23. Natalie
Natalie
“Yes, that would be perfect. The sunset would be gorgeous. And I have a few tricks up my sleeve for keeping kids happy and entertained during our session … Alright, let me know if anything comes up or if you have any questions. See you then. Bye.”
I hang up, smiling, and add another family photo session to my digital calendar.
Jules told a bunch of her friends that I was in town, and they’re all calling to schedule sessions with me while I’m here.
I still don’t know what was wrong with her during lunch last week, but I’m grateful for her sending business my way.
I’ll have to thank her. She could have let me struggle with this all on my own, but for some reason she didn’t.
Luke walks by, stopping behind the couch to kiss the top of my head.
I lean back, lifting my face to him, and he kisses my lips upside down like Spider-Man.
His nose grazes my chin, and I can’t help but laugh.
We haven’t been intimate in all the time that he’s been here, besides the kissing, but there have been plenty of sweet, loving moments like this.
It’s not that I don’t want to have an intimate relationship with my husband—I do.
But we’re in limbo. We haven’t resolved the to have children or not to have children problem yet.
Or, as Luke calls it, the bump in the road.
Having no solid rock to stand on, I don’t have the courage to give myself over to him completely just yet.
At least not physically. I know I’ll get back to that point, it’s just taking me longer than I’d like.
My heart, on the other hand? He can have it. He’s proven he wants it.
He frames my face in his hands now. His lips are warm and full against the side of my mouth.
He trails kisses over my jawbone and down my neck as it stretches long, exposing my skin to him.
He turns my head to the side, sliding his mouth back up my neck until his lips kiss my earlobe.
It makes me shiver and laugh until I swat him away.
“Did you get another client?” Luke asks as he walks around the leather couch, dressed in athletic shorts and a T-shirt.
His old sneakers are clean and pristine, like everything about him always is.
He places a hand on the mantel over the empty hearth, pulling his foot up behind him and stretching out his quad.
“Yeah, I’ve been getting calls all morning. I didn’t realize I’d be as excited as I am until it started happening. Jules must have really sent the word out.”
“It was really nice of her to do that,” he says.
“It really was,” I say thoughtfully. “By the way, I was thinking of going into town to photograph the shops.”
He switches legs. “That’s a good idea. Did you plan a date with Juliet for when you’ll do their family photos yet?”
I shake my head. “No, not yet. I’m kind of nervous to talk to her right now. She acted so weird the other day at lunch. She hasn’t really said much to me since then.”
“Well.” He groans as he slowly lowers to the floor, stretching his legs before him, and pulling on the toes of his shoes. “You said she should have just moved away like everyone else. Must have been something about that that rubbed her the wrong way.”
I click away at my laptop, searching for the best spots to stage photos.
After a moment, my eyes find his. I sigh.
“I wonder why she didn’t leave Maple Lake when my parents did.
Or when Tyler moved. It’s not like she had any other family here or had to stay for Cam.
He wasn’t even back in town at that point. ”
“I don’t know, but there must have been a reason. Maybe she didn’t want to leave her work at the hospital. It’s possible she got really attached to the people there.”
I bite my lip and look up, searching the ceiling like maybe there’s an answer hanging from the exposed beam over the living room.
Unfortunately, I don’t see anything helpful.
I sigh. “Who knows? I feel like I can’t bring it up, though. She might bite my head off.”
Luke stands up from the floor, shaking out his legs.
He’s started running the trails around the cabin the past few mornings.
It’s nice to see him sticking to his daily routine while he’s here.
Luke’s the kind of person who can be somewhere new every day and still manage to keep to a daily schedule that essentially looks the same everywhere.
He laughs and shrugs his shoulders. “She might bite your head off, but she’d have me to deal with if that happens.”
I roll my eyes. “You can’t protect me from my own sister. She has a lot of stuff to deal with. Stuff I put her through. I can’t blame her for getting mad when I say the wrong thing, even if I don’t know what those wrong things are.”
“You’ll figure it out.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “You always do. I’ll be back soon. Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” he adds.
