16 - Samantha
It’s Thanksgiving night, and the night before my biopsy. We opted to have it performed the Friday after Thanksgiving so my overnight would not interfere with school. I’m still trying to maintain normal student status.
We’re up on my balcony gazing at the stars, seeing how many constellations we can pick out. I laid out some sleeping bags and my big body pillow to rest our heads on. We lay flat on our backs for a better view.
“The sky is amazing tonight.”
“What is it you like so much about the stars?”
“Well...” I stare up into the night sky, thinking about my response. I can feel the warmth from Phillip’s body close by and his lingering gaze. “I think they’re beautiful just the way they are. Some burn super bright while others just blink or flicker. But in the shadows of darkness, no matter if they shine for a short time or a long, they’re perfect.”
He laces our fingers together and repeats my last word. “Perfect.”
“Knock, knock.” Roxy pops into my room wearing her Van Halen t-shirt. “Here’s your popcorn.” She is such a sweetheart bringing snacks up to us.
“Thanks Roxy,” we answer.
“Nothing past midnight, don’t forget,” reminding us of the doctor’s orders.
“She won’t, I’ll make sure.” Phillip crosses his heart when she hands him our bowl of warm and salty popcorn.
“I’ll be downstairs, I’m turning in.” She winks.
“Goodnight, Roxy,” we chime together.
When she’s out of earshot, Phillip turns to me. “Is that purple highlights?”
I giggle, “a few, yes.” Roxy’s short pixie-like hairdo sometimes morphs into different variations of length and colors. It’s usually always as short as a boy’s haircut around her neck and ears. She just plays with the top. “Probably got some new color in and wanted to try it out.”
“It suits her.” He reaches for a handful of popcorn. “I meant to ask earlier but didn’t want to in front of her.”
“She wouldn’t have been offended.”
“Nah, I know that. It’s just she was busy cooking and all.” After I put popcorn in my mouth, Phillip takes my fingertips and licks the salt off.
“Hey, I was saving that.”
“Sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”
“How?”
Phillip ducks down and lifts the hem of my shirt just a few inches to expose a patch of my stomach near my belly button before kissing it.
I let out a shaky breath feeling heat flush my body. “W-why’d you kiss me there?”
“Apologizing to your belly for taking the yummy salt.” He leans toward my nose and kisses the tip. “That’s for you. Here.” He hands me more popcorn. “You tired?”
“It’s been a long day.”
Traditionally, Thanksgiving is a big family day. A family day with a lot of food. My doctor said I could have anything I wanted to eat before my test. He’s lifting my diet restriction so we can get an accurate reading during my biopsy. However, he warned that it could make me a little nauseous since up to this point, I’ve been so careful with my system. I decided to indulge, but with caution. Roxy told me we didn’t have to have a traditional Thanksgiving meal. We could have whatever I wanted.
To start, I was invited to Phillip and Cynthia’s. Luckily for me, they eat early so they can nibble leftovers all day while watching football. They had dinner at noon, which worked to my advantage. This allowed me to look and feel my best. I always feel better earlier in the day before taking my meds and my swelling is under control.
I went over this morning, offered my assistance in the kitchen, which was not needed, and enjoyed some of the Macy’s Day parade until it was time to eat. Knox was also invited as Cynthia’s guest. Their Uncle Harold and Aunt May on their mother’s side were invited as well, but I learned that Cousin George was in the military and would not be joining us. The rest of their family either had their own plans or lived too far away.
Our meal was delicious, but the atmosphere was eerily cold. Strange. I kept my portions small so it would not upset my stomach. Phillip fidgeted in his seat, leaning over often to check on me. I placed a hand on his thigh and patted him lightly to reassure him I was ok, but in truth, I was as ready to get out of there as he was. Coach sat at the head of the table, and at the opposite end of him was an empty place setting. I’m positive this wasn’t an oversight when their mother filled the plate then left it there to sit. It was creepy, but I didn’t dare ask.
“Did you want some more popcorn?” Phillip offers, dragging me out of my recount of today’s events.
“I don’t think so,” I shake my head. “My stomach’s bloated and queasy. Probably everything I ate today.”
When I left Phillip’s house, he came too so he could have Thanksgiving evening with Roxy and me. We walked into one of her famous cooking jam sessions. When AC/DC is playing and she’s cooking, you know you’re eating good that night. While the cymbals of “Thunderstruck” ring through our kitchen speakers, she pulls the apple pie out of the oven. The spices hit my nose and I immediately started salivating. I like apple pie much better than pumpkin. For the main course, I had asked for her famous chicken casserole instead of turkey. She used to make it for Gramps when he was alive.
She hit the oven with her hip to close it and be-bopped to the table to set it on the cooling rack. She looked up, smiled and waved, then started shaking her head to the beat and turned back to the sink to do something else.
“It’s not midnight yet, do you want some Pepto Bismol?” He had already started to get up to go and get it.
“Yes please.”
