Chapter Forty-Five
JT woke up disoriented. Ali’s room was a far cry from her parents’ basement couch, and she forgot where she was until she felt Ali’s warmth next to her.
Ali’s blond hair spilled across the pillow, catching the weak morning light from the window.
It was still early, but if there was sunlight she really should be going home.
Toby would be waiting and so would her family.
Ali stirred next to her. JT pushed a few strands of hair away from Ali’s face and marveled. How was this woman with her? How had she found her way into the bedroom of the girl who made her realize she liked girls? How on earth had she been so lucky?
Ali smiled but didn’t open her eyes. “I can feel you staring at me.”
“Not staring, admiring.”
Ali opened one eye. “Are you always this smooth? Is it your thing?”
JT laughed and kissed Ali on the forehead. “No one in the history of the world has ever thought I was smooth. Good morning, you look beautiful.”
Ali snuggled into JT’s shoulder. “You are smooth whether you realize it or not.” She kissed the bare skin exposed above the sheets. “This is nice, you know?”
JT nodded and stared out the window. “It really is, but I probably should go home so I can take my dog for a walk and shower before we win this final contest.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Stay here. Or go get Toby and come back. I’m not in favor of animal cruelty.” She squinted up at JT. “I take it back. Call your brother and have him take your dog for a walk and then take a shower with me.”
JT smiled and kissed Ali. “I would love to, but I don’t have clean clothes and you know I can’t fit into yours, you tiny gorgeous human.”
“I am not tiny.”
“Babe, you’re like five foot two.”
“Five-three! God, the slander.” Ali rolled on top of JT. “But you’re not nearly as curvy. I suppose you’ll be more comfortable in your own clothes for the competition. And it will be satisfying to get you out of them later.”
JT shook her head slowly. “Bit presumptuous of you.”
Ali let her hair fall over her face, tickling JT’s nose. “Are you saying you don’t want to come back here after we win to have a naked celebration with me?”
JT raised herself up on her elbows so she could kiss Ali. “Definitely not saying that. But I don’t want to jinx it. Maybe Sharon is secretly a master sculptor or something.”
Ali held JT’s face in her hands. “You are ridiculous. Sharon could be a master sculptor, but I have no doubt that Kyle is going to try to swagger his way through. Trust me, I was with that ding-dong for a decade, I know him. He’s not going to be able to resist showing off.
He’ll say something stupid like ‘landscapers are just good with their tools’ or some shit and then the head will fall off the snowman. ”
JT laughed. “Okay, I trust you. But that doesn’t change the fact that I have to go take a shower and put on clean clothes so I don’t smell like sex all day.
” She kissed the tip of Ali’s nose. “I also have to endure my family giving me shit if I can’t sneak in without them noticing I was gone. So, cross your fingers for me.”
Ali kissed her gently and then rolled off JT and let her escape the bed.
JT didn’t want to go. But every minute she stayed only made the inevitable harder.
She scurried around the room, scooping up her clothes and putting them on.
It was significantly colder out of the covers.
Every time she looked at the bed, she had to force herself not to crawl back in with Ali.
Once she was dressed, she leaned over and kissed Ali who was still lying in the bed.
“I should walk you out,” Ali said, as if the idea just dawned on her.
JT shook her head. “No. You stay there and get some more sleep if you can. I’ll drive back over in time to go to the next event with every carving tool I can steal from my parents. See you in a bit.” She kissed Ali again before forcing herself to leave.
Outside, the air was crisp and cold, with a light wind rustling the trees.
JT kicked her boots through the snow. It was too hard to leave Ali for a few hours.
How on earth was she going to leave her for good after New Year’s?
She wished she’d never asked the league to put her somewhere other than Boston.
She knew they could do long-distance, but she wasn’t sure that was fair to Ali.
She was too amazing to be waiting around for JT to have a game on the East Coast, and her job wasn’t exactly conducive to traveling.
