17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Taylor
L iam’s growl vibrates through me. It's a sound I've never heard from him before, raw and savage, devoid of any human warmth. I jerk back, my heart slamming against my ribs as chills race down my spine.
Something's wrong.
Something's terribly, horribly wrong.
Liam's eyes, usually so warm and loving, are cold and flat. The rich amber hue has been swallowed by a feral glow, the pupils contracted to mere pinpricks. There's no recognition in those eyes.
“Liam?” My throat closes over. “Liam, what's happening? What's wrong?”
He doesn't respond. Doesn't even seem to hear me. A shudder runs through his body. I watch in horrified fascination as fur sprouts along his arms and disappears again.
Oh God. He's fighting his shift.
“Liam, please,” I whisper, my hands held out in a placating gesture. “It's me. It's Taylor. You know me. You love me.”
For a moment, I think I see a flicker of recognition in those feral depths. A spark of my mate fighting his way to the surface but it's gone as quickly as it came. Liam shudders, his bones cracking and realigning. Fur erupts along his limbs, a dense coat of gray and white speckles that ripples with each convulsion of his muscles. His face elongates into a muzzle, teeth lengthening into wickedly sharp fangs that gleam in the low light.
In a moment, a massive gray wolf towers over me but Liam is nowhere to be found in this wolf. Its eyes, once a warm amber that sparkled with love are now flat and wild. There's no recognition, no sign of Liam’s spirit. There is only hunger, a savagery that sends icy tendrils of fear curling through my veins.
This isn't Liam.
Not anymore.
A low growl rumbles up from the wolf's chest, its lips peeling back from its fangs in a snarl that makes every hair on my body stand on end. It takes a step forward, huge paw sinking into the mattress, muscles coiled and ready to spring. I know, with a certainty that settles like a leaden weight in my gut, that the creature before me is no longer my mate, my love.
It's a predator.
And I am its prey.
I slowly slide off the mattress and onto the carpet, but the wolf is between me and the door. There’s nowhere to go. I’m trapped. “Liam, don't do this. Come back to me. Fight this. You're stronger than this, I know you are.”
I fight panicked breaths as the wolf lines me up. With a roar that shakes the very walls, the beast lunges. I have a split second to register the flash of teeth, the gleam of razor-sharp claws and then pain explodes through me, white-hot and blinding.
I scream as claws rake down my arm, tearing through skin and muscle. The wounds are deep. Deep enough to cut to my bone. Blood wells in the wounds, hot and slick, the coppery scent filling the air.
The wolf bears me to the ground, its weight crushing the air from my lungs. I thrash and struggle, but I’m fighting against a mountain. Fangs close around my throat. I still, hardly daring to breathe as hot breath gusts over my face.
This is it. This is how I die, torn apart by the man I love. There's a terrible sort of irony in that, a cosmic joke at my expense. I’ve been saved from a terminal disease only to be killed by the man who saved me.
I don’t want my last thoughts to be of the wolf who is going to tear my throat out. I want to see Liam in my mind. The man I’ve fallen in love with. Desperation claws at my insides, squeezing my heart so hard it hurts. I reach out through the bond to feel a scrap of Liam again but there's nothing to grasp. Only a yawning void where once Liam's essence burned bright and warm.
There’s nothing there. Nothing left.
The bond is gone. Severed. Liam is...gone.
A keening wail builds behind my breastbone, but I choke it back. My hand trembles as I lift my arm, my fingers sinking into the fur at the wolf's nape. I have to think of the animal as a wolf. That’s all there is.
“I love you, Liam.” The words catch in my throat.
I do love him. With everything in my heart. He isn’t to blame for this. Nothing about this is his fault. The wolf isn’t him. He’s a wild beast acting on ancient instincts, poisoned by Rowan. This is Rowan’s doing.
The wolf snarls, a deep rumble that vibrates through my bones. Its jaws begin to squeeze tighter and its teeth pop through my skin. Blood gushes from the wounds as searing agony rockets through me. The coppery tang of it fills my nostrils, sharp and acrid. My vision swims, the room tilting and spinning.
I cling to the image of Liam’s face as darkness descends. I picture the warm amber of his eyes. The way they would crinkle at the corners when he laughed. The curve of his full lips, so soft and tender when they brushed against my own, yet capable of stretching into a grin that never failed to make my heart skip. The strong, chiseled lines of his jaw. The way his brow would furrow when he was deep in thought. He's a good man. A kind, gentle soul. A man who became a doctor to treat people who are sick.
I dig my fingers against the wolf’s nape, sliding through the fur and onto his skin. My ring flares with sudden, searing heat. The metal glows molten red against my skin but I hardly register it over the storm of emotions blasting through me; love and rage and unshakable determination.
A strange sensation builds within me. Pressure pushes at my skin from the inside out. It starts as a tingle in the center of my chest, a subtle warmth that quickly spreads down my arms and into my body, blazing through my veins like wildfire.