I shake my head. “Maybe next time.” Maybe never. I’m not a runner, never have been.
I reach out and grab his hand just as he’s turning away. He looks back at me, stopping in his tracks and searching my eyes. “Thank you,” I say, “for coming here. For being here for me.”
His hand wraps around mine. “I know you didn’t ask me to come, but I thought you could use the support. I knew you were having a hard time, and coming back to your family was a massive event—life-altering.”
Luke’s spicy sea-breeze scent surrounds me as he leans down again, his hands bracing the back of the couch on either side of my shoulders, caging me in. He’s so close I could kiss him, nip at his chin, bump his nose with mine.
He takes me in with his eyes, trapping me between his arms. “I love you. And wherever you are is where I want to be. Me and you?” He nods between us, his ocean eyes steadily holding mine.
“We’re a unit. I know you’re figuring out a lot with your family right now, and I know it’s a lot to figure out us at the same time.
So I’m not going to ask you to balance it all at once.
Your family first, and then us. I just want to be here for you through it—for as long as you’ll have me. ”
Words escape me, and it’s all I can do to breathe him in and accept his help without anything in return. It feels selfish and desperate on my part, but he’s right. It’s all I can deal with right now. One thing at a time.
I nod, and he leans down, kissing my cheek. I turn my face toward his lips, my body pulling itself to him like the south pole of a magnet gliding toward its north counterpart. But before my lips reach his, he pulls back, smiling at me.
“I’ll see you soon.” And then he winks and walks out the back door.
A few days later, I’ve already taken photos of two families who live in Maple Lake, one of which wanted their session done at their gorgeous farmhouse. They just had a baby a few months ago and were ecstatic that I was in town to take an updated photo of their beautiful growing family.
I’ve been tiptoeing around Jules, being careful with everything I say. I’ve spent time at her house with Mom and Dad present, but I haven’t had the guts to discuss her reaction to me at the diner.
Mom slides up behind me in Juliet’s breakfast nook and rests a glass of water on the round table where I’ve been working.
I’ve been coming over almost every day to see my parents and nephews, and, when the boys are otherwise engaged, I work on bookings, photo edits, and my social media posts.
With my parents willing to help with the kids, Jules picked up a few extra hours at the hospital.
With a tired sigh, Mom sits on the chair beside me. “Archie is finally down for his nap. That boy is getting too old for naps, though. Any day now, he’ll be refusing to sleep. What are you working on?” She leans toward my laptop screen. “Oh, are these some of the photos you took this week?”
I smile at her. “Yeah. I did an in-home session for a family with a new baby. Aren’t they great?
” I turn the screen toward her so she has a better view.
“The baby was absolutely perfect. He slept the whole time. And the husband was surprisingly photogenic. It was a relief because the men don’t usually like photo shoots. ”
“Well, Natalie, you’re not in the big city anymore.
The people and the families here are different.
” Rays of yellow sun stream through the window, exciting a mason jar full of lilies of the valley that acts as a centerpiece.
I can almost see their little white bells turning toward the waves of light, seeking the nutrients that help them grow.
“What do you mean they’re different?” I ask my mom.
“People in small towns don’t take the little things—like family photos—for granted.
The men here may be a little gruff at times, a little rough around the edges, but they sure know when they have a good thing.
Look at Cam for example. He’s an outdoorsman through and through; he was even sort of a loner at one point.
But he’d do anything for Jules and the boys now.
Nothing is too much to stomach if it’s for his family.
Not even family photos.” She chuckles and peers toward the window, where, outside, Cam throws a ball with Levi.
I lean back in my chair, staring at the family of four on my computer screen.
The couple told me they’d been married only two years, and they were already celebrating the birth of their second child.
A pit in my stomach opens, and I shove all my fear and my need to run away as far down into it as I can.
“How did you know Dad was the one for you?” I ask, turning to catch my mom’s expression.
She looks at me for a second as her blue eyes search my face. Her blonde ponytail that was once full and bright is thin and dull. And as tight as her ponytail is, it doesn’t change the fine wrinkles that line her eyes or the age spots that dot her soft cheeks.