Chapter 40 Charlie
charlie
“I would have let you come with me on my vacation,” Jennie said from the other end of the line.
“Or you totally could have crashed our family camping trip,” Sara added.
Jennie had called me as I was driving to my brother’s from the airport, and when I filled her in on what had happened, she insisted we add the other girls to the call.
I was in the back of a car Jacob had sent for me. I insisted I could Uber because I knew he was working, and I sprung this on him last minute, but I was appreciative of the car.
“How are you doing?” Maura asked. “Really doing?”
I shrugged, though I knew they couldn’t see me. “Not great,” I admitted.
“Can we help you?” Sara asked.
“No. I think I just need to stay here with my brother. Christmas is in a few days, so it’ll be best if I just hang out here.”
“Are you going to see your mom?” Jennie asked.
The girls knew my relationship with her was strained, but that was all they understood. I never bothered to expand because it was, well . . . complicated.
“I probably will have to, but I really don’t want to.”
“Can I throw in my unsolicited two cents?” Maura asked.
“Go ahead.”
“I don’t think he meant any harm. He was probably just as blindsided by the situation as you were.”
“Maybe, but he should’ve told his wife the moment he found out. She’s his wife. Going out to breakfast with his ex the next morning before talking to her only made it worse,” Jennie said.
And that was exactly why I was so upset with him.
It wasn’t just about breakfast—it was the pattern.
Someone else was always first, while I was left as the runner-up.
I wanted to have this moment together for the first time—having a baby together—but then it was ripped from my hands, and he didn’t bother to talk with me first.
“I want him to be a dad. I think he deserves that, but I feel like I have a right to be upset with him too. I feel like I should’ve been clued in to it.”
“You should,” Sara agreed. “You’re right.”
I leaned back, watching the city skyline fade into smaller towns as we approached Jacob’s apartament. “I’m here, so I gotta run, guys.”
“Call us later?” Jennie asked.
“We’re here for you,” Sara added.
“Thanks, guys. I don’t know what I did to deserve you all.”
“Well, you do supply us with the best gossip, so . . .”
Laughter burst from the other end, a fit of giggles brightening the goodbye before we hung up.
The town was the kind of medium-small Georgia place that felt like a step back in time.
Brick buildings and family-owned shops lined wide main streets.
The heart of downtown was small but bustling, with a town square featuring a gazebo where kids chased each other around while their parents chatted nearby.
It was charming and picturesque, but what set it apart was the lone high-rise at the edge of the square—an unexpected, modern structure that towered over the otherwise modest skyline.
That’s where Jacob lived, of course, in the penthouse at the very top.
I pulled up to the building, grabbed my bags, and headed inside. The lobby was sleek and polished, and the doorman gave me a nod as I passed. My phone buzzed in my hand as I waited for the elevator.
Austin: I miss you. I’ve been thinking about you.
I stared at the message for a moment before slipping my phone back into my pocket, trying not to let it sink in too deep. The elevator doors opened, and I stepped inside. By the time I reached Jacob’s floor, I’d convinced myself to let it go—for the moment.
The door swung open before I could knock, Jacob’s voice carrying out into the hallway.
He stood barefoot in the middle of the living room, phone pressed to his ear, a glass of something half-finished on the counter behind him.
“Hey, sis,” he shouted, grinning as if nothing in the world had changed. “So glad you came to see me.”
I stepped inside, the sleek marble floors and familiar scent of his cologne washing over me. “Hey,” I whispered, because if I said anything else, I was going to collapse into tears.
“I just gotta finish this call for work,” he said, pacing toward the window that looked out over the skyline. “Make yourself at home. The guest room is ready for you . . . and your husband?”
He was fishing.
I shook my head. “Just me.”
Jacob nodded a couple of times before excusing himself to his office. I turned and made my way down the hall toward the guest room. I’d stayed here plenty of times before, usually after Mom had driven me crazy enough to escape the ranch.
The room was cozy enough, with a queen-sized bed in the corner, modern furniture, and a decent view of downtown. I set my suitcase down and sank onto the bed, completely drained.
I’d barely closed my eyes when my phone buzzed.
I picked it up and saw Austin’s familiar name flashing on the screen.
I stared at the screen, my thumb hovering over the answer button.
I needed this break, this time to breathe and clear my head.
What if something was wrong? That tiny seed of doubt rooted itself in my chest, growing with every second I hesitated.
I sighed, knowing I wouldn’t find peace until I knew. After swiping to answer, I lifted the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
There was an awkward pause, long enough that I wondered if he’d butt-dialed me.
“Hey,” he said softly.
“Are . . . are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah . . . Are you?”
I looked outside before I closed my eyes. “Yeah. I just got to my brother’s apartment.”
“Good. I was calling to make sure you were okay.”
“Well . . . I am.”
I shouldn’t be this much of a dick to him, but I didn’t know what else to say, and he was clearly skirting around why he actually called. I was exhausted and not interested in playing this game.
“I talked to Dirks, then Ledger and my mom today. I think I realized where I fucked up.”
“Mhmm,” I murmured, pulling the small blanket from the end of the bed over me.
“I should’ve told you from the start about all of it. I was just scared.”
“I—”
“That isn’t an excuse, Char,” he cut in gently. “I just wanted you to know why.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Thank you for telling me.”
“And, Charlie?”
“Yeah?”
The raw desperation in his voice made my heart twist painfully, threatening to shatter into a million tiny pieces.
“You aren’t a runner-up. You’re never in second place, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were. You mean more to me than anything, and I want you there with me for this journey. I couldn’t—can’t—imagine doing it without you.”
His words felt sincere, but I wasn’t sure how to feel. Part of me wanted to believe him, to cling to the hope that I wasn’t just the backup plan in his life. But another part, hardened by years of feeling second best to everyone who claimed they loved me, hesitated.
“Thank you for saying that,” I whispered, my voice barely holding together beneath the weight of emotions pressing against my chest.
I wanted to sound strong, assured, but the battle between hope and doubt was unraveling me from the inside out.
There was a pause so heavy it felt like the air itself had stilled.
“I’m going to meet Scarlette tomorrow,” he finally said.
“That’s good,” I managed, and I meant it. I truly did.
“Are you going to be home for the holiday?” he asked.
“No.” I cleared my throat. “I’ll be here with my brother, then I’ll come back when I’m ready.”
“But . . . you’ll be back?”
“Yes.” I let out a breathy sigh. “I have a job I have to go back to. I just . . . need a break.”
“Okay, Char.”
“I gotta go.”
“I-I miss you,” he whispered so softly that I thought maybe I’d imagined it.
I sighed again. It wasn’t that I didn’t miss him; I just wasn’t ready to say it back.
“Talk to you soon.”
I hung up and closed my eyes, not ready to face any of this. I knew Austin cared. I knew none of this was his fault. I knew I was being immature by running away from the situation, but I still felt like I was in second place.