Chapter 56 It’s Mutual
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
It’s Mutual
HENRY
Iglanced across the hospital room at a slumbering Ri, only half listening to Lucian on the other end of the phone. Moonlight spilled through the pitiful excuse for blinds, casting a silvery sheen over her skin.
She’d been so focused on the positives since she woke, but I kept waiting for the penny to drop, for her to break down.
She had yet to process everything that had happened to her.
Abduction, assault, being held at gunpoint, thinking, however briefly, that she was going to be dragged back to Romania by that brute, C?lin.
Finding out she was pregnant.
She was a master at compartmentalising, my wife. But eventually she would need to let it all out, to work through it. To grieve her past, to process her trauma. And I would be there for her, through all of it.
My wife. My pregnant wife, who loved me.
“Bax? Are you listening?”
I blinked, turning away from Ri to peer out the window at the much less aesthetic view of the carpark.
“Sorry. My mind was elsewhere.”
Lucian snorted. “Three guesses where, and I’ll forfeit the first two. But this is important, Bax. Atlas’s resignation is public news now. He’s not happy about it, but with some … encouragement … he’s seen the value of keeping a low profile for a few months and keeping his mouth shut.”
It was my turn to snort. “Anything he tries to leak to the media about my involvement in the SynAPPsee crash will only open doors to his own actions in the lead-up. His reputation is too important to him to have the truth spilled across TechRaker.” I had to hope this was true.
Ri’s traumatic experience becoming media fodder was unthinkable.
“He wants a face to face with you. To ‘clear the air’.” Lucian’s tone made no pretence of how he felt about that.
This was the man who held a gun to Ri’s head—to mine—and acted like it was just another day in the office.
“He has no right to ask anything of me,” I snarled, then pressed my lips tight when Ri stirred. When she settled back into sleep, I lowered my voice and continued. “You can tell him that if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll stay as far from me, and from Ri, as humanly possible.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. I’ll manage him. You’ve got enough on your plate with Ri … how is she, by the way?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. She’s been so cheerful since she woke, but I don’t think she’s let it sink in.” I hadn’t told Lucian about the pregnancy, and I wouldn’t until she was ready for other people to know.
“She’s a tough woman, Bax. I know I haven’t been all that welcoming of her, but she might surprise you with her resilience.”
I nodded. She’d survived her traumatic childhood through sheer force of will. Maybe her abduction felt like another thing she had to endure. I hated that she’d conditioned herself to survive these experiences, but at the same time felt a surge of hope that she would get through this.
“You might be right,” I conceded. “But I’ll still worry.”
“Because you love her.” His words were soft, like he wasn’t sure I was ready to hear them.
“Because I love her,” I agreed.
“And Ri?” he pressed.
“It’s mutual.” It felt like saying more would somehow trivialise the moment we’d had earlier. “What’s happening with Josie?”
If Lucian guessed I was changing the subject, he didn’t let on. “Claims she was threatened by Atlas to assist with the abduction, but I’m not buying it. I think money changed hands, and I think it was from C?lin.”
“Agreed. She’s not welcome back on the Girl on Fire.”
Lucian grunted. “I say we drop her on the mainland with some cash and let her start over. I don’t think she’ll cause problems now that the real threats are neutralised. She was just a pawn in a game of bigger players.”
“I think that’s the best plan. As long as she knows she’s not to—” The beep of a waiting call interrupted. I glanced at the screen. Unknown number.
Those two words would forever fill me with dread. Farewelling Lucian with a promise we would talk more in the morning, I answered the other call.
“Hello?”
“Oh my God, Henry!” Cadence’s voice was shrill. “You’re okay!”
The urge to hang up almost overtook me, but her words gave me pause. “Did you have cause to believe I wouldn’t be?” Suspicion flitted in my stomach.
“I’ve been trying to get in touch for so long! I read that Atlas resigned, and I’d had a feeling he was planning something. I …” She broke off with a ragged sob.
“I’m so sorry, Henry. I was jealous, and it was stupid and childish, but when Rumi told me about Irina’s family, about how she was supposed to go home to them and how Rumi had contacted them … I might have mentioned it to Atlas.”
I sucked in a deep breath, nostrils flaring, fingers clawing at my knee. “You put Atlas in touch with Irina’s family. The people I promised to keep her safe from. Did you know what he planned to do with that information?”
Cadence made a pitiful gurgling sound. “I didn’t know the details, but what I did know made me feel sick. I’ve been trying to get in touch to warn you, but … well, I guess I only have myself to blame that you refused to take my calls.”
My stomach dropped. “Well, both Ri and I are safe and well. And Atlas will not be hurting us—nor will Ri’s family.”
