Chapter 9 Audrey
Nine: Audrey
Painted Him Perfect - Alexandra Kay
“The first time was a mistake, the second was too … And then I met Micah and we felI in love … And then Vivian needed a shoulder to lean on. I was just being a good friend.”
I repeat one of Paul’s many voicemails in my head over and over again as I pace Selena’s living room, ignoring the lingering pain in my ankle and the ache in my back.
She and I both called in sick today. I think she was worried about me being alone with my thoughts, or putting a hole through her floor because I can’t stop pacing.
I don’t blame her. The last twenty-four hours have been nothing short of emotionally exhausting and confusing; first Paul and then Noah.
Biting down on my lip, I exhale. “He used to love me …”
“You deserve better. Seriously, he’s a jerk, Audrey. His dick should get stuck in an elevator door,” Selena offers. She’s spent the better part of the last few hours coming up with ways we can castrate Paul’s “micropenis.”
Right about now, I wouldn’t mind that happening to him.
“Not Paul. I mean, yes, Paul … but did he really? You don’t cheat on someone you love. Right?” I push him out of my thoughts, focusing on bright blue eyes. “I meant Noah.”
Selena’s face breaks out in a giant grin. “Wait, what? Excuse me, back up a second! Noah said he loved you?”
I nod slowly as Selena jumps up and down in front of me, like I just told her we won the lottery.
“Why was this not the first thing you told me?”
Maybe because the guy I thought I loved is a cheating asshole, and my body fucking hurts.
I shake my head, sitting on the couch. “When I called Connor yesterday, Noah picked up the phone …” I proceed to tell her about our conversation.
Selena does a little happy dance. “Ah, this is the moment I’ve been so desperately hoping would come after hearing about him so much over the years! That’s so sweet. Are you hoping he comes with your brother and plays the white knight?”
I shrug, not really sure how to answer that. Part of me wants him to hold me right now, to pick up the pieces, and part of me knows my emotions are too raw and I’d probably do something stupid.
Like asking if he used to love me …
Suddenly, angry fists bang on the front door.
Connor’s here.
Selena opens the door and he doesn’t even stop to greet her. Instead, he races over to me and hugs me against him, taking in the cuts and bruises on my face. “I’m going to fucking kill him,” he mutters as a fresh batch of tears flows down my cheek.
Why am I more sad that Noah isn’t here, than I am about Paul being a lying cheater?
When we get to the house it no longer feels like a quaint home full of love.
Instead, I fixate on the chipping paint and the shingles that need replacing.
The flower beds are full of weeds and the front step creaks.
It suddenly feels like a home I have no attachment to.
Almost like overnight, ivy grew around the cracks and rotted it out.
Ruining it, the way Paul ruined our relationship.
“Let’s do this.” Selena gives my hand a reassuring squeeze as she and Connor pull me towards the front door.
The front hallway is a boring beige color Paul picked out when we moved in. I never liked it to begin with, but now it feels even uglier.
“I’ll work on your closet. Connor, you grab family heirlooms and shit. Auds … you do whatever you need right now, okay? But if you feel like setting his clothes on fire is what you want, then I’m all for it.”
I don’t respond, but crack a small smile. Opening the front closet, I pull out all of my coats and shoes, figuring this is a safe starting point.
Connor rented a U-haul and brought enough boxes to pack up fifteen houses. I assemble a few boxes and arrange items by season, trying to block out the memories that this house used to hold for me.
Where will I go?
The thought hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel my legs give out. I grab the Royals baseball cap Connor bought me when he was drafted and hold it against my chest.
Maybe I can move to Missouri and get a fresh start? Yeah … well, if I’d gone with Connor from the start, I never would’ve ended up in this mess.
And if I’d gone to Texas …
Don’t go there right now.
“Fuck, sis,” Connor’s voice breaks through my sadness. “C’mon let’s get you on the couch.” He lifts me up without hesitation. “Will A Walk to Remember cheer you up?”
I can’t find the words to answer him, but once he pulls me over to the couch, he sets the movie up for me anyways before disappearing upstairs again.
Selena and my brother move around the house and I occasionally get a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye as they pass through the hallway.
As I stare numbly at the TV, all I can think about is whether it belongs to me or Paul.
I did buy it, didn’t I?
Even Shane West isn’t enough to distract me from the framed picture of me and Paul that keeps staring at me.
