Chapter 20 #3
She clenched her hands together until her fingers cramped. “If I don’t?”
He let out a sigh, his head dipping as if he didn’t want to say his next words. “Then it’s clear where yer heart and loyalties lie. Not with yer faith or yer familye ... and not with God.”
No. That wasn’t true. She loved her family, and would do anything for them. She was also dedicated to her faith. God, it’s not true.
“That’s enough.”
Phoebe looked up to see her father walk into the kitchen, his expression stormy. “You will not bully mei daughter,” he said in a tight voice.
Bishop Weaver stood. He was a few inches taller than Daed , which allowed him to look down on him.
“I’m not bullying her, Jesse. I’m trying to help her.
And you.” He glanced at Phoebe before looking back at Daed .
“Phoebe needs to make things right with God. Yer continual support of her rebellion is why he is displeased with you.”
Daed crossed his arms over his chest. “You told me it was because I lacked faith. Which is it?”
The bishop’s face reddened, seemingly caught off guard by the question. He tugged on the bottom of one suspender. “Perhaps it’s both. Either way, I’ve found a suitable husband for yer daughter—”
“I heard. Atlee isn’t suitable to be anyone’s husband. The poor man has been mourning his wife for over a decade.”
“Which is why he needs a new frau .”
“Then let God lead him to a woman who will love him. Both he and Phoebe deserve better than marriage by default.”
Phoebe was shocked. She’d never seen her father stand up to any bishop like this.
“I love mei daughter,” Daed continued. “She made a choice, and she’s handling the consequences.
She’s given me and mei wife a wonderful grandson.
She’s a good mamm , and she’s been holding this familye together since mei wife took sick.
” His expression switched from heated to regretful.
“If you’re counting sins and laying blame, don’t leave me out.
I should be a better husband to mei wife. A better father to mei kinner .”
Phoebe stood and went to him. He shouldn’t berate himself like this. He had no reason to. “ Daed ,” she said, “you’re a wonderful husband and father.”
“But I can do better. We all can do better.” He took a step toward the bishop. “Even you.”
The bishop’s jaw visibly clenched. His gaze flicked to the right before meeting Daed ’s square-on with new determination.
“Are you saying you haven’t followed the rules of the Ordnung ?
Because if you haven’t, then that will need to be dealt with.
You will need to confess in front of the church.
That and obedience are the only way to receive God’s favor. ”
The man was missing the point. He was so stuck on rules and appearances he couldn’t see grace. Not just God’s grace, but the grace her parents had extended to her after she’d hurt them by making so many bad decisions.
“I think we’re done here,” Daed said. “Phoebe gave you her answer.”
But Bishop Weaver didn’t move. “Jesse, listen to reason. You and yer familye have fallen under some demonic power, that much is true. If you can’t see the error of yer ways, there will be nee choice but to excommunicate you and yer entire familye .
” He glanced at Phoebe again. “I now see where you get yer prideful nature.”
Daed blew out a furious breath. “Get out before I throw you out.”
The bishop opened his mouth as if to say something, then clamped it shut. He shook his head. Straightening his shoulders, he turned and walked out the back door.
Phoebe couldn’t move. She could barely breathe. She’d never seen her father so incensed. He’d never lashed out like that at anyone.
As if the impact of threatening the bishop hit him, he collapsed into a chair. Yet when he looked up at Phoebe, she could still see the steel in his eyes. “I don’t regret saying that to him. I do regret you had to witness it.”
She knelt in front of him. “ Daed , I’m sorry.”
“For what?” He lifted her chin with a thick, work-roughened finger. “This isn’t yer fault.”
“But maybe the bishop is right. I’ve disappointed God and he’s taking it out on you. If I get married—”
“He’s not right and you’re not marrying Atlee. That’s final.”
Putting her hand over her father’s, she asked, “What are we going to do?”
He sighed, squeezed her hand, and leaned back in the chair. “I don’t rightly know at the moment. I could use some of Eli’s wisdom right now,” he said, referring to Bishop Kline. “I’ve known Samuel Weaver for a long time. He never used to be like this.”
“Like what?”
“Judgmental. As if his word was law, not God’s.
He’s always been a stick in the mud, though.
Becoming bishop hasn’t helped that, obviously.
” Then he touched the side of her head lightly, making sure not to dislodge her kapp .
“Don’t worry, Phoebe. We’ll sort this out.
Just don’t let what he said get to you. We’re going through hard times.
I can’t deny that. But I believe we’re going through all this to strengthen our faith. Not as punishment.”
He rose from the chair, giving her a weary smile. “Gotta get back to work. But first I have to get a drink. That was the reason I came inside in the first place.” He gave her another encouraging smile. “I’m glad I did.”
She went through the motions of making lunch, trying to follow her father’s advice and not dwell on the bishop’s visit.
One of her mother’s friends had brought over turkey and cheese sandwiches, and Phoebe would add potato salad with mustard only and carrot sticks. A meager meal but it would have to do.
Despite her focus on preparing the meal, her mind continued to war with itself.
Daed had given her an escape from Atlee, but that didn’t change anything.
They were still struggling. Mamm was still sick.
Now they were on the wrong side of Bishop Weaver, and nothing good could come of that.
And she still couldn’t get the thought out of her mind that she was responsible for all this.
If only she hadn’t rebelled. If only she hadn’t slept with Brody. If only she hadn’t become pregnant.
But then she wouldn’t have Malachi, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him.
She stopped peeling the carrots and closed her eyes.
Lord, thank you for mercy and forgiveness.
Daed ’s right. I need to be faithful, and I promise that no matter what happens to our familye , I will always put my trust and love in you.
Even if I can’t see a way out of our situation, I know you’re here, loving all of us.
And that’s more than enough ... more than I deserve.
When she opened her eyes, tears stung. Yet she felt peace wrapping itself around her heart, cloaking and soothing her soul.
Everything would be okay. She knew that now, despite the bishop, the failing farm, her mother’s sickness .
.. and despite her own heartbreak over Jalon.
God would see them all through the pain and hardship. She believed it with all her heart.
A knock sounded at the front door. Her body tensed.
Was the bishop back? Had he brought reinforcements to convince her and Daed to comply with his demands?
They didn’t have a deacon or minister in the district.
Several of the men were her father’s friends, but they were also close to the bishop.
What if they were here to gang up on her and her family?
To convince them to repent and force her to marry Atlee?
Faithful ... God is faithful. She repeated the words as she went to see who it was. When she looked through the door’s window, she stilled. Jalon stood on the other side.