Yours, Finally

1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Vi ( Vee )

As a teen, the crush on my older brother's best friend was to be expected. Having those feelings stick for more than a decade was not.

There were nights when it was particularly difficult to deny my attraction to him. Tonight was one of them. Jake stood by my side in a bespoke tuxedo; he was too tall and big to get anything off the rack. His blond-red hair was styled to perfection, his beard trimmed and shaped and glorious, and his smile came easily. Dressing well was one of his things, whether at an elegant party or at the office, and I loved to admire the results every time.

I sighed and gazed around the party hall. The Construction Cares Fundraiser Gala was a favorite charity of my family's, and they attended every year. This time, the events room had been decorated with paintings from students of all ages, carefully showcased in tasteful, warm low light. The theme, The Art of Building Futures, promoted local artists and auctioned it to the rich people around us. I preferred to donate money directly and skip the party, but I hadn't been able to stay home for this one.

And now I had to contemplate the feelings I had for Jake, and how they rattled inside.

He laughed at something another of my brother's friends said, alongside everyone else. The expression on his face prickled in my chest. It wasn't easy to be next to him, me in my fancy dress and him looking so amazing. Treating each other as friends, and surrounded by Max and Javier, my brother Gabe, and my parents. Whatever story Max told was outrageous and hilarious, and on a normal evening I'd be held rapt by it, laughing with everyone else. There was something about the gala that night that shook the box I confined to the attic of my soul, where I held my longings and kept them away from sight.

Another sigh made it through my lips.

"Is everything okay?" Jake leaned closer to me. "You seem… off."

I pursed my lips and gazed all the way up to his blue-gray eyes. "Do you enjoy these galas?"

"Not really. I only come when Gabe bugs me extra hard about them."

"Same. I only attended because my mom really wanted me to."

I stared at her, and she smiled at me. I smiled back. She thought I could use a nice distraction; that it would help me get over the frustration my most recent break up had left me with. I adored my mom, and her heart had been in the right place, but coming to the gala had only achieved one thing. Adding a new layer to my disappointment.

My dad interlocked his fingers with hers and they walked away, likely to greet one of their friends.

I watched them stroll hand-in-hand, a twinge in my heart. A love like theirs… that was the dream.

"I promised Gabe I'd stay for an hour." Jake checked his watch. "I'm only ten minutes away from the goal."

I smiled at him. "Smart. I didn't negotiate it with anyone."

"You're welcome to copy me and negotiate it next time."

"We could even coordinate ahead of time. We'll wear them down easier if we're a team."

"Mmh, yes. It's a deal."

He gave my elbow a quick squeeze and smiled. The simple touch was enough to leave my skin tingling. It was always like that when Jake casually touched me. Even his gaze alone had the power to leave me a little breathless.

It had been like that since forever. As far as I knew, these sentiments were never reciprocated. Back when we were teens, Jake was huge; broad shouldered when all the other guys had still been lanky, and so tall that my height wasn't a problem. He barely paid attention to me and treated me the exact same way my brother did— like a cute little sister. He was kind, fun, gentle, and wholly uninterested.

So I moved on. I had boyfriends and he had girlfriends; Jake and I were friends, and life was good. Except we spent every summer together, and I saw him at every family event, and every family dinner. Whenever I slowed down enough to notice the way my heart beat around him, I was forced to admit I still had feelings for the big guy.

Years and years of orbiting each other, and no matter if he or I were seeing other people, the teenage crush I should have outgrown remained. Like a lighthouse to a boat at sea, his beam drew me in with a rhythmic, persistent call.

Even on a night like this, when I had just broken up with another undercover jerk, and Jake and I were surrounded by friends and family at a fundraiser gala, my heart wondered if things with Jake would ever go that way.

Except, if all the pieces finally fell into place for us and we ended up together, I still didn't know what everyone's response would be. It was hard to imagine trying to start something with him while my family and friends watched us in shock, or searched for signs of trouble.

Gabe joined Jake and me in our small bubble.

"Max, Javier, and I are going to go walk the room." Gabe's eyes moved between Jake and me, complete innocence there. I didn't think he'd ever suspected my feelings. "Are you joining us?"

"I'm going to get a drink," I said. "I'll join you later."

"I'll go with Vi for a refill."

Gabe nodded and left with Max and Javier, and Jake turned to me with a friendly grin.

He offered me his arm. "Shall we?"

I told myself the butterflies in my stomach were confused little insects, but I put my arm around his, and let him walk with me. It forced me to confront how entwined my life was to Jake's, and how far apart we were from ever discovering something else.

My steps slowed when we approached the bar and a long line greeted us.

He groaned. "Fun. I don't think the organizers are going to try something new again. I doubt they'll skip servers again next year."

"A bar didn't simplify anything." I sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that night. "Suddenly I'm not thirsty anymore."

"What do you want to do? Should we go find Gabe and the guys again?"

"You can go. I'll go take a break. I bet it's lovely outside."

