Chapter 41 - Charlie
charlie
I was rushing to get dressed after oversleeping from what was supposed to be a quick nap. I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a lightweight sweater, thankful the chill wasn’t as biting as it had been in Chicago.
“Charlie?”
There was a knock at the door, and I went over to answer it.
My brother stood on the other side, much more casual than when I saw him earlier. “Sorry, I had to work late. I made some pasta and wanted to see if you wanted to eat?”
My stomach growled. “Oh, yes. Please.”
I smiled and followed him down the hall to where he’d already set two plates at the small glass table by the window.
“Thank you.” I pulled out a chair as he poured us two glasses of my favorite red.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re here early, or am I going to have to wait until you finally decide to share?”
I stuffed a forkful of noodles and sauce into my mouth, hoping to dodge the question, but he only sipped from his glass, unbothered.
The resemblance between us was uncanny, though the Jacob sitting across from me was far more laid-back than the polished version most people knew.
He’d never be caught in public wearing anything but a suit.
“Really, Charlie? Shoving food in your face? I thought we left that trick behind when we were kids.”
I laughed, shrugging. “It worked then, figured it might still work now.”
Jacob shook his head, unimpressed. “Seriously. What’s going on? Is it about that new husband of yours?”
I sighed and set my fork down. “I know I’ve been a crap sister lately, but ever since I told Mom, I’ve felt so isolated. Like I’m cut off from the only family I have left.”
“I never cut you off. You know how hectic it is on the farm during the fall, so I was managing everything . . . It’s my fault for not checking in with you.”
“I didn’t want to burden you with this,” I said softly, my eyes dropping to the table. My voice wavered as I continued. “And I didn’t want you to judge me. Something happened and . . . I just need you.”
The admission tasted bitter, and I hated how much I meant it. I needed my brother—someone who’d tell me what to do, someone who’d give me a hug, the kind of hug I knew I’d never get from Mom. I needed it from him.
“Tell me,” Jacob said gently, reaching across the table to rest his hand on my forearm.
“I don’t want you to freak out or start judging me,” I said, barely above a whisper, unsure if I could even handle what might come next.
Jacob shook his head, his expression steady. “I’ve never been like that. Mom, maybe—but not me. I’m here for you.”
I took a deep breath and finally started talking.
The words came out in a rush, tumbling over each other as I told Jacob everything—about Austin, the surprise baby with his ex-wife, and the truth about why we got married in the first place.
I laid it all out, every messy detail, while he sat quietly, listening.
When I was done, the silence hung heavy between us. I avoided his gaze, afraid of what I’d see there. It felt like ripping open a wound that was still bleeding. I’d told him, and there was no taking it back.
“Wow,” Jacob said as he grabbed his wine and downed it. “Wow.”
“I know.” I swallowed audibly. “It’s a lot.”
He nodded a few times and stood from his chair. “Why are you here, Char?”
“What do you mean?” I pushed out of my chair and met him by the window. “I’m here because this is a lot.”
“Do you love him? Do you want to stay married to him?”
Jacob wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close as we both stared out into the darkness stretching across the city.
“I love him so much it hurts,” I whispered, the words slipping out without hesitation.
I loved Austin with everything I had. I loved his flaws, his imperfections—
“But what?” Jacob asked softly.
I shook my head and stepped out of his hold, crossing the room to sink into the couch to our right.
The layout of his apartment made it impossible to escape completely—everything was essentially one large, open space.
Still, the distance gave me a moment to gather myself, to breathe through the ache building in my chest.
“Am I selfish for wanting to be his first at something? I feel like it’s been taken from me.”
“Do you think he loves you?” Jacob asked, and he settled on the couch next to me.
“Yes. I know he does.”
I knew Austin loved me because of the ways he showed me every day.
He picked me up from school with Evie. I knew he loved me when he came with me on Sunday mornings to the market in the fall.
I knew he loved me when he got me a hot dog with ketchup and no mustard when we went to the hockey games to watch Dirks play.
I knew Austin Hart loved me because every single day, he tried to make it easier for me to live.
“Then why are you upset? You should be with him.”
“You don’t even like him. Why are you siding with him?” I playfully slapped my brother, but he grabbed my hand when it made contact.
“Stop joking. I’m being serious, Charlotte.”
I stiffened. He only called me by my formal name when he was trying to prove a point.
“I don’t get it. You’re my brother. You’re supposed to side with me. I thought you’d freak out because you found out we got fake married for benefits—”
“Ha.” Jacob let go of me. “You think I didn’t already know that, Charlie?
