Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
OAKLEIGH
“Can people just… Oh, I don’t know … stop getting injured?” Antoine asks as we savor a rare quiet moment within this shit show of a shift.
“The world doesn’t love us enough to let us find out,” Nicole drawls as she spins around in her chair, her jet-black ponytail flowing with the light breeze her movements create.
I am listening, but I’m also halfway to drifting into my own daydream, one that I know will leave me broken all over again.
It’s been happening a lot—one minute, I’ll be able to get on with my life and pretend as if it isn’t falling apart and breaking into a million little pieces; the next I’ll be acknowledging my reality—that I’m here with no best friend, and no man to love.
When our shift finally ends, I get dressed and check my message thread with Wren.
Wren, please talk to me. I miss you.
You can’t ignore me forever because I still have your bottle of wine.
Okay, yes you can just go and buy another one, but this one will go to waste and you always say that’s a crime.
Wren, pleaseeeeeee.
I want my best friend back.
Pathetic. That’s what I am.
I exit the chat and instead reread my as yet unsent message to Finn.
I wish I knew what you know. Maybe then I would know what’s holding me back from you.
Pa-fucking-thetic.
I groan and rest my head against the locker.
“You okay?” Nicole asks as she gets changed opposite me.
“Yeah.”
She watches me out of the corner of her eye as I check my phone for the fifth time in the past thirty seconds. Antoine is the one to acknowledge the elephant in the room.
“This have anything to do with why you’re being such a sour-faced bitch?”
“I am not being a sour-faced bitch!”
“She said, bitchily,” he mumbles as he pulls on his top.
I let out a breath and turn to my friends. “I’m sorry if I have been. I’m just…”
“Struggling?” Nicole asks with a pitying smile.
My silence is answer enough.
“Is this about the guy who drove to the hospital just to spin you around?” Antoine asks.
“He didn’t come just to spin me around,” I say defensively, crossing my arms over my chest. “He came to tell me some important news.”
“He came because he wanted to touch you.” When Antoine sees the way both of us are looking at him, he clarifies. “Not like that! I just mean like when you’re so obsessed with someone that you just need to touch them in some way—a hug, a brush against the cheek, something.”
I don’t miss that Nicole looks flustered as she says, “I didn’t think that was your kind of thing.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t notice it or acknowledge it.” He puts his hands in his pockets, his gaze never leaving Nicole’s. “Besides, things change. People change.”
Okay, I feel like I’m looking in on a private conversation here.
“Do you guys want me to leave?” I ask, already inching toward the door.
Nicole jumps like she forgot I was here. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did. “No! No, I was just … asking a question.”
I see disappointment flash across Antoine’s face, and I wonder if the way he’s looking at Nicole is the way he’s always looked at her and I just missed it.
And then I wonder if the way Nicole is looking at Antoine is how my face looks when I look at Finn, because her expression feels familiar—longing, want … and confusion.
Antoine is the first to look away from her, and by the time his eyes reach me, they’re their usual cool, expressionless blue.
“Anyway, what happened between you guys?”
I sigh and give them a speedy rundown of what happened—the fake-dating, the real feelings and everything in between.
“Holy shit,” Antoine breathes out as he leans against his locker. “All of that has happened in the past month and we’ve heard nothing about it?”
“Work has been busy!”
“Excuses, excuses, Oakleigh. There were plenty of chances.”
“Oh, shut up.” I check my phone again.
“Do you have a plan?” Nicole asks.
“Nope, and right now I’m way too tired to think about one. I need to sleep and then I’ll sort it out.”
Nicole looks nervous. “You going to be okay?”
I flash her a fleeting smile and give her a hug. “I’ll be fine. Thank you so much for checking.”
She smiles and I say bye to both of them; I’m ready to get some sleep and let them discuss whatever it is that they need to talk about.
I feel bad that I took the time to explain things to them, knowing that Bash is most likely waiting for me outside. I’ve told him countless times that it’s not necessary for him to pick me up, but apparently when Finn transferred his self-appointed job, he also transferred his stubbornness.
I walk out the doors and my breath leaves me when, instead of a big red pick-up truck, I find a sleek, white Audi sedan. Finn’s white sedan.
“So, I heard some interesting news the other week.”
My body is at war with itself the moment it hears Finn’s deep voice behind me.
Part of me relaxes at the sound of his voice, another part tenses up.
