25. Chapter 25
twenty-five
N ot so long ago Julian never would’ve guessed he’d be nursing a busted hand and a broken heart.
The accident happened over a month ago now. It was obvious his hand wasn’t all the way healed, but he was bored as hell. Because his hand had difficulty curling around the handles of his tools, it forced him to take frequent breaks. He forced himself to keep plugging along.
Rest alone isn’t going to heal this heartache.
Early in the afternoon, his stomach growled for the fourth or fifth time.
He finally gave up, loaded into his truck, and made the drive down the mountain to No Wait Diner.
He sat at the counter. It was mid-afternoon, so the place was nearly empty.
He ordered his usual, but once the food was in front of him, he seemingly lost interest.
Ellie, standing on the other side of the counter as she ate lunch and studied a kitchen gadget catalog, glanced up and smirked.
“Normally I’ve brought you two servings and two pieces of pie to go. Got a bug in your stomach today?”
“Not in my stomach. I’ll take a doggy bag.” He sat up and pushed his burger plate away. He was still starving, but couldn’t seem to get much down. He had a huge stack of fries and a half-eaten burger he’d save for dinner .
“Crazy how little this place has changed since I was a girl.” She crunched on a chip. “It’s the only thing I care about in Northgold.” She lowered her voice. “I honestly hate this damn town.”
Julian raised a brow. They’d drifted apart after he’d gotten sober.
During the anniversary renovations, they’d quickly made up for lost time.
So far, they’d replaced the booths and painted.
They planned to lay down new flooring that weekend.
He usually played the listener, just like he had when they’d gone to the same parties.
In the before. Whether or not Ellie still partied was a different question he couldn’t answer, but during their younger days, he’d never heard her utter such a snide comment about Northgold.
She rolled her eyes. “Some old fogies already made cracks about the improvements.”
“You serious?”
“Mr. and Mrs. Sharp asked why I was turning it into ‘some high-britches bistro.’” Ellie curled her lip.
Bitterness darkened her eyes. “They want what’s familiar.
Even if it means cracked pleather held together with duct tape.
It’s mine now. If I’m stuck in this town, it’s going to look how I want it to look. ”
“I don’t think they’ll stay too sour once you remind them how good a cook you are,” Julian said.
Ellie grinned. “And if they don’t like it, the door can hit them on the ass on the way out!” She picked up her sandwich, but didn’t take a bite. Her smirk faded. “Too many people ‘know’ me. You know how it is, Julian. God, you do.”
Julian looked away. He put a fry in his mouth.
“Mom and Papa worked so hard. Everybody knows it. And I’m good.
God, I’m good. But I’m not them. And I’m here, and they ‘know’ me.
” Ellie traded her bitter voice for the familial tone she reserved for her favorite customers.
“I’m surprised you’ve stuck around, Julian.
If I were you, I would’ve bailed and never come back to Northgold again. ”
Julian shifted his feet and rolled his shoulders. “Yeah.” He leveled his gaze at her.
Ellie stopped mid-bite. “Oh, Julian. I don’t mean to– I was just... Here I am, goin’ on and bringing up the past like an idiot. I was just saying. Really, if I didn’t have the diner, I don’t know where I’d be. Not here.”
He wasn’t sure to what extent ‘not here’ meant, but he nodded. He felt his hackles go back down. “Sometimes a few miles out of town feels too close.”
“Wish people kept their noses out of people’s business.”
Julian nodded.
Ellie closed her catalog. She then leaned in conspiratorially. “I’ll be honest. When you first started coming around with the varsity crowd, I thought you liked me, the way you listened like no other guy would. Even when all I had to say was garbage that made no sense in the morning.”
He grinned. Ellie had been like a big sister or cousin to him.
Although those had been dark days, half the reason to go to parties in town had been the chance to see Ellie, who had graduated high school the year before he’d entered.
It saddened him now that he’d forgotten most of what they’d talked about, but he’d always felt welcomed and seen.
“I was devastated when you stopped showing up. I suppose I shoulda stopped showing up long before you stopped.” Her smile returned. “I’m glad you’re better. You and that cute girl... still... together?”
“Oh. Annie?” He shrugged. “No.”
“Really? Seemed sweet. Seemed sweet on you? She ghost you or something? ”
Another shrug. If Annie wanted him, she'd make it happen. “She’s got her own thing... and shit’s about to hit the fan here, too.”
“How so?” Ellie looked around the restaurant, confused.
Shit... It had been nice to have an actual normal conversation with someone while it lasted.
“What? I mean... With you? You don’t have to tell me.”
He licked his lips and lowered his voice. She’ll find out eventually anyways. “Dad’s getting out of prison early.”
Ellie’s jaw dropped. She put her palm on the side of her head. Oh shit.. . she mouthed.
“Yeah.”
“That’s rough. I’m sorry…”
The way Ellie pitied him made Julian regret saying anything. "Don't tell anyone," he asserted, to which Ellie shook her head in agreement. She pretended to button her lips.
Julian had been depressed and plagued by insomnia since his dad had written to him.
He was glad for the temporary distraction of the diner, but knew things would only get worse.
He wasn't sure where his dad was going to live— Julian had taken over the family house and was currently renting it out.
Would his dad make him kick out the renters?
Surely then that would spread like wildfire through town, that Clive Lincoln was back.
What if Dad returns to his old ways?
That thought made Julian's blood boil.
