Chapter 21 #2
This was the first time we’d be properly apart since we came together to play fake boyfriends, and now we were something. Lovers definitely. Figuring things out, of course. And somewhere in between that, falling madly in love.
Closing my eyes, I turned my face up to the sun as my foot bumped against Ferris in his raft. On the other side of the pool, Quinn was swimming laps. The aunties were having drinks under an umbrella, and Logan and Liam had gone down to the beach to try a little bodysurfing in the shallow waves.
My dad was somewhere. He’d given me a cautious look when I showed up and a hug because he never failed to hug me, but he didn’t say much as I made my way back into the house and immediately changed into my swimming trunks.
This was what I wanted. Some time with my family where I didn’t have to talk about my dad’s offer or what Tiago and I had planned for our future. But I didn’t think the peace was going to last.
“Do you like it if I call you Ara or Aravind?” Ferris spoke up, gently taking me out of my thoughts.
I lifted my head from where it was being held up by a pool noodle and peered over at him. He was floating with his ass in the center of a blow-up doughnut with wet hair and shades high up on his nose.
“I don’t really care either way,” I told him. “I don’t like being called Ara if people don’t try and pronounce my name right. You can call me whatever feels best for you.”
He nodded. “Did I make things worse last night? Sometimes thoughts pop into my head, and I say them without meaning to.”
“No.” I kicked my feet so I could float closer to him. “I appreciated you saying something. It was all a lot last night, and my dad kind of surprised me with the whole job thing. He knows I hate surprises.”
Ferris hummed and lifted his drink out of the water, taking a long pull from his straw.
“My parents can be like that too. Like the wedding. Sometimes I think I want to cry because there will be so many people, and it’s going to be loud.
A lot of music and dancing—I hate dancing.
And my fraternity brothers all want to come.
My mom’s inviting them because she helped take care of them when we lived together.
” He dragged his fingers through the water, then lifted them up and watched the water fall back into the pool.
“Sometimes it feels like I’m not allowed to say no. ”
“I know what you mean. There’s that fine line between wanting to set boundaries and respecting tradition.”
“My dad always defaults to what my mom wants,” Ferris said. “Because sometimes I think he feels like he robbed her of her culture. He said it to me a few times when he thought I hated him because I was so different.”
“Was it hard in a house like that? With siblings and a parent who are so different from you?” I grew up with parents from opposing backgrounds, but they had so much shared culture, and I never looked around and wondered if I belonged. I didn’t look different than they did.
“Sometimes. My brothers were mean, but they later told me they were jealous because I didn’t have to fight to be seen as Pakistani. People look at me and just go, yep. One time when Logan was talking about going to visit Karachi, my dad asked him if he really had a right to since he looks white.”
I recoiled. “Oh. That’s…not great.”
Ferris nodded solemnly. “They didn’t talk for a while after that. But my dad didn’t mean it. He just didn’t get it. He does now.”
I tipped my head back again and let myself bake under the warm sun until I heard someone faintly calling my name. My heart jumped in my chest, afraid it was something about Tiago, but when I looked up, I saw my dad hovering beside the pool.
“Can we talk for a moment?”
I wanted to groan. “Uh…”
“Please.”
He knew I couldn’t turn him down. I slipped off my float and waded over to the steps and pulled up to the top.
When it was obvious that was as far as I was going, he huffed and sat down, then sank his feet into the water.
I could see surgery scars on his leg, and for a quick, single moment, I remembered the fear that had gripped me when I saw all that blood.
When I didn’t know how bad it was or if he was going to wake up.
But I’d been so young then.
“First of all, I want to say I’m sorry. I should have considered things with you and Tiago might be more serious than I thought,” he started.
I bowed my head. “I mean, you didn’t know—”
“No, but it was obvious,” he said quietly. “I think a part of me was hoping it was just a fling. I know how hard it is to love someone in this job, and I don’t want you to feel hurt or lonely the way your mom did for too many years.”
I looked up and met his gaze. “She loved you.”
“Yes. And she resented me for it too. I can admit that it wasn’t ideal, and I expected to have more time with her after I retired.
I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I regret not making more of an effort.
But we’re not talking about that,” he added when I sucked in a breath to defend him.
“I love you very much, and I want you to be happy all the time. I know that’s not realistic,” he added quickly, “but it’s how I feel. ”
I stared down at my toes. They were currently painted black with a layer of glitter. “Tiago likes me for who I am. Not…not because he’s got a weird thing for guys who like to be fem or whatever. He doesn’t expect me to play some kind of stereotypical role. He just lets me be myself.”
“I have always thought he was a good guy,” my dad said.
I tried not to laugh, but mostly because it was true. My dad had been singing his praises for months, even when I declared that Tiago Nadeau was an epic asshole.
“I should have talked to you privately and given you time to decide. Rajesh does want to meet with you, and there’s still a few weeks before preseason begins for the PPHL, so I’d like to fly you and Tiago out together.
You can meet with Rajesh and use the rest of the time to finish your private vacation. ”
I blinked at him. “Baba…”
“Talk to him about it,” he told me. “And while I never, ever want you to put your life and your work behind some man, I’d understand if you chose something else closer to home.”
I swallowed heavily. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“You never could.” His words were not a platitude. They weren’t trying to be soft or protect my feelings. They were simple. And they were honest. He pulled his feet out from the pool, grunting in a little pain as he stood, and he smiled down at me. “Will he be here soon?”
“Yeah. After he talks to his parents.”
My dad’s eyes darkened. “I don’t know if I should hope they get their heads out of their fucking asses and appreciate him for who he is or if I should hope he chooses never to see them again. But he knows he has us, right?”
I glanced over at my aunties and then at Ferris and Quinn, who were kissing in the corner. I could see Liam and Logan coming up the walkway. Then I looked at my dad again.
“Yeah. I think he does. And if not, he will soon.”
“Good.”
And with that, he left me there at the edge of the pool, wondering what I was going to do next.