“You love her.”
I didn’t respond—I didn’t owe Cadence this part of me.
“I know you won’t believe me, Hen … but that makes me happy. You deserve to have love in your life. I hope Irina is capable of giving it where I wasn’t.”
“Thank you,” I muttered stiffly. “I’m going to go now, Cadence.”
“Bye, Henry.”
I hung up, exhaling shakily. My phone fell to the floor with a clatter when I pressed my hands between my knees to stop them trembling. The room swam, the air felt too thick to breathe. I dropped my head to my knees, dizziness overwhelming me.
All those calls I’d declined before we left Sydney. Cadence had been trying to warn me, and I’d refused to speak to her. I could have prevented all of this if I’d just swallowed my pride.
Everything that had happened in the last few days came crashing down on me, a vice slowly clamping around my ringing ears.
This was the meltdown I’d been holding at bay, the overwhelm that I’d pushed aside with adrenaline.
I’d thought that perhaps I’d managed to avoid it, but it had just been waiting for something to trigger it. Cadence was that trigger.
Frantic breaths whistled in and out of me, but my scrambled brain couldn’t work out how to slow my breathing, to let more air into my spasming lungs. My heart pulsed in my chest, my throat, my temple, like nails being driven directly into my body.
Two hands found my shoulders and squeezed.
“I’m here, Hubby. Let’s breathe together, okay?” Her voice was soft, reassuring. It felt like home. Her chest pressed against my back, her rhythmic inhale and exhale beside my ear a soothing song.
Slowly, the panic attack ebbed, leaving me limp, wrung out, quiet. Like the city after a storm. Washed clean but with the memory of chaos still fresh and raw.
“This bed is big enough for two,” she whispered against my face, helping me to stand, leading me back to the bed. We climbed in together—it was a tight squeeze, but she fitted her body against mine, two joining puzzle pieces, and we made it work.
“I’m sorry. I suppose you heard that conversation.” I pressed my nose to her hair and inhaled. Under the burning tang of antiseptic was her faint summery scent, grounding me.
“Only your half of it. Why are you apologising?” Her nose found its favourite spot in the dip of my clavicle.
“I made a mistake … you could have died.”
She squeezed me tighter to her. “Evil people chose to do fucked up things, Henry. You aren’t responsible for the actions of those assholes. Besides, I’m pretty sure you and your big problem-solving brain saved both our lives.”
“You’re the one who just went through hell; I should be helping you. Instead, you’re the one having to fix me.”
“We’ll fix each other,” she mumbled against my skin. “That’s what couples do. But not tonight. Tonight, we sleep.”
It was surprising how quickly I drifted off, with her safe in my arms.
“How are you feeling?” the nurse discharging Ri asked.
Ri nodded, fingers going to the back of her head, which was still a little bruised. “I’m doing better than I expected.” She looked up at me with that secret smile. The one that said, ‘we’re having a baby’.
I smiled back, nerves fluttering at the thought.
Earlier that morning, we’d gone for a final ultrasound to ensure the baby was in fact healthy after Ri’s ‘hiking accident’.
When she’d heard that tiny, fluttering heartbeat, her whole face had lit up, and I’d finally been able to convince myself that she really meant it when she said she wanted this.
I still had a whole catalogue of worries.
I had no idea how to be a father. But if the last few months had taught me anything, it was that, with her by my side, I could face any challenge.
And that I’d do whatever it took to make the rest of her life safe and full of joy …
and a dozen kids, if that was what she wanted.
I pressed my palms against her belly tenderly. The urge to touch her was overwhelming. My pregnant wife. And our tiny human, growing inside her.
“Hey,” Ri said, humour and concern mixing in her tone. She brushed a tear from my cheek. “Are you having a synthetic pregnancy?”
“A … what?”
“You know, when the partner starts having pregnancy symptoms too?”
I grinned. “Oh, a sympathetic pregnancy … no, I’m just happy.”
Ri’s eyes sparkled as she beamed back at me. “Well, that’s lucky, since you’re kind of stuck with me forever. Me and the tiny human.”
I wrapped her up in my arms, loving the way she moulded herself against me. “I’ve never felt less stuck in my life. And forever with you is the only suitable outcome.”
“And now you’re making me cry!” she whimpered, wiping her tears on my T-shirt. “I’m going to be a sobbing mess this entire pregnancy, I can just tell.”
“Well, we’d better get you home so you can sob in comfort.”
“I’m already home, Hubby,” she murmured, nuzzling her nose into the skin above the V-neck of my T-shirt. “Home for me is wherever you are.”