Chapter 16
LEO
It’s been more than a few weeks since that night at Ella’s. At the time, I’d wondered if it would be a turning point in our relationship. I hadn’t intended on fucking her against a wall, but once I saw her in my shirt, I felt like I didn’t have control over my body.
After getting the kids to bed, we’d watched a movie while my clothes dried, and I woke up with her snuggled in my arms. It felt perfect. Kismet. Karma. Me, her, and the kids. Like we were meant to be.
But once Ella woke up, it was clear she was uncomfortable.
She barely made eye contact and ushered me out of there as fast as she could.
I’d intended to ask if I could cook her breakfast, but she made up some bullshit story about work that I knew was a lie.
Violet had woken up fever-free, but I knew Ella wouldn’t be out and about with Violet that fast after a fever.
She just wanted me out of her space, so I left.
And I haven’t spoken to her since.
I continued to occasionally stop in at Purrfect Books, but she was always conveniently tied up.
Lots of imaginary phone calls happened right as I walked in, or she’d tell me a delivery was at the back door.
It was all crap, but it’s not like I could call her out on it.
I know the way Ella’s mind works. While I’ve always been the kind of person who sees most things in black and white, Ella walks through life in the gray areas. She needs time to work through things.
So, I took a step back. Figured I would touch base with her at some point.
But then life got in the way.
One of the water heaters went out at Everlasting.
Then two ovens stopped heating. I had a checkup at the VA in Denver, which ended up lasting two full days because of issues with their computers.
We had two spring storms that dumped close to a foot of snow each time, and both times, it forced me to stay at Everlasting so I could keep track of all the mechanical systems.
I kept thinking I’d contact Ella the next day, but something would end up throwing a kink in my plans. But every night, as I laid awake in bed, I wondered if she was thinking about me.
Once life seemed to finally calm down, it was almost two months after the night at her apartment, and I figured there was no way I could possibly contact Ella without coming off like a complete tool, or like I was trying to get a repeat performance.
I allowed myself one week of melancholy, holed up in my shrine of a home to her, and then I chose to keep moving.
Fortunately, my dipshit brothers and brothers-in-law kept things mildly interesting with a group chat of sheer chaos. I was added back against my will again.
Stone: Alright. Which one of you numb nuts hid a pickle in my house?
Luca: Oh, is THAT what we’re calling it these days, Stone? Gross. That’s my sister you’re talking about.
Stone: Suspect #1.
Alex: Are we talking about an actual pickle? Or like that weird ornament you’re supposed to find on the Christmas tree?
Dom: Katharine tried to start that tradition last year. I hid the damn thing in one of the gutters. It’s bad enough she makes us do that stupid elf.
Sebastian: Elf on the Shelf is big in our house too. Isabella is amazing at creating all these phenomenal scenarios for it. On the rare occasion I’m expected to do it, I just TP the tree.
Stone: I hate that I can’t tell if any of you are trying to redirect the conversation so I don’t realize you’re the asshole that hid a very large and real pickle in one of my floor vents.
Dom: How large?
Stone: The size of my forearm.
Alex: Jammed in the vent?
Stone: Yup.
Luca: If I say it wasn’t me, will you believe me?
Stone: Nope.
Luca: Asshole.
Me: Why assume it was someone in this chat?
Stone: Who else would it be?
Me: You’re assuming the women you all married aren’t capable of pulling a prank. Frankly, didn’t Isabella shove all kinds of shit into the vents of her ex’s apartment?
Sebastian: DUDE I INVITED YOU OVER TO MY HOUSE!
Me: So?
Sebastian: This is how you repay me? By going after my wife?
Me: She’s been my sister for much longer than she’s been your wife. And technically, you invited me to your clubhouse. Not your house.
Dom: Leave it to Leo to home in on a technicality.
Alex: Seb, he’s got a point. Your wife does have quite the little mean streak.
Luca: Do you remember when she set me up to take the fall for that stupid vase that she broke?
Stone: God, even I remember that. Me and Alex couldn’t believe your parents bought it.
Travis: Late to the convo, and happy to say I didn’t jam a pickle into your floor vent, Stone. Definitely not a sentence I ever thought I’d say.
Stone: Noted.
Stone: It is interesting that Leo didn’t deny anything, but turned the blame onto his sister. And he’s the most likely to be able to sneak in and out of someone’s house without being detected.
Dom: That is true. Leo, what do you have to say for yourself?
