3. Chapter 3
Jinny
W hen he closes the door and peals off, squealing his tires, my mouth is still half open.
In the pit of my stomach, I don’t know what to believe.
And as I glance back at the convention center, watching Axl stumble his way out the exit door, I bite my lip.
This crush that’s always loomed between me and Led is getting under my skin.
Why he never made a move on me is beyond me.
Why he isn’t making one on me now is clearer.
However, getting involved with someone I work with isn’t against the rules in my book.
Getting involved with someone who’s spineless, is.
Led was always the shy guy, and it seems that now he’s coming out of his shell a little.
Axl is more rugged. Freer, too, but he’s got more warts than Led ever did.
It’s like they’re opposites, and they both like me.
It’s almost intoxicating, but I know that Led will never go after me, and Axl is giving it a college try.
But as I watch him walk like a newborn deer as he comes out of the convention center, towards me, holding up a full bottle of wine that I’m guessing he pilfered from the bar, I know in my heart of hearts that this is not the man for me.
Not that I’m looking. Not that I’m into long-term relationships per se.
I mean, look at what happened to Bowie and Boston.
That was a complete train wreck. Sure, she’s married now, and she found Mister right, but hell, if I have to go through what she did to get there, I'm not in the least bit interested. It’s not like anyone’s lining up at my doorstep, either.
This is why I like the casual thing. I’ve never been in a relationship longer than a carton of milk takes to expire.
And I’m okay with that. What I’m not okay with, however, is playing these fucking games with men.
Axl looks too drunk to do anything fun with, so I pass on him.
He’s already had his fun, anyway, seeing as he got his picture taken by another rag.
That’s another thing that puts me off about him.
While Led is a wallflower, Axl is an in-your-face kinda guy, but it’s not for you, it’s for him.
Is there a door number three? Well, not tonight, anyway.
I go home to my empty house, and I consider calling up my fuck buddy, but I don’t.
I’m not in the mood. At least, not enough to invite someone over at one o’clock in the morning.
Sleep finally comes, and I run errands and catch up on household things the next day, and I don’t think about men, until I go into work Monday and run straight into Led in the hallway.
He acts aloof. Like he didn’t just admit something serious to me a couple of nights ago. “Are you ready to start working on budgets later this week?”
“Sure. I’ve got a meeting with Halen, Jagger and Rush later today to discuss forecasting and leads, and then I’m all set to meet with you. How’s nine tomorrow morning?”
He scratches his head. “I’ve got another meeting then. Are you able to meet with me after you meet with my brothers?”
After a slight hesitation, I answer. “Sure. It probably won’t end until six. Do you want me to get Helga to order us dinner?”
Then he shocks me. “How about we do this off site? Like, at a restaurant. I’ve been here since six and my head will be spinning by then.”
“Err...sure. Where?”
“Come see me after your meeting and we’ll take my car. We’ll discuss it then.”
My tone is almost curt. “Sounds good.”
Okay, I know that that wasn’t a proposition, since it’s to do with work.
But, Led has never suggested doing anything with me outside of his comfort zone.
I’m not really sure what that means. Discussing it with Bowie is out of the question, since I know that she’ll be all weird, because she knows how I am with men.
Or at least, she’ll dissuade me from over-analyzing on account of it being purely professional, which it is.
And just like she read my mind, my mother calls me.
“Mom. How’s it going?”
“Good. I just wanted to ask you if you’re interested in going to Cabo with me this winter.”
Mom and I just went on vacation together recently and we had a blast. She’s like a younger version of me.
Bowie will attest that she taught us how to give blow jobs and she introduced us to dirty movies and bought us our first condoms. Mom never grew up beyond the age of eighteen and I’m okay with that.
“Sure. Just tell me how much I owe you.” I change the subject.
“Mom, do you remember Led Lawson? Jagger’s brother? ”
“Isn’t he the boy that had the indelible crush on you in high school?”
Point for mom. She remembers everything. “Yeah, exactly.”