He frowned. "I can't let you go alone. I'll go with you. Keep you company."

I didn't argue.

Arm-in-arm, we approached the big, imposing doors leading to the patio. Jake opened one of them to let us outside but didn't offer his arm again. The loss of his proximity was the first thing to rob me of a few degrees of warmth, but I didn't complain.

We walked along the fancy pavers of the terrace and onto the gravel paths weaving through the grounds. The hall building boasted a gorgeous garden at the back of the property; it hosted wonderful brunch and summer night parties. Lamps shone their warm light on shadowed, dark greenery of different shapes and sizes, and brought the flower beds to a muted glow.

My dress, a wonderful, strapless, glittery thing did nothing to protect me from the cool air, and I welcomed the sensation on my skin.

"Won't you get cold?" Jake asked. "Do you want my jacket?"

It seemed better to enjoy the night temperature than to torment myself with his jacket around me. What if I got attacked by his cologne? I might embarrass myself.

"I'm good." I shook my head. "We won't take long. It's just a short walk to clear the mind."

"A lot weighing you down? You don't seem your usual cheery self tonight."

"I know I have to attend the gala once in a while, and I didn't mind too much in the past but… you're right. Tonight it's just not it."

"I thought you'd be happy to celebrate your promotion. Congratulations, again, by the way."

I smiled. Among all the shitty things to happen of late, becoming a Vice President in my family's conglomerate was a bright spot. Joy swelled inside with Jake's words; I had worked hard to meet the expectations that came with being the owners' daughter.

"Thanks. I'm happy I get to be a part of the family business my own way… and make my parents proud in the process."

"Your parents would be proud of you no matter what."

"That's true." I grinned. "I could have taken my degrees elsewhere, and they would have supported me. They have a knack for being that kind of awesome."

His chuckle was deep and rumbly. It sent shivers down my spine.

To think I believed that a walk with the man I thought of as a lighthouse, unreciprocated, would be neutral territory.

You fooled yourself, Vi. You wanted him for yourself, even if for a little while.

"They are the most wonderful people I've ever met." He shared the statement with a frown, looking at the ground as we walked. "You and your whole family are."

That was a lovely sentiment… and all I could think was that I wanted him to say something like that about me .

I didn't judge myself too harshly for my mood. My most recent breakup had been more of the same; a guy that failed to care about us . All of my exes were either too hung up on their own egos, or cared more about the money within my reach.

All of those relationships had fizzled out— quickly. I didn't think they'd ever cheated, either. Yet all of them had been with me for the wrong reasons. I gave them a chance, crossing my fingers that the initial spark of interest for someone would grow into more… but it never did. Something always happened to turn me off them. It sucked, but I couldn't say they had ever flourished into what I wanted.

Jake and I walked for a few minutes, following the winding paths until the shrubbery obscured the hall. The low light of the gardens were moody and fit my feelings.

He held his hands behind his back. "Almost a Vice President. What's your next goal? Do you have any, or do you feel… complete?"

I couldn't help it. I snorted. "Complete? Does anyone ever? That's a tall order."

"I think it's possible… don't you?"

I crossed my arms and rubbed my hands on my arms for some warmth.

I shrugged. "Maybe… but I don't mean to be ungrateful. I am extremely privileged. I do have most things I want. I'm just… off tonight, to use your word."

He cut a glance my way. "You get to be off, once in a while."

"Once in a while only?" I smiled.

"Every other day, tops."

I laughed. It lightened my chest.

His eyes softened on me. "There we go. That's better."

I bit my lip and looked straight ahead. He had always treated me like a friend, and had never made a move… but, once in a while, he said little things, or looked at me a certain way that had me wondering… what if?

I sighed. "Thank you. It's a funk I don't want to be in, but here we are."

"What's going on? You can talk to me, if you like."

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't know…"

The best-slash-worse thing that could happen was that he did the kind thing and listened to me and offered me a hug. I’d had a couple of those through the years. They were amazing . Nothing compared to a Jake hug. I both craved them and feared them, because they made the limerence worse.

"I won't judge," he said.

"I know you won't, but…"

He was part of why I felt the way I did, so romantically disheartened.

"We're alone in a quiet garden at night." He swept his hand across the air, in a loose show of the manicured space. "It's private. Nothing has to go out of the confines of our walk. If you want to talk, I'm here. It's sad that you're sad, and if I can help, I'd like to."

My hesitation only lasted for a couple of seconds. It would feel good to take a portion of the truth and air it out. If he had only hugged me twice in twenty years, chances were he wouldn't make that night a third.

"You know I love my parents dearly, right?" I said. "They're amazing. The one unintended consequence of having such great people raise you is that they show you exactly what you want and how to ask for it, and that includes what I want out of love."

We continued to walk side-by-side, strolling away in the mostly-dark. A hint of dew rose in the air, mixed with the remnants of flower perfume that would have been intense during the day.

