7. Chapter Seven
Chapter Seven
Kat
Ihad managed to not lose my jacket. That was the biggest success I had for the day so far.
But it was early, only ten. Maybe it would get better.
Tam was around for the morning, but then she was heading off for her mini vacation around Australia.
I didn’t really need her until next week, so she’d come early to sightsee. It was perfect, really.
What was really perfect was that when I came back from a not AS bad session of quality time with the toilet—I was practicing being able to kneel on the concrete when no one was watching, since I’d need to soon enough—there was a giant steaming mug of milky, sweet as fuck tea.
Tam was a fucking angel. I could kiss her.
It was still rather quiet around here, and I was enjoying keeping my headphones off every now and again, just listening to the silence.
I worked through lunch, happy enough with the fact that I kept all of that tea down.
It was one of the few things that consistently stayed down, nowadays.
I knew I’d lost weight—my pants were loose. But that’s what they made belts for.
I’d been having a super great day, all things considered.
I’d gotten a ton done, and figured out something that would make the code rewrite a bit faster.
And I’d figured out a couple of pieces of code that had been stumping my team back home.
It made me feel a little less like I had abandoned them, even though I knew they didn’t really need me there. I’d set it up that way.
But all good will came crashing to a halt. When I realized I wasn’t alone in the garage anymore. My heart rate kicked up, and I knew I had decided I needed to talk to him. But I had kind of been hoping it wouldn’t be so soon. Oh, well, Kat. Buck up, kiddo.
“Andrew, wait up,” I shouted out my door.
He stopped just before the hallway, not turning around.
I thought he was deciding whether to talk to me or not.
I hoped he’d let me say what I needed to say.
He finally turned around slowly, a hard look in his eye.
I didn’t like it. That wasn’t the Andrew, the friend, that I knew. A tear slipped out. He rolled his eyes.
“What do you want, Kat,” he asked, like I was wasting his time. Fair enough, not talking was definitely wasting his time.
“I just wanted to say. I’m not saying I deserved what you SAID to me, but I understand that I didn’t…
deserve the benefit of the doubt, from you,” I managed to get out, a sob leaking through only once.
I pressed my fist to my mouth for just a moment before continuing.
The tears weren’t going to stop, anyway.
“I have shown a pattern of abandonment when things get tough. And I know that. And I also know that effort doesn’t matter, only outcome does. And I failed, that night,” I forced out. The sobs were coming quicker now.
“I only needed to make it to a phone. That’s all I needed to do.
And I couldn’t do it. I didn’t think I should ask the busy nurses in the ER for a phone, so I wandered further into the hospital.
I was going to call Tam since I had her phone number memorized, and then she could call you and his family.
So that you guys could come to the hospital.
So, you could not worry,” I kept going, sounding so very, very small.
“But I didn’t make it. I failed. So, I apologize.
For showing you the type of behavior that would lead you to believe I’d walked away.
But I do want to say, I didn’t walk away.
It doesn’t matter, I know that. I wasn’t there.
I know that’s what matters. But I NEED you to know I didn’t walk away.
I just… didn’t make it to the phone. I collapsed.
I couldn’t make it the rest of the way. I failed,” I finished.
I stood there sobbing, knowing I needed to walk away now.
I hadn’t said any of it to get an apology from him. I just… wanted my friend to know.
He scoffed. I looked up.
“You expect me to believe you collapsed? Kat you weren’t admitted to the hospital. Try again,” he sneered, turning to walk away. I needed to… say it. Even though he’d hear everything I felt about it, because I couldn’t hide how broken it made me feel to wake up alone.
“I never woke up. I went into surgery. And… I was… a Jane Doe. For five days while they tried to bring me out of the anesthesia and sedation without me fighting them and screaming for Henry. So, by the time they managed to bring me out of it slowly enough, it had been five days. And I woke up… alone. Because no one knew I was there,” I finished on a whisper.
I couldn’t handle anymore. I needed to leave.
So, I turned and fled.
I locked myself in the bathroom, despite the fact that no one would see me sobbing in my conference room. Since no one was here. I honestly thought I might need the toilet again, when I’d thought we were slowly weaning ourselves off of this toxic relationship. Damn.
Once I got my breathing under control, though, I realized I hadn’t needed it after all. Excellent. Now, back to work. At least that was over. If he didn’t believe me, that was on him. I’d never once lied to him. But I really wanted him to believe me.
I understood that Henry was his best friend and had been since they were very little.
Before I met them, by years. But Andrew had been my friend too, at least recently.
And I wanted my friend back. I wanted my friend to BELIEVE me.
But I also totally understood him siding with Henry.
And honestly, I was so happy Henry had such a loyal friend.
I just wished I hadn’t made that loyalty need to be turned on me.
So, I headed back to work. And found… another steaming cup of tea. Tam was a goddamn sorceress. That’s all I had to say on the matter. I sniffled into it for a bit before being sucked back into my coding.
Tam stopped by some time later, to say bye before she left. She was so excited. I didn’t tell her about what had happened, and me looking like I’d been crying was a normal occurrence nowadays. Even if the renewed bruised nose and black eyes made it look ten times worse than it was.
“And remember to check your calendar while I’m gone. I have everything in there, and you do have some teleconferences and such coming up. Alright?” she reminded me.
“Yes, mother,” I said, shooing her out the door, eager to get back to my code. I was very good with my calendar. I checked it every day. I could manage myself for a few days. I had been doing it most of my life, in fact. Thank you very much.
She gave me a quick hug, then was gone.
Taking a deep breath, I managed to FINALLY get myself to send an email to Liz. About upping our number of appointments each week. I’d need to make some serious progress to make my statement.
Against Donovan, the fucking bastard. Fucking SUING ME bastard.
She sent back some dates and times, and I added them to my calendar.
That I then checked, just to make sure, just because Tam had gotten into my head. No one could blame me for being randomly paranoid about random things at the moment, that was for sure.
I had some teleconferences tomorrow, at odd hours thanks to the time difference with L.A., and I had a meeting the day after with Becca. My new stylist. God FUCKING dammit. At least it would be a tele-meeting, because I couldn’t handle Henry’s sister in person. There was no way. Fuck.
I buried my head in my hands, trying to figure out a way I could put this off.
But I had some events coming up in London, culminating in the opening.
And I honestly needed more help than ever.
Most day I was lucky I just put on all my clothes, let alone dressed correctly for a different continent’s business but make it black tie attire.
I was doomed either way. But as always, I’d do what was best for my company.
That was all I could do.