Chapter 15
The Waterfront Holiday Market is crowded, warm, and bright despite the cold.
I don’t know what I expected, but this… this feels good.
Better than I thought Christmas could feel again.
There was an earlier sadness today, there always is, but right now I’m having the best Christmas I’ve had in a long time.
We walk through the rows of stalls, trying foods from different vendors like we always used to. A walking buffet. She takes pictures of the lights, of the food, of me, and she laughs. God, she laughs. And everything feels right with the world for a second. Like nothing ever went wrong.
We get trays and walk with them, stopping at a small square table barely two feet in length and width.
I sit on one end facing her. My plate has roasted chicken pieces, garlic noodles, a pork bun split open and stuffed with greens, and some fried dumplings.
Hers is filled with empanadas, plantains, shredded beef over rice, and a mango pastry she insisted on because it “looked cute.”
She picks up one empanada, takes a bite, and her eyes widen.
“It tastes like heaven,” she says, shaking her head. “Here.” She scoops some onto my plate.
I hand her a piece of my noodle bowl in return. “Try this.”
She chews slowly, eyes narrowing. “Okay… okay, that’s unfair. That’s ridiculous.”
Her face is so pretty right now. Her hair is in four big braids, thick and shiny, framing her face. She looks beautiful. Happy. Carefree. And it hits me. She’s probably happy and free now because she’s no longer married to me.
I made myself believe she was the problem. That she wasn’t being supportive. Sarah fed that idea too, or at least I thought she did. But the truth? I was the one sucking the life out of the relationship. I hadn’t made my wife laugh in years.
That one dinner party, the one where I was cold, defensive, awful to her, feels like it just happened.
The one where I basically neglected her the entire night because I was tangled up in Sarah’s presence.
I didn't even want Gabrielle there. That’s exactly what it was.
But I didn't want to admit it then, because admitting it would mean everything was my fault.
All the nights I came home late. Sure, I was exhausted, but I still chose to ignore her. Chose to text Sarah. To think about Sarah. To stay at work longer just to be next to Sarah.
And for all the years I didn’t see Gabrielle, I've been haunted by the look on her face, that wounded, betrayed look, even when she reached out, trying to fix things.
The truth is I don’t deserve another chance.
I already had so many. So damn many. So many nights, so many phone calls, so many conversations…
and every time, it was Gabrielle reaching out, trying to pull me back from the dark side I kept choosing.
Even when she suspected something, she still kept trying.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, her smile faltering.
I swallow hard. There’s a lump in my throat that isn’t food.
Never again do I want to make her cry. The truth is my heart is hurting so bad right now.
I miss her. I miss this. She was my best friend, and I lost sight of that.
I feel sick, but damn it, I want to keep her happy.
Keep her smiling. Even though I’m convinced she hates me. But I don’t want to lie to her either.
“I’m just sorry that I… I miss this. I miss us hanging out like this on Christmas.” The smile I force feels painful.
Gabby gives me a soft smile.
“I kind of do too.”
That alone feels like a breath I’ve needed for years.
We break into more easy conversation as the time flows by.
When we’re done eating, we head out to go to her little spot by the ocean and walk out to the jetty. We bought a gigantic platter of rice and pork bits, some cookies, fruit, pastries, and Snapper fries from the market.
We sit down and immediately start laughing when the seagulls swarm us, landing on our shoulders, heads, backs. It’s chaos.
“God damn what the hell is the matter with you guys,” Gabby laughs, trying to wrestle the platter open.
It's hilarious how she can't breathe with how hard she's laughing.
The huge gull, Handsome, dive-bombs the other birds, pushes them aside, and shoves his whole face into the platter, knocking it into her lap.
Her legs are crossed, the food now literally steaming on her thighs, and the bird doesn’t care at all. He just starts eating right by her crotch.
She is cracking up. I’m cracking up.
“I think they're going to end up eating us too if we don’t drop the food,” I manage between breaths.
“Oh my God just—” she starts, but the birds erupt in screeching.
“Skkkeee skeeeugh!” one shrieks in a high pitch.