A blinding flash of golden light strobes my vision and sears everything around me. The world fractures and shatters around me. My body contorts. Bones crack. Realign. Fur erupts from my skin in a prickling wave, itching and crawling as it spreads across my limbs, my face, my back.
The wolf is thrown off me by a dazzling explosion of radiant light. It slams against the far wall with a yelp, a tangle of legs and fur.
I barely register its distress. I'm too consumed by the changes ravaging my own body, by the alien sensations that assail me from all sides. I rise on shaking legs, take a tentative step forward...and nearly pitch onto my face.
My gait is all wrong, my center of gravity shifted in a way that throws me off-balance. I look down at my legs but they aren’t human. I’m standing on four legs covered in russet fur. My sharp claws dig into the carpet. I swing my head around to see a fluffy tail disappear behind me. The temptation to follow it is almost all-consuming. Shock is the only thing that locks my feet to the floor.
I’m not human any more.
I’m…a wolf.
I’ve shifted…into a wolf.
This shouldn't be possible. It can't be possible. I don't possess the spark of magic to take on the shape of another creature.
And yet, here I am on four paws, my body alive with energy. Power courses through my veins, strength coiled in the muscles that ripple beneath my tawny pelt. A strange, intoxicating power surges within me, filling my veins with untamed energy. The world is different, my senses heightened. Sounds are sharper, more distinct—the ragged draw of breath, the frantic pounding of my heart. Scents burst across my awareness in a riot of vivid information.
It's exhilarating.
Terrifying.
A miracle.
“Taylor?” I look up to see Liam on his knees. He’s human. Beautifully, wonderfully alive. His eyes are clear, free of the madness that consumed him. “Is that...is that really you?”
Joy and relief crash over me. It’s Liam.
Mate!
Mate is back.
I move toward him on unsteady paws, tripping over my own feet in my haste to get to him. Liam reaches out with a trembling hand, his fingers sinking into the thick ruff around my neck. I lean into his touch, a rumbling purr building as I revel in his caress. No wonder he liked me petting him when he was in his wolf body. This is better than a full body massage.
“How?” he whispers, awe and confusion warring on his face. “I don't understand. You're human, you can't shift...”
His words trail off as I lap at the tears streaking his cheeks, tasting the salt on my tongue. A broken sound escapes his lips, anguish twisting his features.
“I'm so sorry, Taylor,” he rasps, cradling my face in his hands. “I never wanted to hurt you, never meant for any of this to happen. That beast, that monster...it wasn't me. I was trapped, locked away. I couldn’t stop it.”
His torment echoes through our bond.
Our bond!
It’s back. I feel his emotions. His joy. His shock. His love.
I love him too. I love him so much I want to play with him. I dance around Liam, yipping and nudging him with my nose. Playful nips tug at his clothes, his hair, inviting him to join in my jubilant celebration.
A low chuckle rumbles up from his chest, the first spark of true mirth. His fingers tangle in my ruff, his forehead pressing to mine as the bond thrums between us renewed vitality, a shimmering thread of love and devotion that fills the aching void in my soul.
This is what I’ve missed. This connection. I’m whole. Complete again. My body and soul is in perfect harmony with his.
I barely restrain myself. So I don’t. Energy surges through my veins, a boundless vitality that leaves me giddy and euphoric. I dance around Liam on clumsy paws, yipping and yowling my joy. Liquid sunlight has replaced the blood in my veins, every cell buzzing with the need to run, to play. I nuzzle against him, nibbling at his chest and hair in a playful invitation to join me.
A sudden realization strikes me. My wounds are gone as though they were never inflicted. I’m healed without a trace of my earlier injuries. I remember how Liam's own injuries vanished when he shifted form. It seems that miraculous ability has been granted to me as well.
Now that I’m a wolf, everything is simple. I have no need for complex thoughts. All I want to do is bask in my mate. Be with the simple pleasure of his company.
“Calm down, baby. I know how exciting the world is for you now.” Liam's laughter rumbles through the room, a sound of pure happiness that sets my tail wagging. His fingers tangle in the fur around my neck as the bond between us resonates with perfect understanding.
I lose myself in the perfection of our bond but the hint of a shadow spears through the light. His fingers shake and a deep sigh falls past his lips. His laughter dies and the light inside me dims. I delve deeper into the shadow, trying to work out what it is. Why it’s there.
It’s coming from my mate.
But…why?
And what is it?
It takes me a moment. Then I understand and when I do, it breaks my heart. The oozing heaviness eats away at our light. It draws me deeper, into his self-recrimination and loathing.
I whine softly, licking his face again because he shouldn’t feel like this. Not when I want to run and play and he makes me so happy. Not when I love him so much. Not when I want to make him feel the same way and bring back the light between us. All he does lean his forehead against mine as sobs wrack his body, and now I can give name to the darkness eating him alive.
Guilt. Acidic burning guilt.