Chapter 10
@thetea_gasp
brEAKING: THE ZADDY IS OFFICIALLY OFF THE MARKET THIS WEEKEND AND WE’RE SO UNWELL RN
Bestie. BESTIE. Lock the doors. Cancel your plans. Touch grass later because THIS IS NOT A DRILL. @gageblack and @ameliasinclair are (allegedly) getting married THIS WEEKEND in some secret upstate NY ceremony and the intel is PIPING HOT.
The streets (okay, the construction workers in Avelen Hollow) are TALKING. A florist who definitely should’ve signed an NDA is spilling. Someone’s cousin who poured concrete is giving us the full debrief. And honestly? We’re seated. We’re buckled. We’re spiraling.
Here’s what we know: Gage Black didn’t just propose.
He said “lemme buy you an entire estate real quick” and then BUILT HER A WHOLE LIFE.
Custom recording studio? Check. Library that’s giving Beauty and Beast vibes?
Check. A literal glass greenhouse where he’s allegedly saying “I do for the rest of eternity” BESTIE.
This man didn’t just get down on one knee.
He bought the land, architected their forever home, and summoned the ancient gods of emotional damage to BLESS THE UNION.
It’s giving “I’ll move heaven and earth for you” but make it LITERAL. We are not okay.
And can we talk about the fact that Shayla Black (yes, THE Shayla Black, his ex-wife) is reportedly unbothered and living her best life?
She’s out of the country rn so probs not attending, but before anyone starts manifesting drama, she and Amelia were spotted having LUNCH together last week.
WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS. At the same table.
Smiling. Zero awkward energy. Just two queens saying “the only drama we acknowledge is in our Netflix queues.” We love that for them.
We love women who refuse to give the internet the mess it wants.
So yes, bestie, this is happening. This weekend. The man who gives “emotionally unavailable but would literally burn down the world for you” energy is getting MARRIED. Mr. “I’ll ruin you for anyone else” is about to vow his life to the woman who makes him SOFT.
And honestly? We’ve never been more devastated that we were not invited. We’ll be over here planning our crash strategy. Might have to go touch grass fr #FeralForGageStill #ZaddyDownBad