17. Harper
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
harper
I was laying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling and zoning out while simultaneously wishing I was fucking Rhone, when someone knocked on the door to my apartment.
I ignored it.
They knocked again, louder.
It was obviously him.
He typed the code in, and swung the door open. There was a plate of food in his hand, but I didn't look over to see exactly what was on it.
"I'm not hungry," I said, still staring at the ceiling.
"I didn't ask." Rhone sat down on the bed beside me. "My apartment still smells like you."
"That was a bad call on my end."
He grunted.
A piece of bread met my lips, and I closed them tighter.
"Are you going to open your mouth for me, or do I need to make you?"
My face warmed with the question.
My fangs throbbed, too.
It had been so long since I bit him. Twelve hours. Maybe more.
Fuck, I wanted him.
I tried to take the roll with my fingers, instead of my lips.
He let me have it, and set the plate down on my nightstand. When he turned toward me, he slid his hand slowly up the inside of my thigh.
My entire body heated.
"We're not doing this anymore," I said. "Clean break, remember?"
"I never agreed to that."
"It's a two-yes, one-no situation. I picked the clean break. It's happening, regardless of whether you agree."
"You didn't even let me make an offer."
"You weren't going to offer a mate bond."
"So?"
"So, I need a mate bond."
"Why do you need a mate bond?"
"I get attached."
"You can be attached without having a mate bond."
I scowled. "If I wanted to end up heart broken."
"I wouldn't break your heart."
"I want a mate bond, so it doesn't matter. We're over. Clean break."
"Who are you biting tonight, then?" he countered.
"No one. Bloom made a list, but Maverick made her promise not to give it to me until tomorrow."
"What fucking list?" His voice lowered.
I eyed him. "A list of men who would be willing to seal a mate bond with me. You obviously don't qualify."
"You can't mate with someone just because they're willing," he growled. "You might not even be compatible."
"I would obviously fuck them and talk to them, first. Not in that order. Probably."
He rumbled dangerously. "Anyone who touches you dies."
"You can't just decide that."
"It's a two-yes, one-no situation. I said no."
I rolled my eyes. "That's not how that works."
"You kissed me in front of the pack. They still think you're mine."
"You're driving me crazy. Go away."
"Eat your dinner." He grabbed the roll again.
I pushed it away. "I'm not hungry."
"You need to eat. You were doing better with it, when we were with the Wilder Pack."
"I was exhausting myself by fucking you frequently, so I needed more food."
"You were drinking more blood, and it made you less nauseous," he countered.
"After I pick a mate, I'll drink more blood."
"You're not picking a fucking mate, Harper," he growled. "You're still finding your new normal."
"There is no new normal if I'm not mated and actively fucking and drinking from someone." I rolled toward him, meeting his gaze fiercely. "When we were together constantly, I felt alive. When I started to fade, you lit me up again. I can't be alone anymore, Rhone. I don't want to. Not after that."
"Then you can fuck me and drink from me until you pick your mate," he gritted out.
"You're joking, right?" I stared at him.
He didn't look like he was joking.
I ripped the roll from his hand and pointed to the door. "I'll eat the food. Get out."
"No."
I glared at him.
He stared back.
The beginning of an idea formed in my mind.
My phone was in my back pocket. I didn't need anything else.
"Fine," I said. "Stay."
I flopped unceremoniously to my back.
He let out a harsh breath that almost sounded like relief.
I took a bite of the roll, just to let him think he had won.
Then, I rolled off the bed and tapped into my vampire speed just long enough to cross the hall.
His snarl followed me while I stabbed the buttons with the code to his apartment. His footsteps did, too.
I slammed the door between us and slid the deadbolt into place, followed by the extra latch thing above it for security.
Bloom had already told me the building was reinforced so no one could break down the doors. With that security lock closed, I didn't think there was any way Rhone could get in.
I stepped back a few feet before plopping down on the floor, just in case the reinforcement wasn't as good as Bloom thought.
I didn't really want to get hit by a door.
The lock buzzed a few seconds later, and Rhone opened the door all of the one inch his security lock allowed.
