Chapter 19
dirks
I clutched the grocery bag tighter as I walked toward the massive sprawl of a house tucked into Chicago’s North Shore. When Luna said she was living in a guesthouse, I hadn’t realized she meant Nova’s guesthouse, or that Nova was even back in the States.
Austin and I had always been close. I officiated his damn wedding.
I knew we’d all agreed not to talk about it—about him—but still . . . I wish Luna had told me they were here. I could’ve said something to Austin. Prepared him. Given him a heads-up that he had a daughter he didn’t even know existed.
I didn’t lose my temper often. Didn’t get in my head like this much either. This had me properly rattled.
The house was beautiful, dark cedar siding, warm stone accents, and big paneled windows that let the golden light spill onto the snow-dusted porch.
Through one of the windows, I could see into the kitchen—Nova stood at the island, laughing as she stirred something on the stove, her hair piled up in a messy bun.
Next to her sat a little girl, legs swinging from a barstool, coloring with deep concentration.
She had Austin’s curls, his mouth, his whole damn face stamped onto her tiny frame, and even if I hadn’t known the story, I would’ve known the truth just by looking at her. That was his daughter. No question.
I glanced back toward the smaller structure behind the trees, where Luna had said she was staying, but my feet didn’t move in that direction.
My jaw tightened, the grocery bag crinkling in my fist as I turned back toward the front steps of the house.
I didn’t plan it or weigh the pros and cons, I walked up to the door and rang the bell.
The door opened faster than I expected, and there she was, Nova Thatcher.
Her face dropped the second she saw me, the color draining just enough to tell me I wasn’t the person she thought would be standing on her porch.
“Dirks,” she said softly, almost like a question.
I gave a quiet nod, gripping the grocery bag tighter. “Can I come in?”
She hesitated for a breath before stepping back and opening the door wider.
Once inside, she nodded toward the back of the house. “That’s where Luna is. The guesthouse is just down the path.”
“I know,” I said, meeting her eyes. “I wanted to talk to you first.”
Her brows lifted slightly, her expression guarded, but curious, and she shut the door behind me. The silence stretched for a second before either of us spoke.
“Mum?” a little voice called, echoing down the hall before a girl came skidding into view, her accent crisp and undeniably British. “Is it Daddy Luna?”
I blinked, glancing at Nova with my brows drawn. “Daddy Luna?”
Nova gave me a sheepish smile. “That’s what she calls Luna. Since Luna is basically—”
“My other dad,” Scarlette cut in proudly, hands on her hips. “I have three of them now.”
I let out a laugh so loud I had to brace a hand on my stomach. I dropped to one knee to meet her eye level. Up close, it was dizzying. She had Austin’s eyes, his curls, his smirk as though someone hit copy and paste.
Nova watched me with a soft smile. “Like seeing someone familiar,” she said gently.
“I’m Dirks,” I said, holding out my hand.
The kid stared at me with total concentration, then wrinkled her nose. “Dicks is a weird name.”
Nova choked, one hand flying over her mouth. “No— Scarlette. His name is Dirks, sweetie. Dirks.”
She squinted. “Still weird.”
I turned my head to the side, trying not to lose it again. “Yeah, well. Fair enough.” I gave her hair a little ruffle. “I can see Luna’s influence all over you.”
Scarlette narrowed her eyes. “Who are you, anyway? My mum’s already engaged to my other dad, Ollie. So you can’t love her.”
I swallowed another laugh, trying to keep a straight face. “Noted. I’m actually here to see Luna.”
She tilted her head, studying me. “Daddy Luna used to date my Uncle Will, but they broke up, that’s why we came to America. Are you going to break up with her, too?”
“I sure hope not, kiddo.”
“Okay, Dicks,” she said, still mangling my name. “I’m going to finish coloring now. Bye!”
With that, she twirled and skipped down the hall to color in her room.
Nova covered her face. “I am so sorry. She’s in a brutal-honesty phase.”
“Don’t be. It’s hilarious how much she reminds me of Luna . . . same blunt streak with zero filter.”
Nova’s shoulders relaxed as she laughed. “Yeah, that tracks. Come sit down before she comes back with more questions about your love life.”
I followed her through the open living space toward the back, where the kitchen sprawled out in warm, inviting tones, gleaming countertops, soft lighting, and a cutting board half covered in chopped vegetables.
“Sit,” she said, gesturing to one of the barstools at the island. “I’m gonna keep making us dinner, if you don’t mind. Want something to drink?”
I shook my head. “No, thank you.”
She nodded and turned back to the stove, the gentle clatter of pans filling the space. For a moment, all I could hear was the faint sizzle of whatever she was cooking and the hum of the heater kicking on.
