Chapter 10
ARAVIND
I hated myself for being grateful Tiago couldn’t see much of me, but I was. He had to be very selective about what he looked at if he wasn’t using his phone camera, so he probably didn’t notice the way I was shaking.
I didn’t know what the fuck I had been thinking. I had no idea what had come over me when I climbed into his lap and shoved my fucking panties into his mouth. But god, the sight of his teeth digging into the lace was too much.
I nearly came in my pants, and it was by sheer will alone I held off.
I hadn’t planned on any of this, of course. Yes, I had noticed he was hot. It was impossible not to notice. Even if he wasn’t my usual type, he was close enough that he’d caught my eye when I stepped into the locker room that first night and I found him on the bench in front of his stall.
It had felt wrong and good all at the same time to be able to watch him, knowing he didn’t realize I was staring. It was one more thing I needed to silently atone for.
But never, not in a million years, did I think I’d be standing beside the railing with bits of his dried come on my wrist as the ferry slowly pulled into port. There were bits in my hair too, and it was going to be a bitch to wash off, but I didn’t care.
At all.
I still had the come-covered panties in my suitcase. I had no idea what I was going to do with them, and I had no idea what that made me for keeping them.
Taking a deep breath, I turned to look at him. We’d found a quiet spot that was out of the way of all the passengers hurrying down to their cars, and he was now leaning against the railing with his cane in his hand and his dark glasses over his eyes.
“Can I give you a ride, or—”
“My brother’s picking me up,” he said.
I think I knew that. I think he’d said something about checking his bags, but I hadn’t been paying close enough attention to him at the time.
He had all my attention now. Every atom of it.
“Okay. Well.” I rocked back on my heels, then stared at the winding staircase that was finally free of people. “I should, uh… My car’s at the front, so…”
“Yeah, no. Of course.” His body stiffened, and he tilted toward me almost like he was going to reach for me before stopping himself.
It shouldn’t have felt like a rejection. It shouldn’t have hurt.
But it did.
“See you,” I said, then froze. Was that insensitive?
The corners of his lips tilted upward into a half smile. “Yeah. See you.”
I didn’t know if he was making a joke or not, so I just turned, and with deliberately heavy footsteps, I walked away. There was a weight on my shoulders as I made my way down to the cars, and throwing my bags into the back seat, I slid behind the wheel and held it tight.
It would be another ten minutes before we were allowed to drive off, so I couldn’t help but turn in my seat to try and see him. I had no view of the top deck from my car though, so instead I pulled out my phone and glanced at the text I’d sent myself.
It was an eggplant emoji because if I was anything at all, I was a little shit that wanted to remind him of what we had. Of what we probably wouldn’t have again.
Groaning, I dropped my forehead against the steering wheel and tried deep breaths as I waited for the all clear to start my car. It was taking a thousand years, and I was half-convinced I’d have my first grey hair before the engines around me began to fire up.
The ferry eventually stopped moving though, and an eternity later, the front dropped down, and I was being waved out.
The parking lot was huge and mostly empty. On the far right side, there were lines of cars waiting to load up, and too many cars were idling behind me for me to be allowed to linger.
Only…I couldn’t make myself go. Something in my gut said to wait. I pulled out of the queue and drove toward the parking lot, grabbing an empty space near the passenger pickup, and put the engine in park.
There were cars in the pickup circle, and a few people were milling around, and I wondered which one belonged to Tiago’s brother. He was a professional hockey player, so his brother probably drove something nice.
Was he in the black BMW SUV? The Caddy?
I wasn’t really a car guy, but I appreciated luxury, and I think the fact that I was always grateful for what I got was the only reason my dad bought me a Range Rover for my twenty-third birthday. The thing purred like a kitten because I treated it like one.
I wondered if Tiago’s family appreciated him at all. He got weird when he talked about them, so I was betting no.
My phone buzzed, and I jolted, snatching it from the cup holder, but it wasn’t Tiago. Three texts were waiting for me.
Dad: Did you arrive on time?
Soma: We’re going to be late. My sister is having a crisis. We’ll be there on Wednesday. Please don’t starve to death before we can take over the kitchen.
Leon: Are we ever going to talk about us?
Oh, fucking really? He was texting me now too? Seeing my ex’s name gave me immediate indigestion, and I knew right then I should block him. Hell, I’d known that for a while, but I couldn’t make myself push that button.
I wasn’t actually a glutton for punishment, and I didn’t enjoy humiliation even in a kinky way. So why couldn’t I just do it and end the madness?
