Chapter Eight
“What’s wrong with you? They were just being nice.”
“They were trying to pick you up for a threesome or something.”
“Okay. That doesn’t mean I was going to go with them. But if I did want to go back to anyone’s room, I’m an adult. I can handle myself. I’ve been living on my own without you there to hold my hand.”
I stomp off and leave him standing at the exit by himself.
Screw that. I want to have a good time. I down my beer and put my name down for karaoke.
While I wait for my name to be called, I throw darts with Tom and Jenny Lynn.
They were high school sweethearts and have been married for twenty-five years.
They have two sons and have mentioned several times that if it doesn’t work out between Justice and me that their boys are single.
This makes twice in a day he’s pretended we’re together. He confuses the hell out of me. It’s like he won’t allow himself to be with me, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either. The whole thing is mentally taxing, and for the rest of the night I want to get drunk and ignore him.
Hard to do with him perched at the end of the bar like a fucking barn owl hunting its prey. Not to mention how dangerously sexy he looks sitting there all broody. Rugged. Tempting. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a man.
He’s protective. Loyal to the club. Has a sweet spot for me though he likes to pretend he doesn’t.
I’ve tried so hard to move on from what some would call a crush, but it goes much deeper than that.
I’ve loved him from the moment my brother brought him over that first day.
Even if I didn’t understand what I was feeling or know what love really was, I felt it the second his eyes met mine.
I know he’s worried because of my father and my brother, but they know him. They know he’d never intentionally hurt me. He’d give his life to save mine if warranted.
“So how did the two of you meet?” Jenny Lynn nudges me in the rib.
“Oh, that.” I laugh softly and peel at the label on my beer bottle. “He’s my brother’s best friend.”
“How’d he take that?”
“He doesn’t know.”
“That must be hard.”
“Something like that.”
“Ooh, they’re starting. You ready to bust a move?” She laughs. “God, I’m showing my age with that, huh?”
“A little.” I wince.
“It’s okay. My boys remind me all the time how uncool I am.”
“I’m sure when they hear about your night you’ll gain some points back on the cool scale.”
I take a sip of my beer and look back to Justice, but he’s gone. Did he leave?
I glance around the room as the karaoke contestants start off with the first song. ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.’
“Excuse me,” I tell my new friend.
Where is he? Why didn’t he tell me he was leaving?
I pull out my phone and check to see if he’s tried to call or sent a text.
There’s nothing except some notifications that I have a new follower on Mr. Tinkles’ account and my Only Coeds has a new subscriber.
Shit. I didn’t even consider him making accounts to follow me.
I’d think it was sweet if I weren’t so concerned about what he might think about me now.
What he might be reporting to my father right this minute.
I check the bathrooms. Nothing.
Maybe he got pissed and went back to the room.
I step outside the bar, and there he is leaning against the side of the building, foot propped behind him, smoking a cigarette. Relief washes over me.
He sees me but doesn’t smile or speak. I can’t get a read on him.
“Hey.” I test the temperature of his mood. “It’s almost our turn.”
He takes a hard drag. Smoke curls between us. His gaze is dark. Primal. “Go back inside, Bean.” His tone is weary. Filled with frustration.
“Are you…are you mad at me?”
“Nope.”
“You seem mad.”
“I’m not mad, Neva.”
He’s being cold, and I don’t like this side of him.
The door opens. “There you are. They just called your name,” Jenny Lynn tells me.
“I’ll be right there.”
“Okay.” She gives me a thumbs up and goes back in.
Justice snubs his cigarette out and follows me back into the bar. “Don’t expect me to sing with you,” he grits in my ear.
A shiver courses down my spine at his closeness. At the warmth of his breath against my skin.
“That’s fine.” I leave him where he stands and go over to the small stage where my new friends are waiting their turns.
The DJ hands me the microphone. I grip it tightly as butterflies whirl in my blower belly.
Palms slick with sweat, I try to shake off my jitters.
Justice stares at me, his eyes dark and intense.
I wish I knew what he’s thinking. What he’s feeling.
How he feels about me now that he knows my dirty little secret.
The music starts up, and someone whistles from the crowd of bar patrons.
I start off key, singing ‘All I want for Christmas is You.’ He has to know that I’m singing this song to him.
That he’s all I want. All I’ve wished for year after year.
Red lights blink and fade into a soft glow around me, and in this moment he’s all I see. My asshole of a biker.
The only man I’ve ever loved.
I finish the song, and Jenny Lynn gives me a hug when I hand her the microphone. “You were great.”
“That was terrible.”
“He didn’t think so.” She motions to Justice as he approaches. “You two have fun.” She winks at me and takes the stage with Tom.
The music fades away. My ears buzz in anticipation as I wait for him to walk across the bar to me. “You ready to go?”
“Mhmm.” I roll my lips.
Outside, he gives me the key to the room. “I’m going to the gas station to buy some beer. You want anything?”
