Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
W hereas Autumn Grace had screamed her way into the world only hours after Cloe had arrived at the hospital, Holly Joy came in without a peep a good fourteen hours after Sweetie went into labor. She had a halo of see-through golden fuzz and eyes that stared inquisitively at anyone who held her as if to say “And you are?”
“I’m your Auntie Elle.” Noelle touched her tiny little wrinkled hand that rested on the receiving blanket swaddled around her. “I’m the one you’ll come to for advice on pretty much everything—fashion, baking, social media, boys.”
Hallie leaned over Noelle’s shoulder. “Not boys, Holly. We don’t want you serial dating like Auntie Elle.”
Any other time, Noelle would have been offended by the comment. But even after a sleepless night, she was just too happy and content to care. Not only because she was holding her beautiful new niece, but also because of the time she’d just spent with a handsome cowboy who had taught her the difference between sex with the wrong guy and sex with the right one.
Kenny had made her feel cheap, humiliated, and ugly.
Casey had made her feel unique, worthy, and beautiful.
Even as inexperienced as she was, she knew the night they’d shared hadn’t just been sex. It had been so much more. She was a little too gun shy to put a label on what he had made her feel. Probably because Hallie was right. She had been a serial dater. And even worse, a serial faller in love.
But this felt different.
What Casey made her feel was completely different than what all those other men had made her feel. She had cared about those men and enjoyed being with them. But not one of them had evoked the intense emotions that Casey did.
And always had.
Ever since she’d known him, her feelings for him had been strong. She’d spent her life telling herself that it was hate, but now she realized she’d just been lying to herself. She hadn’t hated Casey at all. She’d hated the way he held her attention whenever he stepped into a room. Whether it was their kindergarten classroom or the Hellhole bar, he became her entire focus. At any age, she could have described his entire wardrobe in detail, from his favorite Wilder Wildcats football jersey with the frayed neckline to his favorite pair of jeans with the hole in the back left pocket. She’d known when he got a haircut and when he needed one. She’d known when he first got acne. Started shaving. Grew an inch. Developed muscles.
If his name came up in nearby conversations, she’d stop whatever she was doing to eavesdrop. Usually, it was girls talking about their dates with him. Jealousy had been her constant companion. She’d labeled that jealousy hate and made him out to be a bully. The truth was that she’d been the bully. She had treated him like her worst enemy, bad-mouthing him every chance she got, tattling to teachers if he so much as spit on the sidewalk, calling him an emotionless womanizer and much worse.
He never once got angry back. Never once lost his teasing smile.
Even when he was hurting.
Until recently, she hadn’t realized how much he’d been hurting. But she should have known. She should have looked past the teasing smile and carefree lover boy and seen the lonely boy who hadn’t had the motherly love she’d grown up with. She couldn’t imagine what her childhood would have been like without her mama and grandma to soften the gruffness of her daddy.
Casey hadn’t had that. He’d dealt with his motherless life the only way he knew how—by smiling and looking for the softness and love he craved in the arms of women. How could Noelle possibly blame him for that? How could anyone blame him?
And yet, just the thought of him continuing with his playboy ways made her feel sick to her stomach. She didn’t want any other woman getting what he had given her. She didn’t want him kissing other women like he’d kissed her. Didn’t want him caressing, or holding, or teasing anyone but her.
Maybe, after their night together, he wouldn’t want that either. Maybe he’d realize what she had.
They were a perfect match.
It was hilariously ironic when she thought about it. All this time, she’d been searching high and low for the right man for her and he’d been right under her nose.
“Give Holly Joy back to her daddy and mama, Noelle.” Mimi’s words pulled Noelle from her thoughts. “It’s time we let Decker and Sweetie have Holly Joy to themselves.”
Sweetie and Decker were lying together in the hospital bed, looking exhausted but happy. They looked even happier when Noelle gently nestled Holly Joy between them. It was a picture-perfect moment Noelle couldn’t pass up. She pulled out her cellphone and snapped numerous pictures.
“Please don’t be posting those on your social media, Elle,” Sweetie said. “I look like hell.”
Decker leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I think you look more beautiful than you have ever looked in your life, Sweets.”
The loving comment made Noelle think about all the sweet things Casey had said to her the night before. Since being nice had never been her and Casey’s relationship, she couldn’t help having her doubts. Had he meant them or were they just part of his seduction? Words he said to all the women he’d had sex with?
