Chapter 23
MAE
The cottage was small, sure, but it looked even smaller with Jonah inside. He kicked off his boots at the door and sat on the small two-seater couch in the little living area, looking huge, like a giant with his knees folded up around his ears.
‘Comfortable?’ I asked from over by the oven.
He adjusted his body. ‘Very. Why? Don’t I look it?’
I got a pot out of the cupboard. ‘Not particularly.’
‘I’m more comfortable here than I’ve ever been at my mother’s house, put it that way. What are you making over there?’
‘I thought I would make us a decadent hot chocolate. The old-fashioned way.’
‘Old-fashioned as opposed to?’
‘A sachet from a box.’
‘Oh right.’
‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just prefer it this way.’
He got up and in three steps was at the door. ‘Did I see a steel fire pit outside the other day?’
‘Yeah, there’s one out by the beach with a couple of Adirondack chairs. Why?’
‘I was thinking hot chocolate by the fire pit underneath the stars? Keen?’
It sounded romantic. ‘Definitely keen.’
‘Great. I’ll get the fire going while you make the hot chocolate.’
I heated milk slowly in the saucepan, adding cocoa powder, a pinch each of sugar and salt, a Hershey’s milk chocolate bar and some vanilla extract, stirring it slowly until the chocolate melted and it all blended together nicely.
At one point, Jonah came back inside. ‘Blankets?’ he asked.
I pointed towards a built-in linen closet next to the wardrobe. ‘In there.’
‘Perfect.’
He helped himself to a couple of warm, navy-colored plush blankets and disappeared outside again.
When I was satisfied with the temperature of the hot chocolate, I carefully poured it into two large stone mugs and placed them on a white wooden tray.
Inside the welcome basket in the pantry that the real estate agent had left for me, I found a bag of pink and white marshmallows and a packet of skewers, which I soaked underneath the tap for a few minutes before adding them to the tray.
Happy with it, I lifted the tray and headed outside to join Jonah.
‘Turn the porch light off on your way out,’ he called. ‘If you can do it without dropping that tray.’
‘I can massage a man’s heart in his open chest to keep him alive, I think I can manage to carry a tray and turn off a light.’ I flicked the switch. ‘See? Oh!’
Someone, a previous tenant probably, had hung solar fairy lights all around the outside of the cottage roof. In the darkness they twinkled like little stars.
‘I keep forgetting you were an ER nurse,’ he mused, as I crossed the lawn to where he was standing over the fire pit, stoking the flames with a piece of metal. ‘You must have seen some awful things.’
I put the tray down on the small outdoor table between the chairs. ‘I have. I’ve seen some pretty cool things too, though, to balance it out. There’s no feeling like watching a baby being born into the world. Endless opportunities and possibilities ahead of them.’
‘Do you… have you ever…’ He coughed. ‘You know.’
I passed him a mug of hot chocolate and sat in one of the chairs, pulling the blanket he had draped on the side of it over my knees. ‘Wanted kids?’
He nodded, taking a seat on the other chair and picking up his own mug.
‘Yeah. I’d love a family one day. Just haven’t met the right guy yet.’
‘Your ex-boyfriend, he wasn’t the right guy?’
‘There was a time when I thought he was,’ I admitted. ‘But I can look back now, with a bit of time between us, and see that he never felt the same way for me as I did for him. We were at totally different stages in life. Wanted different things.’
‘Like?’
I screwed up my face. ‘Monogamy, for one.’
In the light of the fire I saw his jaw clench. ‘He cheated on you?’
‘He did. Once. Well, at least once that I know of. It was in the early days of our relationship though, so I forgave him when he confessed. It wasn’t easy, because I had to see her almost every day.’
I watched as the penny dropped. ‘She worked at the hospital too?’
I nodded. ‘Yeah. Freya. A nurse. My ex, Nick, worked at the hospital too. He was a cardiothoracic surgeon.’
‘He was also a jerk, by the sounds of it.’
‘Maybe.’ I took a sip of my drink.
‘Maybe? Mae, he cheated on you, and broke up with you. You’re allowed to hate him for that.’
‘Do you hate Jessica?’
He frowned. ‘What? No. She never cheated on me though. And I broke up with her.’
‘Do you think she hates you for that?’
He stared at the fire for a while thoughtfully. ‘No. She doesn’t.’
‘I don’t hate Nick either. He fell out of love with me.
It hurt, yes. But that’s heartbreak for you.
We all experience it at some point or another.
I can’t be mad at him for that. At least he was honest enough to tell me, instead of carrying on until we were even deeper involved. That would have been worse.’
‘Yeah I guess it would have. I can still hate him though, right?’
‘How can you hate someone you don’t know?’
‘That’s a good point. And I suppose I should be thanking him anyway. If he hadn’t broken up with you, you might never have moved here, and we wouldn’t be sitting here together on this beautiful night.’
I leaned my head against the back of the chair and stared up at the night sky.
I was still getting used to the stars here, away from the light pollution of Chicago.
I’d never known so many stars existed until I’d moved here.
It had become a bit of a fascination for me, and I’d even ordered a book online about the various constellations so I could learn to pick them out.
‘It is beautiful isn’t it,’ I agreed. ‘I don’t remember the last time I ever just stopped and looked up at it, back in the city.
I was either at work, or home, or transiting between the two.
