Chapter 33
TWO DAYS LATER
Ishika
It’s the first weekend of November, and I am standing in the suburb of Buffalo Grove in Chicago.
We took a flight and then picked up a rental car to drive down to this place.
It’s late afternoon but the skies are already dark and the ground is wet from residues of rain.
I pull on my coat snugly as a cold breeze hits me in the face.
Bringing my thumb to my mouth, I start chewing on my nail and looking at the lights coming from inside the line of restaurants that decorate the street.
“Stop it. Your anxiety is rubbing off on me. You have no more nails left anyway,” Sadie says. She is right, I chewed my nails constantly during our flight.
“Maybe we should come back tomorrow,” I say, feeling my insides churn.
Sadie helped me track down Ryan. We found out where he was working and I made an impromptu decision to fly down to Chicago to see him. I was optimistic that he would at least want to talk to me, until I boarded the flight and then my nerves kicked in.
What if he’s moved on? What if he is dating someone? What if he really truly hates me and cannot even tolerate looking at my face?
“No, don’t you do this to me now. You hauled my ass over in this shitty weather to meet your man. You said you need me for support. I kept my end of the bargain. I’m here for you, Ishy. But you have to walk inside those doors to talk to him. Don’t you want to see him?”
“I do. But…”
“No more buts. If you don’t go in right now, it will be my leather boot to your butt. Go inside. I am cold and cranky and soon my pussy will have frostbite. Not a pretty sight, Ishy.”
Sadie flips her red hair off her shoulders and grabs onto my hand, dragging me inside the bistro. The warm toasty air from the heaters and the aroma of delicious food welcomes us as soon as we step indoors.
There is loud cheering coming from the back of the room.
My footsteps carry me to the sounds of glee and celebration.
My gaze wanders to the corners of the cozy room.
I manage to peel my way through the crowd of people standing at the bar.
I jolt to a stop when my eyes lock with those glacier blues and my pulse starts pounding in my ears as I register what I am seeing.
Ryan is sitting at a table with a girl, like he is on a date.
Her hand is in his hold. He is laughing, his eyes shining and happy until he finds me standing two feet away from him.
His smile falters and he blinks.
I blink too.
His second blink is slower. His dark thick lashes lift slowly and then in a rapid movement his eyes widen, he lets go of the girl’s hand as he stands and turns toward me. I can see the rise and fall of his chest. Ryan looks tormented.
“Ishika.” He mouths my name. His brows knit together in a hard frown, his beautiful thick lips parting slightly as he stares at me.
He is happy without me. Why am I here to ruin it for him?
He is on a date.
I turn around and bolt out of the doors of the bistro.
I don’t wait for Sadie to catch up. I don’t even try to guess which way the parking lot is.
My only motive is to get away from Ryan.
I run, because that’s all I can do to protect myself.
Yes, I am still thinking about my heart and the way it’s about to shatter and crumble any minute now.
Sadie had said Ryan worked in this bistro. I didn’t plan on crashing his date. But now I can’t trust myself around him. There is a good chance that I will break down and beg him to take me back, even while he tells me he has moved on with another girl because I hurt him. I betrayed him.
I don’t want to confront him; I don’t want to show him pieces of my tattered heart. I sprint across the street and escape to my left, a corner that just opens into another street. I run taking in gulps of cold air, trying my best to avoid ramming into people walking down the street
But I hear his voice again, Ryan is chasing me.
“Ishika stop,” he screams.
I keep going without looking back.
“Ishika. Listen to me,” he yells louder, I can feel his voice getting closer, his footfalls getting louder.
I ramp up my steps, turning into the first alleyway I find and then another and another.
It’s become really dark all of a sudden and these areas are not very well lit.
My breathing gets heavier and my feet begin to hurt as I carry on moving forward without a sense of direction.
There is another narrow alley cutting through a block and I am about to enter the passage when I am immobilized.
A strong arm wraps around my waist, banding me, and my feet lift off the ground.
A scream escapes my lips when I crash into a strong firm chest. His arms are around me, enveloping me in his warm body.
“For fuck’s sake, Ishika. Stop running from me,” he growls into my ear in his husky breathless voice.
His warm breath caresses the shell of my ear.