Handsome has a challenger. Another young male. The two seagulls go right at it as there's a big chunk of pork right there for them to eat. A younger seagull sees an opportunity, and since those two are fighting, he might as well seize it for the pork.
Then there is a full feeding frenzy, where there are about 20 seagulls now, and the number is growing. I have no idea where the hell the other seagulls even came from, but now there are like forty of them, as well as some other tinier birds joining in the fray.
“Now that I think about it this probably wasn't the best idea,” I say, holding my hands over my head, trying to protect myself from being shat on and from the flutter of feathers battering me in the face as the seagulls all fight.
The seagulls are so tame and used to us by now that they land on us on occasion and even on my lap as well.
Swear to God, there are two of them fighting right on my lap, wings stretched out, battering each other, and all I can see is a blur of white and gray and sometimes specks of orange when their beaks enter the frame of my vision.
The wings don’t hurt because they're so lightweight, but they make that whooshing noise that every flapping wing makes, and it sounds very loud being this close, especially when it smacks me. With them all flapping their wings in the fray, they make the air feel colder.
All we can do is sit there. Gabby is still laughing her ass off, until there is a flurry of black, and something large with wings dive-bombs between us, causing one of the seagulls to screech loudly before it’s hauled off into the air.
“What the hell was that?” I ask, confused.
“Oh no. Yeah, I’m going to go back to the car,” Gabby says, looking nervous, chuckling with unease.
The seagulls don’t even care. They’re still all fighting with each other, and I follow behind her.
After we both escape the cloud of fighting seagulls and creatures now trying to take over the two big platters of food and hauling off pieces of it, we both look back to see what had come between us.
A bald eagle.
A bald freaking eagle had straight up crashed the party and grabbed its own Christmas present, which was one of the seagulls.
I shudder, thinking that if that bird had been super large, I probably would have ended up like that seagull, because nobody would have heard or seen it coming.
“I’m so sorry, oh my God,” I say, thinking Gabby is going to feel bad that one of her friends got eaten.
“It wasn’t Handsome. I’m okay. It’s the circle of life. I know that eagle as well.”
“You know the eagle too?” I ask incredulously, partly in shock.
“I mean… no. I nicknamed him Fisher, and I only see him on occasion. I actually think it’s a female because of how big it is, but I’ve seen her around.”
“So you’re okay with her eating the seagulls?”
“I’m not okay with her eating them and I’m not NOT okay with her eating them. It’s the circle of life, but I would be sad if it was Handsome.”
On the drive home, after we both talk up a storm and crack up at the whole ordeal, we pull into the driveway and I shut off the car.
Taking a deep sigh, I lean my head back against the seat headrest.
“Thank you. This was a beautiful Christmas,” Gabby says softly to me.
When I open my eyes and look over to my right, she’s smiling at me. Her left hand takes my right, which had been resting on my thigh, and she closes her fingers gently around it.
Instantly, my heart starts firing on all cylinders. That little flutter I felt when that girl asked for my autograph and smiled at me, the nervousness I felt around Sarah the first time I was going to have sex with her, all of that pales in comparison to how I feel in this moment.
It’s almost like the first time I kissed Gabrielle.
My heart is on a completely different frequency when it comes to her. My dick is waking up, but my entire body is as well. There’s a strange zinging sensation throughout my whole being, a pull and a yearning to be one with this person.
It’s a need, not only to be with her sexually, but just to be with her. To be in her presence. To protect her. To make her happy.
When my eyes begin to fill with tears, I look away, back through the windshield.
“Alright, get out of the car,” I say, swallowing hard.
Inside the house we both change into more comfortable clothes, and the nervousness buzzing through my entire system is damn near unbearable.
“There you are, Morris!” I call out, smiling.
“Morris, did you miss us?” Gabby walks up beside me, and we both hold the cat between us.
Morris meows and rubs all over Gabby. “He likes me better.”
“Well, you’re nicer and prettier than me,” I say, fully aware I’m putting on charm.
“I know that,” she replies.
We agree to watch a Christmas movie, and she sits to my right on the couch, Morris nestled between us.
My arm is stretched out along the back of the couch, and she’s wearing this comfortable pink shirt that hangs long on her body.
