Chapter 32
“Dick told me you have a new girlfriend. Why haven’t I heard about her?” Dad asks after I’ve been summoned into his office.
What I want to say is that I didn’t tell him because of the way he acted around the last one. What I say instead is, “Gwen isn’t really my girlfriend.”
He thinks about that for a moment, eyes that mirror mine trying to decide if I’m lying or not. “Bring her for dinner. Tuesday night.”
Fuck.
Bex and I decided that I should be the one to talk to Gabe first. He’s my best friend and I want to make sure he understands just how serious I am about his sister, which is going to be a better conversation without her in the room. She’s not even ready to hear some of the things I want to tell Gabe. Namely, that I fucking love her.
After I drop Bex off, I walk up to our apartment fully ready to hype Gabe up about this relationship. I also already texted Callahan asking to meet before class tomorrow morning so I feel like things are really starting to fall into place.
As soon as I open the door, I’m greeted with the image of Gabe pacing back and forth. Our apartment is not that big so he makes it from the kitchen island to the back of the couch in about five paces before turning and doing the whole thing again. He doesn’t even register my presence, that’s how in his head he is. I immediately know something is wrong.
“Everything okay?” I ask in greeting.
His head snaps up at my question. “Thank God you’re home.” He walks over to me and grabs my shoulders. “I fucked up.”
“Okay… what exactly did you fuck up?” I’m scared to know the answer.
“I kissed Luci.”
Gabe has been panicking for the last thirty minutes, and I still can’t convince him to just sit the fuck down and tell me exactly what happened. He’s stressing me out.
“I did it all wrong,” he says again, running his hands through his already messed up hair, gripping the ends tightly.
“Right, so you’ve said. But I still don’t understand what the fuck happened.”
Finally, he sits down on the edge of the chair across from me, bouncing his leg up and down.
“I don’t really understand it either,” he admits. “I’ve—shit. I like her? It feels juvenile to say that. She… she’s Bex’s best friend. But she just, like, calms me, you know?”
I do know. Unfortunately, I know because of his sister which I still haven’t been able to tell him about.
He continues before I have a chance to interject. “Wait, sorry, of course you don’t know because you don’t really do serious relationships.” He rests his face in his hands, not even realizing the sting of his words.
“I do know, actually.” I really shouldn’t start this now but he’s kind of pissing me off.
He looks at me through his fingers. “Because of the secret girl you’ve been sneaking around with?” He raises an eyebrow in question.
“Maybe. But we can talk about that in a minute, first I want to understand why you think you fucked up so bad. I don’t think Bex will care if you guys like each other.”
“Well, I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t ask, and so we kissed but then I kind of—fuck. I kind of told her that it was a huge mistake and could never happen again. You should have seen her face. She looked mortified. And devastated. I just… I freaked out.”
“What is with the Bardot siblings and skittishness toward commitment?” I ask, because he’s unknowingly acting just like his sister.
He slouches back into the chair. “Fuck, I don’t know man. My parents, they’re just so perfect. They’ve always had such a great relationship, modeling that for us. I mean they were married at like twenty-one or twenty-two and never looked back. It’s intimidating, feeling like you have to live up to that.”
“One, you don’t have to live up to that. You are your own person and you and Luci would have your own relationship, doing it the way that feels right for both of you. Two, I’m sure if you talked to them, they would say their relationship is far from perfect. No one is together for as long as they have been without some hiccups along the way.”
He nods contemplatively, staring at the ceiling as he processes what I just said. “I think Luci puts on this sunshine-y facade, but there’s more to her. I shouldn’t have been so reckless, and now I’m worried I’ve ruined my chance with her.”
“Did this kiss just come out of nowhere?” I’m still a little confused as to how it could have happened.
“Not exactly…” he whispers. “We’ve been talking, I guess. Texting stupid things about our day or funny videos. I’ve always been attracted to her, I mean, she’s gorgeous. But we’ve spent more time together in a group setting and I don’t know—things just escalated? I just don’t feel ready for her. I feel like no matter what, I’ll mess it up.”
I can tell he has more to say on that, so I just wait for him to continue.
“I’ve been popping into Bex’s apartment more often, hoping to get some time with Luci,” he sighs. “I went over there this weekend thinking Bex would be home, but Luci was there by herself. She asked if I wanted to stay and watch a movie. So I did. And one thing led to another, and suddenly we weren’t watching the movie anymore.”
“I’m surprised Luci hasn’t told Bex that you guys were texting. They seem too close for secrets like that.”
“I was a little wary of that too, honestly. But Luci said Bex has been having some boy troubles—whatever that means. So she didn’t want to bring it up. We also hadn’t really crossed a line until last night so there wasn’t much to say.”
Boy troubles… fuck, that’s me. I’m the boy troubles. I need to tell Gabe now.
“I—”
But Gabe interrupts before I get anything out. “I think there’s something else going on with Luci, I just don’t know what it is. I should call her.”
“Cool it, Casanova. Let her breathe a little bit. I would imagine she’s feeling a lot of things right now and probably wants to process all of that with Bex before hearing from you.”
I feel like I’m talking to a wall because he’s already pulled his phone out and his fingers are moving frantically across the screen.
“I’m just going to…” he mumbles as he continues to type. He hits one more button and then launches his phone across the room to me. “There.”
I pick it up, thrilled to see he’s already hit send before I could stop him. I wince as I read his text.
Gabe
We need to talk.
“That’s what you came up with?” I set the phone to the side, rubbing a hand down my face before picking up the phone again. I wait a minute, trying to come up with something to add that will make it sound less ominous. Before I have a chance though, the three little dots pop up and disappear several times. “She’s typing something,” I say, tossing the phone back to Gabe.
He watches the screen with laser focus. After a minute, I hear it buzz and watch him read before his hands go slack and his head drops between his shoulders.
“What did she say?” I ask.
“She doesn’t think that’s a good idea. She agrees that last night was a mistake.” He looks like a sad puppy.
“Just give her time,” I encourage. “She’ll come around.”
He nods, continuing to stare forlornly at his shoes. He nods again and sits up, lacing his fingers behind his head. “I need something to distract me from this shit show. How was the gala this weekend?”
I feel like my stomach might fall out of my ass. “Uh, it was—uhm, it was good, yeah.”
“Why are you acting so weird?” he asks, his face scrunching up in confusion. “Did your dad do something shitty?”
“Always, but no. It’s just that… Well, I have a girlfriend now. So I’d say the weekend went well.”
His eyebrows fly up to his hairline. “A girlfriend, huh? Anyone I know?”
“You’ve met her before…”
His curiosity has piqued and I can tell this is distracting him from the Luci situation. “Really? When?”
I act like I have to think really hard about this answer. Mainly because I’m killing time. I really don’t know how he’s going to take this.
“I think the first time was about twenty-two years ago… probably in a hospital room, shortly after she was born.”
“What are you…” he trails off as my words start to make sense.
I brace myself as the final piece clicks into place.