Chapter 19
It had been a long, stressful night and day of a whole lot of nothing.
Cullen wasn't sure why he went down to dinner at all when the sun began to set.
He knew what Leviathan would say, knew the smug look he would give him.
And still he'd decided to come. It felt like giving up on an important principle, but he wasn't sure which one.
Leviathan watched him again as he ate, but Cullen only stared at his plate, picking at his food. He wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing but he felt a bit like he was going insane at this point. Need twisted in his gut like a knife and his cock throbbed painfully under his clothes.
“So.” Leviathan said finally, hiding a smile behind his goblet. “How’d using your hand go?”
Cullen closed his eyes, taking a deep breath so he didn’t give into his need to throw something.
After a long moment, he gave in, keeping his voice calm.
“Why isn't my hand doing the trick and why the hell is it not going away?” He had a strong feeling there was some weird demon-related thing about it.
It was the only explanation for Leviathan's laughing at him before.
Leviathan set the cup down, licking his lips.
Cullen looked away, his cheeks flushing.
Fuck. It had been like this since they’d sparred.
He could hardly even look at Leviathan–with those stupid thick arms and the smirks and the little ways he shifted in his seat that made Cullen wonder if he was also trying to hide something–without getting even more worked up.
“It doesn’t work that way with demons.” He said finally, his eyes on his empty plate and his lips turned up in a small smile.
“We cannot reach our orgasms on our own. There has to be physical contact with someone else. It’s why we’re always presented as such horny bastards in stories or art.
Because we have no reservations about sex.
No privacy, because we physically cannot do it ourselves.
“And since the desire flows through us so viciously… we have to turn to each other. Or humans. It’s that or be driven absolutely insane from the constant stress of it.
Maybe you’ll even die without receiving release.
You know…eventually.” He smirked and something in Cullen’s stomach tightened.
“Or you could just ask the hot Prince of Hell across from you to fuck some sense back into you. Your choice, Cullen darling.”
There was tense, heavy silence.
Slowly, he raised his eyes to Leviathan’s face, gritting his teeth at the smug look there. "You're not serious, right? This is a joke? How does that even make sense? It's no different if you're doing it yourself or not, you're just trying to trick me."
Leviathan held up his hands. Cullen tried not to stare at his long fingers. Or the muscles in his forearms as they shifted. "Hey, it took me a long time to accept it too. It was quite the shock to me when I Fell." He shrugged. "But it's just the way it is.”
Cullen shook his head fiercely. He didn’t believe him. He didn’t. But panic was a living thing in his chest, squeezing tightly and cutting off his air–
"You can't think I'm this stupid. You're so full of shit, Leviathan!" His voice rose. "It's just some subconscious bullshit or something! I feel like it might have something to do with being kidnapped by a crazy monster–"
Leviathan chuckled. "You're so defensive right now, pet. You must have suspected this was the case."
His cheeks flushed. “Shut. The fuck. Up.” Yes, he had certainly thought it was something outside his own mind holding him back, but for it to be something like this?
Leviathan’s eyes narrowed. "You'll see. I give it two more days at the most. Then you'll be mine."
Cullen sucked in a breath to calm himself, running his hands through his hair. No no no no no. “You said it's insanity and death without it, right?"
Leviathan gave a nod, his head cocking slightly to the side.
"Then I guess I guess that's how it will end for me." He muttered, picking up his own goblet. “At least I’ll be freed from you if that happens.” He drained the cup and slammed it back down, relieved when the wine hit his empty stomach. He wished he had a shit ton more to get drunk on.
Leviathan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You're really such a stubborn bastard that you'd rather be driven insane and die than let me fuck you?"
Cullen shrugged, feigning indifference, and Leviathan sighed, annoyed. If he wasn’t freaking out so bad internally, he might have been glad to see he’d annoyed him again.
But he said nothing, only pushed himself to his feet, flushing when he felt his legs tremble. “I’m going to bed. Dining with you has been a mistake. I won’t make it again.”
Leviathan’s face went carefully flat. Cullen turned away without a word–and Leviathan was instantly in his face, blocking the way to the door. Cullen flinched but did not back down this time, remaining close to him. Too close. The scent of him sent his heart hammering.
Dammit.