When we were together, she used to wear my shirts like that, nothing under them.
No panties, nothing. Long enough that no one could tell unless she bent over and gave me a heart attack.
My lips suddenly feel dry and I lick them. I can’t stop glancing at her. I’m so horny I feel downright unstable. My heart has been pacing hard since the drive home, and my cock is throbbing like it’s ready to grow legs and start line dancing.
By the time the movie ends, the tension is so thick.
Gabby looks over at me. I swallow.
“Merry Christmas. I’m going to go to bed,” she says, standing and stretching.
Disappointment tunnels through me.
“Aww. You don’t want to watch something else?” I ask, trying hard not to sound clingy.
“I’m exhausted. We had a really full day,” she smiles.
Rising from the couch, I stretch too. “Did you really enjoy it?”
“Yeah, I did actually. Felt very Christmassy,” she giggles.
Damn… that random woman in the park has nothing on Gabby. Gabby’s giggles are the cutest in the world, especially when she’s tired. And the more tired she gets, the sexier those giggles sound.
And just like that, I’m rock hard again. God, if I don’t come in the next 30 minutes, I’m going to explode.
Why is she staring at me like that?
The way she’s looking at me makes every hair on my body stand on end. I feel hot. I can’t stop gulping. My dick won’t stop throbbing.
I want her so damn bad.
Maybe she’ll let me hug her.
Maybe she’s waiting for me to make a move.
She’s not saying anything. She’s just staring at me, probably thinking the same thing I am.
Right now everything is awkward, and neither of us wants to be the one to take the first step. But I lean in to hug her, and she just stands there at first, arms still at her sides.
“Thanks for hanging out with me,” I say, and I feel her arms slowly lift to encircle me.
“Thanks for taking me to see my dad. And to the market.”
We just hold each other like that for a while. She can definitely feel my erection pressing against her. I try to control my breathing, but it’s useless.
“Oh yeah!” she exclaims suddenly, leaning back and smiling up at me. “I did get you something.”
She steps out of my arms, leaving this cool empty space where she was just a second ago.
“I actually got you something too,” I say.
Man, I was so absorbed with my time spent with her being my gift today that I just about forgot the gift I have for her. But I’m actually more than surprised she got something for me.
We walk over to the Christmas tree. Gabby pulls out a small gift and hands it to me. I take it, then reach under the tree and pull out a bigger gift for her.
I brace myself, half-expecting a bag of coals or a handwritten note telling me to go to hell.
She takes my gift and I hers.
As I rip open the intricately wrapped gift, she smiles, waiting patiently.
There’s a small cardboard box. Inside the small box is a hand-carved wooden keychain shaped like a cat paw. On the back she burned in tiny lettering: “For Morris’s other favorite human.”
“Awww. This is… wow. The nerve of you,” I smile big, relishing the thought.
Only she could give me a gift so silly and yet so thoughtful.
She opens the box from me and her face does this slow bloom of surprise.
“Oh… my God. No… wow. Haha! Wow!” she beams in delight.
Inside is a custom pillow-sized plushie of Handsome the seagull, complete with a tiny collar around his fluffy neck engraved with his name: “Handsome.”
Under the plushie is a folded hoodie. At first it just looks soft and gray, but when she takes it out, it unfolds into a full seagull hoodie.
The hood is designed like a gull’s head, with a soft yellow beak stitched at the front, black eyes on the sides, and even little feathery tufts.
The sleeves have fabric wings attached that flutter when she moves her arms.
Her mouth drops open.
“Oh my God…” she whispers.
“Is this… WOW. This is Handsome too!”
“Yeah. I got it custom made,” I grin.
She pulls it on over her pink shirt. The hood sits perfectly, the beak flopping a little over her forehead. When she lifts her arms, the wings spread.
She looks exactly like Handsome.
And suddenly she’s laughing, her whole face lit up the way it used to when life wasn’t beating her down.
Before I broke her heart.
My chest aches from how hard I’m smiling.
When she finally calms down, she hugs the plushie against her chest, looks at me, and says soft as air:
“This is… actually perfect.”
I think I just felt the arrow go through my heart.
She's smiling. I actually made her happy.
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