CHAPTER THREE
Lynn
“And then he walked me to my car.” I stuff a fry into my mouth, feeling weird about saying more. The breakroom at Green with Envy is a little too public for the things I’ve been mulling over after last night.
How do I explain the funny way my stomach flip-flopped when I slammed into Brian’s chest. Sure, it was a bit jarring, but after the initial surprise, it felt oddly satisfying. And that silly arm flex of his... that’s got to be a guy thing, but I kind of liked that I caused that kind of reaction.
And that kiss. I can’t even go there.
It was a spur of the moment thing. I barely gave it a thought, if any at all, until Brian put his hands on me. It wasn’t nothing. It was a heart racing, lungs burning, body melting kiss of the ages. And I ruined it.
He’s gone.
Guilt prickles at my gut. Of all the idiotic things to say after a kiss like that.
As if my botched date watching even mattered.
Honestly, I have no idea if he was or not.
All that mattered was that my body was tingling after locking lips with the man who knew all my faults. And I’d just given him more ammunition.
The last I saw of Brian, he was standing in the parking lot, raking a hand through his hair as I drove away. I’ve replayed that part almost as many times as the kiss.
I’m always running away, but that’s safer than imagining Brian felt the same heat that I did.
Briar sits across from me with the remains of her sandwich spread open on its wrapper. “Hmm.” She clamps her lips into a thin line, giving me a look.
I know that look. It isn’t nothing. She knows me well enough to know I left out a few details.
I stop chewing. “What?”
“Nothing.” Briar lets the silence hang between us for another few seconds before reaching for a chip. “So, I’m guessing there’s no chance at the job or a second date with the creep.”
“He wasn’t exactly a creep.” I pick through my fries, searching for one that isn’t soggy. “Ill-mannered, yes. Too many red flags to stick around.”
The breakroom door swings open before I can say anything else. Daisy stops short when she sees us sitting at the table.
“Oops. Didn’t know anyone was in here.” She crosses to the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of water. “Just grabbing this.”
Briar gives her a little wave, and Daisy disappears as quickly as she arrived. The door shuts behind her, leaving us alone again.
I drag a fry through the puddle of ketchup on my wrapper. “Last night did get me thinking about something, though.”
Briar immediately perks up. “Out with it. I’m full of sage advice.”
“Occasionally,” I tease.
She laughs, and I smile, but mine fades as I stare down my half-eaten lunch. “Getting rid of all the unnecessary distractions has been kind of freeing. No non-stop notifications. No fear of missing out, wondering what everyone else is doing that I’m not.”
“No butt dialing and texting the wrong person.” Briar giggles.
“Funny,” I say, tossing a fry at her.
“Seriously, Lynn. I’m a little jealous,” she says. “Ditching all the noise sounds suspiciously peaceful, not to mention, healthy.”
“I know, it’s unsettling.” I smile briefly before getting back to my point. “But I don’t think I can really move forward until I completely break ties with the past.”
Briar’s eyes widen. She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “You’re not breaking up with me too, are you?”
I laugh. “Nah. You’re stuck with me.”
“Thank God. I was about to fight for custody of the sofa.”
“It’s your sofa, silly.” I turn my hand beneath hers and give her fingers a squeeze before pulling away. “But that’s kind of what I mean. Trying to sneak out on Charles yesterday reminded me of how shitty it was when I left Josh.”
“Oh, honey. If ever a man deserved it, it was him.” The humor disappears from her face. “You’re not going back to him, are you?”
“Oh, hell no.” The answer comes quick and easy. “Josh and I weren’t meant to be, and three months apart hasn’t changed that.”
“Then what are you talking about?”
I have unfinished business with him.” I push my wrapper away. “When I left, I grabbed what I could and left the rest of it behind.”
“You’ve lived without all that stuff for three months.”
“I know.” But it isn’t just the things. It’s about reclaiming myself.
“Then keep living without them.” Her brow furrows. “Don’t get sucked back in, Lynn. I’ll come with you. Greg will give me the day off. I’m sure of it.”
“Thanks, but no. This is something I need to do for myself.” I shake my head. “If there’s any chance of me actually getting a fresh start, it’s time I stopped running. Time to quit relying on everyone else.”
I draw in a breath.
“I need to save myself from... well, me.”