20. Gareth
Chapter twenty
Gareth
Trey: I've enjoyed our time together, but I feel like you've outgrown what my services can provide. It's been an honor working for you, but I'm afraid that if we continue it'll be holding you back from finding what you truly deserve
He's breaking up with me. Over a text. It would be a shitty move if we'd been together in the first place. He may have started to bend his rules for me, but it's not like we were dating.
I'm only in love with the man. And probably have been since high school, even when I was pretending I wasn't.
Tears pour down my face. I don't even bother to wipe them. This hurts. Everything hurts. My heart, my head, my stomach. Even my muscles are protesting at never being able to see him again. To touch him again. To make him smile.
I try to tell myself there are more fish in the sea, but none of them are Trey. So, I'll be alone for the rest of my miserable life. I'll have the kids to keep me going until they turn eighteen. Then what?
I take up bowling? Bingo?
Fuck, I'm a sad sack tonight. I want to be pissed at him, but I know this is all on me.
I couldn't control how I felt, seeing his arm on someone not me. It had been a long, shitty day at work, I’d been craving a whiskey since noon, and that anger from high school came rushing back.
He had something I didn't. Someone else had something I couldn't. A decade later and I've learned nothing. Deep down I’m still that angry, sad boy, lashing out because he's out and I'm not.
If there was any night to get black out drunk it would be tonight.
But I can't. I'm getting the kids tomorrow morning.
So, for the next ten hours, I lay on my back, in my dark room, remembering every heartbreaking moment with Trey, and hating myself for it.