CHAPTER FOUR
Brian
“And you just let her go?” I huff into the phone. Of all people, Logan should have stopped her from going back to that loser ex of hers.
I shove the front door closed behind me and drop my keys on the table. I run my fingers through my hair as I pace across the living room. I’m tired, dirty, and still carrying half the day’s dust on my clothes. But that doesn’t compare to the frustration crawling beneath my skin.
The shit at Stella’s is still too fresh in my mind.
Lynn running out that door. The panic on her face before she realized it was me.
The way she fit against me like she was made to be there.
And then she leaned into it... into me. When she slid her hand up my arm and told that asshole I was her boyfriend, I nearly had a stroke.
And kissing her. What the fuck was that?
Hell, I didn’t care that it was pretend. For one damn minute, she’d chosen me. And then she was gone, like she didn’t feel anything.
All I want is for Lynn to stop making stupid mistakes and look at what’s right in front of her.
To see me as someone who isn’t just Logan’s friend or the pain in her ass who doesn’t hesitate to show up when everything goes sideways.
Does she think I do it for fun? That I get a kick out of seeing her on her worst days?
Hell, no. I want to see her on her best days, but if the worst are all she’ll give me, I guess that makes me a sorry ass, messed up mother fucker.
I can’t help myself. I want her to need me.
I need her to want me.
Most days I don’t think she even likes me. We can’t spend more than ten minutes without arguing.
Which makes it even more fucked up that I can’t stop thinking about her. Her smart mouth, the stubborn tilt of her chin, her pouty lips when she’s pissed at me. Makes me want to kiss the attitude right out of her.
And now she’s going back to that loser. The one she ran off with, thinking she’d conquer the world. All she got out of it was one way ride and a train ticket home.
“Lynn’s an adult,” Logan says. “Way past the age where I get a say in what she does.”
“Yeah, yeah. Nobody’s the boss of her.” I pace toward the kitchen, thinking a beer would do me good right now, then change my mind. “But she respects you, man. You’re the only damn person she listens to. You could’ve talked some sense into her.”
“Let it go, Brian.”
“You know I can’t let it go.” I stop pacing and scrub a hand over my face. “I’ve tried. I can’t man.”
I know what’s coming when Logan is silent on the other end of the phone—the same argument he’s been making for years.
“It’s never been a good time,” Logan finally says. “You know that.”
I stare across the room, my jaw clenched tight enough to crack a tooth. He’s right. And I fucking hate that he’s right.
“Yeah.”
Another time. Another place. Another version of Lynn who knows what she wants. The settled Lynn who’s outgrown impulse decisions. The one who’s ready to quit running, thinking the grass is greener somewhere else.
I’ve been telling myself it isn’t the right time for years. Thought that one day the timing would finally work in my favor.
My phone beeps. I pull it away from my ear and spot a new message waiting... from Lynn.
“I gotta go,” I say quickly.
“Try not to do anything stupid.”
“Funny,” I say, but there’s nothing humorous about it.
I open the text.
Today was amazing. – Lynn
My stomach drops before something hot and ugly lands there.
Amazing.
I stare at the message until the words blur together, every stupid ounce of hope turning sour in my gut.
I can’t keep doing this.