"Well, you’re a real catch," Ellie then, matter-of-factly said, grinning.
Julian came out of his rueful musing. "There's other women."
They’re just not Annie .
"There’s the dream team!" Teagan said as he came upon them. He’d walked into work that day with electric green locks. He stood behind Ellie. He glanced at Julian. “Tired?”
"Julian's pining after that cute little lady we saw him with."
Instantly a flush of heat went to Julian's face at Ellie’s teasing.
“Oh? Where she at?”
“Went back home. She’s not from here.”
“No cap, that’s it...? Shame.” Teagan tsked.
Ellie grinned, chin propped up by her palm as she played with a crumb on the countertop. "You two really looked good together. Maybe try reaching out to her again? Tease her a little? I definitely saw hearts when you two were around each other."
Julian was too miffed and busy, but for Ellie's sake he nodded. "Maybe. Communication's a two-way street."
"Of course it is, hun." Ellie then slapped the counter. She then turned to Teagan and did an up-down. “I can’t– I mean I guess I can believe it. We film tomorrow, and that’s the color you pick?”
Teagan shrugged. “That’s why I picked it.”
Ellie rolled her eyes. She then turned and smiled at Julian. “Can I count on you to get Rich here tomorrow morning for the commercial?”
“Commercial?”
Ellie clucked her tongue. “Yes. You forgot?”
He wrinkled his nose. “Sorry. You got him to agree to participate?”
“Er… He more or less said he didn’t have the face for TV, and I then said ‘Oh, nonsense, you’re part of the town, and got that rugged good looks thing going on.’”
“I’ll need to bribe him. Or kidnap him. ”
“Whatever it takes. Promise him a week of free dinners if you have to.” She turned to her young employee.
“Teagan, mind grabbing a rag and helping me tidy up? Oh, before I forget.” She disappeared into the kitchen, returned with a to-go container, and looked Julian in the eye.
“10am. Both of you wear something decent.”
“I’ll do what I can. But I make no promises.” Julian pulled out his wallet and left enough cash to cover his bill plus a generous tip. He reached for the box. The diner’s bell chimed as another customer walked in, but Julian barely registered the sound.
Outside, he sat in his truck for a long moment before starting the engine.
He glanced at his reflection in the rearview mirror.
An unkempt beard shadowed his jaw. I don’t exactly have a face for TV right now, either…
Was he becoming the very thing he’d spent years running away from– a man haunted by ghosts he couldn’t shake?
Everyone here knew him, his past, his father’s crimes. And soon they’d all know his father was back.
He gripped the steering wheel, feeling the worn leather against his palm.
Annie would’ve understood. He missed the way she made him feel like more than just Julian Lincoln, son of Clive, the town pariah.
She’d become the person he wanted to tell everything to– about his dad, his struggles, and the way Northgold felt like hell but also heaven all at once.
He rolled the window down, letting in the mountain air, and pulled out of his parking spot. Maybe it was time to consider the non-considerable.
Leaving Northgold completely.
He could start over somewhere new. Somewhere no one knew the Lincoln name and the stain his father had left on it. Somewhere he could just be Julian the woodsman .
You’d never see Annie again. Not even a glimpse of her at the neighbor’s cabin.
But was that all just a fantasy? Truly? On one hand, if he stayed, Annie would still be Annie– uninterested, unreachable. He could see her every day again and it wouldn’t matter one ounce. On the other, he’d just be running from his problems, like he had with the drinking.
Clarity washed over him and he ran a hand through his hair. These last few weeks, he’d been putting his life on hold, waiting for a text that never came. Sure, he’d been trying to work, but he’d only been going through the motions. The realization hit with the force of a falling tree.
At the head of his driveway, he pulled over to the side.
He pulled out his phone and scrolled to his contacts list. He hadn’t had the heart to even archive their chat, but with a sigh he hit the delete contact button before deleting their last conversation.
The phone screen stared up at him before he tossed the phone onto the passenger seat.
Running away. No. He couldn’t. This was his home. His mountain. His trees. Cabin. His business that he’d built with his own two hands– hands that had once shaken with withdrawal and doubt. The trees had watched him break, grow, and rebuild.
Julian put his truck in drive and continued up his driveway with newfound determination.
As he pulled up to his cabin, he noticed the pile of uncut wood waiting along the side of the house.
Just sitting while he wallowed. That week, a few customers at No Wait Diner had asked if he had any dry firewood available, but he’d been fresh out.
What if I made a go at really growing my business? Outside of just the firewood and tree removal?
He hopped out of his truck, container of leftovers forgotten on the seat.
His mind raced as he strode toward the woodpile.
Why limit himself? He had skills most people in Northgold didn’t.
He’d never offered his renovation services to the public.
A few people had complimented him on the work he’d done for Ellie, and he was happy with the stairs he’d finally repaired for Rich.
Custom furniture. Shelving. Decks. Maybe even– what were they called? She-sheds? He could definitely manage something for the locals’ snowmobiles.
Julian loped inside and grabbed his new work gloves from the hook by the door and slipped them on, ignoring the twinge in his healing hand. He could diversify, create something that dwarfed his father’s crime.
He picked up his ax and started hacking at the middle of a long trunk.
Yes, when everyone heard the name Lincoln, they’d think of beautiful rustic furniture and sturdy entertainment spaces.
Clive Lincoln would be but nothing more than a pathetic footnote.