“No, I’m going to check on Mr. Tinkles.” And I’m curious to see what he bought earlier at that store. He watches to make sure I get into the room before going off on his errand.
In the room, Mr. Tinkles is curled up asleep on the couch.
I leave him be and kick off my shoes. With a quick glance around the room, I don’t spot the black bag.
Where did he hide it? My shopping bags are on one of the chairs, but his are nowhere to be found.
Maybe he put it in the car. He has the keys, so there goes checking there.
Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I dig out some fresh pajamas and decide to take a quick live video for my subscribers.
I need to hurry. I don’t know how long Justice is going to be gone.
“Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.” I kiss the screen.
Laying back on the bed, I undo the buttons on my pink with candy canes printed on it pajama top, exposing some of my red lace bra.
I trail a finger down the center of my chest and further down to give my belly piercing a playful tug. Stopping at the waistband of the matching pants, I tease at showing the red bow on my thong that matches my bra.
“Have you missed me?” I bite the tip of my finger. “I’ve been traveling for the holiday, and I can’t stop thinking about you.” My mind flashes to Justice. He could be watching me now.
A comment pops up.
Show me your tits.
A notification for a tip for a hundred dollars flashes across the top of my screen.
I give a small peek at my bra. It’s going to take a lot more than that for me to show any real skin.
Cock tease.
“I have to go, but I’ll be back soon.” I end the live.
As I’m doing up the buttons on my shirt, Justice knocks at the door to our room. I check to make sure it’s him before I unlock it.
He stomps the snow off his boots and comes in carrying a six-pack of ponies and the black bag. My throat goes dry at the sight of the mysterious bag. I don’t have the nerve to ask what’s inside. Not yet anyway.
“Cute PJs.” He puts the beer on the table and drops the bag on the floor.
“I’m afraid Mr. Tinkles stole your bed.”
He doesn’t comment. He simply kicks his boots off and shrugs his jacket off to hang it over the back of a chair. “Want one?” He offers me a beer, and I nod, suddenly feeling shy. He hands me the bottle opener and sits in the empty chair.
I pop my top and sit on the edge of the bed.
“Thought I knew you, Bean, but you’re not that good girl priss I thought you were.” He takes a swig and I do the same.
“You saw?” I meet his gaze.
“Yeah, baby. I saw.”
My heart stutters in my chest. He’s never called me baby. “And?”
“You’re good at it.”
“Are you going to tell my father?”
“No.” he shakes his head.
“Thank you.”
“Let me finish.”
Shit.
“I’m not going to tell him because you’re going to stop.”
“Excuse me.”
“You heard me. You’re playing a dangerous game. Do you know how easy it would be for one of those fuckers to track you down and take what they think they are owed? Bet your fucking snatch is plastered all over the dark web.”
“I don’t do full nudity, Ice.”
His gaze cuts to mine. I never use his road name.
“Tall Tom.”
“What?”
“That’s his username.”
“Who?”
“Those swingers back at the bar. Jenny Lynn wasn’t some nice lady, Bean. They found out where you were, and his wife is pissed about the money he’s been giving you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Heard them arguing about it in the parking lot. Their room is only four doors down from ours.”
“I feel sick.”
“Good,” he snaps. “Log in and cash out. Then, take down your accounts.”
“I can’t afford my rent if I stop,” I confess.
“We both know your daddy would pay it.”
I shake my head. “He wanted me to stay at home and go to school locally. That was our deal. If I went, I had to prove that I could do it.”
“You’ll quit, or I’ll tell him.”
“Fine. Tell him.” A tear rolls down my cheek. “That’s really one of my subscribers?”
“Yeah, Bean. You’ve got to be more careful. I won’t always be around to protect you. What if I wasn’t here with you? They could have you tied up in their room or worse.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Fucking trouble magnet,” he mutters.
“Do you think they know where I live?”
“They tracked you here, so yeah. Probably.”
“Fuck.”
“Maybe it’s time to move back home, Neva.”
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re there and I can’t.”
“You can’t what?”
“Be there with you but not with you. I can’t watch you with other women and pretend it doesn’t hurt. I can’t pretend that I don’t love you. And the fucked-up thing is I know you feel it. You want me.”
I stare at him for a beat, wishing he’d say something. Anything.
My heart leaps to my throat and stalls there as the silence stretches between us.
“You know why.”
I shake my head as tears burn at the backs of my eyelids. “Yeah. You’re scared. Maybe they should have called you Lion because you’re a coward.”
“I don’t do relationships. You know that, and I’d hurt you, and you’d hate me. It wouldn’t be good, Bean.”
“You don’t know that.”
He stands up.
A tear trickles down my cheek. I want him to kiss me so badly it fucking hurts.
And when I think that just maybe he might, he reaches around me for a pillow. Wordlessly, he shoos Mr. Tinkles off the couch and turns out the light.
“Get some sleep, Neva. The road should reopen tomorrow.”
“Fuck you, Ice.” I lay down, turning my back to him.