Chapter 42 - Austin
austin
After I parked in the parking lot, I texted Charlie. I hadn’t heard from her since our phone call.
Going to meet Scarlette. Maybe we can chat later today.
I sighed, closed the phone, and looked down at my hands. They weren’t shaking.
“Now or never,” I said.
I didn’t know how to put this feeling into words. A few years ago, I’d have already been high, screwing it all up before I even got the chance to see my daughter. That version of me wouldn’t have made it here—not even close.
I wasn’t that person anymore. I had to remind myself of that. I’d worked too hard, clawed my way back from too much to fall apart now. I was stronger, better. I’d earned this moment, and no matter how scared I was, I wasn’t going to let my past define me anymore.
I smiled when I saw Nova bundled in a black puffer jacket and looked down at a little girl in a matching jacket with bouncy curls and bright blue eyes like mine.
“Nova,” I said as I leaned in and gave her a side hug, then I immediately dropped to my haunches so I was eye level with Scarlette.
“Hi, Scarlette,” I said and reached out my hand. “I’m Austin.”
The sweet girl smiled. It was her mother’s wide, joyful smile. “Mommy said you’re the one who thought about the museum. Thank you for including us.”
My gaze shifted to Nova, and I gave her a quick, grateful nod before turning my attention to the little girl in front of me—my daughter. The word still felt surreal.
“Thank you for coming,” I said, my voice softer than I expected.
“Ollie told me about this place on the phone last night,” she said, pointing up at the sign with a spark of excitement. “He said it was going to be really fun, and I was lucky to meet you. You’re a famous hockey player.”
I couldn’t help but laugh as I stood, glancing at Nova, who offered a sweet shrug.
“That’s what Ollie told her,” she said, her voice light and amused.
“Should we go in then? I’m getting cold waiting out here.”
They both nodded, and Scarlette skipped ahead, her little feet pattering against the pavement as she led the way toward the main doors.
“She calls him Ollie?”
Nova glanced at me, her expression gentle.
I wouldn’t have been upset if she called him Dad. After all, he was the one who raised her all these years, the one who had been there for everything I’d missed. I guess I was just surprised.
“Yeah…”
She didn’t finish the thought, but she didn’t need to. I gave her a shoulder squeeze and blinked quickly to keep my tears from spilling over.
Inside the museum, the day felt surreal, like stepping into someone else’s life.
Scarlette darted from exhibit to exhibit, her excitement bubbling over as she explored, her laughter echoing through the brightly lit halls.
I found myself stopping often, just watching her.
The little girl I had only just met. The shock of it all was still fresh.
My daughter.
I checked my phone a few times, my heart tugging at Charlie’s absence. She was the missing piece to this strange new puzzle I was trying to figure out.
What surprised me even more was how I felt about Nova.
There was a time when I’d been consumed by my love for her, when every part of me had been wrapped up in the life we were building together.
Now, there was nothing there but admiration—for the daughter she had raised, for the life she had built, for the person she had become.
As Scarlette played, Nova and I caught up.
She told me about their life in London, how much they’d loved it there, but how they had moved back to be closer to Luna.
She mentioned Ollie working on his visa, hoping he’d be here soon, and I nodded, glad they had found a way to keep their family together.
She shared that she was now the social media manager for the Ravens, and I congratulated her, genuinely happy for her.
It had always been her dream job back when we were together, and seeing her so fulfilled now brought a surprising sense of peace.
Nova was happy, and I realized I was happy for her.
After a morning of exploring and laughter, we walked to the museum’s café for a snack before they had to leave. As Scarlette devoured her cookie at the table, Nova pulled me aside.
“I want to tell Scarlette,” she said softly, her words measured. “I’d like to bridge the conversation, if you’re okay with that.”
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. The gravity of what she was asking settled heavily in my chest. Then I nodded, pulling her into a hug.
It wasn’t a hug of old lovers or lingering feelings but one of true friendship—of shared pain, of new beginnings, and of the shame and sorrow I still carried for how things had ended between us.
“Thank you,” I choked out, my voice breaking as the words left me. It was all I could manage, but somehow, it felt like enough.
She shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you.” Her gaze shifted to Scarlette. “She’s my greatest joy. Thank you for helping raise her. Every penny that Ledger sent me, I used for her. I promise. You may not have been there physically, but thank you.”
I nodded, swallowing hard as I cleared my throat, the lump of emotion too thick to speak around. Without another word, we walked back to the table and sat down.
Nova’s voice was soft and careful as she leaned toward Scarlette. “You know how I’ve told you about how you had a dad, but he lived somewhere else for a long time?”
Scarlette froze mid-bite, her cookie slipping from her hand onto the table. She nodded slowly, her wide eyes flicking between us.
Nova opened her mouth to continue, but Scarlette cut her off. “Mom, I know he’s my dad.”
I glanced at Nova, and we both stared at each other, our mouths slightly open in shock.
Scarlette’s gaze shifted to her mom. “You told me my daddy was a hockey player, but he was sick and getting better.” Her voice was steady, but there was a hint of curiosity—and maybe hope—as she turned to me. “Are you better now?”
Her words hit me like a punch to the chest. My throat tightened, and I couldn’t breathe.
Are you better now?
The words echoed in my head, sharp and unrelenting.
Being better wasn’t just about staying sober, though that was where it started.
It meant no more drugs, no more nights lost in darkness I couldn’t claw my way out of.
It meant showing up, every single day, even when it felt impossible.
It meant building a life I could be proud of, one that wasn’t defined by my mistakes.
I thought about Charlie—my wife. We weren’t perfect, and we had plenty to figure out, but she made me want to keep fighting. To be happy. To be someone worthy of this second chance at life. I leaned forward, swallowing hard as I tried to find the right thing to say.
“Yeah,” I managed, my voice thick. “I’m better now.”
Scarlette studied me for a long moment, then nodded like it was the answer she needed.
Nova looked down at Scarlette, her expression soft but curious. “How did you know?”
She glanced at me and pointed to my eyes. “We have the same eyes,” she said matter-of-factly. Then, turning to Nova, she added, “We don’t. I may be a little kid, but I’m not stupid.” She tsked, grabbed her cookie, and took another bite, as if solving the mystery of her dad was no big deal.
Nova and I exchanged a look, stunned into silence for a moment. The sharp intelligence in her small face took me off guard.
“I don’t have to stop loving Ollie, do I?” Scarlette asked, her voice small but sure.
Without hesitation, I reached out and grabbed her tiny hand. “Never. Never,” I said firmly. “Ollie is so important in your life, and I can’t wait to meet him either.”
Scarlette studied me for a moment, then tilted her head. “So . . . you guys aren’t going to get married?”
I hesitated, glancing at Nova, who gave me a quick nod of reassurance. “No,” I said gently. “I’m already married.”
Scarlette’s face lit up with curiosity. “Can I meet her? Will she live with us?”
Nova chimed in gently. “We haven’t really talked about it yet, but now that we’re all in the same place, you might end up with two houses to live in.”
I nodded, looking at Scarlette and then Nova. “I’d love for you both to visit my house someday.” My chest tightened as I added, “And to meet Charlie—my wife. She’s the one who helped you with the winter song.”
Scarlette’s eyes widened as she turned to Nova, practically bouncing in her seat. “Can we, Mum? Can we please go?”
Nova smiled at her daughter, brushing a stray curl from her face. “When Ollie gets here, we’ll make a plan.”
Scarlette squealed with excitement, her joy filling the small space, but my thoughts drifted elsewhere.
I just hope Charlie will be back by then.
The ache of her absence felt heavier now, sharper. I wanted her to meet my daughter. I needed her beside me, as my partner in this new chapter of life.
Nova glanced at the clock, swallowing hard. “We need to get going.”
I nodded, standing as they gathered their things. I walked them outside, where I gave Scarlette a hug.
“Bye,” I said, my voice firm, but hopeful. “I’ll see you soon. Maybe before the holidays.”
Nova gave me a small, understanding smile as they left, Scarlette waving enthusiastically over her shoulder. I waved back before rushing to my car, my chest tightening with every step.
Once inside, I sat for a moment, my hands gripping the steering wheel. I could get on a flight to Atlanta right now, I thought, the urge to see Charlie clawing at me. Without hesitation, I grabbed my phone and texted the one person I knew could help.