33. Sawyer
There wasa lot I’m not sure of in this world. I’m not sure why a woman like Lucy would give me a second of her time. And I’m definitely not sure why I could never make love work out the way I want it to. What I am sure of, though, is Rider will not be the same until the day Lucy returns.
In my senior year of high school, I believed that I was all in with a girl that I had dated all four years. We made it into our freshmen year of college before we broke things off. Our love was nowhere near as passionate and thrilling as the love I have for Lucy. And that’s okay—it was young love, a kind I was thankful for.
We never had any bad blood, we simply fizzled out. Fizzled out. Almost five years together and all I could do is compare the relationship to a flat soda. It wasn’t far from it, though. Our love became tasteless.
She would stand beside me at press conferences, clap when my grandfather completed his speeches, or nod when he suggested new concepts at family dinners. I knew how life with her was going to look before it even started, it became predictable with her.
She was a dream girl. For someone else.
A month after we broke up, she started dating none other than Aaron Nelson. They got married and then divorced by the age of twenty-two.
I never wanted a love like that again. I wanted electricity to surge through my veins at the simplest thought of my significant other. And I found that with Lucy.
I knew she never had plans to stay from the get-go. But I wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass without experiencing a love like this. Lucy is the kind of person who searches for more out of life while simultaneously making the most of what she already has.
The smell of sunscreen and early morning airport brew wafted back and forth with every terminal that I passed. There was officially one month left of summer, with families and bachelorette parties in full vacation mode and all I got were these summertime blues. Pizza was already in the oven at one of the corner restaurants. I stopped to grab a slice and a beer before bothering to find my terminal.
A dark green duffle bag with fairies and flowers all over slammed down in the seat beside me, nudging into my elbow and almost spilling my very much-needed drink. I picked it up with the overflow spilling off the sides.
“Need a napkin?”
“Yeah, tha?—”
I dropped my drink to the ground, stunned.
I’m sorry to the custodian for this mess, I promise it was an accident and completely worth it…
“You came.”
“That’s what she said.”
And suddenly we were back at The Hideout, walking the loop around the lake.
I remember feeling incredibly shocked that she showed up. Sure enough, the ego balloon deflated when I remembered she knew other people there that night. But it still felt like she was there for me, and me alone.
It was the beginning of everything.
I have a feeling this is just another one of those beginnings.
“Oh, my Lucy,” I cried out and leaned over for a kiss. It was a drug-like kiss and I was getting my fix.
“I’m ready to come home,” she spoke into my mouth.
I pulled away and widened my already enormous smile. “Home. I love the sound of that.” She was ready to go home, and I was ready for my home to be her. I pulled her bar stool over, the legs making a heinous screeching noise that made those around us turn quickly.
Steadying herself, she stared at me as if she could see all of me. I couldn’t wait to share all of me with all of her.
The reflection of myself in the lightest shade of green told me all that I needed to know—that I could see forever with her.
As we settled ourselves, I closed out my tab and moved us to our terminal. I flung my backpack over my shoulder, took her bag in one hand, and used my free hand to hold her tight against me. She took her ticket in between both of her hands and gripped the edges. The glow of her smile warmed me by just standing beside her.
“I don’t want you to think that I am coming home for you. I–I mean, well… Let me start over. I’m not coming home for you,” she said in a serious tone that pulled a chuckle out of me. “Man, I’m messing this up.”
She shook her words off and sat herself up straight, placing her arms on either armrests.
“Being back at Hummingbird Lake, I found myself again. The person who used to look forward to her future. And for a fraction of a time, I was granted peace of mind this summer. Even when it didn’t feel like it, even when I did everything in my power to push it away, the salt air somehow cleansed my soul and I felt like me again. I realize that now. The soft dirt and dark moss that belong to Hummingbird Lake belonged to me again. You helped make that happen, ya know.” She softened her voice and took my hand in her lap. Her thumb traced over mine. “I don’t want to push you away. I don’t want to push anything away anymore.”
