Chapter 21
J alon’s heart wrenched when the door opened and he saw Phoebe.
She looked pale, thinner than she’d been when she left Birch Creek, and her eyes were red-rimmed.
“Have you been crying?” he asked, then wanted to kick himself.
That wasn’t how he wanted to open this conversation.
Actually, he didn’t want to say anything at all, only to take her in his arms and never let her go.
She stepped back and wiped her eyes, shaking her head. The combination of movements threw her off balance and he reached for her. And just like that, she was in his arms.
“Jalon,” she said, crying against his shirt. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
He couldn’t believe it either, and had fought with himself the entire trip about whether he was doing the right thing. Now he knew he was.
She lifted her head and tried to pull away from him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered thickly.
“I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have been here sooner.”
She shook her head. “ Nee. There’s nix here for you, Jalon. And I can’t leave mei familye .” She tilted up her chin. “I won’t leave them.”
“Phoebe?”
At the sound of the weak female voice they both looked up.
The woman standing in the living room looked just as weak and thin, thinner than Phoebe.
Yet her kapp was perfectly placed, and her dress, which was a bit loose on her, looked freshly pressed.
She walked toward them, her gait a little wobbly, but a smile on her face.
“You must be Jalon. I’m Phoebe’s mother, Miriam. ”
Realizing he was still holding Phoebe, he released her. “Yes, I’m Jalon Chupp. Nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too. I didn’t realize you were coming for a visit.” She looked at her daughter. “Phoebe didn’t mention it.”
“Because she didn’t know. I wanted to surprise her.” He looked at Phoebe, seeing the bewilderment in her eyes. “But if this is a bad time—”
“Not at all. Why don’t you two sit while I bring tea?”
The woman didn’t look strong enough to carry one cup of tea, never mind two. Phoebe evidently didn’t think so either. “ Mamm , you sit down. I’ll get the tea.”
She shook her head. “You’ve done plenty for me. Let me do this for you.”
Phoebe hesitated, then sat down. Jalon joined her, making sure to leave plenty of space between them on the couch.
He had to tread carefully here. He had to make sure she understood how much she meant to him without scaring her off or overwhelming her.
She seemed like the same woman he’d met at her aunt Bertha’s, though possibly a little more shell-shocked.
Which made him even more angry with himself that he hadn’t come sooner.
Adam had been right. He had been an idiot.
And a coward. Had Phoebe paid the price?
She looked down at her lap. “You shouldn’t have come.”
“I should have come sooner. Phoebe, why didn’t you write me back?”
“I ...” Her gaze met his. “I didn’t want you to feel obligated.”
“Obligated?” She could be so frustrating, but even that came from a tender heart.
“Phoebe, I love you. I told you that in mei letters. It wasn’t the best way to do it, but that doesn’t change how I feel.
” He couldn’t hold back the words. “You’re not an obligation.
You’re the woman I love. The one I need and can’t live without.
Whatever happens with you, Malachi, or yer familye , I want to help. I want to be here for you.”
“You have yer own life. The farm ... We would be holding you back.”
Not able to take the separation anymore, he moved closer to her. “I don’t care about the farm. Not when you’re away from me. Not when you’re struggling. I thought you knew me better than that.”
“Jalon.” Her eyes filled as she looked at him. “I do know you. That’s why I stopped writing. I knew you’d come here and try to fix things.” Then she looked at her lap. “But it’s unfixable.”
“Listen to me.” He peered around to catch her gaze. “ Nix is impossible, especially when we face it together. Now, tell me what’s really going on here. I can see yer mamm is still sick.”
“She’s actually doing a little bit better,” Phoebe said.
Relieved, he let out a tense breath. “Then you’ll be able to come back home soon?”
“ This is mei home.” Her tone was firm. “I won’t abandon mei familye .”
“I saw some cookies on the table.” Phoebe’s mamm entered the room, carrying a plate with three small cookies on it and a mug of tea. There wasn’t a coffee table in the room, so she handed the mug to Jalon and the cookies to Phoebe. “I’ll be back with yers in a minute,” she said to her daughter.
“ Danki, Mamm. ” Phoebe set the plate on the couch between her and Jalon.
He stretched to put the tea on an end table, ignoring it. “There’s something you’re not telling me,” he said. “I’m not leaving until you do.”
“You’ll have to geh eventually. You have yer farm to take care of.”
“Forget the farm. I’ll give it to Adam and Leanna if I have to.”
Her eyes widened. “You can’t do that.”
