Chapter 55 Those Three Words
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Those Three Words
IRINA
Iinhaled mid slurp, coughing wildly. Henry leapt to his feet, sitting me up, patting and rubbing my back until I managed to suck in a proper breath.
“You did not just say what I think you said,” I blathered, setting down my water on the little wheelie table that hovered over my legs.
Henry climbed onto the bed, taking my face in his hands. “I have never been more serious in my life, Ri. You were concussed, drifting in and out of consciousness when we got here. It’s routine procedure to do a pregnancy test when a woman presents with any form of trauma.”
“But … I am—I was—on birth control …” My stomach churned, and I swallowed back the nausea. O Doamne, was this morning sickness? No, it couldn’t be. I’d had a head injury; they made people feel sick!
But I had been queasy for days before the concussion. And hadn’t I noticed I’d been so much more emotional lately? Pregnant people’s emotions went crazy, didn’t they?
“It’s rare, but IUD’s can fail,” Henry explained.
“And given what you just said about how you got it in the first place, it’s no wonder.
” He pulled in a deep breath. “They removed it because there are risks, to you, and … the baby, but none of this means you have to … we don’t have to keep it. You have options, Catnip.”
I swallowed again, this time around a lump in my throat. My head was swimming.
“There’s a baby growing inside me?” I asked, my voice a tiny squeak. “Like, you’re not joking. I’m baking a tiny human … right now?”
Henry’s expression softened. “You are.”
“Wow.” My vision blurred, and I closed my eyes. “This is …”
“It’s unexpected,” Henry finished, fingers grazing my cheek. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, and I was there when they came in with the test results.”
“I’m scared,” I admitted quietly, finding Henry’s hand and winding our fingers together.
“I didn’t see my mother for the whole of her pregnancy with Andrei, but I was there, in the room when my mother had just given birth.
There was so much blood! And she just … slipped away, while my uncle watched. ”
Henry’s lips brushed my forehead, warm and comforting. “I would never let that happen to you. But you don’t have to go through with the pregnancy. If you don’t want this, just say the word. I’m with you no matter what you decide.”
“Thank you. But I don’t know if I’m ready to decide yet.”
Henry slid down the bed, cradling me in his arms. “We’re in this together, Catnip. One way or another.”
I spent the next day eating small meals, which I managed to keep down, although there was a constant roll of nausea. A doctor visited to run me through some balance and cognitive tests. He seemed confident that there was no lasting damage from my ‘hiking accident’.
“And congratulations are in order, I hear,” he boomed, pounding Henry on the back. Henry flinched, and I bit back a giggle at the sheer strangeness of all of this. “What a way to find out you’re going to be parents, eh? That’s a story to tell the grandkids one day.”
He headed for the door, stopping to tell me he could prescribe me some anti-nausea medication for the morning sickness before bustling off once more.
I was pregnant. Even thinking it felt like an out of body experience.
But suddenly I was imagining growing old with Henry, jostling cheeky toddler grandchildren on our knees and telling them all about how we found out we were having their mummy or daddy.
It seemed like such a nice future to look forward to.
A future that was filled with hope and joy.
And cats too. Although I doubted Trink and Abs would last long enough to see grandkids.
I shot upright. “Abernathy! Henry, he escaped! I was out looking for him when—”
Henry was on the bed in an instant, wrapping his arms around me. “Abernathy is fine, although apparently very miffed that his mummy isn’t around. Josie locked him and Parker up in the crew quarters so she could lure you off the yacht.”
His hand swept my hair away from my neck, fingers curling around my nape. “I’m so sorry I didn’t reassure you earlier. I’d honestly forgotten, with everything else that’s been going on.”
More tears welled. “Just thinking about poor Abs trying to survive on an island covered in overgrown tropical rainforest …”
Henry snorted. “The mollycoddled beast wouldn’t have known what hit him. Trink, on the other hand … she’d turn feral and be hunting giant moths before sundown.”
“It’s funny how their personalities are the exact opposite of their namesakes.”
“If only we could tell what a kitten would grow up to be when we name them,” Henry sighed, combing his fingers through my hair.
I nuzzled into his chest. “What would you want to call the tiny human … if we decided to keep them?”
Henry stilled. “Don’t you think we should wait until you know whether you want to proceed before we start picking names?”
“It’s hypothetical, Henry. I’m just curious.”
“I don’t know. Definitely not characters from The Hunger Games.”
“Why not? Seneca could work for a boy or a girl!” I teased.