My phone buzzed again.
Leon: I have a box of your things. Where can I send it?
Nowhere. To hell. I don’t fucking care!
I didn’t say any of those things. I shot a quick text to my dad to let him know I was fine and alive, and then one to Soma to tell her that I was a big boy and had been feeding myself for years now. Then I dropped my phone on the seat and covered my face so I could let out a silent scream.
I didn’t feel any better when I was done.
When I dropped my hands, my breath caught in my chest because god, there he was. Tiago had his jacket slung over his shoulder and his glasses still on, and he was gently scraping the edge of the curb with the tip of his cane.
There were at least half a dozen cars waiting, but no one was there for him. And one by one, people got into the cars and left. And one by one, Tiago’s head followed the sound of them driving off.
Time began to tick by, first too slow, then too quickly. Five minutes turned into ten. Ten turned into half an hour. He made three calls, but it was obvious no one picked up.
And no one was coming for him.
Turning the car on, I pulled out of the spot and carefully made my way through the weird maze of concrete dividers until I was able to get into the pickup queue. I drove slowly, coming to a stop a few feet away from him, and I saw his entire body stiffen.
I took a breath, then opened my door. “Tiago.”
His entire body froze, and then he licked his lips. “Uh. Yes?”
“I…it’s me.”
His shoulders sagged. “Yeah. I…I thought it was, but I wasn’t totally sure.”
“Can I give you a lift?”
“My brother’s coming.”
I let that sentence hang between us for a beat. “Is he?”
Tiago ran a hand down his face, then tipped his head back and groaned. “I don’t fucking know. I think they forgot about me.”
“That’s a big dick move. In a bad way.”
He snorted, then took a step toward the car. “Why are you still here?”
“I, uh…” I couldn’t tell him I was watching him, could I? That was such a creepy fucking move. But also, I couldn’t lie. He would have seen me if he could, you know, see.
“Aravind.”
I shuddered at the sound of my name on his lips. “I was waiting to see if your ride showed up. I know Ubers on the island suck ass and cost a year’s salary for six miles.”
He grimaced. “Not a year of my salary, but yeah. They do.”
“Just get in, will you. This island is, like, ten miles wide. You can’t possibly be far from me.”
“Quarter Moon Cove,” he said.
The spot was slightly less posh yet somehow more snobby than where my dad had bought, so I was going to safely assume it wasn’t Tiago’s place.
“Ten minutes from me. Come on,” I said again. “I can help with your bags.”
He put his hand up and shook his head, then turned and grabbed his suitcase with one hand, using the other to poke his cane around until he found the car.
Apart from my carry-on, my bags were all in the trunk, so he fit his single suitcase and his smaller travel bag in the back seat without an issue, and a moment later, he was sliding into the car beside me.
He shifted, then ran his hand over the console. “I know this car.”
“Uh, trust me, you don’t,” I told him.
He snorted. “Yeah, I do. I mean, not this car. Alexio has one just like this.”
I’d never seen Alexio’s car. I barely knew the guy, but it was big, public knowledge he was dating a guy from Tiago’s team.
“This was a gift from my dad,” I told him as I put the car into drive. “When I turned twenty-three, he decided I was responsible enough to drive something nicer than his old ’97 Honda Civic.”
Tiago grinned. “My older brother had one of those. I kind of always hoped I’d get it when he was done with it, but, well…ah.”
“Did you ever drive?” I asked, then felt like an ass. I bit the inside of my cheek as I pulled out onto the main road and headed west.
“No. I got diagnosed pretty young, and by the time I was old enough to think about a permit, my peripheral vision was gone, and my night vision was absolutely terrible.”
“I kind of want to say sorry, but I don’t know if that would make me a dick.”
He laughed softly. “It’s fine. It sucks, you know? Not getting to do that normal teenage thing—like a rite of passage. My brother got to do all the joyriding shit on his breaks, and I got to take occupational therapy lessons during the summer where I learned to cut cucumbers blindfolded.”
I had no idea what to say, so I changed the subject. “So, uh…your house?”
“My parents’ house. It’s on Quarter Moon Drive. It’s the last house on the cul-de-sac.” He was silent as I pressed the gas harder, and then he said, “Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.”
My brows furrowed. “What?”
“The…you know. All the talk about blind stuff.”
I fought the urge to bash my face against the steering wheel. “It doesn’t.”
He scoffed. “Aravind—”
“No, look. I—” I stopped and took a deep breath.