Me: I’d have no reason to hide a pickle anywhere.
Me: Why a pickle?
Me: How long did it take you to find it?
Me: Was it beginning to mold or decompose?
Me: Couldn’t you smell it?
Me: Why am I the only one asking actual questions?
Stone: Okay, it’s definitely not Leo.
Me: Thank you.
Travis: Leo, Gianna wanted me to tell you that you’re dead to her. Again.
Alex: Uh-oh. Trouble in twin paradise?
Me: What for this time?
Travis: That you still haven’t reached out to Ella since you banged her.
Luca: LEO DID WHAT NOW???
Dom: Holy shit.
Alex: You fucked Ella? Really?
Me: Travis, please tell my sister that YOU are now dead to me.
Travis: Totally worth it, honestly.
Dom: Leo, we need answers. Are you guys back together?
Me: No.
Alex: Was it a one-time thing, or will you be hitting it again?
Me: I don’t know. Probably a one-time thing.
Luca: Why?
Me: It happened weeks ago, and I haven’t reached out since, and she’s obviously pissed if Gianna is now pissed, so I can’t see her willingly giving me another chance.
Stone: How long ago?
Me: Like six or seven weeks ago. Maybe eight.
Alex: I know it’s not the same thing, but Natalie gave me multiple chances when I kept fucking it up. Don’t count yourself out just yet.
Dom: Dude, she was pregnant with your baby. Not the same.
Luca: Leo and Ella have decades of history though. It may not be a bun in the oven, but it has to count for something. We need to coach him on how to court Ella. He’s bound to be a dipshit if we don’t.
Dom: With all due respect, Luca, the only one here who didn’t truly fuck things up with their wife at least once was Sebastian. Mostly. Although you did forget to tell her you owned her building until you’d moved her into your house.
Sebastian: Are we pointing out dumbass ways? Alright. You didn’t ask your wife to marry you, Dom. You fucking TOLD HER TO.
Alex: Did you really expect anything less from Mr. Control Freak?
Dom: I don’t think you want me taking a trip down memory lane with all of your transgressions, Alessio.
Me: If it helps, Stone, I saw Luca on your street three days ago carrying a grocery bag.
Luca: YOU MOTHERFUCKER
Stone: Payback is a bitch, Luca.
Luca: You had it coming after you switched my protein powder with all-purpose flour. You try dry-scooping a mouthful of flour and see how fast you retaliate.
Travis: How do I unsubscribe from this chat?
Alex: You married into it. Most of us are forced by blood.
Knowing Gianna is pissed at me makes me nervous.
Usually I can tell when she’s upset, and we’ll talk it out.
But right now I don’t feel a connection to her.
After texting Travis to find out what times G will be at home, I take a page out of her playbook, and show up out of the blue one evening bearing one of her favorites: mint chocolate chip ice cream.
When she answers the door with a narrow glare, I hold up the bag of ice cream pints. “I come with a gift. An offering.”
Propping her shoulder against the door, she crosses her arms over her chest to look at me with a cocked eyebrow. “Oh? And do you feel you deserve to be forgiven?”
I tilt my head to look at her. “I never said it was about forgiveness.”
Gia rolls her eyes. “It should be. You’re an asshole, you know that?”
“Yes,” I sigh. “I’m aware.”
Her eyes soften slightly as she moves out of the doorway. “Come on. Carson will be excited to have some ice cream before bed.”
As I step into her house, I bend down to kiss the top of her head, then poke her side right where I know she’s ticklish.
She responds by sticking her fingers into my armpit, and I throw an arm over her shoulders so her face is jammed against me.
“What’s that? Oh, you love me, too? That’s so nice, Gianna. So sweet.”
“Uncle Leo!” Carson shouts, bounding toward me. He’s an eclectic mix of my sister and Travis. He’s type-A like Gianna, but outgoing like Travis. He has our eyes, but Travis’s hair color and complexion. It never ceases to amaze me how genetics work. “Is that ice cream?”
“It is,” I tell him as I bend down to scoop him into my arms. The movement makes my leg cramp, but it’s worth it when Carson squeals in excitement. I place him on a kitchen chair, standing, while Gianna grabs spoons and bowls. “No bowls needed. I got us each our own pint.”
“My own pint!” Carson shouts gleefully, jumping up and down. He’s wearing Spiderman pajamas, with a hole in one knee, and his chaotic energy makes me grin.