Henry shuddered. “No child of mine will be named after a villain, Catnip. And … this child would be ours, not just mine. We’d need to think of a name that is meaningful for both of us.”
Tears sprung to my eyes as immediately two names came to mind.
“I think these pregnancy hormones are going to really shit me! I haven’t cried this much in my entire life!
But what about … Andrei, if it’s a boy? And maybe Andrea, if it’s a girl, and—” I laughed wetly— “Céline for the middle name, either way.”
“You want to subject our child to the teasing I experienced growing up?”
“Of course not! I want our child to know that he … or she … should be proud to share a name with their brilliant, kind, adorable father.”
“Well …” Henry cleared his throat. “When you put it that way.”
My stomach dipped, certainty settling over me.
“And, they’re sure that the tiny human is okay? Me being bashed over the head, tied up and passing out didn’t …?”
“The heartbeat was very strong, and your vitals were always good, even when unconscious. They think the fainting fits were a pregnancy symptom.”
My eyes welled up again at the thought of Henry, sitting there, listening to our baby’s heartbeat.
“We’re keeping it.” My heart thrummed wildly, and I wondered for a moment whether I should think about this a bit longer. But one look at my sweet, perturbed man, brow furrowed adorably, watching me carefully, and I was sure.
I wanted to have his baby. I wanted baby Andrei or Andrea Céline Baxter.
“Ri … you can take more time to think about this. You’ve just been through something very traumatic, and you haven’t had a chance to process—”
“Why not add having a baby to my bingo card this year?” I gave a half-shrug, taking his hand and holding it in both of mine. “I’ve already ticked off marrying you and … and falling in love with you.” I glanced up at him from under my lashes.
Henry’s lips parted, pink staining his cheeks. I trailed my fingertips over the colour. “I love making you blush.”
His smile pressed his cheek into my palm. “And … you love me?”
“I love you, Henry.” The words—the truth—felt so easy to say. Henry’s eyes sparkled.
“Say it again.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Why? Are you going deaf?”
He chuckled, leaning closer, brushing my nose with his. “No. I just want to savour it.”
I pressed closer, closing the last tiny gap between our mouths. “I love you,” I whispered against his lips.
Henry moaned, brushing his mouth against mine, but not deepening our kiss. His hands clutched my face, holding onto me like I was something precious, something that needed to be protected.
No one could ever care for me the way he did.
“You are everything I never realised I needed, Catnip …” His words ghosted against my cheek as his lips moved towards my ear. “And everything I always wanted but never thought I’d be lucky enough to find.”
My eyes filled … again … and through a thick throat, I giggled, “Well, way to run up me on the love declaration.”
“Run up you?” Henry’s confused face was one of my most favourite things in the world. Understanding slowly dawned on his features. “I think you mean ‘one-up you’.”
I sighed. “Lucky I’ll have you to politely correct me on English phrasing for the rest of my life, isn’t it?”
“Lucky for both of us.” His forehead met mine.
“And I don’t think I did … one-up you, I mean.
Hearing you say those three words … no flowery prose could beat it.
I just … I often worry I won’t say the right thing when it comes to emotions.
But with you, I feel like I could write a whole book on how much I love you. ”
“Well, I would read it. Or even better, I’d let you read it to me.” I trailed a line of kisses over his jaw. “So … we’re having a baby …”
He leaned back with a sigh. “I think you should give it a few days to sink in before you decide. It’s … life changing, Catnip.”
But his hand strayed down my body, resting on my abdomen, filling me with heat … the sort that warmed me from the inside until I felt like I was glowing enough to light an entire Sydney suburb.
“How do you feel about all of this?” I asked. “Do you want a baby with me? We should decide this together.”
“It’s just so … soon. And it’s not like we’ve had a traditional sort of relationship.” He ran a hand through those glossy black curls. “And … what if they turn out like me?”
My chest ached for this beautiful man who somehow saw himself as less when he was so much more.
“So, I guess they’d be intelligent, sweet, caring and selfless … and hot as fuck.”
Henry choked on a laugh. “I’m not sure it’s appropriate to describe a baby as ‘hot as fuck’, Ri.”
“Eww, I meant when they grow up, of course. Hubby, there is not one thing about you that wouldn’t fill me with joy if you passed it on to our child. And if that’s the only reason you’re on the fence about this …”
“Catnip …” Something in his tone had a grin tilting my lips up.
“Hubby …”
“If this is truly what you want … then I would love to have a baby with you.”