I took a deep breath. "I'm ecstatic that I got the promotion the way I did, proving this was at least in part meritocracy, even if my parents own the conglomerate. And still… I know it'll make my romantic prospects worse."

"Worse, how?" he asked. "I can't imagine you'd ever lack attention. You're striking."

Two such comments on the same night. No wonder I kept on being hooked by the idea of Jake, when he offered me these random, tiny nuggets of hope. He had to see something attractive in me to say that, right?

I pursed my lips. "I get enough attention, just not the right kind. The guys I've dated have been so vapid, more into their stocks than anything. Where are the good ones? They're either hiding, or my old friends were right and they're intimidated by me."

The friends that also used to say the problem was me. That I chose the wrong guys. A little victim-blamey in my opinion, but I should probably consider that option too, sometime. After several attempts at romance that failed at the four-to-six month mark, something didn't square up.

"Intimidated?" Jake gazed at me in confusion.

"Yes. I'm a young woman, a billionaire in a position of power in an international conglomerate. I'm pretty, I think, and I'm a woman in a big body who loves herself. Lots of people panic at the mix."

He gazed at me like he truly couldn't compute what I was saying.

"You're all of those things, and if someone is intimidated, then it says something about them , doesn't it? Weakness of character, in particular. That wouldn't be a good guy, at least not one good enough for you."

And he gave me another crumb. I sometimes wondered if Jake himself was intimidated by these things. It was either that, or he simply had never seen me in any way other than a friend.

A friend who agreed with me being pretty and confident, and a friend who seemed happy to make me laugh.

"If you're looking for love," he said, "I'm sure you'll find it."

I shivered again, this time only because of the cold. Probably.

I rubbed my arms again. "You may have more trust in that than I do. Or I'm just in my feelings tonight and needing to be dramatic to release some frustration. The idea of going even higher in the company… it makes me a little hopeless. But I won't turn down being the VP of Legal just because it might make me a little less intimidating to potential partners."

"Of course you shouldn't. The right partner will be happy for you, and they'll celebrate you. Support you. Someone will love you right, Vi."

I shivered again.

"You're cold." He stopped in his tracks and took off his jacket.

I faced him. A mix of nerves, hope, yearning, and affection scattered in my diaphragm. His intentions were clear and heat infused my face.

He held the jacket at shoulder height, and I put my arms in the sleeves. I turned and his hands stayed on the collar, arranging the garment around me.

It was big for me, and warm from his body. He looked down at me with a frown, his eyes on the jacket or my chest— I didn't know. In the low light, I didn't know if he blushed; he did, sometimes.

His cologne reached me as expected, and I filled my lungs with it the way I wish I could fill my soul with the whole of him.

"Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you." His frown deepened, and his hands stilled on the collar. "Never doubt it. The right person will show up and make it clear, you're everything they could ever want."

That's what I wanted, and what I had to believe in. I wouldn't give up, and I wouldn't settle. The fact that Jake was the person to comfort me with those words didn't escape me. It only made me want him to be that person even more.

My heart raced in my chest. "What if the person I want to feel that way for me never does?"

He lifted his eyes to me. "Impossible. You could make anyone fall in love with you, Vi."

"Anyone?" I bit my lip.

His eyes dropped to my mouth. "Anyone. Even someone who shouldn't love you that way. If you show them who you are, with your friendly, giving heart and that smile of yours… eventually, they'd break and fall to their knees."

The soundwaves of his words hit my chest, compressing my lungs.

"That's a lot of power to have, Jake." My voice came out a whisper, but it was okay. We were alone in a beautiful garden at night. "All I want is for the right person to love me back."

He let go of the jacket and sighed. His eyes locked with mine again. "And you'll get that. Someone else will get to look at you, know you, discover how wonderful you are, too. It's inevitable."

Sadness and regret became shadows in his eyes, and he made to turn away. I stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Someone else?" Hope sprung among my ribs. A whole system of roots took hold of my guts.

"Fuck," he muttered. He turned to me again. "We should go back."

"What did you mean, someone else?"

"Other people have loved you. People will love you again."

"People? You mean my parents? Gabe?"

Restlessness moved down his powerful shoulders and thick arms. He shrugged as if his shirt was suddenly too small for his big body.

"You mean my exes?" My hand was still around his forearm, and I squeezed harder.

He shook his head, eyes fixed on the ground.

My blood rang in my ears, and my mind went blank.

"Jake… could you be someone who loved me like that?"

The words escaped my lips. I was the one to gasp at hearing the question hanging between us. Any surprise I felt at baring my heart unexpectedly like that faded into the background— my attention narrowed on him and what his response might be.

He stilled. His eyes locked again with mine. Tension rose between us, the tiny hairs on my arms reaching for him, for the sky, like lightning might strike in the next few seconds.

"Fuck," he said again, before he took a long step to me, grabbed me with one hand in my hair and the other around my waist, and pulled me to him.

His lips on mine rocked me on my feet.