Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter
Twenty-One
My back is screaming.
I haven’t slept more than a handful of hours in the last two days.
But I did it. I fucking did it.
When I pull up to Midnight Manor, my body is trembling from overusing vitality sigils to keep me awake on the road.
The moment I put the car in park and kill the ignition, exhaustion pulls at me like the undertow of a receding tide.
The promise of rest, of a proper bed, has my body ready to collapse.
Just a few more steps. I urge my tired limbs to keep going as I grab the bag of crystals from the passenger seat. Hang on a little longer.
The car door squeaks as it opens, and I make a mental note to finally trade in the ancient Camry once the bonus comes through and my business is stable again.
This thing is an embarrassment. Gravel crunches under my shoes, and I slam the door closed.
I leave my suitcase in the back. I still have clothes in the room upstairs.
For now, I just need the ghost-filled crystals.
I can come back for the suitcase later. After I’ve slept.
Once I feel like a human instead of a walking corpse.
I grip tight to the handrail and drag myself up the stairs to the front door.
I’m breathing heavy by the time I get there, and when the doorknob won’t turn under my fingers, I sag against the front door in defeat.
The lepidolite orbs are heavy in my left hand.
I just need to ring the doorbell. Just need to…
The door swings open, and I fall forward into the foyer.
Strong arms catch me before I smash my face on the floor. Smoke and salt and a cozy detergent scent that I recognize as Xander fill my senses moments before his voice.
“Oh my god, Pippa. What happened?” He takes the bag from my hand and wraps my arm over his shoulder, slamming the door shut with his foot.
“Lou! She’s back! Bring water!” Xander settles me in the nearest chair, and I find myself staring at the spirit board mounted on the wall. The black surface is empty.
Regret twists in my gut. I found the four new ghosts Sloane requires to invest in Midnight Manor, but I can’t undo what I’ve done. I can’t bring back the specific souls I banished.
You fixed it as best you could, I remind myself, but it’s a hollow sentiment. I shouldn’t have needed to fix it. I should have been careful. Should have—
“Oh, Pippa.”
Elle’s voice draws my attention as she emerges from the kitchen with a glass of water. She hurries forward as I lean right, settling my shoulder against Xander’s hip. Sitting upright is hard. Keeping my eyes open hurts.
“What happened?” Elle kneels beside me and presses the cold glass into my hands. “Drink something. You look ready to pass out.”
“Just tired,” I mumble, the glass shaking as I raise it to my lips. The cool water soothes my throat. When did it get this dry? After several swallows, I pass back the half-empty glass. “I did it, though. Four new ghosts.” I point at the bag Xander set at my feet.
Elle’s gaze shifts past me, up and up until she must be meeting Xander’s eye.
Nerves twist in my stomach. “I’m not too late, am I?” I pat my pockets, looking for my phone. “Please tell me it’s only Wednesday. I worked so hard to make it back before the inspection.”
“It is Wednesday,” Elle says, her fingers stilling my searching hands. She holds tight, like she doesn’t care that Xander might see, her expression caught between worried and chastising. “Have you slept at all since you left on Monday?”
“A couple hours,” I admit, heat flushing my face when her eyes widen with shock. “I had to, Ellie. I wasn’t going to screw this up for you. For either of you.” I turn my attention to Xander. “Sebastian is still coming tomorrow, right?”
Xander runs a hand over my hair, and I fight the urge to cringe. I desperately need a shower and a nap. “He is. But you shouldn’t have pushed yourself like this, Pip. You could have gotten hurt driving this exhausted. How are you awake right now?”
“Vitality sigils,” I admit, not meeting his gaze. Elle hasn’t released my hands, and I find myself sinking into the warmth of her touch.
“How many?” Xander’s voice comes out tight.
My eye lids flutter closed as I try to remember. “Six? Maybe seven?”
He curses under his breath. “You were practically comatose after finals junior year, and you only used the sigil three times that week. Come on.” Xander reaches beneath my knees and hauls me up to his chest. As he lifts me, Elle drops my hands.
“Lou, can you release the new ghosts and get them settled? I need a word with our wayward witch.”
“Same as the others?” Elle asks, picking up the bag. “Just touch the crystals with bare fingers?”
I nod, my head bobbing against Xander’s shoulder as he carries me toward the stairs.
“Can I bring you dinner later?”
“I—”
“You can try,” Xander says, cutting me off. “But I doubt she’ll be awake again until tomorrow.”
Elle offers a half-hearted wave as Xander carries me up the stairs and out of view. I glance up at Xander, his usually warm, open expression tense and serious. “Are you mad at me?”