I cleared my throat. “To be honest . . . I don’t even know why I came in here. I guess— I guess I just needed to see it. All of it. For what it really is.”
Nova didn’t say anything right away. She stood there, hands braced on the counter for a moment before she sighed.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I called him. Austin. He was still in rehab—he’d extended his stay.”
I stayed quiet, giving her space.
“I’d already seen what addiction could do to someone. I’d lived through the worst of it with him. I-I couldn’t. I couldn’t risk Scarlette growing up around that. Around the chaos, the lies, the highs and crashes. She deserved more than that.”
“So you kept it from him.”
“Yeah. I stayed in London. Kept it quiet. Raised her with Luna and Ollie. I didn’t know what else to do.”
I let out a slow breath. “Now you’re back.”
“We came back because of Luna. She wanted to come home. I didn’t realize how much she’d lost herself over there—how much she was carrying for me.
She sacrificed years of her life to help me hold mine together.
It was my turn to show up for her.” She paused.
“And then . . . I saw Austin again. He looked good. Sober. Settled. Married even.”
I gave a short laugh. “I officiated their wedding.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Seriously? You never told Luna?”
“No. Never. She told me you didn’t want to talk about it. That it was your story to tell. I didn’t realize how deep that story went.”
“I was trying to keep my baby safe, Dirks. The last time I saw him, he threw a bottle at me. He was so drunk he was doing blow off some girl’s chest. It was a mess. I couldn’t bring a baby into that.”
“I get it. You did what you thought was right.”
“I tried,” she murmured, wiping her hands on a towel.
“But I think I still screwed up. I didn’t just cut him off—I cut everyone off from my best friend.
Including you. And Luna’s breakup with Will?
That gutted her. She’d been playing house with someone for years, someone she loved, but one day she realized she wasn’t even happy.
That she hadn’t been happy for a long time. ”
My throat tightened, hearing it out loud. “Now?”
“She’s finally breathing again. She’s figuring out what she wants. From where I’m standing . . . you’re part of that.”
I looked down at my hands, remembering the nights we’d shared, how easy it had felt in the quiet moments.
“I didn’t know you two were serious.”
“She makes it easy,” I said. “Being with her.”
Nova gave a small, knowing smile. “That’s Luna.
She’s soft in the places you don’t expect, and tough in the ones you need.
She’ll knock the wind out of you and then make you feel like you’ve finally landed somewhere safe.
” She exhaled shakily. “I fucked up as a friend. I got so caught up in everything with Austin and Scarlette and London, and now with Ollie being away . . . I stopped showing up for her. I didn’t ask how she was doing.
I didn’t make space for her. That’s why I’m here now.
I don’t want her to ever feel like she’s second in anyone’s life again—not mine, not Will’s, not Jeremy’s . . . not yours.”
Her words settled deep into the cavity of my chest.
“I don’t plan to let her feel that way either,” I said quietly.
Nova nodded, a small, solemn gesture that carried gratitude and forgiveness in equal parts.
She turned back to the cutting board without another word, and I stayed where I was, finally understanding how we all ended up here.
The guilt. The silence. The sacrifices that were made out of love—but still left bruises behind.
And the hope that maybe this time, we could get it right.
The back door slammed open. “Oh, hell no,” Luna said, eyes locked on me. “You really thought you could waltz into the main house and start shit without me getting a front-row seat?”
Nova didn’t look up from where she was cooking. “I texted her the second I saw your car pull into the driveway.”
Luna crossed her arms, cocking her hip. “I watched you walk in from the window, Dirks. Figured I’d let you rip her head off first before I let you try for mine.”
“Luna, I’m not here to rip anyone’s—”
She held up a finger. “It’s fine if you do. We can talk about it later.”
From the hallway, Scarlette padded in on socked feet, sipping from a juice box. “Luna, this is Dicks. I met him earlier. He said he’s not gonna break your heart.”
I choked on air.
Luna gasped and clutched her chest like she’d been shot. “Thank goodness. I’ve had enough heartbreak for one lifetime, Dicks.”
“Luna,” Nova muttered, dragging a hand down her face.
I was full-on laughing now, barely staying upright. “Y’all are going to kill me.”
Luna grinned and walked right up to me, sliding her arms around my waist like we hadn’t gone years without this. Her hoodie was soft against my hands, her yoga pants painted on in the way that made thoughts vanish entirely.
“C’mon,” she whispered, tugging me close. “Let’s go have a sleepover. You can tell me how much you missed me while I don’t let you sleep.”
Yeah. I was fucked. Again.