Moments like this…’ I gestured towards the fire and him ‘…only existed in movies. I didn’t think people actually did stuff like this. ’
‘This? This is nothing. Typical Friday night around here.’
‘And that’s why I moved here. For moments like these.
Moments you locals probably take for granted.
It’s such a cliché, but I wanted a slower pace of life.
I wanted to enjoy the simple pleasures, not spend all my time rushing between two places.
Living to work, not working to live. I was making a difference, sure, but at what cost?
I didn’t want to get to the end of my life and regret my choices.
Not all of them, anyway. Not the things that were in my power to change. ’
‘I can understand that.’
‘It’s like that trip you took me on the other day, to the frozen waterfall. I would never have seen that if I hadn’t moved here, and that would have been tragic.’
‘Which is why I want to offer excursions to the hotel guests. Show them things that they might otherwise not have seen.’
I listened to the sounds of the night. The waves gently lapping against the frozen shore. The pine trees creaking in the cold, their branches bending underneath the weight of snow.
‘Have you got any other sights that I should see?’ I asked.
‘Are you kidding? Yeah. I’d be happy to take you to more places, if you’re keen to see them.’
‘I’d love that.’
‘I guess I’ll start doing some planning then. Saturday? Bright and early?’
‘Sure, why not. Sleep-ins are overrated anyway.’
He grinned and put down his mug, then picked up a skewer off the tray. I watched as he expertly threaded a few marshmallows onto it, like a sweet kebab. When he was finished he passed it over to me, then repeated the process.
‘Ever toasted marshmallows over an open fire before, city girl?’ he teased. ‘Or is that going to be another new experience.’
‘I have, actually,’ I informed him. ‘You’re looking at a junior Girl Scout, four years running.’
‘You were a Girl Scout?’
‘You don’t believe me?’
‘The night we met you were relying on your phone for directions. As a four-year seasoned Girl Scout, shouldn’t you be able to find your way by the layout of the stars and direction of the wind or something like that?’
I laughed. ‘I can tie a pretty decent clove hitch knot and identify twenty-three species of birds, but no, I have zero sense of direction. Personally, I think that’s something you’re either born with or you’re not.’
He smiled, getting to his feet and holding out his hand to help me up. ‘Twenty-three different kinds of birds? I’m impressed.’
‘Don’t be. There’s something like two thousand species in North America alone. Twenty-three is a tiny drop in the bucket.’
‘It’s probably sixteen more than I could identify.’
‘Girl Scouts is actually what made me decide I wanted to be a nurse,’ I told him. ‘We had to do first-aid badges. I remember watching this paramedic who came to teach us basic skills and thinking, I want to do that. I want to help people.’
‘Thank God for the Girl Scouts then.’
I held my skewer over a small flame, turning it slowly. ‘What about you? Former Boy Scout?’
‘Nah, that never appealed to me. I spent most of my time outside in nature anyway, exploring the island.’ He cleared his throat. ‘This might come as a surprise to you, but I have some issues with authority.’
‘Some issues?’
‘Yeah. I don’t like being told what to do.’
I mock-gaped at him. ‘No. Seriously? I’d never had guessed.’
‘Why do I sense you’re being sarcastic.’
‘Because I’m not exactly being subtle.’
‘Rude.’ He lifted his marshmallow skewer to his mouth and gently blew on it. ‘I just prefer to do things my own way in my own time.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with that.’
He pulled a face. ‘Tell that to my parents, or my teachers.’
‘I would, but your mother is kind of terrifying.’
‘She wasn’t always like that, you know. You’ll probably find this hard to believe, but when we were kids she was even kind of fun.’
‘You’re right. I do find that hard to believe.’
He chuckled. ‘It was like the older she got, the more obsessed she became with keeping up appearances. What people think is important to her. Whereas I couldn’t give a stuff.
’ He stared at me, his gaze curious. ‘I think that’s why you intrigue me so much.
You’re the first woman I’ve met who doesn’t seem to worry about all the superficial stuff. ’
I swallowed hard, feeling my heart quicken. ‘Is that your way of saying I look a mess half the time?’
It was a feeble attempt at a joke, but he didn’t laugh or take the bait. Instead he took a step closer. ‘On the contrary,’ he said. ‘You’re beautiful, even when you’re wearing a reindeer onesie.’
‘I don’t think you know me well enough to make broad, sweeping assumptions,’ I said, wary that his expectations might not match the reality. ‘I like getting glammed up on occasion as much as the next woman.’
‘Do you care what label is sewn into the back of your dress?’
‘No,’ I admitted. ‘That doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, I buy a lot of clothes from thrift stores. Trying to do my bit for the planet. Sustainability and all that.’
‘Jessica wouldn’t be caught dead in anything secondhand,’ he said bitterly. ‘Or last season, for that matter.’
‘I’m sure there are plenty of good things about her too though. You wouldn’t have been friends with her for as long as you have, otherwise.’
He shrugged. ‘It’s like with my mother. She was normal when we were younger.
It’s only as she grew up that things like fashion labels, driving the latest model car, and holidaying somewhere fashionable became important to her.
It was all about being seen wearing the right things, at the right places and standing next to the right people.
My surname made me the right person, but in the end, I felt like that was all I was to her.
I got frustrated. Wanted someone who would be happy spending Friday nights on the beach, drinking beer around a bonfire and listening to music. ’
‘That sounds like bliss to me.’
‘I know,’ he said quietly. ‘That’s why I think I’m falling for you.’