Chapter 70
CHAPTER SEVENTY
ROSAMUND
I’m running through the dark woods, bursting out into meadows where sheep graze. Lord Eorl’s animals. But I don’t think I can move any further. Despite the long trek I did with Valen, I’m not used to exercise, having spent most of my life in my room with my books and embroideries. I need to rest.
However, first, I need to hide, something Valen taught me. Lord Eorl’s people could come after me, so I need a hidey hole. I don’t know what spin he’ll give to my speech and departure. If he’ll find another way to get my estates.
Honestly, I don’t care. Let him have them. Valen makes me happy. All I want is him, if he’ll still have me. If his offer still stands.
The pain in my heart when I think of the contrary is like a knife wound, like the claws and teeth of the wolves who scarred me as a child.
If he rejects me, now that I’ve realized how important he is to me, I feel as if it could kill me.
Stop my heart. Push me back into my shell to cower.
It almost makes me too scared to look for him.
But the days of shielding my eyes from the world and its realities are over. I’ll take the pain over inertia. I’d rather take my chances than wonder to the end of my days about missed possibilities.
I only need to find him. Ask him.
See him, touch him, kiss him… I miss him more than I ever thought I would or could. I’ve missed him every hour of every day and night I haven’t been in his presence. I’ve longed for him.
The clues were there all along.
Across from the meadow, a hill rises with a hamlet growing on its side. I hurry toward it through the thorns and grasses that keep snagging my dress, glancing over my shoulder every few steps, certain I’ll see Eorl’s men coming after me.
The sheep lift their heads, masticating, watching me as I rush past them. A fox darts in the distance, a flash of red. Above, hawks circle.
The world is free. That’s how I long to be, together with Valen. I think of his face, his gaze, his hands on my waist, his voice. He dragged me out of my shell. Made me believe in people. In feelings. In a bright future.
“Valen,” I whisper. “Come to me. Where are you?”
But I don’t see or hear any wolves, and finally, I reach the hill. I start up the dirt road winding up the gentle slope, the wind blowing my hair in my face. I climb and climb, then stumble and crash in the dirt. A wordless scream tears out of my throat.
Please, Gods. I made a mistake. I let myself live in a fantasy for too long. Didn’t realize how wrong I was.
How important Valen is to me.
Panting, I push myself up to my feet and keep going. An old woman is coming down the road, carrying a basket in one hand. She stops at one of the huts and gestures at me.
“What are you looking for?” she calls out.
“A place to rest.”
Her gaze travels over me. “A noblewoman. What are you doing out here?”
“Hiding from a man,” I answer.
Her frown deepens the wrinkles on her forehead and around her deep-set eyes. “Then come inside, girl. No reason to linger in the cold wind. I have hot tea and a burning fire in the hearth. Warm you right up.”
With one last glance down the way I’ve come, I follow her inside.
The hut is just one long room with the fireplace against one of the walls. Two chairs are set in front of it, and a pot is hanging over the flames. The old lady wraps her hand in a piece of cloth and lifts the pot, then hobbles over to the table and pours the liquid into two cups.
“Sit,” she says, “sit. Warm yourself up.”
“Thank you.” I take a seat by the fire, wondering whether Lord Eorl has dismissed me or whether I should keep going. The thought of climbing the rest of the hill, of walking more, is weighing me down.
Where can I go? How far is far enough?
I open my locket and stare at Lord Eorl’s miniature portrait. I stare at the man I thought I’d marry and love, the man I grew up creating fantasies about.
Carefully, calmly, I tear it out of the locket and throw it into the flames. They leap and spark, consuming it in fits and starts. Its edges blacken and curl, and slowly his hateful face disappears.
“Here.” She gives me the cup, and an aroma of herbs rises. “Drink. You’ll feel better.”
Obeying, I take a few sips.
“Running from one of his lordship’s men?” She takes the seat next to me. “Made any untoward advances, did he?”
“Something like that,” I whisper.
“Some men are animals.” She shakes her head. “Where will you go?”
“I’m not sure.” I cradle the cup in my hands. “I’m looking for someone called Valen. Valerian. Have you seen him? Has he passed by here by any chance?”
It’s a long shot, and when she shakes her head, I’m not surprised. I’m sure he shifted into wolf form. He’d have no reason to stop anywhere to rest or get out of the cold.
Unlike me.
“I know a lady in the next town,” the old woman says. “If you tell her I sent you, she’ll help you. I’ve sent a few ladies her way over the years.”
Again, I shouldn’t be surprised. This is the hamlet closest to the manor. If any ladies ran away, this is the first place they’d find.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “I should get going.”
“Now? It will be dark soon. You should stay the night.”
But outside, I hear dogs baying. I rise unsteadily to my feet. “Oh, Gods…”
“They are hunting,” she says. “They like hunting, though it’s a bit late in the season. A bit late in the day for a hunt.”
“I’m the one they are after,” I say.
“With dogs?” She gives me a wide-eyed look. “You must be someone important.”
“Not really. They only want my property.” I give her the cup. “Thank you for your hospitality. If they ask, you haven’t seen me.”
“My lady!” she calls as I cross the hut and open the door.
“Yes?”
“Don’t let them catch you.”
“I won’t,” I whisper, hoping I’m right, and start running again.
I run up the slope, past a few more small huts and pens with pigs and fowl, then spot a trail going around the hillside and down. Following it, I descend back down to the meadows and fields.
My lungs laboring, I glance around the landscape. I can’t see any place to hide and, as the old woman had said, darkness is gathering. The days are short, and the night is catching up with me.
The dogs and hunters will soon catch up, too.
I start running again, wandering through the plain like a desperate ghost. “Valen!” I yell to hear his name on the wind. In case any wolf is listening and can find him for me. “Valen!”
The baying is nearer now. The wind carries the shouts of people. They are closing in on me.
“Valen!” I sob for breath. “Valen…” I feel as if he’s close by, but it’s an illusion. I’m on my own. I shoved away the love of my life, and this ending serves me right.
A stream. I need a stream to erase my scent. I hear water gurgling not far from where I am, so I head that way. I have a stitch in my side. My chest hurts. Black spots dance in my eyes. And I keep running.
There. The stream is small, but it will have to do.
I plunge my feet into it without hesitation and follow its course, walking in the ice-cold water, stumbling over rocks and grasses.
I can’t do this for long, as the dogs come ever closer.
Spotting a thicket, I splash out of the stream and dash that way on feet numb from the cold.
Just a few more feet and I’ll be under the canopy. If my strength doesn’t fail me, I can try climbing a tree. I won’t go down without a fight.
Won’t go back to Lord Eorl without a war.
But three wolves burst out of the trees and lope past me, snarling. Gasping, I turn to watch them leap over the stream and fall on the dogs and hunters.
I gape at the scene. Three huge wolves against at least ten dogs and just as many men. But these aren’t ordinary wolves.
A smile breaks over my face.
He’s here.