Of course I did. I may not know all the details, but I know you.
You don’t just up and marry someone without a reason.
” He turned to face me, smirking. “The timing alone told me there was more to the story. But I knew better than to push until you were ready to tell me.”
I blinked, caught off guard. “You knew? And you didn’t say anything?”
“Why would I? I trust you to handle your life, Charlie. Besides, I’m your brother, not Mom. My job isn’t to judge—it’s to make sure you’re okay.”
I folded my arms, feeling both relieved and mildly annoyed. “So you’re not mad at me for keeping it from you?”
“Mad? No. Annoyed you didn’t tell me sooner? Sure,” he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “But more than anything, I’m just trying to figure out why you thought I’d freak out. You’re married to someone you clearly love, fake or not. I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem,” I said, my voice rising slightly, “is that it’s a mess. Austin’s life is complicated, and now so is mine. And I dragged you into this by spilling it all.”
He studied me for a moment. “You know, bringing a child into the world is terrifying. It’s a huge responsibility, and it changes everything.
But from what you’ve told me, Austin’s trying to do the right thing, and he probably needs support now more than ever.
You willfully supported him enough to marry him—what’s stopping you from supporting him now? ”
“Because I’m scared. Scared of what this means for us. Scared that no matter how much I love him, this changes everything.” I hesitated, my throat tightening. “And . . . maybe a little jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“Of his ex. I know she’s engaged to someone else, but now, with the child, I can’t shake this feeling that they could end up being this big, happy family without me. Like there’s a bond between them I’ll never be a part of, no matter how much he says he loves me.”
My brother furrowed his brows. “Charlie, that kind of bond doesn’t erase what you have with him.
Love isn’t some limited thing that gets used up on one person or situation.
If Austin loves you—and it sounds like he does—it doesn’t mean less just because he’s a dad now.
Families don’t have to look a certain way to be happy.
If you keep holding onto this jealousy, you’re going to make it impossible to see where you actually fit in all of this. ”
I swallowed hard, another fear unearthed. “What if I don’t fit at all?”
Jacob’s gaze didn’t waver. “Charlie, life’s messy.
Love’s even messier. If you want a life that matters, you don’t get to back away just because it’s complicated.
You don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to have all the answers, but you do have to show up.
For him, for the child, and especially for yourself.
That’s what real love is—showing up, even when it’s hard. ”
Show up.
The one thing I hadn’t done. Instead, I’d run.
I hadn’t just physically left Austin—I’d emotionally shut down too, pulling away the second things got messy.
I told myself I needed space, time to think, but the truth was, I was scared.
Scared of the child, of his ex, of the life I hadn’t signed up for but found myself tangled in. Scared of being second best again.
Running had been easier than showing up, easier than facing the fear that maybe I wasn’t enough for this new version of Austin’s life.
But as Jacob’s words echoed in my mind, I couldn’t ignore the truth anymore.
Avoiding it wasn’t solving anything. It was only making the distance between us grow wider, harder to bridge.
Jacob was right. If I wanted a place in Austin’s life, I’d have to fight for it. Fight for us. Fight for me. But first, I’d have to stop running.
I blinked, breaking the heavy moment. “Why do you know all this stuff? You’re always working. Shouldn’t you be buried in spreadsheets or something?”
Jacob laughed. “I work because I want more than just a big paycheck, Charlie. I want a family one day—a real one. I don’t want to work for nothing. I want a wife, kids, the whole deal. I’m just telling you what I hope you’d tell me one day if I ever needed it.”
I playfully slapped his shoulder and laughed. “I promise I will. You’re stuck with me, remember?”
He grinned.
I yawned and stretched out in my seat. “I think I’m ready to call it a night,” I said, the exhaustion finally winning out.
Jacob nodded, his tone softening. “Get some rest, Charlie. Tomorrow’s a new day to figure it all out.”
I stood, the heaviness of everything we’d talked about settling deep in my chest, but for the first time in a while, it didn’t feel unbearable. As I walked toward the guest room, Jacob’s words played on a loop in my mind.
Show up.
I closed the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, taking in the dimly lit room.
The bed looked just as inviting as before, but this time, it wasn’t just exhaustion pulling me toward it—it was something else.
I’d been running long enough. Tomorrow, I’d figure out what showing up really meant.
Pulling the blanket over me, I sank into the mattress. The weight of the day slowly faded as I closed my eyes, letting uneasy resolve carry me into the night.