24. Cameron
CAMERON
“Are you here to steal more of my girlfriend’s cooking?” Mark was like a puppy, on me as soon as I walked in the door that evening. “Do I need to defend my kitchen from my own brother?”
I grunted as he slammed into my stomach, trying to lift me over his shoulder. I grabbed the back of his shirt as I slid off, pulling it over his face.
“Asshole,” Mark muttered affectionately.
I smiled despite the mood I’d been in all day. “That’s what you get for jumping me before I have dinner.”
“Anyway, do you think Nico will move back here? I told him he could stay at the farm for as long as he needed while he looked for an apartment.”
I shook my head.
“Don’t give me that look.” Mark jabbed a finger into my chest. “I thought you two made up.”
“We did.” I brushed him off so I could open the fridge and rummage through the leftovers.
“Then why are you making that grumpy face?” Mark pressed his fists to his hips.
I found a container of Vietnamese spring rolls and immediately claimed them, plus a little bowl of dipping sauce. Josie hardly ever made them because they were so much work, but they were my absolute favorite.
“Don’t eat them all or she’ll be pissed,” Mark said, narrowing his eyes.
“I won’t,” I said before shoving the first one into my mouth. “She won’t.”
Mark shook his head in exasperation. “Don’t crush my dreams with your bad attitude. I just want my best friend back, and he seemed open to it for the first time in years.”
I did my best to school my expression. I really did want my brother to be happy, even if I knew there was no way Nico would be coming back now.
“Promise,” I said, holding out my pinky. “I’m just stressed with all the last-minute work for Creamsicle Day.”
He seemed satisfied once I’d sworn on it and dropped the subject.
We chatted in the low light of the stove light, like we used to when we were teens with our insatiable appetites.
When we heard the rumble of a truck coming down the gravel driveway, we looked at each other in confusion.
Bowie, who’d been curled up on the couch napping, popped her head up and looked at the door in expectation.
“A little late for a delivery,” I said, glancing at the microwave clock. Could Nico have changed his mind? My stomach lurched.
Mark pulled back the curtain in the living room enough to peek outside. “It’s mom and dad.”
I wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.
Even though it had been years since my parents had any say in what I did, that familiar thrill of being caught jolted through my limbs.
I glanced around, assessing if there was any evidence I needed to hide.
Like my heartbreak would be written on my face and they’d know right away what had caused it.
I’d been a mess for almost a year after Nico left for senior year.
Mark, meanwhile, had opened the front door and stepped outside with Bowie at his heels.
When I followed, the headlights of our parents’ RV blinded me before they turned and pulled off to the large parking area in front of the barn.
We weren’t expecting them until Wednesday, but they relished in the freedom they had now that they weren’t tied to the farm twenty-four-seven like they had been for more than forty years.
I’m sure they’d made a spontaneous decision this morning, and I loved that for them.
Mom was first out of the RV, her eyes crinkled with smile lines.
All their hard work meant my parents looked their age in their mid-sixties, but Mom had the energy of a much younger woman.
She ran up the steps and practically leaped into a group hug with the two of us.
Her cloud-white hair was shaved short on the sides and spiked on top, the way she’d always kept it, though now sometimes she added fashion colors.
Mom pinched our cheeks and squeezed us tight until Dad followed her onto the porch.
“Let the kids breathe, dear,” Dad said, but then he immediately joined the family hug.
He and Mom were wearing matching hoodies with the world’s largest rubber band ball on the front.
Dad kept his beard Santa-length these days, and his hair much longer than in his farming days.
If you’ve still got it in your sixties, you’ll understand, he’d said when we told him he looked like St. Nick had been trapped in a mountain cabin without scissors.
Despite the shit we gave them, they were the best parents.
They threw coming-out parties for me and any other kid in town whose parents didn’t give them the reaction they’d been hoping for.
They’d built this farm from two cows to a local dairy empire and hadn’t batted an eye when I told them I wasn’t interested in working with the cows forever.
If anything, they were too invested in our lives.
“I’m so glad we didn’t wake you,” Mom said, finally releasing us and bending down to give Bowie the attention she’d been clamoring for. “I know it’s late.”
“Why didn’t you call?” Mark held the door open and herded us back inside.
“You know your mom likes her surprises,” Dad said, fondness lacing his tone.
Nico’s absence hadn’t been the only reason I’d stayed mostly single for the last decade. I had parents who loved each other so thoroughly, which made it impossible to settle for anything less.
Back in the kitchen, I put the kettle on the stove. Mom would want tea before bed.
“Well, you’re not allowed to bother the cows until the morning,” Mark said.