The doubts continued circling around in her head as she helped Hallie and Jace gather up the stuffed animals and flowers the family had brought so Decker and Sweetie wouldn’t have to worry about them when they left the hospital in the morning.
“Hallie and I will drop all this by Decker and Sweetie’s,” Jace said. “And we’ll pick up the dogs from Melba too.” Since Sweetie’s labor had been so long, Melba had picked up Gilley and Buck from the bed-and-breakfast and Sweetie and Decker’s dogs, George Strait and Dixie Chick, from their house and taken them home.
“Thanks, Jace.” Sweetie glanced around. “Thank y’all for being here.”
“No need to thank us,” Mimi said. “That’s what family does.”
“Of course it is.” Mama leaned over to give Holly a kiss on her head. “Liberty just texted and said she, Jesse, Belle, and Corbin will leave Austin right after the wedding and will be here in the morning to drive y’all home. And Cloe and Rome will be here tonight to see Holly Joy—after they drop off Autumn Grace at Holiday Ranch.” Sweetie’s labor had been so long Cloe hadn’t been able to be there for the birth. Autumn Grace had made it very clear she didn’t like being without her mama . . . and mama’s milk.
Once everyone exchanged hugs and goodbyes, they filed out of the room. Noelle had held off calling Casey because she hadn’t wanted her family listening in. But once in her car, she didn’t hesitate to dial his number and was thoroughly disappointed when he didn’t answer. His voicemail clicked on saying leave a message and she got a little flustered.
“Hey. It’s me . . . your friendly neighborhood baker. I just wanted to call and tell you that Sweetie had a beautiful little girl. Holly Joy. So . . . that’s awesome.” She rolled her eyes at how stupid she was sounding. “Anyway, call me when you get a chance. I’m going home to get some sleep.”
After being up for almost two days straight, she had no trouble falling asleep. It was dark by the time she woke up. She immediately reached for her cellphone to checked for texts or missed calls from Casey. She had numerous texts from the sister loop of Sweetie sending pictures of Holly Joy and her sisters exclaiming over them, but none from Casey. It was starting to annoy her. Why wasn’t he texting or calling? Had something happened out at the ranch?
She quickly texted him. Is everything okay at the ranch?
It didn’t take long for her to get an answer. Her phone pinged almost immediately with an incoming text.
I wouldn’t know I’m not there.
Her heart beat faster as she imagined him standing on her front porch. She smiled as she texted him back. Exactly where are you?
Her phone pinged with a reply. Hellhole.
Her smile faded. He was at the Hellhole? What was he doing at the Hellhole? She started to text the question, but then decided she didn’t want to come off as some clingy girlfriend. He’d probably just had dinner there and was having a couple beers with his friends. Casey had a lot of friends. Noelle should just tell him to stop by when he was on his way home.
That’s what a confident woman would do.
Unfortunately, Noelle had never been confident where Casey was concerned.
An hour later, she was parking in the Hellhole’s parking lot.
As always, Bobby Jay had gone all out for Christmas. The restaurant and bar was covered with strings of multicolored lights, and huge wreaths made out of beer cans hung on the doors. Inside, twinkle lights and garland hung along the walls and over the long bar. A tall artificial tree covered in mini cowboy hats, chili pepper lights, and loops of rope stood in the corner next to the stage. On the stage, a band wearing Santa caps over the crowns of their cowboy hats was playing a Morgan Wallen song.
While Noelle took in all the festive decorations, she kept an eye out for Casey. It didn’t take long to find him. He stood at the bar with one of his friends . . . a female friend. Because men can have female friends—female friends who lean in and whisper in their ear. Friends whisper to each other all the time.
They just don’t usually kiss them right on the lips.
Jealous shot through Noelle like it had been injected straight into her veins. She didn’t hesitate to make her way over to the bar where Casey and his not-so-friendly friend were kissing. In his defense, Casey looked like he was trying to push the blonde away . . . until Noelle showed up. There was stunned surprise in those sea-blue orbs before they slammed shut and he tugged the blonde closer, deepening the kiss.
It was quite obvious what he was doing.
She crossed her arms. “You about finished making your point?”
He drew away from the blonde and turned to her. He did the innocent lip-biting thing that Noelle hated. “Point? What point would that be, Smelly Ellie?” His words weren’t slurred, but they were spoken slowly and deliberately. The way people did when they’d had too much to drink. He nodded at the blonde tucked under his arm. “Do you know Sheila from Odessa? She’s a lovely gal who likes tequila, Appaloosa horses, and delivers bread and cookies to grocery stores. And speaking of cookies . . . this is my girlfriend, Noelle Holiday, who smells like fresh-baked cookies because she’s the best baker this side of the Pecos. Maybe one day you’ll deliver her cookies.”