I squint, taking in our body language, neither of us are leaning into the other and my smile doesn’t reach my eyes.
I move around the living room, assessing each photo, watching as my smile gets smaller over the years and the distance between us grows.
It’s funny to me, realizing we grew apart long before I thought we did. My sadness suddenly feels non-existent as a flood of bad memories with Paul passes through my head.
“Ew. That dress makes you look fat,” Paul snorts out from behind me.
“Could you have said that a bit nicer?” I frown, unzipping the sapphire-colored dress my mom bought me. I love this dress.
He gives me a pointed look. “Would you rather me lie to you and have everyone make fun of you all day? Then have you look back in three years from now and hate how you look?”
Ouch.
“No, I guess not … ” I reply quietly.
“Relax, Audrey. It’s just important that you look good in the photos. It’s my graduation after all.”
It’s our graduation.
“I’m trying to study, dammit. Could you go cry somewhere else?”
My lip trembles as I wipe my tears. “My mom just called me. My grandpa died.”
He barely looks up from his textbook. “Old people die Audrey, it’s a part of life. Get over it.”
“Paul. My grandpa died!” I exclaim more firmly.
He looks over his shoulder and smiles. “Oh, sorry Audrey. I was in the zone for a minute there. Come here, let me kiss your pain away.”
“Crafting is for children, Audrey. Why would someone want a hand made scarf as a gift?” He snickers, tossing the scarf I spent weeks perfecting on the floor beside the Christmas tree like it's nothing. I stare down at my hands, trying not to cry. “It’s like that Cricutting thing you used to do. It’s not a real hobby. Grow up.”
He should’ve been home forty minutes ago, it's been two hours since he said he was leaving work.
I text him again, telling him I’m worried about him and I want him to come home.
The front door opens. “Holy fuck, Audrey, stop hounding me. I’m home. What’s the big fucking deal?”
His expression changes when he notices the balloons, the streamers, and the crowd of people.
“Surprise …” his mom calls out weakly, while everyone else seems unsure how to respond.
I force a smile, fighting back tears. “Happy birthday, Paul.”
He looks almost as shell-shocked as I feel.
His hand wraps around my neck, and my eyes widen in surprise. “Does my dirty girl like that?”
I can’t get enough air into my lungs to say no—to tell him to stop.
“Take every inch of my fat cock, Audrey.” His movements are hard, forceful.
Unlike any time before.
Tears fill my eyes as his hand lets go of my neck, it’s the same moment he releases inside me.
I barely hear them moving around the house, I barely pay attention to anything as one memory flows into another.
Not until I hear, “Audrey.”
I whip around to face Paul with a frown. He’s standing in the front hallway with his hand tightly wrapped around a blonde woman’s waist.
I feel like I’m looking at a stranger. He knew I was coming to get my stuff. He knew I would be here.
I stare at him, gobsmacked.
We fought barely twenty-four hours ago and he’s bringing her to our house?
Does she know I exist?
I look at the clock, it’s just past noon and something hits me. “She was the one here yesterday, wasn’t she …?”
Paul looks between me and the other woman, not an ounce of guilt written across his face.
Bile fills my mouth when he looks at her and says, “Pumpkin. It’s not what you think.”
Seriously?! Pumpkin … asshole.
“Wh–” the lady starts, but before Paul or I can speak, the sound of heavy footsteps fills the space.
“YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!” Connor comes barrelling down the stairs, nostrils flaring and pushes Paul into the wall. “Get the fuck out of here!”
The clearly confused blonde woman finally manages to speak, “Paul, what’s going on? Who are these people?”
Connor, usually a calming force, turns to her with fire in his eyes.
“Paul and Audrey were a couple for seven years, until he cheated on her and smashed her face into that bannister over there. We’re in the middle of cleaning her stuff out of the house so she can get as far away from this abusive, cheating, narcissistic asshole as possible. ”
The woman looks in my direction before turning to face Paul, clearly shocked. “You told me she was your cousin.”
Really?
“Jesus fuck, Paul!” Connor groans before decking him in the jaw.
A loud crack sounds before Paul is knocked on his ass, frowning.
The only words that come out of my mouth are, “Connor! Your hand!”
He looks over at me, seemingly glad that I’m less of a zombie, at least momentarily. “It’s well worth it, Auds. I’m more than willing to do it again, too.”
Paul’s jaw is already swelling when the woman looks around at all of us and mumbles, “I’m so sorry,” before running out the door.