“If you insist on keeping me from my babies for”—she looked at her watch—“six hours, can we at least crash in the guest room?”
“Of course. We’ll have to change the sheets, though. Nico was just in town visiting.”
When Mark said Nico’s name, my parents glanced in my direction.
No one in this family had the gift of subtlety.
Honestly, I was shocked Mark never said anything to me about my crush on Nico in high school because Mom had picked up on it immediately.
I wasn’t sure I was able to hide the truth from my expression.
“That’s exciting,” my dad said diplomatically.
“I needed his help with the mural.” I rubbed a hand on the back of my neck. “The first artist I hired ghosted me.”
“Oh, you better tell me their name, and I’ll hunt them down. I’ll get everyone on our upcoming cruise to leave them a negative review.”
I laughed. “That won’t be necessary, Mom. Nico took care of it, and it looks even better than what I’d planned.”
Mom didn’t look appeased, but Dad handed her a big clay mug of chamomile, and that was enough to get her off the subject for now.
“We’re excited to see how it turned out,” Dad said with a slap on my back.
It felt great having the whole family in the kitchen together.
But even the word family felt a little hollow without Nico in the room.
It was silly of me to think so, considering he hadn’t promised me anything and I’d gone in with my eyes wide open.
But Nico had always been important to me.
Now I felt his absence with a sharpness deeper than I had in all the years I’d spent without him.
It was late by the time Mark went up to prepare the guest room, but I wasn’t tired. Instead, I slipped outside and found myself on the back porch. I’d always loved the backyard at the farmhouse, especially the little row of trees lining the side of the yard between the house and the barn.
“Honey, that’s a spruce, not a pine.”
Mom leaned against the railing beside me, her mug of chamomile tea cupped in her hands.
“What?” I furrowed my brow.
She gave a soft chuckle. “I know that look. You’re clearly pining.”
I grunted and looked back up at the trees again.
I didn’t want to pine. Pining was fruitless.
Nico’s art career had finally gotten off the ground.
I couldn’t ask him to cut it off at the head just to move to Sleighbell Springs and be with me.
With Frosty’s being a brick-and-mortar business, it’s not like I could follow him wherever his career took him.
“Seriously, you look like a cat pissed in your cereal. Is it Nico?”
“What?” My mouth fell open.
“It must have been hard having him here.”
“It wasn’t.” My brow furrowed. I wished it had been worse because maybe I wouldn’t be so upset by his leaving.
“Ah,” she said in that knowing tone she used when she finally found the puzzle piece she’d been looking for.
I narrowed my eyes.
She met my gaze before taking a slow sip of tea. “Did you tell him how you feel?”
I looked back up at the trees and the starry sky behind them.
“No,” I admitted quietly into the dark.
I hadn’t told him how I felt the first time either, and I was letting things play out exactly the same.
“I heard from Guadalupe this week. She wanted to know how I felt about you two finally getting together. Apparently, Wes mentioned he’d seen you two on a date at The Brew House.”
I put my face into my hands and rested my elbows on the railing, groaning. “Today has been a nightmare.”
“I’m guessing that means you don’t have a statement for the paper?”
A wry laugh burst past my lips. “No, no statement.”
“There, there.” Mom patted my shoulder.
Her dry tone drew another, more genuine laugh from me. My mom had that calming energy that disarmed everyone and made them want to spill their guts. I was only human; I was not immune.
“How did you do it?” My voice cracked under the weight of my emotions. “When the whole town was talking about you and dad? How did you keep it from hurting so much?”
“Oh, honey.” Mom set her mug on the railing and grabbed my hand in hers. “It did hurt. But once I accepted that I didn’t have anything to prove, the rumors stopped getting to me as much. I knew I was making the best choices for myself and for you two boys.”
And then she held my hand while I told her everything. The pretending, the hiding, the way I’d fallen for Nico again, the way I’d felt when he drove away again.
“You know,” Mom said casually, dropping my hand and picking up her tea. “Josie mentioned she wanted a mural on that big wall by the parking lot. I think Bowie deserves to have her portrait done by a real artist.”
“Is that so?”
She sipped her tea and shrugged, like she wasn’t suggesting I jump off a cliff without knowing if I had a parachute. “Think you can make a call?”
“Yeah,” I took a deep breath. “Yeah, I can make a call.”
Mom smiled and squeezed my shoulder with her free hand. “Perfect.”
I knew exactly what I had to do. My phone felt like it was sparking in my hand as I opened up my contacts and hit dial. This time, I wasn’t letting Nico drive away from my life without telling him the truth.