“And doesn’t he work with you now? Isn’t he the CFO of Lawson Enterprises?”
“Score for you, mom. Man, do you pay attention.”
“Honey, he’s a man, and a man that’s had a thing for my girl for years. Of course I pay attention. That’s my job.”
“Well, I don’t want to read too much into this, but we’ve got a meeting about budgeting and my future HR needs, and because neither of us are available until after hours, he suggested that we go to a restaurant for it.
” I haven’t told her about the exchange that Led and I had at Jagger’s wedding.
“He also, in not so many words, admitted to still crushing on me.”
“Was this as he asked you to dinner?”
“No, this was at the wedding.”
“The wedding that I wasn’t invited to.” Mom points out. “You know, I’m not opposed to meeting rich, handsome men, either.”
“Mom, I wasn’t in charge of the guest list. It was a surprise wedding. Can we focus here?”
“Well, I’ve known Bowie for years, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little put off by being excluded.”
“Mom, like I said, it was a surprise wedding, and it was a lot of business associates and mostly Jagger and Bowie’s family, which you are not.
Hell, I was only included because I’m working for Lawson Enterprises and I’m Bowie’s best friend.
I think you had to have dual purposes to be invited.
” I pause. “Anyway, do you think that I should just leave this be? Not read anything into it?”
Now, it’s her turn to pause. “Yeah. I wouldn’t hold your breath with that boy.”
“He’s not a boy anymore.”
“He’s not a man, either, if he can’t grow a pair and ask you out properly. He’s had enough opportunities.”
“Well, it’s complicated now. We work together.”
“So? Bowie and Jagger work together, too, and they’re married...evidently.”
“What do you think if I tested him. Like, flirt with him or do something to see if he has any moves?”
“I think you’re playing with fire there, Jinny, if you want the truth. You’ll push him away. Clearly, he isn’t ready, or he would have made a move already.”
“What if he’s waiting for me to make the move? What if that’s been his plan since high school?”
“Then move on, Jinny. You don’t need a man like that. You won’t mix well with him. You’re a take charge kind of gal; in case you didn’t notice.”
“So, you think I’m wasting my mental energy, even just discussing this.”
“Yes. I think that you’re better off doing what you’ve been doing. You’re happier that way. And what if things don’t work out between you two? That would make work very awkward.”
“Mom, I don’t work for him, I work with him. And we’re not even in the same department. We’ll barely see each other, except for budgeting, or for other smaller things. He’s the CFO and I’m the HR Manager. Our paths will not cross often.”
“Sounds like you’re rationalizing your way into his pants, Jinny.” She chuckles.
“I’ve always wondered what it would be like.”
“To sleep with him?”
“What else?”
She snuffles a laugh. “Well, maybe you two can just have sex, and call it a day. Get it out of your systems. For all you know, that’s exactly what Led always wanted to know, too.”
“Hm.”
“You think about it. I’ve got a client in ten minutes. I’ll call you about Cabo.”
“Sounds good.”
After I hang up to mom, I head back to the office, where I have an interview with one of the candidates that Halen threw my way, and it goes well, but she’s upped her asking price, since her employer just gave her a huge raise.
I make note to mention this to Led at dinner, and then the afternoon gets away from me.
It’s not until I hear a knock at the door that I realize my meeting with the Lawson boys is in twenty minutes. “Come in.”
It’s Bowie, looking like she’s fresh from the pit of a racing course, wearing coveralls and boots.
“Are you up for a quick dinner tonight? Jagger’s going out with Axl, and I’ll drive myself nuts with worry if I don’t occupy myself.
Jagger’s orders. I’d go with them, but the purpose of the outing is to try to talk Axl down off the ledge. ”
A ‘v’ forms between my brows. “Why does he need to be talked down off the ledge?”
“He’s still begging to build engines with Jagger and me. But after his behavior at the wedding, Jagger’s not bending. That boy needs to calm down, he’s too much of a wild card.” She licks her lips. “Anyway, I’ve got to get back to production. Are you in for dinner? Say seven?”
