17 - Samantha
Roxy and I have torise early the next morning for the hospital. Ugh. I hate mornings. Cynthia often jokes that mornings and I do not get along. This is the understatement of the year. It’s more like calling the pot and kettle black. To make matters worse, I have only had a few hours of sleep and I’m not allowed coffee to help wake my senses.
We get into her car and immediately the radio blares, but she reaches to turn it down a little as we buckle in. Roxy’s choice of music has always been eclectic, but she typically leans toward rock and roll.
“Who’s this?”
“Europe.” We pull out of the driveway and she’s tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.
I recognize this song. “The Final Countdown”. I’m not sure if I want to hear this particular song this morning. It’s a little poetic, or opposite rather. Makes me wonder just how much time I have left if my body doesn’t start to heal itself. I look out the window to try and get my mind on something else.
“Hey girl.” She touches my arm to pull me out of my stupor before turning the song to a different station. “That was a coincidence. It means nothing.”
“I know, I’m just missing my coffee.” Small lie. I really am missing coffee but also dreading the next several hours.
Roxy drives us to the hospital, and we check in. “6:15 a.m., right on time.” She tries to sound upbeat. It’s either that or shear surprise that we made it on time, knowing how hard it is to get moving without coffee.
“Blah,” I agree in my cheerful morning tone.
“Well, hon, we will just get this done and over with and that will be that.” Roxy forces a fake smile. “Just think about that handsome boyfriend of yours. You’ll do fine.”
Yes, he is handsome. I catch myself grinning while I sit here waiting for a nurse to call my name. In my mind, I’m tracing the contours of his facial features remembering each of his two dimples and the small scar beneath his chin that he got from T-ball when he was little. I think about the small mole on his earlobe and how it makes it look like his ear is pierced when it isn’t, and the endless dark brown devotion that swims in his eyes when he speaks to me. These are all good distractions bouncing around within the wrinkles of my brain.
“Samantha Stone,” a nurse calls my name. Ok, show time.
“Alright baby girl, I’ll see you in a little bit,” Roxy says, smiling as she pats me on the back.
“You’ll be able to join her in a few minutes after we prep her,” the nurse explains in a very kind voice. How can she be that sweet so early in the morning?
“Okay,” Roxy agrees. We’ve been through similar things before. She knows the drill.
“See ya,” I say, blowing her a kiss as I wave, joining the nurse. We go through a big door and down a corridor before reaching the area where they will get me ready. I can feel the temperature dropping several degrees during our walk. Finally, we reach the last door to the prep area. For a second, it feels like she’s taking me to see the wizard.
About forty-five minutes later, I have completed an array of activities. I had to get weighed and change into a gown, a very stylish gown I might add. Ha! The nurse held up two identical baby blue gowns and asked me, “Gucci or Coco Chanel?” At least I have a nurse with a sense of humor. It makes everything go a little easier.
She had to take my vitals, you know, temperature and blood pressure. I also had to give a urine sample and blood sample. I hate needles. After taking my blood, I then had to have an IV started so they can lightly sedate me during my procedure. I tear up because the IV stung really bad when she inserted it, but my nurse promised it was in place and I wouldn’t have to be stuck anymore. Well, not in my arm at least.
“I’ll get your grandma now, dear,” my nurse tells me, handing me a tissue to dry my eyes. I manage to squeak out a thank you then find myself alone behind the curtain. I try to dry my eyes, but my hand still stings, causing my eyes to get watery again. The alcohol smell on my skin from the swab burns my nose which also irritates my eyes. Maybe my nerves are getting the better of me. I just want it all over with.
“Hey baby girl,” Roxy says, peeking around the sheet. “Look what I found out in the hallway...”
“Hi, beautiful.”
“Phillip, I thought I told you to go ahead and sleep in.” I’m amazingly happy to see him, but again feel guilty that he’s at the hospital already and it isn’t even eight a.m. I’m so overwhelmed, I tear up more. He comes over to the right side of my bed and leans over to give me a hug. I clutch his neck not wanting to let go. Roxy finds a chair on my other side and inspects my IV and tubing since it’s in my left hand. When I let go of Phillip, my eyes are still filled with tears.
“It’s ok.” He wipes my teardrops with his thumb. “I knew Roxy was with you, but I wanted you to know that I’m here too.”
“Are you staying for a while?” I ask because I can see he dressed comfortably. He has his black Adidas athletic pants on, slightly unzipped at the bottom of his pant legs to fit around his shoes, and one of his school T-shirts. His matching Hurricane baseball cap curls around his forehead which showcases his chocolate brown eyes.
“Yes, I’m here as long as you are,” he says confidently. His chest is puffed out like a proud peacock.
“I’m here till tomorrow,” I sigh thinking he forgot I had to stay.