“Do something with me tonight.” It wasn’t a question.
“No.” He snapped, moving to step past him. “Leave me–”
Shadows burst in front of him, making him cry out. He barely registered Leviathan’s fingers curling around his wrist before the darkness covered them.
When they emerged again, they were standing on the wide balcony he remembered seeing outside Leviathan’s bedroom.
The darkening sky loomed overhead and those terrible barren mountains stretched out across the horizon.
In the distance, he could see some kind of strange pattern in the stone, like some sort of maze…
Leviathan moved away from him, drawing his attention again.
Cullen gaped at him for a long moment, glancing anxiously towards the closed glass doors that led into his bedroom before turning back to him and straightening.
“Take me back.” He would have turned and walked in himself but that giant bed loomed on the other side of the glass, like a silent threat…
“I won’t touch you.” He murmured, resting his hands on the wide railing. “I just wanted to show you something.” His head tilted to the side, his gaze falling on Cullen’s face. “Come here.”
He hesitated, glancing nervously at the gaping dark space under the balcony. The ground was hundreds of feet below and the fall would take ages…
“Cullen.”
Something about the softness in his voice had Cullen stepping forward, his hand coming to rest hesitantly on the railing.
A warm, smoky breeze blew against them, ruffling his hair and clothes.
His skin tingled at the brush of the fabric, but he ignored it, glancing at Leviathan before slowly following his gaze to the sky.
“Do you miss the stars?” He asked softly, startling him.
It took him longer than it should to answer, his throat working a bit at memories of sitting at his bedroom window while he watched the stars bloom in the sky one by one. Finally, he admitted, “Yes.”
Leviathan’s cheek turned up in a soft smile and seconds later small pinpricks of light began to dot across the sky, spreading outwards until the dark blanket was covered with stars.
“H-how?” He whispered, shocked. “I look for them every night but the sky is always pitch black…”
“I control damn near everything in this dimension, Cull. Perks of being a fallen angel and all that.” He waved a hand.
To his surprise, his throat started to grow thick with tears.
It had been so long since he’d seen something so beautiful.
Something…normal. He choked back his emotions and wrapped his arms around his chest. “It…it’s beautiful.
” He mumbled, not taking his eyes away from the sky.
It was the first thing that had distracted him from his own body in weeks.
“Yes.” Leviathan murmured, an edge to his voice. “It is.”
His eyes flickered to his face–and widened when he saw that he was watching him again, his lips pulling down unhappily. He shifted away from him, his eyes falling to the darkness under the balcony again.
“So…that stuff. About the angels falling from heaven and all that. Is it true?”
After a moment, Leviathan snorted. “I’m here, aren’t I?’
He hesitated. “Yes. But I mean…how much of it is true? What was it like?”
He was silent for a long moment. When Cullen finally looked up at him again, he was frowning thoughtfully.
“I’m not sure…it may be a story for another time.”
“Why?”
He hesitated. “It is…it can be difficult to talk about. I’ve never told anyone else anything about it.”
Cullen almost smirked, almost taunted him for being weak--though he didn't actually think it was weak at all–but the far away look in Leviathan’s eyes stopped him.
“Maybe you could start with that man in the vision you showed me. That memory.” He kept his voice quiet.
He paused. And then smiled a little hesitantly, like the thought amused him. “That man…” He murmured. “Is none other than the Dark King himself.” When he saw Cullen’s confusion, he grinned. “What do you know of the Fall?”
“The Fall…of the angels?”
Leviathan nodded.
He hesitated, thinking back on the years and years of lessons Dom and the others had taught him.
“According to the histories… Five original angels betrayed the heavens. Chose to denounce their god and were cast out because of it. Disgraced.” He paused, glancing up at him. Leviathan was smiling again.
“True enough. Though Lucifer, the Dark King was not cast out.” He turned and leaned back against the balcony, his eyes on Cullen’s face.
“See, Lucifer and our creator got into a bit of a tiff, just after humans had been created. Lucifer accused him of being….” He hesitated, seeming to search for the word.
“The equivalent to humans would be little boys who pluck wings from bugs to watch them die slowly.
Lucifer did not like that the humans would age and wither.
He did not like that the creator gave them life and would tear it away after such a short time.