His lips are so close to my skin that he makes me shiver.
It’s been so long since he held me this close.
One touch, one kiss, just one more memory before I leave him alone.
He shifts, turning me around. My back bumps against a wall and I have no choice but to look up.
He is drop-dead gorgeous. There is a new hardness to his face.
It makes him look older than he is. He also feels somehow taller, or maybe because he looks so imposing when he is looking down at me from this position.
His jaw is a lot sharper, his hair is longer, and his features seem more chiseled.
A lifetime has passed since I last saw his beautiful face.
He takes my cold face into his warm hands. His big hands, the feel of his calloused fingers on either side of my face caressing my cheeks. “Are you fucking crazy? You never enter a dark alley if someone’s chasing after you,” he scolds me.
The condensation of breath from his mouth comes out in puffs like a cloud of smoke. He is panting just as I am. He lowers me to the ground, although his grip on me tightens and he pulls me into his warm body.
His closeness, his concern for me, his soothing protectiveness is turning my mind into mush. I can act civil.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your—”
He doesn’t let me continue; his face comes closer. “I missed you,” he breathes out so tenderly, staring into my eyes, that my heart tugs and leaps once again reminiscing the good old times.
“I wasn’t prepared when I turned and found you standing so close,” he says. “My friends are at the bar. I want you to meet them.”
I blurt out, “Your date must be wondering—” I catch my words from spilling.
He stares down at me with a silent scowl.
I don’t want him to go back to her.
He notices something in me. Perhaps my jealousy or my desperation, it has to be so obvious to him. Whatever he sees he decides not to punish me further.
“She’s my cousin. I want you to meet her.”
Oh! Cousin.
His cousin.
God, I love cousins. Everyone should have cousins.
My mood is immediately ten shades brighter. “Oh, I see. I’ll meet your cousin if you want me to. No biggie.”
His gaze drops to my lips for a brief second, and then he shakes his head as if clearing his head of a random thought.
He sucks in his thick, juicy bottom lip next.
His sexy dimple highlights as he pulls me back under his arm, closer to the side of his body, and smothers me in his warmth. I shamelessly soak it up.
The place is buzzing with energy when we head back into the bistro. Sadie waves when Ryan pulls out a barstool for me and takes my coat. I smile back at her, hinting that I am okay. She is with a bunch of other girls close to the stage where a band is playing.
“Ishika meet my cousin, Katy, and her fiancé, Josiah,” Ryan introduces the pretty girl and the good-looking man sitting next to her. Josiah wasn’t sitting with them before. No wonder I got confused. It can totally happen to anybody.
Or maybe somewhere deep I am scared to lose Ryan to another woman. Someone who can love him unconditionally. The way I failed to love him.
Ryan says, “Let me get you a drink.”
I nod. He hops over to the bartender’s side and speaks to a man who is lining up glasses for shots.
Ryan then pours various liquids from different glass bottles into the steel cocktail shaker and shakes the bottle vigorously with his strong arms, making those biceps curl and flex.
When he catches me staring, he smirks and continues to pour a blue cocktail in a fancy martini glass rimmed with pink salt.
“So, Ishika, are you here for work or something else?” Katy asks excitedly, showing me her diamond ring.
“I’m here to see Ryan. Your ring is beautiful,” I reply.
“Oh. Thank you. Josiah proposed last night and I wanted to share the news with Ryan,” Katy gushes, looking at her fiancé. “We are having a get-together at our place next month, we would love to have you join us in our celebration.”
“I may not stay for that long. But if I do, I’ll be sure to let you know,” I say. How long I stay will depend on how things go with Ryan.
“Ishy!” Sadie screams my name and waves. I catch Sadie eyeing the band’s guitar player. She signs me to look at my phone.
My phone has a new text from Sadie.
Girl, I’m totally gonna bang the guitarist tonight. His fingers are so long. I just unlocked a new kink.
Sadie is smart and knows how to take care of herself. I trust her instincts so I am not worried about her choices.
Ryan walks back to the table and places a blue and pink cocktail in front of me. “You’ll like this one,” he says sitting down. I take a sip of the cocktail. It’s sweet and tangy with a hint of vodka.
“Yum. What’s this one called?” I have to shout to him. The crowd and the music are loud.