For a second, I want to keep the truth to myself, but it will be for naught, since she’ll find out, anyway. “Actually, I’m meeting with Led.”
“Oh? That late?”
I nod. “Yeah, it’s a working dinner, to discuss budgets.”
She cranes her neck slightly. “Like...ordering in and eating here, or out?”
“No, out. He said that he’s pulling a fourteen-hour day today, and his head will be spinning if he doesn’t get out of this place by then.
” I feel badly for sharing that. I’m not sure if Led will be pissed.
It doesn’t sound good as Jagger’s CFO, since Jagger typically pulls eighteen-hour days without batting an eyelash.
Same with Bowie. Same with me, too, if we’re being honest here.
She looks slightly perplexed but seems to get over it quickly enough. “Okay. Well, if you’re bored afterward, come over. We’ll play cards or something.”
I love it that she doesn’t overanalyze things when that’s the last thing that I need.
She’ll follow up with me, though, no doubt.
If nothing else to test the barometer after I meet with Led for the first time alone, since college.
The meeting with the Lawson boys is long, but productive, and we end up parting with some solid numbers that I can share with Led.
At six-thirty, my desk phone rings. It’s Led.
“You ready?” He asks, his voice is slightly clipped. But I’ve noticed that that’s his normal way of speaking in the office.
“Yeah, perfect timing. Do I need to change clothes or anything?”
“Depends where you want to go. I’m up for anything as long as there aren’t kids running around.”
“You don’t like kids?”
“Not when I’m in this mood I don’t.”
“Lucky me.”
He chuckles, sensing my trepidation. “Look, I’m just hangry. Hell, we can go to a fucking drive-thru at this rate.”
“I really don’t think so. I’m in cashmere.”
“Fine.” A satisfied snuffle. “Unless you want to change clothes, we can go to that little bistro up the street.”
“The one with the twinkly lights on the front patio?”
“Sure.”
“I think we might need a reservation for that one.”
“Not if you’re a Lawson.”
I lift a brow. “Okay. Do you want to meet there?”
“Nah. We’ll take my car. Meet you in the lot in five.”
“Sounds good.”
Why, I don’t know, but I get a tingling feeling in my belly.
This is not a date. Not by any stretch. But it helps that we’re going to one of the cutest, yet classiest restaurants in town.
It’s sort of romantic, too, but not as romantic as the one closer to downtown.
So, I let it go, and right it off to business.
When I arrive at Led’s car, we get inside, both of us bringing our laptop bags.
He doesn’t open the passenger side door for me and there are no sideways glances in the car. It’s all business. Point for him.
The hostess seems to know him, making me lift a brow, but I slough it off. There is a vacant table in the back of the patio, which we’re led to, and as we sit down and are handed the menus, he looks around, and then at me. “So, how did the meeting go with my brothers?”
“Oh, so, we’re not even going to preamble this, are we. Just diving right in.”
“Well, I figure the silence in the car on the way over was enough.”
I frown. “Fair.”
Seconds later, before we even get our briefcases out, the waitress takes our drink orders, and we both decide that we know what we want to eat, so we order straight away.
I snuffle a laugh. “Man, you weren’t kidding.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you said you were hangry.”
“I haven’t eaten since breakfast, and that was just coffee. I’d eat this leather bag if I had the teeth for it.”
I chuckle. “You’d benefit from keeping snacks in your desk. That’s a woman’s secret.”
“That would be great if I was ever at my desk.”
“Where are you usually?”
“Stuck in meetings. Meetings where there isn’t any food. And once I get back to my desk, I’ve got so many things pummeling through my brain, food is the last thing I’m thinking about.”
“Well, isn’t that what your assistant is for?”
“I’m not going to trouble her with that. We’ve got to keep a multi-billion-dollar business in that tax bracket.”
Moments later, my mouth works faster than my brain.
...I say something that I may regret.
...or is it something that I should have said years ago?