“I know. I got it all worked out,” he cracks his gum as he explains, “Roxy’s fine with it and we cleared it with the nurse before we came back here to see you. So tonight, I’m your roomie.” Phillip smiles, flashing his pearly whites. “Is that ok?”
I look at Roxy, astonished and seeking approval. “I’m ok with it,” she says, smiling to reassure me.
He couldn’t possibly get any sweeter. He knew about all my apprehensions about this weekend. Everything from dealing with needles and my illness, the overnight stay and being away from home, and especially being away from him. In pure Phillip-form, he swoops in like the prince he is and saves me...again. All I can do is smile. My eyes begin their stupid waterworks again which leaves me almost speechless. I’m able to mutter a small thank you before the nurse comes back to get me.
“Okay, we’re ready.” The nurse turns to Roxy, and then shifts to include Phillip. “She’ll be about an hour getting the procedure done and then after she’s been in recovery for a little bit, I’ll be back to get you two so you can see her.” My nurse’s kind voice is warm and offers a soothing cadence as she explains what to expect. “I have to ask you to return to the waiting room now.”
“Ok, kid. I’ll see you in a little bit.” Roxy leans over and gives me a quick peck on the cheek, then starts for the doorway.
Phillip leans in and softly brushes his lips to mine keeping my kiss sweet and innocent. Loving. He lightly touches my cheek with his fingertips and whispers, “I’ll see you after bit.” He stands up to join Roxy in the doorway and offers his elbow to her so she can take his arm. They leave to return to the waiting area while my nurse takes me down the long corridor to an operating room where my biopsy will take place.
A couple hours later, I’m allowed to be reunited with them. My grogginess isn’t too bad since the doctors only mildly sedated me. I had to be awake to take big breaths and hold them while they took tissue samples from my kidneys. I don’t want to remember the needle in my back or the operating room. So many tools, or instruments, as they call them. I shudder thinking about it.
My nurse brings Roxy and Phillip back to see me and explains how, for the next twelve hours, I will have to have my blood taken a few more times to assess for blood loss. I also have a small bandage on my lower back where they inserted the needle and she explains about some discomfort, blah blah blah. I’m relieved it’s over and all I basically have left is to wait and go home.
I’m grateful that Roxy and Phillip are with me again.
“How do you feel?” Phillip asks. Roxy and the nurse discuss a few more things out in the hall.
“Better, now.” I try to adjust myself a little in my bed. I must have made an awful expression because he’s suddenly wearing his worried face.
“Try not to move, they said you should hold still. You’ll be tender for a little while.” He tries to smooth my hair to one side in hopes of soothing me. He’s right about being tender. My lower back is downright sore, and I know I have a little pain medicine in me. I hope it doesn’t hurt any worse tomorrow.
“I’m glad it’s over,” I say under the veil of heavy eyelids.
My nurse comes back into my room. She checks my IV and refastens the blood pressure cuff. “Are you feeling any pain, dear?”
“She made a face like she was pretty uncomfortable,” Phillip answers.
“It does hurt a bit,” I admit, drowsily. I think I could really use a nap.
“I’ll give you something for the pain, but you’ll probably sleep for a little while.” The nurse adds something to my IV and I immediately begin to feel better.
“I’m going to run home while you nap and bring Cyn back with me to see you. Then she’ll go home with Roxy later and I’ll stay with you.” Phillip has it all worked out. He always has a plan. “Ok?”
“Yeah, don’t be too long.” I’m beginning to speak slower, and my hooded eyes are growing heavier.
Phillip bends down and kisses me on my forehead. “You did good. I love you, baby.” I smile, content with the thought that Phillip sounds relieved. “Roxy,” he continues, “I’ll be back later. Do you need me to bring you anything?”
“No, Phillip,” she answers. “Thank you though. I’ll be fine.”
“Bye Samantha,” he says, rubbing my leg. I smile again as he begins to get all fuzzy and then my eyes shut.
S.
L.
E.
E.
P.
And...
More sleep.
When I wake, my best friend is sitting in my room impatiently ready to greet me.
“Hey babe, nice to see you,” she smiles and hops out of her chair to come to my bedside.
“Hi,” I smirk and pat my mattress. I’m so relieved to be at this point in the day. The worst is over. I just have to endure some observation and discomfort overnight, and then I can go home. “Did I miss anything?”
“Nope.” Cyn pops her lollipop back into her mouth, pauses, and then takes it out again. “Are you glad it’s over?”
“That’s an understatement.” My eyes search around the room.
“Oh, he took Roxy to the cafeteria.” Cyn knew I was searching for Phillip. I quickly relax and exhale a long soothing breath. “Can I just say something?” She eyes me cautiously and twists her lollipop like she always does when she’s thinking. Her lipstick stains the stick, and I can’t possibly know what she’s about to say.
“In case you don’t know it, my brother is really head over heels for you.” She pauses for a reaction. “There’s a difference in him. You’ve done something to him.” I’m not sure if she’s getting ready to scold me or plan my wedding. Could be either, but then again, I’m on some strong drugs right now.