“You will be having a small portion, sir,” Gianna chides. She looks at me in disapproval. “He has school tomorrow, Leo. I’d like him to go to bed before midnight if possible.”
I wince as I realize the error in my ways. “Whoops. Sorry, kiddo. Mom rules this house, not me.”
“Aw, man,” Carson says with a pout as he drops his butt to the chair. “No fair.”
Gianna crouches next to the chair. “I guess you can go to bed with no ice cream, then. Would that be better?”
“No!” he shouts.
“Okay, I’ll give you a little bit, then.”
“Yes, Mommy.” Carson beams up at his mom, and my heart cracks a little.
I’d never really planned on or expected to have a family.
It wasn’t something I considered to be definite.
If it happened, great. If it didn’t, I was happy being an uncle.
But every moment with Ella, Oliver, and Violet has made me want more.
For the first time, I’m jealous of my sister because she’s a mom.
Travis gets home as Carson is finishing his ice cream, and dutifully takes him up to bed for the night, leaving me with my sister. She doesn’t speak, only raises her eyebrows at me. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” she asks.
“Like you’re waiting for me to drop a bomb on you.”
“You showed up here unannounced, Leo. Clearly you have something you want to talk about. You’ve never appeared here for no reason, so spill it.” Shit. She’s right.
I blow out a breath, scrubbing a hand over my face, then sliding it around to grip the back of my neck. “I think I accidentally fucked up, and I don’t know what I should do next.”
“Accidentally.”
“Yes.”
“How does one accidentally fuck up, Leo?” she asks, her voice deceptively calm. This is when Gia is the scariest, if I’m being honest.
“I need to know how much you know before I continue,” I stammer. “I’m not sure where to start.”
Her eyes narrow. “How about you start with the weeks after you banged my best friend against her apartment wall, then didn’t call her once?”
My hackles rise as I feel myself go on the defensive. “I showed up a couple of times a week at the bookstore for a bit, but she wouldn’t see me. I assumed she wouldn’t answer my call either.”
“But you didn’t try.”
“No,” I admit. “And before you ask, I didn’t text either.
I wanted to see her. I knew she was freaked about what had happened, and I knew anything on the phone wouldn’t help matters.
So I kept going into the bookstore, but she was never available.
I figured if she could see me, she’d see that I wasn’t going anywhere.
That I wanted to keep seeing her. And then life happened, and all hell broke loose at Everlasting.
I basically lived there for two straight weeks, and stupid shit kept breaking, and I never had time to make it back to Purrfect Books.
So now it’s been like two months since we were together, and I don’t know what I should do. ”
Closing my eyes, I tilt my head back to rest against the top of the chair. I wait patiently as Gianna processes my info dump, and she finally says, “Have you actively been seeing that therapist this entire time?”
I nod. “I have. We did telehealth the weeks I was at Everlasting.”
“Does he know about Ella and the kids?” she asks.
“He does.”
“What does he say?”
“He doesn’t say anything specific about Ella, but he’s helped me work through some of the anger I have with her over our breakup.”
“So you can understand where she was coming from all those years ago?”
I sigh. “Yeah. She commented once that she thought we may have both been hearing what we wanted to hear for the final year or two of our relationship, and I can see that now. I kept thinking if I could just get her to North Carolina, everything would be fine. She’d be there, I’d come home to her.
We’d get married, and everything would turn out as it was supposed to.
But I wasn’t factoring in how abundantly clear she’d been about moving.
I wasn’t taking into consideration how I’d told her I wouldn’t reenlist, and then pulled the rug out from under her when I did it anyway.
I was being a selfish prick, and expected her to come to me.
For her to make all of the changes to make our relationship work. ”
Gianna nods. “It took me quite some time to see it from her eyes as well. I was so hurt for you, but she pulled away from me too. I didn’t realize how painful it would be for her to be surrounded by our family.
Pulling away from everyone was the easiest thing for her.
I can’t imagine how it must have felt at the time. ”
“I really want to talk to her, G. I want to tell her that I’m here. I want to be with her. But now it’s been so long that I don’t know how to move forward.”
“What if she doesn’t want to get involved with you again?” Gianna asks quietly.
“Then I’ll have to be okay with that. All I know is I’ve been in love with her since I was fourteen. Even when we’ve been apart, no woman has ever caught my eye. I have to at least try, right?”
Gia gives me a small smile. “I’m rooting for you, big brother.”