Chapter 51
He was still curled tightly into Leviathan’s arms when he woke, the heat between them almost stifling. In the best way. He shifted and squirmed back against him, closing his eyes as a smile fell across his lips.
The things he’d shown Leviathan last night, the intention he’d let him see in his mind…he had no plans of leaving. He hadn’t for quite a while. Dumb as that may be.
But this…whatever it was…it wasn’t what it had been in the beginning. There was no more fear his life was on the edge. No more worry about whether Leviathan would hurt him or cast him aside. He hadn’t thought about home in weeks. Hadn’t thought about Walker for even longer.
He knew now that whatever they’d had back then…that wouldn’t have lasted, even if Leviathan hadn’t interfered.
Yes, they had loved each other. Yes, they had been together for years and it had been comfortable, if not totally enjoyable, but…
they hadn’t been right for each other. It shouldn’t have ended like it did, but it had been a necessary break.
Leviathan had known it and had forced it upon him and Cullen was…
grateful. He hadn’t realized a relationship could be so… happy.
Perfect. Leviathan was always whispering to him. It was perfect.
An odd, nice change from what he’d had before.
And to stay here…to chase that perfect life…it was exciting… And a little terrifying.
But he wanted it. So badly.
I’ll make sure you don’t regret it.
A soft chuckle escaped him. “Are you ever going to just let me have personal time to think?”
“I think not.” Leviathan whispered against his neck. “Not now that you’ve said you’ll stay.” He nuzzled him. “Your mind is my favorite place to be.”
“Is it?” He grinned, catching his hand as it slid down his stomach. “I can think of at least two other places you prefer.”
Leviathan laughed. The sound was so unexpectedly joyful that something squeezed tight around Cullen’s heart. He started to turn to face him, but paused when several fierce aches shot through his body. Leviathan chuckled and nuzzled against him again.
“Good. I was hoping you wouldn’t heal in your sleep.”
“It feels like I was hit by a damn truck.” He groaned as he shifted again. “What did you do to me last night?”
“Nothing I haven’t done to you before.” He assured him, kissing his shoulder.
Seconds later he had sprang up out of the bed, kicking the blanket aside before scooping Cullen into his arms. “Bath time!”
“Hey!” He cried, shocked. “Put me down! What’s wrong with you?”
“You’re filthy.” He murmured as he headed towards the bathroom. “And I’m sure you won’t be able to walk yet. So just let me carry you.” He grinned. Water splashed softly in the tub in the center of the room as they entered. “Let me take care of you for a while.”
“Like an annoying momma bird.” He scoffed, crossing his arms as his face grew warm.
Leviathan chuckled softly, settling him into the steaming water. Cullen winced at the sting but quickly relaxed back against the tub, closing his eyes. Seconds later, Leviathan had joined him, sitting across from him just as he had that first time they’d taken a bath together.
“Is that Christmas festival still going on today, do you think?” Leviathan asked after a few quiet minutes.
“I’m not sure.” He mumbled, sinking a little lower into the water. “I hope so.”
“Me too.” He grinned and grabbed Cullen by the ankle, drawing his foot into his lap.
“What are you doing?”
“Massaging you.”
Cullen yanked his foot away with a shocked cry the moment his fingers pressed against it. “Don’t.”
He grinned. “You’re ticklish?”
Cullen groaned softly. “Please don’t. Everything on me hurts.”
Leviathan grinned and reached for him again, grabbing him by the wrist to draw him forward. “Come here.”
He moved forward slowly, wincing at the aches in his body as he turned and settled back against his chest. He’d lost track of how many times they’d been in the bath together like this now.
How many times Leviathan had washed him and massaged him, his hands gentle on his body as they cleaned him–and then inevitably worked him up again.
He would have to be careful to make sure it didn’t happen this time.
Leviathan smiled against his neck and Cullen knew he had heard the thought. Slowly, his arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer. Cullen let him, leaning his head back against his shoulder.
Leviathan nuzzled him again; Cullen grinned.
“You’re very clingy, you know.”
“You like clingy.”
“Maybe.”
“Not maybe. You do.”
Cullen shrugged and took one of his long fingered hands into both of his. He played gently with his fingers for a few minutes.
“Can I ask you something?” He murmured, running his thumbs along the tendons in his hands.
“Of course.”
He hesitated. “Do you remember what your brothers said…about your true form?” He had let it go in the moment, had not wanted to go chasing answers to questions he wasn’t ready to ask yet. But if he was going to stay here…
Behind him, Leviathan tensed. “Yes.”
Another slow, thoughtful pause. “Can I see it?”
It was his turn to hesitate. “No.”
He frowned down at his hand. “Why not?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
After a long moment, Cullen murmured, “Do you think I’ll become scared of you?” After all, demons could be grotesque, vile creatures. Even angels themselves had been rumored to be…unpleasant to look at sometimes.
“I don’t know.” The words were soft.
He hesitated again. “What if I promise I won’t?”
Leviathan’s fingers twitched in his hands. “Cullen…”
“Please?”
“But why?” He challenged quietly. “What’s the point?”
To know exactly who it is that I’ve agreed to stay with. He responded quietly in his head.
Leviathan shifted uneasily. Cullen fought the urge to tell him to forget about it.
