Chapter Thirty-Two
Roman
Yes, Roman! That’s my boy.
- Shaun Ford, as Roman received his high school diploma
Somehow, I force myself to leave Lola’s shop, but I don’t get far.
She may want space but there’s not a chance in hell I’m leaving her alone tonight.
So, I sit parked up in my truck outside her shop, one hand gripping the wheel, trying to decide who I want to murder more: Rob Carson or my own damn father.
The suit I’m wearing feels like a straight jacket, a reminder of everything Lola’s using to push me away.
I’m used to people looking at me and seeing money. It happened throughout most of my childhood, but it never happened here. It never happened with Lola. And it fucking hurts that she used that as an excuse.
My father may not believe I belong here, hell, Lola may not believe I belong here, but the only place that feels more like home than Pine Rock is when I’m buried deep inside of Lola.
She’s panicking right now and maybe I should have told her a long time ago that I knew about the drugs, but she ran so far away, so fast, I never found the right time.
She looked so scared when she confessed, and it kills me that she thinks the trouble she got into as a kid makes her somehow less. Lola’s wildness has always been a part of who she is, and I don’t want to fix that part of her, I want to protect it.
Knuckles rap against the passenger window and my heart trips in hope but it’s not Lola. I press the button to unlock the truck and Lola’s dad climbs in.
“How’d you hear?” I ask.
“Beli called. Is it bad?”
I run a palm over my trimmed beard and gaze out at the trashed shop. Lola’s turned the light off, but the streetlamp shows the damage well enough. The shattered glass and the dark, misshapen shadows of the wrecked furniture dark inside. “Pretty bad.”
“Want to tell me why you’re sitting out here, instead of in there with my daughter?”
“My dad tried to blackmail her tonight.” I should have known it wasn’t me he had his PI following, should have realized he’d go after Lola.
Shaun’s breath whistles between his teeth. “I think I pity a man who tries to blackmail my daughter.”
That jolts a laugh out of me. I shake my head and close my eyes. “I never should have taken her to meet him.”
Shaun sighs. “You wanted your girl to meet your family. There’s nothing wrong with that, son.”
Except he’s not my family. Not really. Not in the way family should be.
I press myself back against the driver’s seat and stare into the night.
My emotions are raw tonight and something about the darkness makes it easier to put to words what I’ve always been ashamed of. “I used to wish I really was your son.” I flick a glance at Shaun. “Then I’d feel bad for having every privilege in the world and wishing it all away.”
In the corner of my eye, Shaun gives a sharp shake of the head.
“You have nothing to feel bad about. Your father on the other hand…” The softening lines of his jaw harden but I let out a low laugh.
Shaun’s always been careful not to say a bad word about my parents, but he’s shit at hiding his emotions and I know they’re not his favorite people.
It’s also how I know he means it when he draws in a breath, turns to face me, and says, “You are my son, Roman. In every way that matters.”
A fist squeezes my heart. “I don’t know whether I’m enough for her,” I admit. How can I be if I’m not even enough for my own parents?
He doesn’t need to ask me who I mean. We both just stare out the front of the car.
“If you were any other guy, I’d say you weren’t.
I’d say no one is good enough for my daughter.
But I’ve seen the way she’s looked at you since she was twelve years old.
Lola flies through life like a whirlwind.
Nothing ever holds her attention, except you.
” His reaches over, his hand squeezing the nape of my neck as his gaze tapers on me.
“You are all she wants, Roman. You are all she’s ever wanted. ”
Tension builds in my cheekbones as I screw up my face. “She’s pushing me away.”
Shaun chuckles under his breath, the sound somehow tired and full of love all at once.
“Of course she is,” he murmurs. The door unlatches as he pulls on the handle.
“I’m going to go check on her.” Shaun drops out of the truck, turning to face me before he goes.
He rubs a thumb over his mustache. “Roman, you believed in my girl even when I didn’t. Now, that’s on me, but do me a favor?”
I catch his eye.
“Don’t give up on her now.” He lets the passenger door shut behind him.
I watch Shaun disappear inside the shop then I take out my phone and call Jarred.
“Hey,” I say. “I know it’s late, but I need your help.”
I gave up on Lola once before and spent the next six years regretting it. I’m not about to let her slip away for a second time.