Chapter 8 #2
But I stopped short as I caught sight of my nude body in the full-length mirror next to the trunk.
My hand rose to touch the hickies and love bites Sage left on my neck.
Then my fingers slowly navigated south over the tops of my breasts where more markings were scattered.
I could still feel the soft warmth of his mouth against my skin and the reverence of his touch.
I felt like I might be sick and turned away, only for my toe to nudge something that clattered against the floor.
Glancing down, I saw the pieces of Sage’s armour still lying on the ground from when I’d stripped them off in a trance two nights ago.
Without him to command it back to wherever it usually resided, I supposed it would remain corporeal in the physical world. And still sized to fit me.
Something twisted inside me at the thought, and I had to suck down a deep breath through my nostrils to repress the anguish.
Once I was composed again, I spent several moments collecting his armour and placing it on the bed.
The last piece was the skull helm with empty eye sockets, which I could not help staring into while I got dressed.
My furred ears perked up at the soft murmur of voices in the next room, so I knew Carrick had arrived.
I drew in another shaky breath once I was dressed and then picked up the familiar bone dagger and its leg sheath from amidst Sage’s armour.
“You’re keeping both swords for yourself and leaving me with just one little knife?”
“I seem to recall that you are capable of inflicting a lot of damage with just one little knife. Besides, I thought you said you did not need a sword to kill.”
“Fuath taste gross, and they stain my nails!”
“Prove you can be trusted with a knife, and I will consider giving you a sword later.”
I closed my eyes tightly, my grip tightening around the sheathed blade of the same knife Sage had handed me that morning in the clearing while Fuath charged us. I could still remember my first impression of the odd sensations of our bond and how it felt as natural as breathing.
I buckled the harness and knife around my thigh and then turned to pull open the curtains and stepped outside the bedchamber. Serafin and Pyrope padded along behind me on near-silent paws as I strode across the room with my head held high and my jaw clenched.
Rian stood next to Carrick who was gazing around his son’s yurt with such haunted eyes that it almost shattered my resolve when they met mine.
I had always thought it was a sign of weakness to allow one’s emotions to be displayed so openly, but now I envied him.
I envied his ability to share this pain without feeling any shame.
“Ornella,” he greeted me as he took in my oversized shirt and knife, which both belonged to Sage.
I stopped in front of them, my ears pressing down so tightly they trembled while my hands fidgeted. My eyes darted to Rian in an unintentional bid for his reassurance, which he offered with a slight incline of his head.
I forced myself to meet Carrick’s eyes, and I could see that he was resisting the desire to reach for me. My usual instinct would have been to step away, out of his reach, but I was filled with a different and unexpected emotion.
Without questioning the urge, I pitched forward into his arms, colliding with him hard enough to knock him back several steps, but he didn’t seem to care.
He simply wrapped his arms around me and held tightly as I started to sob uncontrollably.
I had sworn not to cry in front of anyone, but I couldn’t seem to stop.
Especially when I felt him shaking as he cried along with me.
My cries eventually quieted, and then Carrick pressed a tender kiss against the top of my head.
“Rian said you wish to stay here. I understand if that is the case, Ornella, but you should know that you are also welcome to come home with me. We need our family at times like this,” he told me with patience and affection.
His inclusion of me as part of his family almost made me start crying all over again, but this time, I was able to stave off the impulse.
“Thank you, Carrick. I want to stay here,” I answered, my voice muffled against his chest.
“As you wish. Can I give Asha and Shay your love?”
“Yes,” I croaked, releasing him reluctantly and wiping my face before he could see my tears. Even though both males had obviously heard them.
Carrick surprised me when he gently gripped my chin to tilt my head up and meet his watery eyes.
“You are welcome anytime. If you change your mind,” he reassured me sincerely.
I nodded, blinking back fresh tears as he stepped away, looking regretful.
He clearly wanted me to go with him, and I was surprised to find myself curious if it was the right decision.
But I dismissed the possibility right away, knowing there was so much to do in getting Sage back.
And I needed to be with Rian and the other riders for it.
“I am taking Carrick home. While I do that, there is something important I need you to do,” Rian advised me. “Do you think you could… work with Ciaran?”
“Ciaran?” I repeated, my face scrunching in distaste.
“Yes, Ciaran,” Rian confirmed, rolling his eyes at my reaction to the mention of our fellow rider.
I would not normally go anywhere near Ciaran of my own volition, but it occurred to me that he was actually the perfect companion. I was feeling volatile and vicious and didn’t care if I hurt his feelings.
“I think I could manage,” I told Rian.
“The Spring fey who took refuge here as their world was collapsing are diminishing. We have no choice but to take them to the Vale,” Rian began.
“But they will probably be hunted there,” I objected.
“We know. We have some sanctuaries where they may be safe for a time. There is no other choice until I can get my hands on Balor and make him pass his power on to a monarch who is more fit to rule,” Rian reminded me.
“Alright,” I relented, unable to think of an alternative. “What do you need me to do? I’m not sure I have enough magic to heal so many.”
“I need you to create a portal to the Vale.”
My eyebrows flicked up, and I glanced over at Carrick in uncertainty of how to respond to this odd request.
“Umm… I appreciate you wanting to try and make me feel useful right now, but I can’t make the portals that you and the other riders use. I travel through the ley lines.”
