Chapter 61
RIZZOLO BOOKSTORE, brOADWAY
Gabriella checked her watch again. She had twenty minutes before the event began and two floors below them she could hear people.
Her readers. They would be excited, looking forward to listening to her talk, to purchasing the limited-edition green copy maybe, to receiving a festive money-off coupon for a fragrance she didn’t even like.
Tonight she was going to blow the lid off of everything she had created.
Yet none of what she had so far achieved seemed as important as the need to unpick it all.
‘Are you nervous?’ Phoebe asked.
Gabriella looked at her. Her niece was tightening up the plait she had knotted her hair into. ‘I feel like I should be asking you that question.’
‘Well, that would be the only one you get to ask me. I’m the one asking all the others.’
Gabriella smiled and then she stepped closer to her, reaching for her hand. ‘Are you sure you want to do this, Phoebe?’
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’
‘You know what it’s going to mean? Probably.’
‘Yes,’ Phoebe said. ‘It means that for a while you probably won’t have a job.
And that Grandmama will be disappointed with you and probably with me too.
’ She sighed. ‘It means that we will probably have to move out of the apartment in Bettersea because we won’t be able to afford the bills but, if I’m honest, I know that Grandmama bought that place because she has control issues and she didn’t want us living in something like the little house squished between the cemetery and the builders’ merchants.
But I quite liked that house. It felt cosy and…
more like us.’ She sighed. ‘And I also know that people are going to judge you for not being 100 per cent honest about Mum from the beginning but, after that period of time is over, they are going to realise that you did it because you were full of grief and that Zero Fucks Given isn’t entirely without merit and they will support whatever you decide to do next.
And whatever you decide to do next will be even better.
’ She took a breath and smiled at Gabriella.
‘But it probably also means that we get to talk about Mum more and be truthful to everyone, and ourselves, about what she was really like. And, I think then, we probably might have a chance to find our own happiness.’
It was a lot. But as well as sadness veiling her heart at Phoebe’s words, there was also a sense of intense hope that this could be a new beginning for them.
‘Phoebe,’ Gabriella said.
‘Yes.’
‘I would really like to give you a hug,’ she said softly, tentatively. ‘If you think that would be OK.’
‘OK,’ Phoebe answered. ‘But be careful not to pull out my hair.’
Before Phoebe could take the ‘OK’ back or change her mind, Gabriella put her arms around her niece, pulled her close and held on tight, savouring every second of the connection and the love between them. Until Phoebe eventually let go.
‘Gabriella,’ Phoebe asked. ‘After the event is over. Can we do something really fun?’
‘Burn all the green limited-edition copies?’
‘No.’
‘Break into the department store and smash all the perfume bottles?’
‘No,’ Phoebe said. ‘Can we go ice skating?’
Gabriella didn’t have to think long and hard about it. It sounded like a great idea. ‘Absolutely we can.’
Phoebe smiled and then the sound of rushing feet made them both look to the stairway. Luca. And then, someone else.
‘Hey, I am sorry I am so late,’ he said, rushing forward, snowflakes on the shoulders of his coat, garment bag in his hands. ‘Hey, Phoebe. How are your eyes?’
‘Hello, Luca,’ Phoebe answered. ‘OK, thank you. I can see you and… your friend, very clearly.’
‘Hello,’ the woman greeted, waving a hand. She was dressed in dungarees covered in a graffiti-type pattern under a thick bomber jacket.
‘Oh, so, there’s someone I want you to meet. Gabriella, Phoebe, this is Steffi. My sister.’
‘Hey, again,’ Steffi answered, giving another wave.
‘Steffi, this is Gabriella and Phoebe Felix.’
‘It’s really nice to meet you,’ Gabriella said, stepping towards Steffi and offering her her hand.
‘Wow, so British, I love it. It’s good to meet you too,’ Steffi said, shaking her hand. ‘And you,’ she said, looking to Phoebe, ‘have the coolest dress ever. Did my brother style that?’
Phoebe pliéd and then answered. ‘Well, he did give me the dress, but the necklace is mine.’ She held the golden ‘L’ between her fingers. ‘It’s like my mum’s.’
Gabriella smiled and then she suddenly realised how little time they had left before they had to be on stage. She took the garment bag from Luca. ‘I’d better put this on and get ready.’
‘Sure,’ he answered. ‘So, where’s Cheyenne? I was expecting her to bite my head off the second I made it through the door.’
‘Oh,’ Phoebe said. ‘We had to lock her in the storeroom. But she has water and snacks so it’s more like a brief, yet necessary, staycation.’
Steffi laughed out loud, almost in some kind of solidarity of approval and then Luca looked to Gabriella as if he needed some kind of explanation. He did. Of many things but there just wasn’t time for more now.
‘Please don’t think about it. Just help me get dressed and I’ll tell you everything later.’
‘OK,’ he said. ‘Let’s get ready.’