Sheila turned to him. “Your girlfriend?”
Casey blinked. “Did I say girlfriend. I meant fake girlfriend. Strictly fake. Well, maybe not strictly.” His smile slipped. “There was the other night when we weren’t strictly at all. But then I found out that her mother broke both my mama’s and daddy’s hearts and I think one more Remington heart being broken by a Holiday is one too many.”
Noelle stared at him. “What are you talking about?” She glanced at the half-empty bottle of tequila on the bar. “How much have you had to drink?”
Before he could answer, Sheila jumped in. “Wait a second. You’re Noelle Holiday from Holiday Kitchen ?”
“That she is!” Casey said. “And I’m her cowboy hero . . . who hasn’t had nearly enough to drink.” He grabbed the bottle and poured himself a shot. He downed it with a quick backward jerk of his head. He went to grab the bottle again, but Noelle grabbed it first.
“You’ve had enough, Casey.”
“She’s right. You have had enough.” Sheila grabbed the purse sitting on the bar. “And so have I. I’m not going to be the reason Noelle Holiday breaks things off with her cowboy hero.”
When she was gone all the humor fell from Casey’s face. “Go home, Ellie.”
“I’m not going home until we talk.”
He stared at her for a long moment before he took her arm and pulled her to the door. Once outside in the parking lot, he released her and flexed his hand as if it had been burned.
“You want to talk. So talk.”
“I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to prove to yourself that last night wasn’t special. That it didn’t mean anything. But it was special, Casey. You know it and so do I.”
She didn’t know what she expected him to say, but it wasn’t what he said. “You’re right. It was one of the best fucks I’ve ever had.”
She slapped him so hard across the face that his head snapped back. When he looked at her, his smile was gone and his eyes were clearer.
He rubbed his jaw. “Good one, Ellie. I deserved that.” He held out his arms. “In fact, you have every right to kick my ass.” His arms fell back to his sides and a defeated look entered his eyes. “Unfortunately, it won’t change the fact that you gave your blossom to the wrong guy. I’m no hero, Ellie. I’m more of an antihero. A pathetic loser who will fuck up your life if you don’t stay away from me. So go on home to your loving mama and daddy and leave me to—”
She cut him off. “Wallow in your own self-pity?” She snorted. “I should kick your ass. I should kick your ass from one end of this town to the other. Because someone needs to knock some sense into you. I don’t need a cowboy hero. All I need is a man who is willing to love me like I deserve to be loved. But you’re right about one thing, that man isn’t you. I get that you’ve had a hard life. Well, welcome to the world, Casey Remington! Lots of people have hard lives. Like you, I have a gruff daddy who struggled to show his love to his six daughters. Yes, I have a loving mama and grandma, but I also had five siblings I never felt like I could measure up to. But you don’t see me giving up on love and life to sit on the whiny chair like a big-assed baby. I keep fighting for what I want—not to prove anything to them, but to prove something to myself. But you don’t seem to want to prove anything to anyone except that you’re a good-for-nothing cowboy who crawls from one bed to the other trying to replace the love you didn’t get from your mama!”
Casey’s eyes widened. “That’s not why I get with women. And are you trying to say your life was just as hard as mine? The hell it was! Your daddy won. He found the woman he loved while my daddy married his second choice and ruined all our lives.”
She stared at him. But before she could ask what he was talking about, Reid Mitchell stepped out of the bar. He glanced between them and Noelle realized they must look like two WWE wrestlers getting ready for a throw down.
“Is there a problem, Ms. Holiday?”
Casey answered before she could. “There’s no problem. I was just leaving.” He turned and headed for his truck. She knew he wouldn’t turn back around. She knew he was walking away for good.
“You go ahead and run, Casey Remington!” she yelled after him. “You’re right! You don’t deserve me! I certainly don’t want a man who can’t even believe in himself!” He was in his truck and backing out, but she kept yelling. “In fact, I don’t need any man! I can make it just fine on my own! I am woman, hear me roar!”
She actually made a pathetic roaring sound . . . which quickly turned into a choked sob as she watched Casey pull away.
A second later, she was crying like a whiny big-assed baby in Reid’s arms.