“Exactly,” said Rian with a nod of approval. “There is a ward preventing us from portalling directly to the Vale, but Nuala says you can get around it. I know you cannot carry people with you inside the ley lines, so I need you to do whatever you did last night to weave magics.”
“Weave magics,” I repeated dubiously.
“You were able to use your power in collaboration with both mine and Sage’s magic,” he reminded me.
I blinked as I recalled doing just that in order to save Rian’s life.
I had used Sage’s magic to remove the Light from inside Rian, and then I used Rian’s power to absorb the power of the Sylvan.
Typically, his shadows would have been scalded, but with my healing magic as a buffer between them, I had juggled all three at once.
“You think I can make a portal using the Tithriall?”
“Nuala said it was possible,” Rian insisted.
“And you want me to try and work out how to wield this abnormal medley of magic while still depleted and with Ciaran breathing down my neck?” I verified.
“I hoped he could guide you on how to form portals,” Rian maintained, although he winced as if he was already aware of what he was asking me.
“What about Darragh?”
“Ciaran has taken it upon himself to oversee the care and safety of the Spring fey. I will not reassign him. I am not confident he would listen if I tried.”
“Right,” I sighed reluctantly. “Let’s go then.”
“Took you long enough,” Ciaran snapped the moment we stepped through Rian’s portal into his tent.
I recognized the faint scents of burned clothing and cneasú instantly from the night Sage had first introduced me to his cousin.
Everything seemed to be in its place, but there was still a sense of chaos in the space as if it had not yet healed from the abrupt loss of Aodhan.
Ciaran stopped pacing the far side of the room behind Nuala who sat at the fire, unbothered by him while she sipped her tea. But I could tell Rian was displeased when he stiffened beside me.
“I told you to wait in the anteroom,” Rian reminded Ciaran who scoffed as he moved around the fire.
“He was polite,” Nuala reassured the Autumn Prince.
“That is not the point,” Rian insisted.
“Can we not get distracted? Sweet Elements, am I the only one who cares about getting these fey to safety?” shouted Ciaran angrily.
I understood now why Rian felt he could not remove Ciaran from this task for my benefit.
There was a frenetic energy about the aes sídhe male that seemed even more vicious than usual.
His clothes were rumpled as if he had managed to catch a few hours of sleep in them.
His tabby eyes burned fiercely enough to spark a fire, and his long honey-coloured braid was frayed as if he had slept on it and not bothered to remake it.
I remembered how agitated he was after the Fuath had attacked the aes sídhe and how he had not been calm until he felt like we were doing something.
He was obviously a male of action; he wanted a plan and to execute the plan.
But I also knew from Sage that Rian would be juggling far more than just the lives of the Spring fey.
He was responsible for all of us; Nuala’s comfort, my volatility, and Carrick’s broken heart, all in addition to Ciaran.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I rebuked, falling easily into our usual banter to move everything along. “Stop throwing a temper tantrum and take me wherever you need me.”
Ciaran blinked, looking momentarily caught off guard before he glowered once more at Rian and then stepped between us. He knocked into both of our shoulders and exited the tent at a brisk walk.
“I apologize in advance,” Rian sighed, and I blew out a breath with a nod as I turned to follow Ciaran outside.
Passing through the silencing ward around the yurts and out into the camp was always jarring. My ears pinned back in discomfort when I was suddenly accosted by the raucous sound of thousands of people around us.
I sprinted to catch up to Ciaran, dodging all manner of fey going about their daily business in the army camp. Everyone seemed to be mobilizing, although I was not sure why. And trying to keep up to Ciaran’s long-legged strides while avoiding a collision was difficult enough.
“Holy fuck! Slow down, would you?” I finally shouted at him, and thankfully, he stopped long enough for me to reach his side. “I have short legs!” I berated him.
“Shall I carry you under my arm?” he suggested with a quirk of his mouth and a rise of one brow.
“Just walk at a normal speed!”
He grunted noncommittally but did continue onward at a pace that I could more easily keep up with. Although we were still moving much faster than I would have liked.
“So what is everyone doing?” I asked him after darting under a pile of poles being carried by two fey. I thought they looked like tent posts.
“We had a flood of new recruits when word spread about the Spring Court. We are making room for them,” Ciaran explained over his shoulder.
“Silver linings, I guess,” I muttered, and then frowned at my use of a human saying that Amira had taught me. “Why are the Spring fey diminishing so quickly, anyway? Autumn was an adjustment for me, but even after all this time here, it’s never impacted my ability to use magic.”
“You and Aodhan had the essence of an Autumn Court fey within you,” he pointed out. “You also have an anam who is native to Autumn. Perhaps that factors in.”
I pressed my lips together and nodded, unwilling to discuss the subject further, but I guess it was too much to hope that his evident apathy could continue.
“Look… I am sorry about Sage—” he began.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Excuse me?” he gaped, stopping and turning to glare down at me in disbelief.
“I asked you to shut the fuck up. We are not friends, and if I am being honest, I prefer it that way right now.”
He was silent, eying me steadily as if those tabby eyes could already pierce through me and read my thoughts.
“Aodhan was like that too,” he said after a moment. “He hated sympathy.”
I frowned, waiting for him to make his point, but he merely turned away to end the conversation and formed a portal so we could reach our destination faster.
I was happy to oblige him and followed him into it.