She had to be in the classroom every day between January and June with few exceptions.
Could they make it work that way? Maybe.
But would Ali want to, or would she grow bored of the travel and the distance and surviving on phone calls and texts? JT wasn’t sure.
She knew how she felt about Ali. That hadn’t changed much since she was a teenager.
Ali Porter had been the sun and the moon to her when she was a teenager and was again now, but relationships needed careful tending and nurturing.
They might be a hardy flower, but even the hardiest needed sunlight.
And if JT ended up in Minnesota, she didn’t know how she’d survive for weeks or months without the sun.
She stewed for the rest of the walk home and arrived to a chaotic kitchen full of little kids, the smell of French toast, and Toby waiting expectantly for anything to fall into her mouth.
“Good morning, little sister,” Emerson said with a smirk from the table, where she was cutting Brooke’s French toast into sticks.
JT felt her face turning red. “Good morning, big sister.” She hoped her tone was enough warning to keep her family from making jokes in front of the kids.
“Auntie JT, we’re having finch toast,” Brooke said, pointing to her plate.
“That looks so good. Is there any left for me?”
Jonathan handed her a plate stacked high with slices. “Oh, we sure did. I told Beth we should make extra because I thought you might have worked up quite an appetite this morning.”
“Guys,” JT said, her voice a low growl.
“Where were you, JT?” Mabel asked.
JT looked at her siblings, who offered zero help. She sat next to her niece. “I was at my friend Ali’s house.”
“Did you have a sleepover?” Harrison asked.
Jonathan sat next to his son and handed him a glass of milk. He smiled at JT and raised his eyebrows.
JT fought the urge to hold a water glass to her cheek. Her entire face felt like it was on fire. “Yes, like a sleepover.”
“Cool,” Harrison said and went back to his food.
Mabel looked at Beth. “Mom, I want to have a sleepover too!”
JT got up to get coffee. This was excruciating and her siblings seemed to be having way too much fun.
“Mabel, you can have a sleepover when you’re a little older,” Beth said. Mabel took a bite of her food but did not look at all satisfied with the answer.
JT’s mom met her at the coffeepot. She handed JT a mug and poured her a full cup. “Did you have a nice time?”
“Mom.” JT’s voice was whiny and pleading. She wanted these people to leave her alone. “I shouldn’t have come home, you guys are the worst.”
Her mom laughed. “Honey, first you come home and stay longer than normal and now you’ve had to do the walk of shame right into breakfast. Honestly, you don’t need to get us presents next year. This will more than suffice.”
JT found the cream and sugar but in the process ran into her dad.
“So, Casanova…”
“Oh my god, Dad, stop it.”
He and her mom laughed as they leaned against the counter. “You don’t understand. Your brother and sister were always sneaking around and bringing their dates home. You never have. This is a first, and we are loving it.”
JT sighed and tried to stay mad, but it was a first for her, too.
She felt included and not like the weirdo outsider in her own house.
She wasn’t loving being made fun of in front of her nieces and nephews because it meant she couldn’t truly fire back.
Her family was using innuendos and cloaked language to keep the kids in the dark, but if she fought back, the kids would know something was up.
“Fine. But if you come to the final contest event you cannot act like this. Whatever I have with Ali is in the early stages. I don’t even know what it is, really. And I could end up out in Minnesota next month. So, please…”
“What do you mean you could end up in Minnesota?” her mom asked, of course seizing on the most important thing. “Why would you end up so far away? I thought established players had more say.”
JT stared at a spot on the counter. No matter how much her family’s indifference hurt her, she didn’t want to tell them she’d asked to be anywhere but near them. They’d hurt her but she didn’t want to hurt them back.
But then she didn’t have to because her mom figured it out. “You asked them to.”
JT nodded but didn’t look at her mom. She couldn’t bear to see the hurt in her eyes. “Yeah,” she said.
“Why would you do that?” her dad asked.
JT looked at her siblings and their families sitting around the table.