“Anything for you, baby.” He sets the popcorn bowl down far enough away that it won’t nauseate my precarious stomach and leaves quickly to retrieve my pink savior. I enjoy watching him gracefully walk through my bedroom. Earlier he had changed into sweats, which he pulled up, showing off his muscular calves. His tank-top showcases his muscular arms and broad, sculpted shoulders. There’s no doubt he’s athletic.
“Why are you smiling? I thought you didn’t feel well?” He hands me my Pepto.
“I’m enjoying my scenery.” A guilty snicker escapes my lips before drinking down the much-needed minty pink stuff.
“Oh, I see.” If it hadn’t been night, I would guess his cheeks to have a little rosiness in them now. Apparently, men can get embarrassed too. “I thought that was what the stars were for.”
“Yeah, they’re nice too.” I wash the pink stuff down with my bottled water I always keep handy. Phillip curls up next to me again on our pile of sleeping bags. Even though he’s lying right next to me, he suddenly appeared to be miles away. “Are you ok?” I can sense something isn’t right.
He draws a deep breath and ruffles his hair running his fingers wildly through it. “I was just thinking about your Pepto Bismol.”
“Oh, I’m sorry!” I cup my hand over my mouth, self-conscience about my breath now.
“No, you’re fine.” He moves my hand away. “Dinner today at my house nearly made me need a whole bottle. That’s all.”
I lean forward, resting my weight on my arm and elbow. Phillip is lying on his back. The moonlight accents his features and makes him even more beautiful.
“Are you talking about the extra dinner plate?” His eyes flicker back and forth between me and the starry sky.
“Yes. The empty place setting.” Closing his eyes, his brows wrinkle to the middle making a huge crease “I don’t know why they insist on filling a plate and placing it where Chase used to sit,” he says coldly. I know it’s hard for him to speak about his brother. I can count on one hand the number of times he’s mentioned Chase, and I would still have fingers left.
Not knowing what’s appropriate, I simply offer this. “All people cope differently. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, but it was different.”
His eyes fly open. “It was morbid!” He takes a deep breath, letting it out sharply. Then he focuses his gaze on me.
“Like I said, different.” I don’t want to belittle his parents’ coping habits and I certainly don’t want to upset him further. I lean down and gently kiss his hand that is folded across his chest. “You enjoyed yourself at my Thanksgiving, right?”
“Of course. You didn’t have any full plates of food laid out as an offering to the dead.” He rolls his eyes, disgusted by his family.
“Okay, Mr. Ward. I get it. You were creeped out, or embarrassed, or forced to remember your brother. It was uncomfortable, but no matter what, you got through it. It’s behind you now, and you’re ok.” If it came across as a scolding, I didn’t mean for it to. Phillip’s forehead creases with worry. He props up on both his elbows half sitting, an apologetic expression dances across his face.
“I’m sorry—”
“Shh, you don’t have to be.” I shake my head. “I’m not seeking any kind of apology.”
“Samantha, I want to apologize. We’re supposed to be forgetting your worries, not mine. I’m sucking the fun out of our evening.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” I assure him. “You’re allowed to have your own worries. It. Is. OK.” Emphasizing that it’s alright to have insecurities and worries is strange for me. New territory. I find myself smack in the middle of the catchphrase ‘practice what you preach.’ I always try to be normal and act like nothing is wrong when in fact I have a lot wrong. Am I a hypocrite? Or just being optimistic that I’ll get better? Maybe I’m just trying to give the one I’m in a relationship with a pep talk so he can feel better. Either way, I know it’ll be alright.
My hand feels the warmth and contour of his dimple and cheek when I touch my palm to his face. He tilts his head toward my hand. “Everything will work out,” I say, smiling the most convincing smile I can muster.
“You’re right,” he agrees, more relaxed now. He sits up the rest of the way, positioning himself to be directly across from me. “Come here.” He pats his leg for me to sit on his lap. I get up and straddle his legs, facing him. He wraps a blanket around me so I won’t get a chill, then tucks his arms around me. Phillip gazes deep into my blue eyes for a long time. I can see he appears to be thinking, so I enjoy gazing back.
“What is it?”
He rakes his teeth along his lip, considering. I can’t help but look at his mouth, wanting to kiss it.
“Samantha Stone, I’ve fallen in love with you.”
My heart skips a beat. Did I hear him correctly? Am I dreaming? “Phillip—”
“You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to—” I quickly stop him, leaning in for a kiss. I can’t take it anymore.
I pull back and Phillip tries to catch his breath. “I’m so in love with you,” I answer. His smile gleams and his eyes sparkle brighter than the stars we were supposed to be observing. That’s my Phillip. He was lost for a moment but found his way back. I wrap my arms around him as he squeezes me tighter.
“Samantha, I mean it. I really do love you. I don’t ever want to be without you.”
I run my fingers slowly through his hair then kiss the tip of his nose like he usually does to me. “I knew it before you told me.”
I’m not sure, but I think out of the corner of my eye, I see a falling star. Whether it was there or not, I got my wish tonight. I love Phillip and he loves me back. Nothing else matters.