One part wants to run, the other silently hopes that he’ll come and wrap his arms around my waist. In the end, all I can do is stay stock-still, waiting to see what Finn’s next move is.
He does walk up behind me like I hope, but his arms stay with him, making me feel cold without even touching me.
I can feel his chest brush against my back as he breathes.
My body vibrates with the knowledge that he’s close to me and my chest aches with how much I’ve been missing him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, breathless, my voice coming out as barely a whisper.
I feel him lean down, his mouth leaving only a fraction of space between his lips and my neck. I feel his breath fan the shell of my ear and I shiver so hard that he chuckles. Asshole.
“Would you like to know what I heard?” he asks, ignoring me completely.
“Yes,” I answer immediately, any ounce of willpower or stubbornness eradicated by my need to keep hearing his voice.
He places a kiss at my temple and the warmth of his lips travels down the side of my face.
“Then get in the car, Cherry.”
He walks around me to get to the car, opening the passenger-side door and waiting patiently.
A deep corner of my brain is telling me not to go, to simply get in my own car and drive home and pretend that this never happened.
But curiosity has not just killed this cat, it’s taken every single one of its nine lives, and so I don’t have a choice but to follow and sit quietly in the passenger seat until we reach my house.
Arriving home, I move like I’m on autopilot, my eyes stuck wide with surprise and my hand shaking from the anticipation. We walk into the dark, and if it weren’t for Finn turning on the lights, it really would have stayed that way. At least then Finn wouldn’t have seen the tomato I’ve become.
Ollie walks over to Finn, bypassing me entirely. He nudges Finn’s leg with his head, purring contentedly. Finn bends down to scratch behind my black cat’s ear.
“Hey, boy. I missed you, too.” Finn smiles down at Ollie like he’s looking down at his own son.
I can’t take anymore of this.
“What’s all this about, Finn?” I ask loudly, the words bursting from me.
It’s beginning to annoy me how calm he looks. He’s completely unfazed by this meeting, his breathing deep and even, his face undisturbed by a frown or downward tilt of his lips.
“Finn,” I press, impatience making me need to move around. I busy myself with fixing the throw on the couch, with filling a glass with water and then leaving it beside the sink.
“My parents told me why you’ve really had a problem with me all these years.”
I freeze in the middle of pouring a second glass of water for absolutely no reason, since I’m no longer thirsty. His thirteen-year-old taunt rings true in my mind as clearly as if it happened yesterday.
“You’re looking at all the wrong guys.”
“Who are you? Doctor Phil?”
“I’m just saying, you’re being impatient. You’re looking far and wide for something that’s right in front of you.”
“I’ll find someone eventually. Someone who isn’t an asshole like you.”
“Good luck. You’re not going to find anyone who treats you the way you treat a cherry pie. At least I hope not.”
“A very interesting reason,” he continues, and I can tell he sounds closer.
He takes the glass from my hand and drinks its contents before placing the empty glass beside the sink. He takes my hand and tugs gently. Again, out of pure curiosity, I follow. He leads me past the bathroom, past the laundry room and finally to my bedroom.
I halt my steps outside the door and attempt to tug my hand free, but Finn’s grip is strong.
He turns to see the apprehension all over my face.
Did I miss Finn? Of course. Have I missed the way he makes my body light up?
Hell, yeah. But that doesn’t mean that the moment I see him I’m ready to jump into bed with him without so much as a conversation.
Finn smiles warmly at me. “Don’t worry, Cherry. We’re just getting you ready for bed.”
“But you haven’t explained.”
“I will, but you’re also exhausted, and frankly speaking so am I.”
I’m still hesitant, but I trust Finn enough to know that if he says something, he means it.
I let him continue leading me into my bedroom, my sheets just as rumpled as I left them this morning.
Finn flicks on the light switch and points to the bed to let me know to sit down.
Before I can even agree or disagree, he’s heading to my closet and rifling through the drawers at the bottom.
Just as I perch myself on the edge of the bed, Finn finds what he’s looking for: a fresh set of plaid pajamas.
He places the clothes on the bed and nudges my knees apart with his so that he can stand between my legs.
The action is innocent coming from Finn but triggers some thoughts in my head that are not so innocent, such as that night when he decided to eat me out on the couch like I would be his last ever meal.
Finn must see the lust in my eyes. His eyebrow raises as he sends me a look. “Down girl, that’s not why I’m here.”
I turn into a tomato once more.