This is what she was running away from. This group of people who she loved.
She was the one who was removing herself from moments like this.
She was protecting her fragile heart from these people she loved not showing up for her.
She’d taken that choice away from them because it was easier than getting pummeled every time they failed to show up for her.
“This is about the final game,” her mom said, her voice cracking.
JT nodded. “It’s about that and every other game you skipped.” She turned to look at them. “I didn’t want to look up in the stands at every home game in hopes you would come only to be disappointed. There’s only so much I can bear.”
“Does Ali know you asked the league to put you elsewhere?”
“She knows, but we’re just friends.”
Her mom and dad laughed right there in her face. “Oh, so it was a ‘just friends’ sleepover then?” her mom asked, still laughing.
JT blushed. “Come on, you know someone like Ali is never going to fall for someone like me.”
“Why not?” JT’s dad asked, sounding offended on her behalf.
JT sighed. “She’s got her shit together. She has a real job and house and…”
JT’s mom slipped her arm around JT’s waist and pulled her in for a hug.
“You might not believe this coming from your shitty parents, but you’re an incredible woman.
Ali would be lucky to be with you. We understand why you requested another team, but I’d love it if you’d consider giving us a chance to be better at showing up for you. ”
JT didn’t want to talk about this anymore, especially not with her parents, who were both correct and the reason for the problem in the first place. “I’ve got to take a shower and change before the contest. Do you guys have any tools you think might help us carve that snow block?”
Her parents shared a look. “Yeah, we’ll get some stuff from the barn for you.”
In the shower, JT kept going over her night with Ali and her conversations with her parents.
They’d been so helpful about the contest and the night with Ali had been incredible, but this morning it felt like reality was punching her in the face.
Her feelings toward Hart’s Landing had changed since being home.
People seemed to genuinely feel happy for her, proud of her accomplishments in a way she never experienced before.
And she’d talked to her parents about all the ways they’d failed to show up for her in the past. All of that was great, but was it enough to make her want to change her choice of team?
Could she trust them not to break her heart again?
What if she talked to the league and they put her in Boston and everything with Ali fizzled and her parents’ promises to do better were nothing more than words?
Then she’d be in Boston and looking into the stands hoping to see them only to be crushed again.
And what if Ali decided that dating her wasn’t all that great?
It had been an amazing week, but a week was nothing.
Ali could change her mind or realize she was a fucking catch who deserved better than JT.
By the time she got dressed for the contest, her head was even more of a mess. No matter what came next, she had to get her ass out the door so they could make the best snow sculpture ever and win the final prize.
Regardless of what they were to each other, having an amazing romantic dinner at the inn sounded like the perfect way to end this chapter. Or maybe begin the next one, not that JT felt like she had any right to hope.
She stopped in the kitchen for another cup of coffee and some snacks to take with her.
Her parents were sitting at the table, no grandkids in sight.
“We loaded the tools into the back of your car. I’d suggest a few pairs of gloves in case yours get wet as you work,” her dad said, nodding to a pile of gloves and mittens on the end of the table.
“I pulled a bunch together in case you and Ali needed them.”
“Thanks, Dad.” JT wanted to say something more, but she couldn’t find the right words. Not an apology, because her actions were based on her experiences and she wasn’t sorry to be protecting herself. But she was sorry if that hurt her parents.
Her mom walked over to her. “We’ll be there in a few hours.
I know you can’t ask us for help once you start, but we want to be there to see how it goes anyway.
Your father tried to cook up some hand signals but I told him to knock it off.
You’re not a cheater, and besides, you’re going to do great.
You may not have chosen art as a career, but you’ll do fine with Ali by your side. You two make a good pair.”
“Thanks, Mom,” JT said before grabbing the bundle of gloves and the rest of her cold weather gear and heading out.
She might not know how things were going to end up with Ali, but she was sure she wanted to beat Kyle’s ass in this final competition. There was no way she was letting his stupid ass win the final prize.