Hummingbird Lake always had a way of making your life change for the better. It held answers in the rings of the trees and gave you purpose whenever the sun glistened on top of the water.
“I’m just scared of—” she paused and started to blush.
“I got you. It’s okay…”
“I think I have the potential of really falling in love with you, Sawyer Banks. And that scares me.”
I inherited a grin that the Cheshire Cat would be envious of.
“I think you made it known you were falling for me from the first day that I met you.”
She looked at me, stunned. It took her a second to register. She then pushed at my chest and snickered.
“That was more like falling into you, not the same thing.”
“Oh, sorry, my bad.” I pulled her in for a hug, a laugh broke from my chest and vibrated against her head. “It felt all the same to me. But maybe that’s because I started to fall for you the second I laid my eyes on you.”
A tender kiss was placed on my cheek after she broke from my hold.
“I still can’t help but feel like this is crazy, like we are crazy… Like I am crazy for going against the grain,” she said quietly into her lap.
Everything has always been unspoken between the two of us. Right from the beginning. We fell into step with each other and I cannot wait to walk through life with her to the ends of the earth. And I am here to reassure her that she is the most sane person I have ever met.
“Alright, say that you are. Say that we are crazy,” I finally said. “Are you going to say it’s a coincidence that the universe has pulled us together, needing and wanting each other, all summer long?”
“I guess not…”
“We were meant to meet in this lifetime, Lucy. And I am so lucky and privileged to admit that I am madly, deeply in love with you.”
And now, the knot inside my chest had undone itself. The words I’ve wanted to say from the moment I realized I felt them were out in the world. I could breathe again.
I had no idea when I’d have the nerve to drive the truck again, but considering it was raining when it was time to head to the airport, I opted out of using my bike. A promise I had made to my mother was I would never drive in wet weather. It was a good call, and I believe it worked in my favor. A good lucky charm of sorts.
Lucy had fallen asleep on the way back from the airport. Her muffled and barely there snoring filled the cab.
“Hey, baby. We’re here,” I kissed the top of her head that was snuggled into my neck.
She slowly pulled herself up straight and looked out the passenger side window. “Ah, yes. Coffee.” She perked up, already with her hand on the seat buckle, and bolted for the door of Jitters.
I strolled in behind her as she was quick to start ordering from Kai. They leaned over the counter to hug her, spewing out all sorts of things they had to do to prepare for their open house.
“Let the girl get her caffeine, will you?” I came up behind Lucy, placing my hand on her lower back as I slid my card across the counter.
Kai tapped away on the tablet, entering our order. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Sounds good,” Lucy gave Kai a gentle smile as they handed us our drinks.
We hadn’t even made it two steps from the counter before it plunged to the ground. Vanilla-scented coffee and ice splattered on our feet.
“Mom?!”
“Hello, dear.” A woman who looked like Lucy, they could be twins if only Lucy had frown lines and a permanent look of disgust, stood inches before us. She reached her hand out to me, her nails perfectly manicured a devilish red color. “Hi, I’m Sunny. Lucy’s mother.”
“Sunny, is it? You don’t look very sunny to me. Let’s go, Luce.” I pulled her in close to me, covering her whole body with mine. Knowing what I now know, I was not going to let Lucy spend a second on her and I wanted to shield her from that walking hurricane.
We had made it to the door when the screeching sound of her voice brought us to a standstill. “Wait! A word with my daughter please?” She demanded.
I looked down at Lucy. Her face was a ghostly shade of white before it turned green. She looked over at her mom, at me, and then out the front door. She was assessing her options.
The presence of her mother dulled the sparkle in Lucy’s eyes. The darkness alluded to her wanting nothing more than to book it out the front door. And I’d run out right alongside her. Instead, she pulled away from me and clenched her jaw.
“I’ll only take a few minutes. Wait for me?”
I pushed the door open and stood in the entryway, “Always. I love you.”
She perched up on her highest of tiptoes and planted a kiss on my cheek. She marched away, switching to an identical scowl, the same one her mother was sporting.