,’ I heard Anna mutter. ‘Subtle much?’
‘Eleanor, that’s enough,’ Gray warned, his tone indicating she had gone too far. As far as I was concerned, that ship had sailed five minutes ago.
Unbelievably, Jessica looked at me and raised her shoulders. ‘I’m keen if you are? It could be nice to go together to the formal again.’
I pushed my chair back with a scrape and stood up, holding a hand out to Mae. ‘We’re leaving.’
‘Here we go,’ David said, lifting his wine glass and taking a large swig.
‘Hey, at least we made it to dessert this time,’ Anna replied. ‘Haven’t made it that far in a while. Who had twenty dollars on dessert? Was it you, Sophie?’
‘I had entrée,’ Myles said mournfully. ‘So, I’m out.’
‘Sit down, Jonah,’ my mother said in clipped tones. ‘You’re being rude. I’m sorry, Jessica. He hasn’t been himself since the two of you broke up.’
‘That’s bullshit,’ I retorted. ‘Look, I’m sorry too, Jessica, that my mother has dragged you here tonight as part of her weird little games.
But you know as well as I do that we were lucky to last as long as we did.
You’re a wonderful woman, and I’m sure you’ll find someone who can offer you the love that you deserve.
But it’s not me.’ I turned a fierce look on my mother.
‘And if you can’t respect that, then I don’t need to stay here.
’ I looked down at Mae. ‘Are you ready to go?’
She took my hand and stood up, placing her napkin gracefully down on the table next to her glass. ‘Thank you for a lovely evening.’
Mom ignored her. ‘You’re being dramatic, Jonah.’
‘Maybe, but I’m not going to let you disrespect either of us any longer.’
I led Mae out of the dining room, pausing to lay a hand on Dad’s shoulder on the way out. ‘I’ll see you soon.’
He nodded. He might not have said much all night, but his look of resignation told me he wasn’t surprised at the direction the evening had taken.
Neither Mae nor I spoke as we left the house, the cold slapping us in the face in a way that felt like it was cleansing away the feeling of distaste the evening had left us with.
I started the truck, headlights warm amber in the darkness, and drove back towards town, my hands clenching the steering wheel, knuckles white, jaw clenched.
‘Are you OK?’ Mae asked softly, after a few minutes.
‘It’s me who should be asking you that,’ I said harshly. ‘I’m so sorry. I should never have taken you there.’
She made a noise. ‘Yeah, I don’t exactly fit in your world.’
I took my eyes off the road for a second to gape at her. ‘Are you kidding? That’s not what I meant.’
‘It’s fine, Jonah.’
‘No, it’s not. I’m not going to let my mother or anyone treat you the way she just did.
Going on about Jessica and the past in front of you while my family just sit idly by and let her.
I love my father and my siblings, but they enable her with their passiveness, and it’s driving a wedge between us.
’ I sighed. ‘They joke about how I hardly ever stay the whole evening, but they’ve never had to deal with what I have.
The relentless pressure to conform into the life she wants me to live.
They’ve had the freedom to seek out their own paths, whereas I, by the terrible misfortune of being born first, bear the brunt of her attention. ’
‘I think your mother is just struggling to accept that she’s not going to get the fairy-tale ending for you two that she obviously wanted.’
‘I don’t care. It was low, even for her.’
‘And you told her that. I just hate that I caused trouble between you two.’
I laughed without mirth. ‘My mother and I have been butting heads since long before you came along, believe me. None of tonight was your fault.’
‘It might make looking after Gray a bit awkward,’ she fretted. ‘Maybe I should ask for someone else to be assigned to his care.’
‘Please don’t do that. Dad really likes you.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Please, Mae. He shouldn’t miss out on your kindness and expertise because of my mother.’
‘OK. I won’t decide now. I’ll see how it is on my next visit.’
‘Thanks.’ I felt the tension of the evening start to lift off my shoulders with every mile I put between my mother and I.
‘What now?’ Mae asked. ‘The night is still pretty young. Should we go to the bar for a drink or are you too tired from your fishing trip?’
I flashed her a smile. ‘I had an afternoon nap, so I’m good for another few hours at least. Besides, even if I was falling asleep, I’m not ready to say goodnight to you just yet. Unless you’re sick of me already?’
‘I’ve got a better idea than the bar,’ she said. ‘Can you take me home instead?’