“What do you mean I did something to him?”
“This is a compliment. You’ve changed my brother in a good way. I’ve seen a side to him lately that I didn’t know existed,” she assures me. “I just thought you should know.” Cyn winks and replaces her lollipop.
I exhale, relieved. I begin to think back to last night when he confessed that he loved me. “He means something to me, Cyn. I love your brother.” I have to clear my throat. It’s dry and beginning to feel like sandpaper. “He’s good to me,” I add. Then I secretly think to myself, I hope I’m not a burden.
Cynthia smiles and pours a little water in a cup with a straw and hands it to me. “Sip?”
I reach for the cup and steady the straw. “Ah, better. Thank you.” I take another drink. “What’s wrong?”
“Knox could take a few pointers,” she mumbles this as if she isn’t sure if I should hear it. Confiding information and keeping secrets is one of Cynthia’s specialties. However, divulging personal information is not. She reaches to place my cup back, stretching across to the side table. Her sleeve rises on her arm, and I see the edge of a Band-Aid stick out before she pulls her sleeve back down. I don’t say anything, but concern rushes to my heart.
I decide to change the subject. “So, what are you doing later?” We’re in a cold hospital room with medical equipment and machines beeping. I’m still in my gown and hooked up to tubes in my arm, but I want to try to get the focus off me. “Something good I hope.”
She finishes her sucker and tosses the stick in a nearby trash can. “Knox and I are gonna catch a movie or something. I don’t know.” Her answer is indifferent. She’s not very convincing. I sense something is wrong but conclude that it’s not the right time to pry. She will tell me when she’s ready.
“Hey,” I lift my head a little when I see my visitors return from the cafeteria.
“I like smiles. You must be feeling a little better.” Phillip winks, allowing Roxy the closer path to my bed.
“How ya feeling, hon?” Roxy seems to be more relaxed than this morning which is a good sign.
“Not too bad, a little sore but more rested. I needed that nap.” I clear my throat again and just like clockwork, Cyn hands me my cup with the straw in it. “Thanks.”
“No prob, babe.” Cynthia stands up to let Phillip get a little closer.
He stoops over and kisses me on the forehead. “You’re starting to get your color back.” He looks pleased but I’m beginning to get a little embarrassed with the way they’re all fussing over me.
“I’m doing alright. You guys can go home whenever you want to. I’m fine, really.” I’m hoping they won’t take offense because I’m gently nudging them out the door, but I don’t like too much attention. I just want to have a little alone time with Phillip while I wait out my hospital stay, and then I want to go back to normalcy.
“If you’re sure that you’re fine, we can go on home. You can call me if you need to.” Roxy pats my leg and then tries to straighten my bed sheet.
“I’m in good hands. The hard part’s over and there’s really no reason for you to waste the whole day here. Besides, Cyn has plans later and she needs a ride home.” I smile at my best friend. “Thanks for coming to see me. I’ll be home tomorrow and you can tell me about the movie and the mistakes you found.”
Cyn eyes me carefully. “Alright then.” She leans in for a quick hug and then she and Roxy head home.
I sigh with relief that my room is finally quieter. I look over to Phillip who already reads my mind. He slips off his shoes but before I try to make a little room, he stops me, grabs my bed sheets in two places and pulls me to the side. I’m still not supposed to move much. He reaches into his overnight bag and when he turns around, I smile.
“You brought it?”
“Of course. Gotta find out what’s next.” Book in hand, he climbs in bed with me where he just made space. “I’m going to hold you and read the next part of the story.”
“This is what I needed.” My tense body finally begins to relax. With his arm around me and my IV hand resting on top so that I don’t bump it, I hold him back and that’s all the medicine I need.
“We’ll get you feeling better, baby. I promise,” he whispers.
“I already do,” I say, slowly blinking. “Where’d we leave off?”
Phillip opens the book and puts the bookmark in my lap. It’s a slightly awkward cuddle due to the fact I shouldn’t move beyond lying flat and there’s hardly any room to spare, but we make it work. Resting his head near my shoulder, he makes me feel completely at ease. “I think the guy just showed up at the diner and now she’s wigging out.”
I giggle at his assessment. “She still has feelings for him.”
“After ten years of separation. Pretty incredible.”
I turn my head to face Phillip as he clears his throat to begin reading.
“What’s the matter, Wallflower?”
I look down at his lips before looking back into his eyes. “You’re hooked. You closet-romance-booklover you.”
“Sshh don’t tell anybody.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “You’re why though.”
My lips press together in a thin line trying to reel in my tears of happiness. “I’m so glad you’re here,” my voice cracks on the strained whisper and despite my wishes, my eyes water.
“I know, baby. We’ll get you better.” He turns to the book to begin reading to get my mind off my problems.