He growled when it stopped, and shoved it a few times.
"Really, Trouble?"
"You wouldn't leave my room. I had to return the favor."
He let out a slow breath like he was trying not to lose his shit. "If you devolve while that lock's in place, we're going to have a real fucking problem."
"I'm not going to devolve." I didn't feel close to that.
Not super close, anyway.
"Just let me in. We can... talk."
"You don't talk with me. You talk to me. And you definitely don't listen."
"I heard every word you said."
"Not well enough, clearly."
He walked away.
I blinked.
When he walked back, then away again, I realized he was pacing.
The door closed itself slowly, and he opened it again. A piece of fabric blocked it from closing, and I realized it was his shirt.
I stared up at the ceiling while his agitated footsteps carried in from the hallway.
"So we'll seal a bond," he finally said.
"You don't want that or mean that."
"If I have to see you with someone else, I will do whatever the werewolf version of devolving is. If you need a mate bond and regular sex, we'll do that."
I blinked up at the ceiling. "You're going to give in? Just like that?"
"It wouldn't mean anything to either of us. Obviously."
"Obviously." I echoed the word, though I wasn't sure I agreed with it.
"You're not interested in me beyond attraction anyway," he added.
"Right," I lied. "So you want me to add you to the list of potential mates."
"There better not be a fucking list."
"There is."
"Erase it."
"No."
"Just let me into the apartment, Harp. We can spend the night together, and you can think about my proposition tomorrow."
"You're extremely bossy," I said.
"Open the door."
I stared up at the ceiling for a few more seconds, debating it silently.
I obviously couldn't seal a bond with him. Not with him being him. He hadn't even wanted me to kiss him in front of his pack.
He just didn't think he could handle letting me mate with someone else.
His possessiveness wasn't going to be the reason I sealed a bond with him. Yes, I needed to pick a mate, but I could pick a mate who I thought might actually be able to love me at some point.
Rhone was still capable of love, but he wasn't interested in it. Not even a little.
So, I wasn't going along with his mating plan.
But if I wanted to find and pick someone else, I was going to have to pretend I was considering it just for a night or two.
Maybe three.
It was obviously a sacrifice I could handle. Wouldn't exactly be a hardship to drink from him for a few more days. Or snuggle with him.
I reluctantly sat up.
I probably shouldn't let myself fuck him.
That was going to be difficult, given how the last two weeks had gone, but whatever. I'd figure it out. I'd probably have a hard time getting someone else to be my mate while Rhone's cum was dripping out of me, so there wasn't exactly another option.
I kicked his shirt out of the way long enough to close the door, so I could unlatch the security lock and pull it open. Rather than letting him through immediately, I leaned in the doorway and met his gaze.
His eyes were dark, but glowing just a little bit.
His hair was a fucking mess. He must've run his fingers through it a dozen times.
I didn't expect to see him differently now that he'd offered to seal a bond with me, but I kind of did.
He almost looked... desperate.
He shoved a hand through his hair, and his fingers got tangled in the strands. He growled under his breath.
"You need to cut your hair already," I said. He'd mentioned hating it long, more than once.
"Let me in, and I will."
"You can't just offer to seal a mate bond with me because you don't think you can handle seeing me with someone else," I added.
"I already did." He met my gaze, and held it.
I opened the door. "We're not having sex."
"That's fine. You need to bite me, though."
"I'll think about it."
The look he shot me said thinking about it wasn't an option.
I finally stepped aside.
He didn't move. "We should stay in your apartment. So you can adjust to it."
"I'll be moving in with my mate when I choose one."
"We can seal a bond and still live separately."
"I'm not living apart from my mate. That defeats the whole purpose."
"Then we'll stay here." His side brushed mine as he stepped past me. He was too gigantic for it not to. "Come on, Trouble."
I closed the door, and noticed him eyeing the security lock before I followed him to the bathroom.
"Are you going to take that lock down?" I asked.
"Yup." He didn't bother denying it, which I appreciated.
He lifted me onto the countertop before opening a cabinet and crouching down to rummage through the drawers inside it.