The muscle in his jaw tenses, but he doesn’t say anything. He pushes open my bedroom door—the guest room door—and sets me on the mattress. The softness threatens to pull me into unconsciousness before I get a chance to shower. I force myself to sit up, bracing my hands behind me on the bed.
“Xander, please don’t be mad. I know I fucked up. I know I nearly ruined everything for you and Elle. But I said I would fix it, and I did.” A shuddering breath leaves my eyes burning with unshed tears. “Please don’t hate me.”
His rigid posture deflates, and he rakes a hand through his hair. “God, I fucking hate your parents.”
“What?” Confusion and pain tighten my throat. The first tear spills down my cheek, and I’m too exhausted to wipe it away.
The bed dips as he sits beside me. “I recognize this version of you, Pippa.” He wipes my tears away. “Those first few weeks after your parents threw you out, you worked yourself past the point of exhaustion to prove you weren’t a failure. To prove you had some shred of worth in this world.”
“I—”
“You’ve never ruined anything, Pippa. Not with your family, and not here, either.
Despite what your parents did to convince you otherwise, you are not a fuckup.
” He pulls me close, his embrace warm and stable, his love fierce.
“Lou and I have been so worried since you left. You ignored all our texts. Our calls. The manor didn’t feel right without you here. ”
His final words tighten my chest to the point of pain. This place isn’t mine. Even if I hadn’t needed to spend the last few days finding new ghosts to haunt the B&B, I was always moving out on Halloween. I was always meant to leave. This was never supposed to be permanent.
“I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I was…afraid,” I admit, my eyes fluttering shut as exhaustion tugs on the edges of my consciousness. “I couldn’t face you until I’d fixed things.”
“Which is why I hate your family,” he whispers as he tips his head against mine. “Pippa, you are my best friend. You don’t need to hurt yourself to earn my love. You already have it, no matter what.”
A feeling I can’t name—sharp like broken glass and shattered quartz—wedges itself between my ribs. “I didn’t hurt myself.”
“Using magic to override your body’s basic needs is a kind of hurt, Pip.” He slides off the bed and helps me get settled against the pillows. “Get some sleep. Lou and I will introduce the new ghosts to Laney.”
“But—”
Xander silences me with a stern look as he tucks the covers up to my chin. “I’ll have Lou leave you some water and a snack for when you wake up. Get some sleep.”
“Xan?” I ask, the heaviness of the blanket cradling me against the mattress.
“Yeah, Pip?” He pauses in the doorway.
“I love you.”
He smiles. “I love you, too.”
I’m asleep before the door clicks shut.
“She lives!”
Xander is leaning against the open bedroom door when I exit the attached bathroom fresh from a shower.
My body aches from overdosing on vitality sigils and living in my car, but after sleeping nearly twenty-four hours, I feel human again.
I’ve wrapped myself in my comfiest clothes—butter-soft leggings and my favorite hoodie.
They’ll serve as cozy armor to face my last day at Midnight Manor.
“There was never any real chance I’d die.” I finish twisting my wet hair into a braid. “How long until Sebastian gets here?”
“You do realize it’s nearly three in the afternoon, right?” Xander raises that single eyebrow, and it’s devilishly handsome despite the wry humor. “Sebastian stopped by hours ago.”
Tension sends a flare of pain across my back. “And?”
He answers with a smile and follows through with verbal confirmation. “And we’re good for tomorrow. Sloane’s retreat at Midnight Manor is back on.”
Relief nearly buckles my knees. As it is, I reach for the table to steady myself. “Thank god.”
“No.” Xander crosses the room in quick strides. “Thank Pippa.” He wraps me in a bone-crunching hug before settling his hands on my shoulders. “I wish you hadn’t pushed yourself so hard to do it, but I’m glad everything worked out. Lou and I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“Pippa?” Elle’s voice draws my attention, and I lean around Xander’s shoulder. She smiles when she sees me, but my brain short-circuits. She’s dressed in hip-hugging jeans with a green flannel button-down open over a gray scoop neck T-shirt.
Now that I’m not half asleep, seeing her reignites a desperate, aching want in my body.
I wish I could pull her hips flush against mine and kiss her until we’re both breathless.
I can’t, though. Neither of us has said anything to Xander, for one thing, and I’m leaving tomorrow.
We haven’t talked about what happens in November after I’ve moved out.
We haven’t talked about whether we’re an us at all.
Yet when she smiles at me, none of that matters. “It’s good to see you walking on your own again,” she teases.