“Not my face.” He said finally. “Not right now.”
“Okay.” Cullen breathed, his chest tightening with a strange mix of emotions as the air shifted, a strange power twitching through the world around them.
He gasped as he felt Leviathan’s body grow against his back, flinching away from the widening chest and arms before Leviathan finally wrapped a firm, thick arm around his waist, drawing him back again.
His legs, sprawled on either side of Cullen, grew wider and longer until they took up the entire bath.
His hands–one of them still tucked gently between Cullen’s–grew and shifted, the black veins of scales growing darker and thicker until they sprawled up his massive arms in delicate designs that spoke of death and suffering.
Cullen drew in a slow breath, his body trembling as long black claws sprouted from his nails, each of them sharp as the tip of a knife.
His own hands–nearly as big as Leviathan’s normally–were suddenly dwarfed against his.
And when he shifted and felt the pressure of something hard and big against his back, he froze, his eyes popping wide.
Leviathan’s hand curled gently against his, the large pad of his thumb pressing against the back of his hand.
Cullen exhaled shakily. “Wow.” He sensed Leviathan’s discomfort and added, “Don’t worry. I’m not scared.”
“Fear has a very distinct scent, you know.”
Even his voice…it was a half pitch deeper than normal. Older. Ethereal. Cullen had to draw in another slow breath.
“Okay, well I am suddenly sitting in the lap of a giant. Give me a minute.”
He did, the hand he held on his stomach and the one curled against his hand remaining very still and gentle, the claws sharp but nonthreatening.
Cullen took a few slow breaths and then smoothed open Leviathan’s hand again, his fingers tracing the dark scales there.
He could hear Leviathan’s heart–louder and stronger than before–pounding faster at the movement.
“I’m not afraid.” Cullen repeated softly, bringing his hand up to kiss his palm.
His hand could have wrapped around his entire face.
“It’s still you.” He kissed him again and then lowered his hand, sinking them under the water as he pulled his arms closer around him.
He started to turn his head, but paused when Leviathan tensed.
“Why can’t I look? Is it so different from before?”
He hesitated, one of those long claws running along his palm. Cullen gasped at the feel of it, tingles shooting from his hand to his chest.
“My face is the same.” Leviathan answered finally. “A little broader, maybe. The veins…” He turned his hand over, letting him see them again. “They run up through my whole face.” He paused. “My hair is longer.”
“Really?”
“Just by a bit.” He murmured. “And my eyes are black. I can’t keep them human for you in this form.”
“That’s okay.” He whispered shakily. “It’s not like I haven’t seen them before.”
Another pause. “My teeth are sharp.”
“They’re always sharp.”
“Not just those little fangs I have in my other form.” He muttered. “All of them. Sharp and pointed. My tongue is longer.” He snorted softly. “I suppose you might like that part.”
Cullen huffed a laugh. The sound came out far shakier than he’d wanted it to. “Maybe. But if I can’t even look at you, I couldn’t exactly enjoy it fully.”
Leviathan chuckled. “I could always blindfold you.”
Cullen shifted again and blushed at the feel of that thing against his back. Demon or not, he wasn’t sure he could handle it. “Maybe.” He paused. “Do you have wings?”
“Wings?” He almost sounded amused. “Why would I have wings?”
He shrugged. “Fallen angels are always depicted with them. And you had them in Heaven, didn’t you?”
It was a surreal thing to even be able to ask.
“We did.” He whispered, sounding a bit lost now. “We had them when we fell as well.”
“So…”
“Lucifer took them from us.” He continued quietly. “After we fell. It was a mark of Heaven that we no longer wanted.” He paused. “He tore his own off first, his rage much stronger than any of ours. And then…we asked him to take ours as well, so that we might all have that reminder.”
He hesitated. “You were all so angry.”
“Betrayal does that to a person.” He said quietly.
He frowned, pausing again. “Why was Lucifer so angry over the humans? Isn’t he…bad? Doesn’t he hate us?”
Leviathan gave a small twitch. “It is not my story to tell. Not that I know most of the details anyway.”
A soft, irritated sound escaped Cullen. “How am I supposed to be nosy then?”
He chuckled. “Perhaps you can ask Lucifer himself someday. For now, let’s leave it at the creator is a cruel, harsh person, who does not care for his angels or his humans. We were all just toys for him. Thrown away when we no longer followed his will or accepted his version of love.”
Cullen leaned his head back with a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. Very different from the story he had always been told. From the moment Dom had found him wandering those filthy city streets, dirty and bruised, he had begun telling Cullen about the heavens.
One god, one devil. One surrounded by angels, by pure, beautiful love, and the other surrounded by darkness.
Shadows and curses and demons, all of them out for angel blood.
For revenge for being spurned from heaven.
Cullen, grateful just to be fed and taken care of, had not questioned too hard, had not pushed despite how curious he’d been for the details of why they’d been spurned.
It seemed he would not get the details now either.
Another shift in the air came, drawing Cullen from his thoughts, and the overwhelming presence in the room wilted, returning to Leviathan’s normal aura. The large body that had surrounded him a moment ago grew smaller. Familiar. And then Leviathan was nuzzling him, drawing him tighter against him.
“I will tell you all the stories someday, pet. We have all the time in the world.”