Chapter 68
CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT
ROSAMUND
He walks to the center of the hall, his face a mask of fury, and it takes me a long moment to realize his anger isn’t directed at Lord Eorl but… at me.
“Valen,” I whisper, getting up.
“Lady Rosamund,” he says frostily.
It’s a knife of ice straight through my chest. “What’s wrong?”
“I would like a word.”
I start around the table, and Lord Eorl grabs my arm. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“To speak to my friend.” I yank my arm free.
“Outrageous,” he says, “you’ll pay for this!” but I’m way past caring about what he thinks of me. My anger is a tangible thing, a hard stone where my heart should be.
I wanted revenge on my stepfamily, but now I want to take revenge on him.
Valen leads the way outside, into the front garden, and we stroll among the flowers.
“Lady Rosamund,” he says again, and I flinch.
“Why so formal?”
“It’s as it should be,” he whispers.
This distance between us… is my choice. My fault. Valen asked me to follow him, and I refused because I created this fairytale in my mind years ago, where Lord Eorl would be my prince, charming and kind. Because I’m still clinging to any other outcome than the obvious one.
“You’re angry,” I say. “What’s wrong?”
“You knew,” Valen says. “About the hunt. About the danger my friends were in. And you didn’t come to warn me.”
I close my eyes briefly. “I couldn’t.”
“Oh, couldn’t you?”
“No,” I say, “because he locked me up in my room! Valen…”
He stops in his tracks. “He did what? Are you joking?”
I shake my head, miserable. “Believe me, I fought him, and I wanted to come warn you, but I couldn’t. Are they all right?”
“They are fine. Rosie… He locked you up, and you still want to stay and get married to that piece of shit?”
“I can’t blame him for hunting dark fae, Valen. Remember my story. Hating your kind doesn’t make him a bad man.”
“No, that’s not why he’s a bad man, and you know it.” His eyes seem to glow with fury. “The fact that we are discussing this is stupid.”
“Oh.”
“Not you, Princess. This argument, the fact he locked you up, that…” His gaze dips, and he goes still. “Fuck, your hand.”
I wrap my other hand around it. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s black and blue. What did he do now?”
“I’m fine.”
“Fucking hells, Princess. Fine is the last thing you are. You’re not safe here. Please, come away with me.”
“Because I’m in danger? Why you’re asking me to leave with you?” I swallow hard. “Why, Valen?”
“Because I love you,” he whispers. “Don’t you know that?”
My eyes sting. Does he mean it? He’s never mentioned anything like this before. Never asked. “I don’t know what you’re offering me. What will I be? Your friend? Your mistress?”
“You’ll be my woman, my wife, my everything.”
My heart jolts in my chest. To be with him. To belong to him. The image forms in my mind, walking with Valen hand in hand, talking and laughing out in the open, together without fear.
“We’d have to live in the mountains,” I whisper. “Leave everything behind.”
Suddenly, he turns away. “I see,” he says, his voice rough. “I can’t stay here any longer.”
Panic grips me. “What? But you said you’d stay until the wedding—”
“I’m sorry, Princess. I really am. But I can’t watch you be abused by this man any longer. It’s driving me insane. I’ll kill him if I stay.”
“Valen—”
“If this is what you want, then I’m happy for you. Fucking thrilled. You got your happy ending with your human lord. I delivered you here safe and sound, as promised. Now it’s time for me to go home.”
Valen is leaving. I’ve known it all along. Yet, his words drove the blade home anew, and my heart is cut open and bleeding.
Why didn’t I run after him, say yes? Yes, I’m going with you?
Why is it so hard for me to let go of my dead dream, when I know it’s Valen I love and he loves me, too?
Somehow, I’m still clinging to what is familiar, to the future I imagined, still trapped inside the cage of my own mind.
Breaking the thread of the narrative that kept me sane all these years is hard.
Here is where I was supposed to find my future, my happiness. But I was so wrong. It’s not just the bruises and the feeling that a future with Lord Eorl will be bleak. It’s that I don’t care for him.
And I care for Valen.
I’m not staying here. I’m not letting Valen go without me. The thought is unbearable and terrible. Panic seizes me when I think of a life without him.
It’s all clear to me now. Hiding behind fantasies and reasons won’t work. Putting off the decision is a bad idea. Lord Eorl could lock me up until the wedding, and Valen will be long gone.
I won’t let that happen.
Re-entering the manor, I walk into the hall with its guests and servants. Lord Eorl’s gaze cuts to me the moment I approach the long tables. My head high, I make my way back to him. His glower follows me across the hall until I retake my seat.
I reach for my wine and take a sip. The musicians start to play. Fittingly, it’s a fast and furious tune. Furious, like I feel.
“Where is your friend?” Lord Eorl snarls.
“He left.”
He blinks at me, obviously not expecting this. “Good. Now we can try to clean up your image before we wed. Everyone’s been talking about your wanton behavior with h—”
“I’m leaving.”
He watches me, a deep crease between his brows. He also takes a sip from his goblet and licks his lips. “Stop that nonsense. Where would you go?
“To the man I love, and who loves me back.”
He thumps the goblet back down. “What the fuck are you saying?”
I get up and brace my hands on the table.
“Listen up, all of you!” I shout. “You were right, gossiping behind my back! I’m not Rosamund Briar.
Rosamund is dead. I’m an impostor paid by Lord Eorl so he could get her estates.
He lied to all of you, and those of you who had your suspicions…
You were right. I’m leaving now. No wedding. No estates.” I shrug. “Such a pity.”
He’s on his feet, reaching for me. “You, how dare you—?”
I step back. “I’m not your betrothed. Your future wife.
Your anything. I have and want nothing to do with you.
Not for all the estates and all the sweet revenge in the world.
And if any of you ladies wish to marry him, beware, for he’s a monster.
Not in appearance, but in his heart. He’ll tear you apart, break you and dance on your pieces. You’ve been warned.”
“Guards!” he roars. “Get her!”
But I don’t wait for anyone to move. Gathering my skirts, I run around the tables, keeping close to the wall and out of the way of servants who are only just twigging to what happened.
The door to the garden is slightly ajar, as I left it when I entered moments ago.
Shoving it wider, I race out of the manor, taking advantage of my element of surprise.
Nobody would think that I’d run away, taking nothing with me.
Yet, here I am, leaving it all behind and not caring.
I cross the garden, running past gardeners and workers who stare at me in disbelief. The iron gate of the estate is barely open, and I fear I won’t be able to squeeze through, but I do.
Then I run full-out toward the grove where I last saw Valen’s friend.
“Valen!” I yell. “Valen! Where are you? Konstam! Darian! Help!”
No reply reaches me. My heart hammering, my lungs seizing, I run into the grove and slow down. Birds flutter on the branches of the trees. A small animal dashes through the undergrowth.
“Valen!” I shout. “Please. I’m sorry. You were right all along. Please, Valen… I love you.”
But again, only the wind replies.
He isn’t here, I realize. He must have shifted and run as a wolf. I hadn’t even considered that possibility, silly me. He and his friends are probably already miles away.
It doesn’t matter. I will find him.
That’s all that matters to me now.