"You're really organized," I remarked.
"I was in the werewolf military for a long fucking time."
"Did you rank high?"
"Too high."
Bloom had said that about Maverick, too.
"Maverick isn't organized," I pointed out.
"He's not as strict about it as I am, but he is in his own way. I caught him googling how far apart to place Bloom's clothes for the maximum scent distribution in the first few weeks after he bit her."
I snorted. "There's no way that's online."
"It's not. We ended up figuring it out with food, and a bunch of enforcers."
"Sounds kind of fun."
"It was."
"So you don't hate the pack."
He grunted. "There are things I like about it, and things I don't."
"Have you thought about leaving?"
"Mav is all I have left. Leaving isn't an option for me."
I wondered, just for a moment, what it would feel like if I could ever make it onto the list of things he had left.
Good, probably.
Really good.
"What would you do if he lost a challenge?" I asked.
"Snap the challenger's neck and take over the pack until I found someone Mav would want to replace him. Stay and make sure it didn't fall apart, afterward."
"So it's all about him?"
"Of course it is. We're family." Rhone stood up with a pair of electric clippers, and some hair scissors.
"What about you?" I asked him.
"What about me?"
"Isn't there anything you want?"
He gave me a long look before parting the top section of his hair roughly and tying it up in a knot on top of his head. "Nope."
I watched silently as he took the clippers to the side of his head and shaved the hair there off completely, without trimming it first.
"What did you want to do before the war?" I asked him, as he set the clippers down and grabbed his scissors.
"It doesn't matter. I'm someone completely different, now."
"Of course it matters. Who you were matters. It has to." There was no hiding the bite in my voice.
If who we were didn't matter, there was no point. Because who and what I currently was were really fucking dark.
He grimaced. "I baked with my family, and carved wood. Built furniture. Saw myself settling down with a nice girl from the next pack over and eventually becoming the Alpha. Mav didn't really want to lead, back then. I did. I was… happier. Friendlier."
Neither of us said anything as he started shortening the length at the top of his hair, cutting it to his cheekbones so he'd have an easier time manipulating the strands.
"I have a hard time imagining you actually liking people," I said.
"So do I."
He made his way through the haircut, snipping and clipping. He muttered curses under his breath a few times, and when he cut one of his fingers badly enough that it bled, he dropped the scissors and left the room for a minute.
I had to bite my lip to hide a smile.
He really did hate haircuts.
He came back, using his straw to stir a large cup of the nasty, thick protein shakes the werewolves drank.
"How hard is it to do the haircut?" I asked him.
"Not hard. Just a pain in the ass."
"I could try, if you trusted me enough not to stab you in the eye with the scissors. I know you don't like having people's hands in your hair, and it probably wouldn't turn out as good, but—"
There was a thud as he hit his knees in front of the sink and handed me the scissors.
I slipped off the countertop.
He explained the basic idea—just make the length of all the hair match—and I got to work.
It was harder than it looked.
It was never all going to be the same length.
I eventually decided it was close enough. He trimmed a few pieces when I handed back the scissors, and raked his hand through the much shorter locks. The longest pieces fell to his eyebrows, choppy and a little wild.
"Thanks," he said.
"I don't think I did a good enough job to be thanked, but you're welcome anyway."
"I can run my hand through it, and I didn't have to do it myself. That's all that matters to me." Rhone set a hand on my shoulder and squeezed lightly before stepping toward the shower.
He dropped his shorts without a warning, and I groaned inwardly at the sight of that perfect, tight ass.
It was unfair for him to look that good.
"You're covered in hair. Shower with me," he called out.
"That sounds like a very mate-ish thing to do," I called back.
"I offered to be your mate."
"You offered to mate with me. Not to be my mate."
"They're the same thing."
"No, they're not," I said, glancing down at my arms. Sure enough, there were tiny pieces of Rhone's hair all over them.
I looked back at the shower.
The invitation was tempting.
Technically, we could shower together without having sex.
There would be some touching involved, but I could avoid letting it get spicy.
Probably.
I buried my teeth in my lip so deeply that it bled…
And followed him in.