Chapter 33
“What if I just don’t go?”
Mom looks at me as if I’ve grown three heads. “You can’t skip your brother’s graduation, Rebecca.”
“Why not? I have two more of them.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “We are going to Gabriel’s college graduation. He would never miss such an important day for you and if you want to know what I think—”
“I don’t.”
“I think you’re avoiding something, so either we can talk about it or you can go change clothes and meet the rest of us at the car in thirty minutes. Your choice.”
I guess I’m going to Gabe’s graduation.
Anders drops me off and then heads back to his apartment to bring Gabe up to speed. I’m expecting a call from him soon, after they get a chance to hash things out.
What I’m not expecting is to walk into my apartment to a sobbing Luci, Riz sitting next to her, rubbing her back in soothing strokes.
I rush over to her side because it is such a rarity to see Luci cry that something must be seriously wrong. “What the hell happened?”
Riz looks up at me and answers, “You need to hear her out.”
That statement only confuses me further. “Of course I’d hear her out,” I answer indignantly. “We always hear each other out.”
Turning so I’m sitting on the floor in front of Luci, I grab her hands and try to calm her down. “Luce,” I whisper. “What’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”
“It’s—it’s just… I’ve been talking to someone and he, sort of, well… we kissed last night.”
“That seems like a good thing? Why didn’t you tell me? We tell each other everything.” I’m pretty hurt by this revelation, but I also know the feeling of wanting to see where something is going before you talk about it.
She pulls her hands out of mine and covers her face, choking out another sob. “Itwuzz”—sob—“urbruuhhhther.” Her back is shaking, but I did not catch any of what she just said so I just keep trying to touch and soothe her.
“I’m so sorry, Luce. I didn’t understand that.” I look to Riz for help but she shakes her head in a don’t-look-at-me gesture. “Can you repeat what you said?” I try.
She takes a cleansing breath, pulling herself together slightly. “It was… your brother.” And this time I hear her crystal clear. I rear back as though I’ve been slapped, pushing to stand to my feet.
“Oh God. You’re mad!” she cries. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, Bex. I don’t know how it happened!”
“I—I’m not mad,” I try to reassure her, because I’m not. “I’m surprised maybe? In shock, definitely. And confused as hell.”
She nods, wiping a tear that threatens to spill from her eyes. “You are valid in feeling all of those things. I should have told you.”
It hits me after a second that I still don’t know exactly who she’s talking about. I lower back down to her level because I’m unsure of how to ask this tactfully. “Uh, Luce… I don’t know the right way to say this, but which brother was it exactly?” I give her a half smile. “There’s too many of them for my liking, if I’m being honest.”
That pulls a laugh out of her before her face crumples again. “It was Gabe.”
“Ah… that fucker. I don’t understand why you still look so sad, though. I’m surprised but if y’all want to date, or whatever…” I look at her expectantly, but she just shakes her head. “It’s okay with me, you know. I think you could do way better, but who am I to judge?”
She chuckles but there’s no humor in it. “He apparently thinks he can do way better… He told me it was a mistake and it can’t happen again.”
I jump back up, ready to go full tire slasher on him. I don’t care that he’s my brother, he’s hurt my best friend! “What the fuck?! How dare he! Has he met you? You’d be the best thing to ever happen to him! I feel like we should have a bat somewhere around here—” I start to look around for one. “Let’s go do some damage to his car!”
Riz finally jumps in, grabbing my arm and yanking me back down. “Calm down, Beyonce. We aren’t busting anyone’s windows tonight.”
Just then, Luci’s phone chimes. We all turn toward it in time to see “Gabe *heart emoji*” flash across her screen.
“Look at that, but then we need to talk about why you didn’t tell me. My boyfriend is Gabe’s best friend for fuck’s sake. Why, of all people, would I be mad about you guys talking?”
Luci’s hand is halfway to her phone before both she and Riz pause.
“Did you just say boyfriend?” Riz asks at the same time Luci squeals, “Wait! Anders is your boyfriend?”
I wave them off. “That’s old news. What did my asshole brother say?”
But apparently we aren’t moving on yet because Riz smirks and says, “So… does the carpet match the drapes?”
“Oh my God, Riz! You can’t just ask someone that!” Luci guffaws.
“First of all, don’t Mean Girls me! I can ask whatever I want. Second of all, don’t we deserve to know?! We’ve kept their secret rendezvous a”—she waves her hands in front of her face—“secret!”
“You can ask whatever you want, but I refuse to answer that. I will tell you that his dick is not cheetah print, though, and it is magical,” I sigh.
“We were worried that it was cheetah print?” Riz asks.
“Forget that! What did Gabe say?” I redirect us back to the matter at hand.
Luci grabs her phone, opening the text. “‘We need to talk’ with a period at the end.”
“A period? What does that mean?” Riz asks.
“Everyone knows periods mean people are angry. What on earth could he possibly be angry about?” I ask.
Luci types a few words out and then wilts before me, tossing her phone to the other side of the couch.
“What did you say?” Riz whispers.
“I told him that I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk. If he thinks last night was a mistake…” She shrugs her shoulders, but one lone tear falls, giving away her true feelings. “I won’t be someone else’s mistake,” she finishes firmly.
“You are not a mistake,” I say, sitting down next to her on the couch, Riz coming over to the other side to sandwich her in. “You are one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. We love you and will support you no matter what. If you want to try things with Gabe, we support you. If you need me to go find that bat…”
“I get it. You support me,” she huffs, pulling her hands into the sleeves of her sweatshirt and then using it to wipe the tears from beneath her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. You just had so much going on with Anders, and truly, until last night we were just talking. Flirting, yes, but also I thought we really understood each other. Now, I’m not so sure.”
Luci’s head falls to my shoulder and I give her time to process anything else she wants to say. We sit in silence and I start to think about the ways that Luci and Gabe make sense. They are both sunshine in human form. Always optimistic and ready for a good time. I know Luci’s sunshine is a byproduct of her childhood—one where she was forced to be the sunshine to her younger siblings. I guess in a way, Gabe would understand that, being the oldest as well. And, though I’m jumping way ahead, it would be awesome for Luci to be my sister.
I’m snapped out of that line of thought when Luci begins to sniffle. “Can we talk about something else? I really do want to hear about your weekend with Anders.”
So, in the midst of Luci’s hurting, I fill my best friends in on what a dream my weekend was—how perfectly Anders seems to know me, in a way I didn’t realize was missing. I tell them about the gala, how icky Anders’ dad was, how loved I felt at Bemelman’s, and afterward when we went back to the hotel. I don’t flat out say that I’m falling for him, but they can tell. They listen intently—Luci, with soft smiles and encouraging nods, and Riz, with inappropriate gestures and vulgar questions.
We talk until we fall into comfortable silence, happy to be back together again.
At some point, I get a text from “Best Big Brother” which I’m assuming is Gabe. It just says, “We need to talk.” because that’s apparently the only thing my idiot of a brother knows how to say anymore. I flip my phone over, deciding to save that problem for tomorrow.