“I can and I will, if it means being with you. Don’t you understand, Phoebe?
I’m willing to risk everything for you. I’m willing to say good-bye to Birch Creek if it means I can be with you and Malachi.
I don’t care where we live or what I end up doing.
Without you,” he said, lightly touching her hand, “I’m empty. ”
The front door opened and her younger brothers and Malachi burst into the room. They all stopped when they saw Jalon. Malachi’s eyes grew round, then he launched himself into Jalon’s arms. Jalon hugged him so tight he thought he might crush the child.
“I missed you,” Malachi said, nearly choking the air out of Jalon.
“I missed you too.” He closed his eyes, breathed in the sweat and dirt of a boy who lived life to the fullest, and felt a part of his heart heal. He sat Malachi on his lap.
“Look,” Malachi said, pulling away from Jalon but still with his arms wrapped around his neck. “Jalon’s here.”
“Who’s that?” a young boy with blue eyes the same color as Malachi’s said.
“ Buwe , geh wash up,” Phoebe told them. “We’ll be having lunch soon. And before any of you ask, it’s not pizza.”
They all grumbled and went upstairs to where Jalon presumed the bathroom was. Malachi stayed put, sitting on Jalon’s lap, leaning against him as he pulled something out of his pocket. The yo-yo.
“He keeps it with him always.”
Jalon peered over Malachi’s head at Phoebe’s watery smile.
“I’ve been practicing mei tricks.” Malachi gripped the yo-yo. “Do you wanna see?”
“I do, but I have to talk to yer mamm for a little while longer. After we’re done, then you can show me everything you can do.”
Malachi nodded, gave Jalon another quick hug, then scrambled down off his lap and ran upstairs, tripping on the way up. Jalon couldn’t help but smile. How he loved that kid.
Then he shifted his gaze to the woman he loved. “Tell me what I have to do to be with you and Malachi.”
Jalon was relentless, and that made Phoebe feel more loved and cherished than she ever had.
Seeing Malachi’s reaction had made her heart swell.
He belonged with Jalon. They both did. Yet she couldn’t leave her family, not now.
She didn’t know when she could. Was that fair to Jalon, to make him wait?
And she would never ask him to leave Birch Creek and give up his life there.
“Phoebe.” At some point he’d removed the cookie plate and moved even closer to her, and her heartbeat raced.
He looked like he wanted to kiss her. She wanted him to.
Not in her parents’ living room, of course.
Not with her younger brothers and son ready to bound downstairs at any minute.
But someplace private, with the two of them alone.
Where they could hold each other and never let go.
She forced herself to focus on his request. “I won’t ask you to give up anything for me, Jalon. And I don’t know when we can ever go back to Birch Creek.”
“You keep saying that, but I don’t believe it.”
He was forcing her hand. “Bishop Weaver was here.”
“The one who wanted you to agree to an arranged marriage?”
“ Ya. I thought he’d changed his mind, but he was only biding his time.
And he’s no longer singling out only me.
He’s singling out my whole family.” She explained what the bishop said, and as she talked, she saw Jalon’s jaw clench.
Then she told him about her father taking a stand, which caused him to relax.
“I’m glad he did that,” Jalon said. “I just wish I’d been here to set the bishop straight.”
She frowned. “How would you do that?”
He took her hand. “I’d tell him you were already getting married. To me.”
She nearly choked. “Is that a proposal?”
“Absolutely yes.”
Her body warmed all the way through, but she kept her composure. “It’s not that simple.”
He let out a bitter chuckle. “It never is.”
“ Daed taking a stand, that caused a problem with the bishop. He might be disciplined in front of the congregation.”
“For standing up for his daughter?”
“For going against the head of the community. That’s not done here, Jalon. And then there’re the problems with the farm.”
“What problems?”
She ended up telling him everything, from the dry cows to her mother’s slow recovery. “ Mei daed ’s got so much on his shoulders, and he’s trying to be strong for everyone. I can’t leave him to bear all this alone.” She lifted her chin. “I won’t leave him.”
Jalon didn’t say anything for a long moment, which scared her a little. His face was unreadable. She expected him to be upset with her. She was choosing her family over him, and that had to hurt. It would hurt if the situation were reversed.
“Where’s yer daed ?” he asked, finally speaking.
“Outside. He and some of mei brothers are working on the barn roof. Part of it caved in last night.”
“The animals?” Jalon asked.
“All okay, thank goodness.”
Jalon rose. Without saying another word he walked out the front door.