52. Chapter Fifty-Two
Chapter Fifty-Two
Kat
When I awoke again, I was utterly unsurprised by the fact that I’d cried myself back to sleep. I was still exhausted, and it didn’t seem to be that late, so I wasn’t sure why I’d woken up again.
Until I felt Henry twitch.
His whole body seized for just a second before relaxing again, and a deep frown was on his face. That little crease was not so little at the moment. His head fell to the side away from me, even as his arms tightened around me to an almost painful extent.
He whimpered. The tiniest, most helpless sound I’d ever heard. And his breathing picked up.
Forcing myself to breathe deeply, to stay calm, to not leave him in this moment, I traced his hairline gently, push his hair back and away from his face. He whimpered again and leaned into my hand.
He was wildly warm.
This had happened the other night, too.
“Nuhuh, Henry. You’re here with me baby. Don’t go there. Stay with me. You’re safe. I’ve got you. Don’t let it take you away from me,” I murmured in his ear before pressing kisses all along his jaw, his cheek, his forehead, his nose.
I shifted slightly so we weren’t touching quite so much, trying to get him to cool down. He always ran warm, but this was something else.
He whimpered again, then groaned softly.
“Kat?” he asked, very much still asleep. I kept stroking his face with my hand so he could feel me.
“Yes, sweetheart. I’m right here. I’m real. That’s not real, baby. Do you hear me? It’s not real. You’re in bed with me. We’re alone. We’re safe. You’re safe,” I repeated.
Finally, blessedly, that little crease disappeared and his breathing evened out again.
“Okay… Safe…” he murmured before completely falling asleep again. This was the second time he’d had a nightmare with me. And the second night we’d spent together. I was starting to think he had them every night.
And he hadn’t told me.
I wouldn’t bring it up since he clearly didn’t want me to know. And there was plenty I didn’t want him to know. But it brought me a strange sense of satisfaction and peace that I could bring him out of it. Call him back from whatever dark place his mind was repeatedly taking him.
All without waking him.
After that, though, I couldn’t fall back asleep.
I didn’t want him going back to that place without someone here to help him.
I didn’t want him hurting. So, I just laid there.
Listening to his slow and steady breathing, the solid drumbeat of his heart, the rhythm of his pulse.
I luxuriated in the feel of his skin on mine, his hair between my fingers, the soft happy noise he made when I started running my hands through it.
Eventually, those big sleepy blue eyes blinked at me slowly. He smiled lazily at me.
“You stayed,” he whispered, sounding completely surprised. That hurt. I didn’t smile back.
“Not like that, Kat. I just wasn’t sure if you actually needed to work or were just trying to avoid me,” he said carefully.
Looking down, I mumbled, “I haven’t left you a single time while you were asleep since Vegas. I didn’t want to do that to you again.” I could feel him thinking. Not sure what to say. Finally, he settled on something.
“I know, baby girl. I wasn’t… fuck. When did all of this get so convoluted?
” he asked quietly, sounding frustrated and unsteady.
I looked up at him, knowing I couldn’t do more of this.
I was done being emotional today. There was way too much to deal with and way too much to do. I nudged him gently and smiled.
“I think maybe sometime around the time we met,” I joked. He rolled his eyes. But I wasn’t done.
“The first time,” I finished.
He laughed.